by Carol Lynne
“Yeah, see ya, Mr Hollywood.”
One step at a time, Brac managed to make it up the stairs without falling. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt so exhausted. He opened his bedroom door and just stood there. Sound asleep with the light on, Jessup looked like every dream Brac had ever had.
Although they hadn’t had a chance to talk much since the shooting, when it came time for Jessup to give up the fight and lay down he’d asked Brac if he could do it in his bed. Of course Brac had wanted to jump for joy and follow Jessup upstairs immediately, but he’d been forced to endure several more hours of routine police procedure.
Brac stepped out of his shorts on the way to the bathroom. If Priest was skulking around he’d just have to get an eyeful because Brac was too damn tired to care about modesty.
He turned on the water and looked at his reflection while the water heated. Although he’d only been away from Malibu for three weeks, his California tan was fading fast. It was more than that though. The man Brac saw in the mirror was nothing like the man he’d been before he’d met Jessup.
Brac turned around and climbed under the warm spray of the shower. The thought of going back to his old life held absolutely no appeal for him. Days trapped on studio lots and evenings spent at parties had been fun for the first couple of years, but even the parties had become a hated part of his job.
Soaping up, he began to wonder whether or not he could really make a home in Cattle Valley, more importantly, a home with Jessup. They still had so many things to work out between them. Jessup’s aversion to being touched was the biggest obstacle still in their path.
Brac did a quick rinse before turning off the water. He grabbed the closest towel and dried off before dropping it in the hamper on his way out of the bathroom.
After shutting the bedroom door securely, Brac lifted the sheet and slid in beside Jessup. Even lying next to the man felt right.
“You okay?” Jessup asked.
Brac carefully thought the question through before answering. “I don’t know. I hope so.” He rolled to his side. “I keep wondering whether or not I would’ve had the balls to pull the trigger.”
“No use thinking about it. The moment’s passed so your answer wouldn’t be accurate anyway. All that matters is what you choose at the moment. Before that or after that is all just speculation.” Jessup stretched out his arm and tapped Brac’s shoulder. “Scoot closer.”
Inch by inch, Brac eased his way towards Jessup. “Tell me when.”
“All the way,” Jessup said, hauling Brac against him. He turned on his good side to face Brac. “I nearly dropped to my knees when I found out how close I’d come to losing you.” He rested his palm against the side of Brac’s face, tracing the shell of Brac’s ear with his ring finger. “I don’t know if what I feel is love, but I know I’d give my life ten times over to save yours.”
“Maybe I’m just being selfish, but I choose to believe that’s exactly what it is.” Brac moved close enough for his cock to line up with Jessup’s. “Did Priest tell you he made me list the reasons why I love you?”
“No.” Jessup thrust his hips forward. “I won’t make you list the reasons since I probably wouldn’t believe them anyway, but you could tell me again that you love me.”
“I love you, Al Jessup,” Brac whispered. “And I’m going to say it every day until you start to believe it.”
“Priest told you about my mother, didn’t he?”
“Yeah. But what I don’t understand is how you could’ve let the actions of one woman convince you that you were unlovable.”
“It wasn’t one.” Jessup slid his hand down Brac’s neck to his hip. “I didn’t even know about my birth mother until my first foster mother told me.”
“Why would she do that?” Brac couldn’t imagine a woman being so cruel as to tell a child something like that.
Jessup leant forward and buried his face against Brac’s neck. “Mrs Gibbs was the first foster mother I remember having. I’m not sure if she took me in right away or not. I always knew she wasn’t my mother, she made that fact very clear on a number of occasions.”
“Bitch,” Brac grumbled.
“Yeah, she was, but she was the only thing I had. She had this collection of pretty glass ballerinas. Each one of them was just different enough to make them interesting. I used to sit for hours and look at them through the display case she kept them in.”
Brac had a sinking feeling he knew where the story was going. He held his breath and hoped he was wrong.
“I knew I wasn’t supposed to touch them, but one day I just couldn’t resist. The other kids had gone to the pool but I had an ear infection so Mrs Gibbs wouldn’t let me go. I remember being mad. I don’t think that’s why I disobeyed, but it was a long time ago, so maybe I’m not remembering it right.”
“How old were you?” Brac asked.
“Five.” Jessup pulled back and stared into Brac’s eyes. “I broke one of the ballerinas when I tried to pick it up. It fell over and her little crown broke off. I was so scared I took her out of the case and ran up to the bedroom I shared with two other boys. Later that evening Mrs Gibbs discovered the missing ballerina and knew immediately who’d taken it.”
Jessup stopped to clear his throat. “She found me up in my room hiding under the bed still holding the figurine. I remember her pulling me out by my hair and screaming at me as she tied me to the timeout chair in the closet. She told me what my mother had done and that if I weren’t so damn big she’d do the same thing to me for daring to break something that didn’t belong to me.” Jessup shrugged. “I was sent to a different home the next day.”
“And by then the damage had been done,” Brac surmised. The pieces of Jessup’s personality clicked into place. “Whether she deserved it or not, you probably loved her. And not only did she restrain you, but she didn’t show you an ounce of loyalty in return for your trust and love.”
“Like I said, it was a long time ago. I must’ve gone through ten homes after that, some okay, some bad.”
“I wish I knew how to take away your pain, but I don’t. All I can do is fight like hell to replace those bad memories with good ones.”
Jessup moved his hand to cup one of Brac’s ass cheeks. “How’re you gonna manage that?”
Brac rolled away from Jessup and opened the bedside drawer. He removed a condom and bottle of lube before holding them out to the man he loved. “By asking you to fuck me by whatever means you feel comfortable.”
Jessup took the supplies and set them between them. “We’ve been through a lot since that day by the pond. I’d like to try again, if you’re willing.”
Brac smiled. “I’m a big believer in practice makes perfect, but I shouldn’t have asked. I got caught up in the moment, but the minute you’re feeling better, I’m gonna be all over you.”
Jessup held up the bottle of lube. “Then why don’t you do me?”
Floored by the request, Brac didn’t know what to say. He knew how much courage it had taken Jessup to offer. “You really do trust me.”
“Yeah, it seems I do.”
Brac tried to figure out how he could make love to Jessup without putting his weight on him. He finally came to the conclusion that there was simply no way without risking possible injury to Jessup’s healing body. “Would you settle for a blowjob?”
“I would never consider a blowjob from you settling.” Jessup brushed Brac’s hair out of his face. “Are you not used to topping?”
Brac couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ve probably topped twice as much as I’ve bottomed, so that’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
Leaning in, Brac gave Jessup a deep kiss. It was long enough to get them both worked up without overexerting Jessup. Pulling back, he rubbed his nose against Jessup’s. “I want our first time to be full throttle, I guess. It’s been less than a week since you were shot.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why? If anyone should be sorry it shou
ld be me. I’m the one Curtis was after. Besides, maybe if I hold out on you, you’ll decide to keep me around longer.”
“And what about your career? Surely you can’t put Hal off indefinitely.”
“Maybe not indefinitely, but right now this is where I want to be.” Brac moaned when he felt Jessup wrap a hand around both of their cocks.
“Any idea how long you’ll be staying?” Jessup asked as he stroked their cocks.
“Mmmm, that depends. Do you know of any houses for sale in Cattle Valley?”
“Never really looked for a house, but I’m sure you could find something. Are you sure you want to move that far away from Hollywood though?”
“Right now I have absolutely no plans to do another series. I’d like to find a movie I can get behind and feel passionate about, but regardless, I’ve had my fill of living life in the fast lane.”
When Jessup’s rhythm picked up, Brac couldn’t help himself. He reached between them and gathered some of their combined pre-cum on the tips of his fingers. He pressed his middle finger against the centre of Jessup’s lips and watched as it was immediately sucked inside. “Taste good?”
Jessup nodded, lapping at Brac’s ring finger. “I don’t think I’ve ever taken the time to play like this in bed.”
“I hope you can trust me enough to try all kinds of things you’ve never done before.” Brac could think of several things he’d like to try with Jessup. “You know you’re not the only one who’s had to watch himself. It was different with Randal because I believed in him. But with every single lay after that I woke up the next morning wondering whether my performance would be rated on a scale of one to ten on page one of the gossip rags.”
“At least you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I never kiss and tell.” Jessup pressed his thumb against the slit on Brac’s crown. “You close? Because my arm’s wearing out.”
“Then stop talking and let me enjoy the moment.”
Jessup opened his mouth but quickly snapped it shut.
Damn, although it had taken Brac a while to get Jessup to talk to him, it was amazing how fast the man became a chatterbox. It was obvious the day’s events had taken their toll on both of them. Normally the touch of Jessup’s hand would set Brac off like a rocket, but he just couldn’t get there. Throwing back the covers, Brac sat up. “Save your arm, I’ll take over from here. I think that big cock of yours needs some extra attention.”
Jessup released Brac’s cock. “Swing your ass around here so I can take care of you, too.”
Never one to turn down a blowjob, Brac removed the pillow from under Jessup’s head and straddled the man’s gorgeous face. Before leaning over him, Brac brushed Jessup’s forehead with his cock. “You sure this won’t bother you? I don’t plan to lay on you, so that might help.”
Jessup gave Brac’s ass a playful swat. “I’m game. What’s the worst that can happen?”
Although Jessup said it in a teasing manner, Brac knew they both were a bit worried. “Just don’t bite my dick off.”
“That, I can promise you.”
Brac braced his hands beside Jessup’s hips and slowly lowered himself over the man he loved. He took several moments to visually study the perfect cock lying hard against Jessup’s stomach. Darker than the rest of him, Jessup’s cock truly was a masterpiece of creation. Brac had always been a vein man. There was just something about those long plump lines travelling up the length of a cock that fuelled his fire, and Jessup had more than the average man. But, of course, Jessup was far from average. With a firm grip on the root, he used the tip of his tongue to follow the biggest vein from the base of Jessup’s cock to the crown.
Jessup stroked Brac’s cock several times, spreading the pre-cum down his length. Brac expected to feel the warmth of Jessup’s mouth on his cock so was quite surprised when Jessup separated Brac’s butt cheeks and licked a path to Brac’s hole.
“Ahhh, fuck!” Jessup had found Brac’s sweet spot. Brac glanced over his shoulder. “Don’t hurt yourself. The last thing I want is you back in the hospital.”
“Stop nagging and start enjoying,” Jessup ordered.
”Well, in that case I only have one word to say to you. More,” he begged.
After a soft chuckle, Jessup’s tongue began paying particular attention to the puckered skin surrounding Brac’s hole.
Not wanting to be outdone, Brac sucked the crown of Jessup’s cock into his mouth. He teased the slit with the tip of his tongue, encouraging the constant flow of pre-cum as he reached down to massage Jessup’s balls.
“Where’d that lube go?” Jessup asked, searching the bed beside Brac’s hand.
Brac reached over to aid in the search, finally coming up with it. He handed it back without ever taking his mouth off Jessup’s cock. Working Jessup’s dick further down his throat, he hummed at the breach of Jessup’s lubed finger into his ass.
“I want in here,” Jessup growled, burying his finger as deep as it could go.
Brac released Jessup’s cock. “I may be mistaken, but I think you’re in,” he said before engulfing Jessup’s cock again.
Jessup bit Brac’s cheek. “Stop sucking so I can fuck you.”
Brac stilled. “I thought we agreed you weren’t physically up to making love.”
“Yeah, well, my cock disagrees.” Jessup added another finger.
It had been a while since Brac had been fucked, but his body opened for Jessup as if by magic. Hell, even his ass knew he was meant to be with Jessup. Like he’d done earlier, Brac ran through the possible positions that could give them both what they wanted while still protecting Jessup’s healing wound.
After a quick search, he came up with the condom and tore open the wrapper. Jessup’s third finger felt so good, Brac took his time rolling the condom down Jessup’s length. “Pass me the lube.”
The bottle tapped against his arm, and Brac reached around to grab it. A few drops was all he needed to prepare Jessup’s sheathed cock. With his ass more than ready, Brac carefully climbed off Jessup. “I think I’ve figured out a way, but I need you to be honest with me. If you start to feel panicky, tell me.”
“All I’m feeling right now is horny.”
“Good, keep that thought going.” Facing Jessup’s feet, Brac insinuated his calves under Jessup’s thighs. “Okay with this?”
“Yes, just do it and stop worrying about me.”
Brac glanced over his shoulder. He’d have rather faced Jessup, but there was plenty of time for that once his man healed. “I’ll always worry about you.”
Jessup smiled and held his cock by the base, giving Brac what he needed. “I believe you,” Jessup whispered.
Brac backed himself up until he felt the touch of Jessup’s cockhead against his stretched hole. There was something so open and honest in Jessup’s expression that Brac had no doubt the man had meant what he’d said. Relaxing his body, Brac lowered himself onto Jessup’s length. The width of Jessup’s cock was more than he was used to, but once again, his body seemed to understand and make accommodations for Jessup’s girth.
He slowly rocked back and forth until he sat on Jessup’s groin. Jessup tapped Brac’s hip, telling him without words that he needed Brac to move. Perhaps Jessup felt a niggle of panic or the heat of desire. Either way, Brac was more than willing to comply.
With one hand braced on his thigh and the other wrapped around his cock, Brac began to move. Each slide of Jessup’s cock in and out of his ass prompted a moan. As good as it felt, he had no doubt a full-out fucking would send him straight to the stars.
“Feels so good,” Jessup moaned. “Better than ever.”
Brac couldn’t agree more. He reached under his swinging balls and felt his hole wrapped around Jessup’s cock. The skin seemed to be stretched beyond reason, making Brac even hornier. “Bear with me a sec,” he told Jessup.
In a quick change of position, Brac squatted over Jessup with his feet planted on either side of Jessup’s hips. He impaled himself once again and
used the strength in his legs to bounce up and down on Jessup’s dick.
“Yeah, that’s it,” Jessup encouraged.
“Oh, that’s more than it,” Brac fired back, his balls drawing up. “Gonna come.”
“Hell yeah.” Jessup gripped Brac’s hips and began thrusting upwards.
With no time to worry about his lover’s wound, Brac came in a rush, spraying Jessup’s leg with the first strand of seed.
Jessup grunted and slammed deep into Brac’s ass.
Brac released his cock and braced his hands on the mattress. His legs were beginning to shake, but he held on long enough for Jessup to finish. When he felt Jessup’s body relax under him, Brac fell to the side, dislodging Jessup’s cock.
He barely managed to turn himself around and lay at Jessup’s side before collapsing again. “Fuck,” he sighed.
A car engine starting outside the window brought Brac upright. “What’s that?”
Jessup groaned and reached down to remove the soiled condom. “Priest’s leaving,” he mumbled, tossing the tied condom to the floor.
“What?” Brac jumped out of bed and ran to the window just in time to see the last of a set of taillights before they disappeared into the trees. “Where’s he going? He didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Priest never says goodbye.” Jessup ran his hand through his hair. “Come back to bed.”
“In a minute.” With a heavy heart, Brac went to the bathroom to clean up. As he ran warm water over a wash cloth, he thought of the man who’d saved his life only hours earlier. After cleaning up, Brac carried the warm cloth to the bedroom. “You think he’ll be back?”
“Someday.”
Brac cleaned Jessup’s cock before throwing the cloth on the floor. “Doesn’t it piss you off that he just left like that?”
Jessup drew Brac against his side and kissed him. “He runs away when he starts to feel something. It’s always been that way with him. I watched him earlier, right after the shooting. Normally he kills on command without a backwards glance, but when he walked into the house with you tucked under his arm, I could tell the shooting had taken its toll.”
