Jocelyn made a grunting noise as I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. Maybe tomorrow, when my head was cleared with a good night’s rest, we could discuss this more.
****
“Come on sleepyhead, wake up.” Jocelyn was awake and buzzing about the room early the next morning.
I groaned and pulled the covers over my head.
“You cannot hide all day long. You made your bed. and now you have to lay in it. Get up.”
“Jocelyn, I’m pretty sure I’m lying in my bed. Getting up would be the exact opposite of lying in the bed I made. Go away.”
“You know what I’m referring to. Don’t get smart with me,” she joked.
“Come on, we don’t have to meet up with your group, but we are in Vegas and in a fancy hotel. Let’s enjoy it a little, please. I think we both need a little relaxing.”
“Convincing.” I slowly emerged from the covers. “What would you like to do?”
“Well, what is there to do during the day in Vegas?”
“Usually, sleep off a hangover.” I laughed. “Too bad I cut the night short before we had the chance. I’m really sorry. Well, just because we’re not hung over, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a little hangover cures. “We could check out the spa, or go lounge by the pool. Your call.”
Jocelyn wrinkled her nose. “No spa, the pool is just fine.”
“Pool it is.” I smiled, thankful for such a great friend.
We got to the pool early enough to secure a few nice cabana chairs and ordered a couple of Bloody Mary’s. We didn’t speak much other than to comment on the weather or ask one another if we wanted another drink. We both had far too much to ponder. Our friendship was such that words weren’t always needed. It was nice.
“What are you going to say to Andrew and everyone when we get to the airport?” she inquired tentatively. It was the question I’d been mulling over all day.
“I don’t know. Nobody knows about the divorce as far as I’m aware.” I said. “Try to hide in my shame.”
“Not very fun getting caught, huh?”
Slow, yet ever so dramatically I pulled my shades down over my eyes, refusing to answer. Feigning a hangover would consume my day, and hopefully, with a good poolside bartender, I’d step on that plane a little intoxicated.
Chapter Eighteen
Random girl number four walked on set beside Andrew at 10:22 a.m. No wait, make that random girl number five, I was random girl four.
Anger rose in my chest slow all-consuming like a flame. It left my heart charred. How could he go from secret notes, stolen kisses, and hidden touches under the dinner table, to flaunting another woman in my face two days later? I thrust my hands into my pockets to hide my shaking fingers. I must’ve gasped because Jocelyn was looking at me with a scowl on her face.
“Mari, what’s wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing. Look.” I nodded in Andrew’s direction. “See, I told you there was nothing to worry about. It appears now that everybody knows he’s had his way with me and it’s no longer a secret, I’m no longer a novelty,” I hissed and thrust the script at her. “When we get to this part, come get me please. I will be in the car.” And with that I stormed off the set, a lover scorned.
****
“Why don’t you invite him to hang out with us after work?”
I opened my eyes to see Jocelyn’s good arm folded on the car window. “Are you insane? I’m not talking to him, let alone spending time with him.”
I’d been hiding out in my rental car; it was much less comfortable, but far more secluded than my trailer. No one bothered to approach me during my short trips onto the set including the normally social butterfly, Billy. Which was fine with me, I didn’t want to speak with anyone either.
“I think you should talk to him at least. You might be surprised what you find out.” She raised her eyebrows and smiled.
“Ha, no thanks.” The last thing I wanted to do was give him a chance to break up with me, or whatever. I wanted to be the one to decide what to do about our relationship, and maybe he’d tell me he would wait for me, that he understood. But bringing a woman home the day we returned, was mean.
She sighed and stood up. “Soul mates my ass. You can’t be soul mates if you’re the same person. I’ve never seen two more stubborn people in my life.” The car door opened. “Come on then, you’re needed on-set.”
“Even if we were okay, it would be too weird for you and me.”
“What isn’t weird about my life right now? No really, I’m okay with it. You need to get everything out of your system now before you go home next week.”
Next week? I hadn’t realized it was so soon. I wished next week was tomorrow as well as never. I wanted to put as much distance between Andrew and myself as possible, but at the same time, I didn’t want to face Dan and the divorce.
****
“Marissa,” Andrew called as I headed toward costume storage. “Stop for a second!”
A string of curse words that would make even a sailor blush ran through my mind. Not only was the temperature in the triple digits, but the boning from my corset was digging into my rib cage. Could I really afford any more discomfort?
“I’m in a hurry, I don’t have time to stop.” Truth was, I didn’t want to look him in the face. After everything that happened the past few days. I’d expected things to be different. I hadn’t expected to see him stumbling on set with another bleached blonde bimbo glued to his arm this morning.
My nerves were stretched tighter than a snare drum. When this godforsaken movie was finished filming I would run back to Boston and leave this hell pit behind me. Damn the cast and their immature incessant gossiping. Damn Andrew for using me for sport, and I’ll be forever damned for letting him. My instincts told me he was bad news, but his good looks and mop of glorious thick hair caused me to ignore my instincts.
I fully intended to leave acting behind for good after this experience. I couldn’t afford to let it take what was left of my tarnished soul.
“Then I’ll walk and explain. I’ve made a terrible mistake, Marissa. I overheard you at the club the other night talking to Jocelyn, and I couldn’t stand it. I was hurt and foolishly wanted to hurt you in return. Jocelyn explained what really happened.”
“It doesn’t matter. You are who you are. I can’t expect anything different. It’s not like when Dan cheated on me. We’re not in a relationship, so I can’t expect anything from you.” My heart crumbled into dust with the words spoken out loud. This was it, the official end to my love affair.
“Don’t compare me to that wanker. I told you I’m not interested in that any more.” He swung his body in front of me, halting my retreat.
I wanted to kick him or slap him, anything to catch him off guard so I could leave without being pursued. Words formed on my lips to insult him. I raised my hand to strike but he caught my wrist mid-swing.
“Would you please just stop for one bloody moment? I wanted to. I literally wanted to get back at you like some petty childish revenge,” he confessed and his voice lowered. “I couldn’t do it though. All I could think about was you. Even if I meant nothing to you, I couldn’t say the same. Her face, her touch, did nothing for me. It was you I wanted so badly in my arms that I ached from the emptiness.”
I stared dumbly at him, mouth slack as goose bumps trailed up my arms in response to his words. He loosened his grip on my wrist but didn’t let go. His thumb lightly traced over my bruised carpal bones soothing the sting from his grip.
“There is something in the way you look at me, your touch, it’s incomprehensible what it does to me. If you don’t want to be with me, fine. I guess I’ll have to remain celibate, for I believe you may have broken me.”
Realization of his words slowly sank in. I’d thought when I saw him walk in with another girl this morning I had an easy way out of this. Away from my feelings for Andrew, I wouldn’t have to make any choices. I’d hate him for playing me for a fool. With his heartfelt confessi
on, this was no longer an option. I pulled my hand free and wrapped my arms around my chest to fight the urge to reach out and embrace him. Once again, the wall I’d built around my emotions crumbled.
“I just...bloody hell, I’m pouring my heart out to you, and you’re just standing there. Please say something.” He raked his hands through his hair.
My inner angels—or demons—were way to busy trying to pick up the pieces of my demolished protective wall.
“Please understand, at the time it made perfect sense to keep pretending you meant nothing to me. It wasn’t until your friend beat some sense into me that I realized what was going on.”
“Jocelyn?” I was taken aback.
“Yes, she’s quite the feisty one, isn’t she?”
“Really? You didn’t...” I raised an eyebrow as I searched his face for the reassurance I wanted—needed.
“Really.” His wide eyes pleaded with me.
“God, I’m sorry, Andrew.” I dropped my face into my hands, overcome by the crashing waves of emotions.
“Not nearly as sorry as I am. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
“We need to sit down and talk things through. We can’t keep living in the moment because it’s not carefree for me. This emotional rollercoaster is exhausting. Would you be willing to do that with me sometime?”
“Yes, after wrap?” The corner of his mouth twitched up, flashing his dimple at me.
“I can’t tonight. I’ve got Jocelyn with me. I’ve been a horrible friend to someone who needs me right now.”
“Don’t worry about her. I’ll take care of that. I know someone who’d love to spend some time with her. I’ll come to you in…let’s say two hours?” The eagerness was clear in his voice.
“If Jocelyn agrees to whatever you’re scheming,” I said. He smiled at me and ran off.
Back in normal clothes, I stood outside of my trailer lavishing in the feeling of an un-constricted rib cage when Jocelyn bounded up behind me. “Guess what, Marissa? John asked to take me to dinner tonight. Do you think I should go?”
“Why not?” I smiled.
“I don’t know. I am still married. It’s not like with you, no one has served any divorce papers. Isn’t that against the rules?”
“Rules? Rules went out the window when that creep beat the crap out of you.”
She grimaced. She still didn’t like to be reminded. I wasn’t about to hold back, she needed to always remember what kind of danger she’d been in and escaped from. “Just go and have fun for once Jocelyn.”
She smiled a little softer at me.
****
Jocelyn dressed up without any coaching from me for the first time since she’d gotten here.
“Jocelyn, what did you tell Andrew?” I’d been mulling over this little revelation all evening.
She walked out of the bathroom with one large fan earring in one ear and a pearl in the other. “Hmm? Which do you like better?” She turned her head swiftly from side-to-side making the fan dance around her neck.
“The gold one. Andrew said you explained everything to him. What exactly did you explain?”
She pulled the pearl out of her ear and went back into the bathroom. I followed and stood leaning against the door with my arms crossed.
“John told me that Andrew followed you out of the bar after the cast witnessed your little display the other night. Apparently, he came back in fuming, yelling at people very much unlike himself. He drank way too much and manhandled a couple of women.”
“Manhandled, really? So much for nothing happened,” I mumbled.
She gave me a puzzled look before continuing. “John thought you’d called it off and that was why Andrew was acting the way he was. I informed him he was wrong and set off to find the one person who could answer for Andrew.
“I defended you. I was angry he flaunted women in front of you. You’re not the type of person to back down from anything, but here you were cowering in that stinky car. We both yelled a lot.” She paused to apply mascara. “Let me tell you that man has a very dirty mouth! What is a twat, pikey, and a two finger salute anyway?”
I grinned in spite of myself. “I’m pretty sure those are bad words.”
“In that case, he did nothing but cuss at me for the first ten minutes. Anyway, he finally came out and told me that he overheard you tell me he means nothing to you.”
“What? But I never said anything like that.”
“Actually you did—you were repeating what I told you to.”
“Oh.” It all made sense. “Oh. So he thought he would show me with those women that I meant nothing to him either.”
“I guess, you would know better than I. But he was still mad that you left the bar without coming to him first. He stormed off when I suggested you two needed to talk.”
And with that my hopes climbed the emotional rollercoaster again.
****
We waited for John to come pick her up, and I wondered when Andrew would show up. Should I grab something to eat beforehand? What would I tell him when he did arrive? There was so much new information swimming around in my head it was hard to process everything.
“Marissa, what do I do?” She used my full name. I’m pretty sure I hadn’t heard her use my full name since we first met in daycare. Something was off.
“What do you mean?” I was startled out of my reverie.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been out with a man? I don’t know how to act. What do I do? What do I say?” Jocelyn’s eyes were unusually bright, as if she was holding back tears.
“Stop overthinking it. Just be yourself.”
“What if he makes a move on me?” She paced back and forth, stopping to fidget with her hair every few minutes.
“If you want it, enjoy it. But you might want to go with a different lip-gloss. That’s really sticky and men aren’t too fond of sticky,” I teased.
She stopped dead in her tracks, and her eyes looked like they would bulge out of her eye sockets. “Wh-what,” she croaked.
Okay, maybe kissing was too far. One step at a time I reminded myself and relented my teasing. “If not, then tell him it’s too soon. There’s no reason to lie or be scared.”
Knocking interrupted her manic pacing. She stood staring at the door. I motioned for her to open it. “This is your date, why would I answer the door?”
“Can we please stop calling it a date?” she cried.
“Okay, but your date is waiting for you to open the door.”
She shot me a dirty look and swung it open.
“Oh, um, hi.” She sounded surprised. I knit my brows together when she glanced back to me. She opened the door wider, and John stepped inside. Behind him, Andrew appeared in the doorway wearing a large grin on his face. Now I understood the surprised sound. I wasn’t expecting Andrew to come with her date. I thought he’d show up later after she was gone.
“Hey, Jocelyn, Marissa. Ready to go?” John held out his palm to Andrew who tossed his keys at him and were caught in one quick motion. Andrew sat on the end of the bed in the direction of the television.
I smirked when I noticed Jocelyn inconspicuously discarding the tube of lip-gloss on the table as they exited.
Andrew turned back to me. “Told you I had a plan. He’ll take good care of her. He’s not an arsehole like me.” He winked and gave me a self-deprecating smile.
“She’ll have fun,” I agreed.
“Marissa.” His voice dipped an octave. “I am terribly sorry about the past two days. I was being an arse and stubborn.”
“We both were. It was just a big misunderstanding.”
“So, what are we to do about us now?”
I sat up and crossed my legs on the comforter. I took a deep breath in preparation for our conversation. “We need to end this, Andrew.”
“Is that what you want?” He didn’t look at me; his body remained statuesque not even twitching a muscle as he spoke.
“No.” There was no
reason to lie.
“Me either.” There was a slight change in his posture as he relaxed. “Look I’d rather just let things happen. Everyone on-set is sure of what they’ve seen now, what with us both acting foolish the past two days. Nothing is going to change that. Let’s be open about it for the rest of the week. Know that I’ll accept whatever outcome you choose at the end of this week.”
“This seems really weird, and wrong.”
“I don’t care. I’d rather have you in a weird way than not at all.” He mocked my analogy of our relationship.
I stared at him. Was it likely that he could know exactly what I wanted to hear all the time? How could he continually change my mind about anything he desired?
“What is it? Did I say something to upset you?” Andrew moved closer and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “You’re scowling at me.”
“I’m sorry. It’s only that every time I think I have you figured out, you go and surprise me again. Can you possibly really feel this way about me?”
“Without a doubt,” he said not stopping a beat. Then he leaned in for a long passionate kiss. My body melted under his touch. Without a doubt, I forgot all my doubts.
We spent the evening in each other’s arms, the whole time Andrew kept stroking my hair and laying the tiniest of kisses over my upper body.
Chapter Nineteen
Andrew didn’t attempt to move from the bed when the door opened and both John and Jocelyn stepped in. Instead he buried his nose in my hair to kiss the spot behind my ear. A chill went up my spine. I must have turned several shades of red because both of them looked away, embarrassed. I wasn’t used to Andrew displaying any sort of affection toward me in front of others.
John cleared his throat. “Are you ready to go, man?”
“No, but I guess I must.” He trailed his index finger across my temple, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. His lips went to my neck and he sighed causing vibrations to run through my stomach.
Forever in Hollywood Page 17
