by Lisa Shelby
“She would be so proud of you, Jonathan.”
He looks a little embarrassed at my compliment and I can’t help but think how cute he is all embarrassed like this. It’s nice to see him blush for a change, instead of me.
“Thanks, but I think she’d be more proud that I got my degree. I had gone to two years of community college before joining the Corps and then two years at PSU while working the road with Portland PD. So, I’ve been with the department for four years. The first two were crazy with school and work, but I got through it.”
“I’m so happy for you, Georgia! Degree, check! Job, check! House, check! You are checkin’ off all those life goals! Good for you and you’re right. Your mom would be proud of you for getting your degree.”
My phone buzzes and I glance down. It’s a number I don’t recognize. I don’t answer it and let it go to voicemail.
“You can get that if you need to.”
“It’s an unknown number, so it’s okay. Probably just a misdial.”
“So, what’s it like to have Mickey Jacobs as your big brother?”
With that a light conversation starts and just like the old days we talk and talk and talk. I feel like I’m with the old Jonathan, minus a little bit of that light he had about him. I understand why that is now. I would love to have the magic wand that could change it all and add that light back to his beautiful, yet somber eyes of his. His light may be gone, but he’s still just as attractive as ever. He still has that natural tan about him, and his short dark hair is a little longer now that he isn’t sporting a military length. He’s still in great shape, if not a little bigger. More built. He is a fine specimen, no doubt.
After some time, Frances starts to pant and Jonathan picks up her water bowl and excuses himself to go get her some more water.
While he’s inside, I decide to check the voicemail of the unknown number and wish I hadn’t. A voice I haven’t heard in years fills my ears. Just as the message is ending, Jonathan is back and sitting across from me. He must be able to tell that the call has disturbed me because as soon as I put the phone down on the table he takes my hand in his.
“Em, you okay?”
The gentle touch of his hand is enough to calm me.
“It was my dad.” I can hear the shake in my voice as I continue, “I haven’t talked to him in years. He found out I moved back home and he wants to get together.”
“What do you want?”
“I don’t know, Jonathan. I just haven’t been able to forgive him yet. Not only did he make my entire childhood a lie, but he just quit being our dad once he had a new family. I know I am twenty-six now and not that pre-teen kid he left but it’s a little late for me,” I say with a shrug.
With those soul piercing hazel eyes of his, he makes sure he has my attention when he says, “Emily, you wait until you’re ready. I do think that one day you’ll probably need to see him and tell him how you feel and maybe let him explain, but do it when you’re ready and do it for yourself. One thing I’ve learned is that life is short, Em. You never know from one day to the next what might happen.”
“Jonathan, I heard about Matt…I am so sorry for your loss.” I blurt out as I grip on to his hand even tighter to let him know that if he wants to talk, I’m here.
“Thanks, Em. Let’s save that for another time though. Right now you and I are getting to know each other again and we’re talking about you and your dad.”
“You know what, can we not talk about my dad? I am sure you already know all about him. In fact, I’m sure you’ve met him if you hang around Kells.”
“Shit, that’s right. Mick being your brother means that Michael Jacobs Sr. is your dad. Could this world get any smaller? Em, I do know your dad. It’s not from Kells though. My first year on the road I pulled him over for a DUII. At the time, I had no idea who he was and then later I found out he was Mick’s dad. After that, Mick has made sure he doesn’t get to keep a rolling tab at Kells anymore. He hasn’t really been seen around much since then. I was pretty new at the time and hadn’t really started hanging out with the guys so I never saw your dad out and about. Only the time I arrested him. Sorry, Em. Not exactly the kind of catching up I had hoped to do with you today.”
“That’s okay, really it is. I feel so detached from him that I really don’t feel much when you tell me he got a DUII. I’m just grateful you were able to get him off the road before he hurt somebody or himself. So, thank you, Jonathan. Sincerely.”
“Still, I’m sorry about things with your dad, Em.”
I must change the subject! This is getting too depressing
“So, do you like being a police officer?”
“I do. It’s not always the most fun, but I love to help people and I feel like I can actually make a difference in people’s lives.”
“I know I grew up around it, and my brother does it too but I just don’t know how you guys do it. You go to work every day knowing that people hate you even though you’re the first person they call when they need help. It just infuriates me.”
“Well, at least I don’t work at the DMV or for the cable company. Talk about people who go to work every day knowing they’re hated,” he says with a wink.
“Seriously, Jonathan…do you ever get scared?”
“I think I recall you asking me this question once before and just like then I’ll tell you the truth…not really. We’re trained to do our jobs and do them well. I trust the officers I work with to have my back and to make sure that we all go home to our loved ones at night. For me that may not be a wife and kids but I know Frances is home waiting on me. I can’t let her down now, can I?”
I know he’s trying to keep things light hearted but it isn’t funny to me. He can tell so he tries a different approach.
“Em, my safety and the safety of the citizens and my fellow police officers is all that is on my mind out there. I know your brother is the same way. You don’t have to worry about us, but it’s very sweet that you do.”
“Oh my gosh! I didn’t even think about your sleep when I picked 9:30 to meet. Did you work night shift last night and you lost sleep to have coffee with me?”
“I did work last night but it was my Friday so I’ll catch up later. Don’t worry. Sacrificing a few hours of sleep to spend time with you and Frances is worth it.”
“So, are you working four days a week, ten hours a day or are you one of those guys that works three twelves?”
“I’m lucky enough to work three twelves. It’s really twelve and a half hour shifts, and then once a month you work an extra day to make up the difference. It makes for long days but it’s really nice to have four day weekends. So, I’m a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday guy. Doesn’t Mick work Wednesday, Thursday, Friday? We work different precincts so I don’t see him much, but we both lucked out and get part of the weekends off. Anyway, boring stuff, but at least you know when I am around if you want to get coffee again. What about you?”
“Me?”
“Your schedule?”
“Ha, oh that. At the moment I don’t have much of a schedule, but school will be starting next week. I’ll be a Teacher’s Aide in the Special Education class for one of the high schools in the district. That’s only part time though. I’m also going to school to get my Masters in Special Education.”
“Is that why you moved in with Mick?”
“That would be it. Ugh…I just couldn’t afford California anymore. If I want to go to school and try to get it done in 20 months, I need to work part time and not to mention I…well, anyway. It’s just a lot and Mickey was nice enough to offer his place up. So, I finally sucked up my pride and did it. My mom offered too, but she’s in a two-bedroom apartment and I don’t want to invade her space. Mick’s place is bigger and he’s rarely home. It won’t be forever.”
“Sounds like a good plan. I’m proud of you, Em.” He says with a lingering stare.
To break the stare, I pick up my phone and see the time and realize I have to go.
�
��Sorry, I have to get going but it was so nice catching up.” As I bend down to give Frances some love I say, “And meeting this pretty little lady.”
“It was really nice, Emily. I’d love to do it again sometime.”
“Well, I’m sure that we’ll bump into each other around town and maybe coffee again will work out sometime. I’ll have to see what my schedule is like once my job and classes get started.”
I turn to leave and take the few steps to the curb where Justine is parked and I turn back to see him watching me go. I step off the curb, and holding open her driver’s side door I yell to Jonathan, “Justine!”
“Who’s Justine, Em?”
That look of confusion on his face is pretty cute, I must say, but not as earth-shattering as the smile I get when I say, “You’re lookin’ at her. You once told me that you always name your cars and your guns. Well, I don’t own a gun, but I do have a car that I have loved for years and since it’s pretty obvious she’s a girl…I couldn’t name her Justin, so I went with Justine.”
Now that I’ve backed out of the awkward little parking lot that Elka’s is in and away from the handsome smiling man and his darling dog, I let the smile I’ve been holding back spread across my face. I let out a little shriek of delight at the fact that I had the last word and that it got the reaction that it did. It was like I had given him some sort of gift with just the simple fact I remembered something from the time we were once together. That I had actually listened to him and acted on it. The fact of the matter is the joy on his face was gift enough to last me until Christmas.
On my drive to the house I call Cami on my Bluetooth and tell her we have to talk, and like the best friend she is she says she’ll meet me at my place in five!
Cami shows up just after I do and when she walks in she looks around and asks, “Are we the only ones here?”
“Yep!”
“Spill it, chica!”
“Oh my God it was so great Cam! At the very beginning it was really awkward but then it felt like old times. Just like before. We were so comfortable with each other that we just talked and talked. The most important thing Cam…he doesn’t hate me.”
Just as my eyes start to swell with tears she grabs my hand and I repeat. “He doesn’t hate me, Cam. He actually said he’d like to get together for coffee again.”
“There isn’t anybody on this planet that could hate you. You are the best person I know, and from what I remember Jonathan is a pretty smart guy, so of course he doesn’t hate you.”
“Now what?”
“Give him a chance, Em. Tell him.”
“I know and I have nothing to hide. I am proud of everything that’s happened in the last five years, and I’ve worked hard to keep my head above water. If we get together again I’ll tell him, I promise. I just didn’t want to remind him of how I had hurt him when things were going so well. I didn’t want to dredge up the bad memories. Next time though, pinky swear.”
I hold my pinky finger up, Cami does the same and we lock them together and the promise is sealed. Now, when will that next time be?
“Listen, I have to get to my next showing so I have to run, but I am so happy it went well. Please give him a chance. He’s been through a lot, and you may be just the person he needs in his life right now.”
We hug it out and as she walks through the door she says, “Give kisses for me.”
“Promise!”
As the door closes behind her I find myself alone in the house. I just can’t fight the childlike glee that I feel with the simple knowledge that he doesn’t seem to hate me and in fact he wants to see me again!!!!!
I can’t help it. I have had his phone number since Saturday and only used it once to tell him what time I could meet him for coffee. I dig my phone out of my purse and realize that I already have a text. And it’s from him! I had forgotten that I had turned off the volume after my dad called. Ugh! I forgot about my dad, but he can wait for later.
I hold my breath as I open his text:
Georgia: It was so great to see you and Justine today.
Georgia: I mean it. It was really great to see you.
Gracie: Thank you. It was great to see you and Frances too. Thanks for the coffee. And the scone.
I figured it would be some time before I heard back from him so I walk to kitchen, toss my phone on the counter, open the fridge and just stand there staring blankly. While in my far away la-la land I hear the ping of my phone. I throw the fridge door shut so hard all the contents inside rattle and I leap to the counter to grab my phone like somebody is going to beat me to it.
Georgia: Frances said it was nice to meet you too.
Gracie: Maybe we can take Frank and Frances for a walk sometime?
Oh crap! Did I just ask him out? Crap! Crap! Crap!
Georgia: She would love that but I am not so sure…Frank’s owner is kind of a player and I hope the apple doesn’t fall anywhere near that tree.
Georgia: Can you tell I’m a bit of an over-protective father?
Gracie: I’ll make sure he’s on this best behavior.
As if he knows we’re talking about him Frank—named after Will Ferrell’s Frank the Tank character in the movie Old School—saunters into the room looks at me, gives me a little snort and then plops himself on the cool kitchen floor.
Georgia: I’ll give him one chance but if he steps one paw out of line they don’t see each other again.
Gracie: Understood.
Georgia: Hey, I have to run, but we’ll talk soon and thanks again for agreeing to coffee.
You would think the high school quarterback had just asked me to prom, not that I had just gotten a handful of platonic text messages from the guy whose heart I broke. I am so giddy I can’t even stand it! I’m bouncing around the house and singing a little JT to Frank, and not even caring if Mickey walked in and caught me. I haven’t felt like this in years.
A few minutes go by and then I’m blessed with the sound of another ping!
Georgia: Just got an email from Mick that the crew is coming over Saturday for a BBQ. Some sort of housewarming party. You gonna be there?
Gracie: Well, this is the first I’m hearing about it but I’m sure I’ll be there. I don’t have any other plans for Saturday night.
Georgia: Good to know.
Gracie: Are you making fun of me and my lack of a social life?
Georgia: Nope, just happy to hear that you’ll be there.
Gracie: Me too.
Chapter 13
Jonathan
I can’t believe it’s almost eight o’clock and I am just now on my way to Mick’s! I’ve been looking forward to this for three days and then I get ordered to work overtime on my day off! I’m sure we were below minimums because everybody took the time off to be at Mick’s BBQ. It’s really a housewarming, but dudes don’t have housewarmings, so he’s calling it a BBQ.
Since seeing Emily on Wednesday I’ve been living in my own little world. Spending time with her that day was like taking in air for the first time in years. Every text that we’ve exchanged in the last three days has started my heart beating again. I feel like the dark cloud that hasn’t left me alone since she walked away from me that day is finally starting to lift a bit.
Our texts have been everything from the mundane about doing laundry or walking the dog, to moments that give me hope that she still feels even just a little bit of what I still feel for her. The conversation that gives me the most hope, but also scares the shit out of me, was from last night as we were saying goodnight.
Gracie: I really can’t believe that you remembered exactly how I like my coffee…
Georgia: I remember everything about you and about that week.
I got nervous when a few minutes went by before her next reply. Way to go Jonathan, scare her away already. Just as I pick up my phone to type some sort of apology, I hear the alert I’d been waiting for.
Gracie: You still a simple Americano guy?
She fucking remembers too. It’
s not just me! Now how do I play this? What the hell, I might as well go for it.
Georgia: Yep and I still love chocolate ice cream…
Right now I am picturing that magnificent blush of hers slowly crossing her features as the memories of our week floods back to her. I hope I haven’t crossed a line but it’s killing me to know if she’s pushing me into the friend zone or if I’m ever going to have a chance at something more with her. When five minutes has passed I realize I might have crossed that invisible line. I tell myself to wait another five minutes and if she doesn’t reply I will.
With just a minute to spare she puts me out of my misery. I see the tiny bubbles start moving on my phone’s screen that tells me she is in the process of writing me back. What I read next is not at all what I was expecting…
Gracie: I’m ready to tell you what I couldn’t in the past. I don’t want to move forward with our friendship in any way without you knowing. I’m not the same person I was when we met, Jonathan and I want you to decide for yourself if you want to continue a friendship or anything else between the two of us. Do you think we can try to get some time to talk when you’re here tomorrow night?
Georgia: Of course.
Gracie: Ok, good. See you tomorrow. Goodnight.
Georgia: See you tomorrow.
I typed and re-typed my reply to her message and finally just decided to keep it simple. I want her to know how much it means to me that she trusts me enough to tell me whatever her big secret is. At the same time, it stirs up emotions that anger me and make me want to scream, why couldn’t you have told me then?! Until I know what’s going on I think simple is best.
