by Primula Bond
I giggle at his perfect imitation of her Eastern European accent. One hand wipes the soap off him, the other hand is fondling his stiffness, making it grow thicker, longer, making it harder, making it push and throb, searching for release.
‘She likes to show me every little bit. Her cunt. Her labia. All the time she tells me what she wants. I think she’s forgotten she’s supposed to be helping me. And yes, I get turned on, any man would, and yes, it’s a relief to know my responses are normal, as the medics say. But I’ve known that for – I’ve known that for a while now.’
‘How long? How long have you known that?’
My hand moves faster, faster, Pierre Levi is breathing heavily now. His hands come up as if to stop me, drop down again, start tugging at his pyjama jacket.
‘God, you’re wicked, Rosie. I don’t know if this is right, I’m not strong enough to stop you, even if I wanted to. What if Nurse Jeannie comes in?’
‘Just doing my job.’ I murmur, bringing my other hand into play now, massaging his balls, which are shrinking up into his body as the pleasure mounts. ‘So go on with the story.’
He groans. ‘One time she did the stripping thing and then she started gyrating in front of me like a lap dancer. She’s bloody good at it, and I should know. I’ve hired enough of them. In fact I would put money on her having worked as a stripper for real, maybe to earn money while she was training. Anyway she danced up to me, took my hands and put them on her bare buttocks, guiding them all over her to fondle her. It was the first time I’d touched a naked woman since –’
‘Since June?’
He nods, panting a little now.
‘She had her back to me, I was in the chair, I’m usually in the wheelchair for these sessions, it makes me feel less, you know, useless and helpless, and she lowered herself on to me. I was hard by then, Rosie, like I am now, and oh God, what are you doing?’
‘Keep talking.’ I’m nearly there. He’s bucking as I pull at him, up, down, the little bead glistening at the end. My gorgeous victim is biting his lip, groaning, covering his mouth to smother the sound.
‘Somehow she got my cock out of my PJs, I’m lying, I wasn’t as hard as this, not as hard as, oh, God, Rosie, stop, no, don’t stop, please, OK, she was like a gymnast on a beam, you know, because I was in the chair, so she had to grip the arms and balance on her high heels and I pushed myself between her white butt cheeks, her legs were spread so as not to put any weight on my sore legs, oh, she’s very flexible, you know, and then –’
I imagine myself, just for a moment, as Dr Venska. Rejoicing as this thick, pulsing shaft pushes up inside me. My pussy is wet now, my knickers sticky with desire, the remembered sensation of a man’s cock, thrusting with lust, hot for me, throbbing as he’s about to fuck me.
‘You broke the rule, Mr Levi. Professional and patient. You shouldn’t have done that,’ I growl, my hand working roughly on him now, enjoying the waves of pleasure crossing his face, his mouth half open, his tongue grazing his teeth. ‘You should be punished.’
‘Punish me all you like. Please punish me, just like that!’ He gasps for breath, half laugh, half groan. ‘She broke the rule. That’s the way it works. But who cares? I was inside her. I was inside a woman again, Rosie. Do you know how much I’ve longed for that? To fuck a woman again? Which bit, pussy or ass, couldn’t tell, maybe Venska thinks if it’s up the ass it doesn’t count, fuck professional ethics. I didn’t care, I don’t care, go on, Rosie, do it, I wish I was inside you, you’re so lovely, you’re so, oh, yes, go on, oh, God!’
‘How long, Pierre? How long have your responses been normal?’
‘Since you walked into this room, Rosie. It’s you who brought me back to life. It’s you.’
My hand is a blur, moving so fast as he raves nonsense, shakes, starts to come, bucking against the sheet, and then his spunk is shooting across the white sheet and he’s shuddering, his groans turning into sobs, and he’s running one hand over his face as if to hide it, and grabbing at the sheet with the other.
‘Just let me sort you out,’ I murmur, wiping him tenderly, resisting another overwhelming urge to bend down and suck it clean. ‘Don’t want Nurse Jeannie saying I didn’t do my job properly.’
His head thrashes on the pillow, slowing gradually as I dab the towel over his subsiding erection and pull up his trousers.
He peers through his fingers as I draw the sheet over him.
‘What just happened, Rosie? What did I just say?’
I tidy up the bottles and lotions, walk as calmly as I can to the bathroom to tip the water away, catch sight of myself again, in his bathroom. Flushed face, like before. Hair coming loose from the curls. Huge brown eyes, gleaming with delight at what I’ve just done. What he’s just said.
And this time a big, dirty grin. I’ve erased Dr Venska and her influence, at least for the moment.
I come out of the bathroom, tidy the room as another thought strikes me.
‘Is any of that true?’
‘Take a wild guess. You wanted a story, didn’t you?’
He’s calmed down, returned to his sardonic, controlled self. But the flush in his cheeks is still there, the smile playing around his lips.
I pick up the damp towel and cloths and move towards the door, my juice-soaked knickers caught high up between my legs.
‘Why did you reject her then, Mr Levi? Why did you say no?’
‘Because she’s not the one I want.’
CHAPTER FOUR
We’re into late August now. I’m just about to start the mid-morning tea when Nurse Jeannie comes rushing out of room 202, leaving the door open as she gabbles into her phone.
‘I’ve got to get home. My mother’s had a fall. Rosa, you’ll have to chaperone Mr Levi today.’My whole body flushes and prickles with alarm and excitement.
‘Really? But I’m due to clock off!’
‘I appreciate that you’re tired, Rosa, but as one of the youngest and fittest members of staff I’d like you to make an exception today.’ Nurse Jeannie puts her hand over the phone. ‘To be honest, I thought you’d be pleased!’
‘I am! Or I would be if I hadn’t just been on duty all night,’ I squeal, lifting a pile of saucers. ‘But I thought you were keeping us apart, Nurse Jeannie. I haven’t had a shift on this ward since –’
‘I was acting on reports from Dr Venska.’
I drop the saucers on to the trolley with an unholy clatter. If anyone was sleeping in, they’ll be wide awake now.
‘Reports? I can give you reports! Do you have any idea what she’s been doing to him?’
Nurse Jeannie mutters a goodbye into her phone and hangs up. She turns to me, her face severe.
‘I’m not taking sides, Rosa. There have been, let’s say, allegations of untoward behaviour. Investigations are in hand. Meanwhile Dr Venska has some leave owing.’ She sighs, and puts her hand on my arm. ‘Look, sweetheart. I know who I’m inclined to believe, but I have to take the correct steps. The point has been made. Now let’s concentrate on today. It’s a family function, but professional standards must remain in place, even when we’re off the premises. So you’re not going as Mr Levi’s friend. Your job is to provide discreet assistance without making him feel like an invalid. Transport him safely there and back.’
‘Frankly I’m amazed Mr Levi’s up to going anywhere today,’ I remark as calmly as I can. ‘He was in terrible pain at 4 a.m.’
‘How do you know that?’ Nurse Jeannie asks, slipping her phone back in her pocket. ‘I’ll check his notes before I go, but he didn’t mention anything about being distressed in the night.’
‘He was barely conscious, but I heard him calling out. I think maybe it was a nightmare. I got the on-call to give him some meds.’ I pull down my uniform, feel it clinging to my hot skin. ‘I doubt he’ll remember I was there.’
Why did I have to go and mention that little episode? She’s observing me closely enough as it is.
There was no one else on this s
tretch of the ward at 4 a.m. when I saw the red light flashing above his door. I pressed the bleeper for the doctor, but until he arrived it was up to me to investigate. Pierre could have had a fall, or some kind of fit. But when I went into the darkened room, tiptoed over to the bed, he was safely under the covers, lying very still.
I reached over him to deactivate the alarm button and his hand came up and caught my arm.
‘Serena. I can’t do it,’ he murmured, his fingers tight and warm on my skin. ‘I can’t stand there and watch you getting married today.’
I glanced at the door, willing the doctor to hurry up.
‘It’s Rosa here, Mr Levi. Rosie. Not Serena.’
I looked down at him. Those black eyes were open and staring at me, glittering in the slice of light from the doorway, and as we looked at each other the despair in his eyes cleared.
‘Rosie. Yes. Thank God it’s you. Where have you been? They wouldn’t let me see you.’
He blinked slowly, and a tear eased its way over his lower eyelid, sticking for a moment to those black eyelashes, and trickled down his cheek.
‘They’ve put me on different shifts, that’s all. What do you mean, you can’t do it? Is the pain very bad?’ I asked, resting my hands on this chest. ‘I’m sure they’ll let you miss this wedding if you need to.’
‘I can’t miss it. I gave Gustav my word. But Rosie. It’s going to be so painful.’
He closed his eyes and rocked his head, back and forth across the white pillow. He was still gripping my arm, but he didn’t say anything else until the doctor arrived and I slipped away.
‘I think he does remember, Rosa,’ Nurse Jeannie is saying to me now. ‘Because he’s asked for you.’
I tip sugar cubes into individual bowls. My hand is shaking. The same hand that held that precious part of him so tightly not long ago. So he meant what he said in the dark watches of the night.
Thank God it’s you.
‘And even if he hadn’t requested you, I’m allocating the job to you because I think you’ll be brilliant and you deserve a break. You’ve looked a bit down recently.’
‘That’s because you changed my entire rota without warning. I feel belittled, Nurse Jeannie. Whatever that woman says is a lie.’
‘She says you are getting too close to a certain patient, which I did warn you about. I had to follow the protocol. You are still a little, how can I put this, inexperienced, Rosa, but ultimately I have every faith in you. Every day you are becoming more accomplished. We just need to make sure that all the care and attention you give our clients is – appropriate.’ She takes the sugar bowls off me and puts them on their individual trays. ‘So to prove how much I, we, value your work, I’ll give you three days off in lieu if you go with Mr Levi today.’
She smiles at me. I smile back.
‘No need to bribe me, Nurse Jeannie.’ I start to panic. ‘But I can’t go. I’ve nothing to wear for a smart wedding!’
‘That’s simple. Mr Levi’s provided something.’
Nurse Jeannie reaches into a cupboard and brings out a new garment crackling in cellophane.
‘We all think Mr Levi shouldn’t be going to all this effort, but his brother wants him to be best man and he’s determined to step up. The doctors have only agreed if he has someone by his side.’
‘Couldn’t someone in his own family accompany him?’
I pull the dress off the hanger. It’s a mulberry-coloured flapper shift in raw silk, heavily beaded, with a matching coat. Nurse Jeannie hands me a pair of burgundy strappy sandals.
‘Until he is formally discharged the insurance will only cover a representative from this clinic,’ Jeannie says, punching another number into her mobile. ‘It means the world to him to get to this wedding. We all want him to have a happy day.’
Nurse Jeannie beckons me into the changing room, holds the dress while I get out of my uniform and zips me into it, drapes the silk coat over my shoulders. Then she swivels me in front of the mirror to dab on eye shadow and lipstick.
‘Let’s leave your hair loose today. My God, look at it. These waves flowing like black treacle.’ She puts in one single grip to fix the long fringe out of my eyes. Her fingers linger, stroking over my bare shoulders, down my back, making my scalp prickle.
‘I wish I was going with you,’ she whispers, pressing her cheek against mine and staring at our joined reflection. ‘I wish you were mine to show you off.’
‘Nurse Jeannie?’ I try to turn without obviously pushing her off, but she puts her hands on either side of my head and keeps me still.
‘Look at you. You’re beautiful. The butterfly emerging from her chrysalis. I always knew you were gorgeous.’
‘So does this mean I can go back to my old shifts?’
She stares at me a moment longer, strokes my cheeks.
‘I was harsh, I know. But Dr Venska wasn’t the only one who thought you were getting in too deep. Too attached. But we all do it. Even me.’ She pulls her fingers away as if I’ve burned her. ‘Oh, God, Rosie, be off with you. Pierre Levi needs you.’
* * *
In room 202 Pierre Levi is standing with his back to the door. He is dressed in a tailed black morning coat and pin-striped trousers. His thick hair has been cut and it’s standing up over his head in cool spikes, brushed and glossy. But he is listing to one side on one crutch, cursing under his breath, trying to do up his tie.
‘Here. Let me help.’
‘What kind of help do you have in mind this time, Rosie? Some more naughty tricks with those magic hands of yours?’ He turns. ‘I think I said something outrageous about you the last time you were, you know. Listening to my Venska fantasy.’
The distraught man I saw last night, flattened on the pillow and weeping with pain, has been replaced by an upright, smartly dressed dreamboat. His face is strained with traces of his nightmare, but the summer days sitting out in the sun have tanned his skin, enhancing his black eyes. He’s had a shave, and he smells of lemons.
‘What exactly did you say?’
I wish I was inside you.
‘I can’t remember. I just have a feeling. Christ! Look at you! The little duckling has turned into a swan!’ His mouth drops open as his eyes rake over me, over the expensive fabric, up to my hair, the slick of lipstick. ‘You are an absolute vision, Cavalieri. Who knew?’
He lifts his hand but as I’m about to question him further about his apparent lack of memory the laughter fades into a groan as he puts too much weight on his leg.
‘Nurse Jeannie, apparently. Come on. Let’s sit you down, for goodness sake. What are you doing trying to stand?’
‘I need to stand up in church today.’
‘Even so. Enough’s enough.’ I reach over and pull the wheelchair closer so that he can sit down again. Then I pull the visitor’s chair up and lean closer to fumble with his silver tie.
‘I’ve missed you, Rosie. They’ve been keeping us apart. What are we supposed to have done?’
‘Blame it on Dr Venska. She’s been telling tales.’
He grabs my hand to stop me fiddling for a moment. ‘You think she’s been spying at keyholes? You think she saw us, saw you, you know, oh, God, Rosie, you with your little fingers, doing that to me, a lonely old man, fuck, it was so good!’
A rush of desire spreads through me at the catch in his voice, the remembered pleasure I gave him. He stares at me, and I stare back at him until he drops his hand and lets me continue flipping the ends of the tie over each other.
‘Nurse Jeannie knows something happened. We can’t do it again, Mr Levi.’
‘Do what? We can deny it!’
‘Can’t deny what happened between you and Dr Venska, though, can we?’
‘Nothing to deny.’ Pierre Levi catches hold of my hands. ‘My God, signorina. I know that prickly tone. I’ve heard it often enough in other women.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means that you’re jealous!’
‘No. You’re wr
ong. I couldn’t care less what went on.’ My fingers are shaking. I stop with the tie.
‘You are a useless liar, Rosie. Why fight it?’
‘What’s to fight? Are you saying something did go on between you? All that stuff about her seducing you? Pole dancing? Sitting on your prick?’
‘Ooh, give it to me straight, sister, why don’t you!’ He taps his teeth with his tongue, shaking his head. ‘Our deal is to tell stories, remember?’
‘But the one I told you, about Daniele and the sous chef, that was all true!’
He puts his finger under my chin to stop me twisting away.
‘Fantasy. Fiction. Who cares if it’s true, so long as it does the trick?’ He waggles the two ends of the tie at me to finish it. ‘Say something, Rosie. Is my diagnosis correct? Are you jealous? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?’
My fingers slip on the smooth silk of his tie and get stuck in the knot.
‘I told you. They put me on different shifts. I’ve been busy with the other clients.’
‘Well, you can’t avoid me now. We’ve spending all day together.’
‘I’m accompanying you to this wedding as your carer, Mr Levi.’ I stare at his Adam’s apple, the pulse going in his neck, resisting the urge to press my lips there and kiss it. ‘I’m not allowed to make it personal.’
‘Too late for that. Your eyes say different, Rosie. Your pupils are dilated, and you’re all flushed. And as for what sitting here, inches away from you, from that lovely mouth of yours, that gorgeous bod in your lovely tight dress, is doing to me –’ he says, lifting his chin slightly as I pull at the knot. ‘But enough teasing. Let’s call a truce. Though I’m not sure what we’re fighting about.’
The knot is a taut arrowhead. I give it a pat, as if he’s a little boy starting school, and look him over as if he’s a prize exhibit. I sigh as carelessly as I can.
‘I don’t want to fight, either. I’m just trying to obey the rules.’
‘Like the good girl you are. And I’d love to know what else you’re good at.’
The door is still open, and footsteps are approaching.
