Jasper leaned his head back, ready to get some sleep. “He’ll start making mistakes now. Like he just did.”
Starting a shoot-out at a small private airport was a mistake? She didn’t see how. Because it was reckless?
She watched Jasper go to sleep, peaceful and unafraid. They’d be back in San Francisco in a several hours. She should try to get some sleep, as well. Except her mind was racing about Darien. She wished so deeply to be rid of him. Five years. She’d looked over her shoulder that long. So many times she’d broken down with a feeling of hopelessness that she’d never be free of him. The only thing that always got her through those moments was the reminder of what she’d built and the life she’d left behind.
But this man. Jasper was going to do that for her. When Bernie was murdered and his case went cold, she’d had no idea the case would lead back to Darien. She hadn’t seen that coming. She’d thought she was going to have to live in fear of Darien the rest of her life.
Jasper’s calm demeanor tugged her heart, bringing her closer to him, a man so good and yet seemingly so unattainable.
“Why do you avoid relationships?” she asked.
He must not have fallen into deep sleep yet. His eyes popped open and he turned his head. “What?”
“The excitement. Why do you avoid relationships?” He felt guilty over Kaelyn’s suicide, but his relations with Sadie were nothing like that. Sadie wasn’t married. Their sex hadn’t betrayed anyone else. Both of them were available.
“I don’t avoid them.” He didn’t lift his head up or open his eyes.
She had a feeling there was more to his affair with Kaelyn than he’d told so far. “Okay, but I think you feel safer when you aren’t in one.”
Now his eyes opened. “Safer?”
“What are we?” she asked. “Are we a couple?” Did she even want to be a couple? With the baby they may not have a choice. “I guess I’m just trying to sort all of this out. Make sense of it.” If that was even possible.
He didn’t respond for a while and she could see him pondering the matter. “It doesn’t have to make sense yet.”
That kind of peeved her. “What is this, then? A meaningless encounter?”
“I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“Okay, then how about this—it’s an encounter that doesn’t mean anything...yet.” And maybe never would. He would be safe looking at it that way. And so would she. Except something in her kept rebutting that analogy.
“I like that one a lot better.”
She grew more annoyed and didn’t understand why, which only intensified her angst. The baby tied them together. Sadie felt carried off on a small boat in a rolling sea with no motor or paddles. Where would the vessel take her?
When she and Darien had first moved in together, she used to fantasize about having a baby with him. She was such a different woman back then. She’d been independent but she’d also been naive when it came to men. She had a fairy-tale dream of how her love life would play out. True love with a handsome, successful, interesting man. The exhilaration of creating a new life from that wonderful love. Pure happiness. What a shock it had been that first time Darien had shown his evil side. She’d thought she’d given their relationship enough time to be sure he was the right man for her. Now she realized even if she’d given it more than a year, he would have behaved himself until he had her in his lair.
She rolled her head to look at Jasper again and saw him looking back at her.
“Are you who you seem?” she asked.
“What are you worried about, Sadie?”
She should be blatantly honest with him. That was something she’d never been with Darien. With Darien, she’d been satisfied with letting her dream of a perfect future take her on a journey. This time she wanted it to be real. No matter how ugly.
“I’m worried that I don’t know enough about you to be having a baby with you.”
“Getting to know someone takes time.”
“Have you told me everything about you and Kaelyn?” Aside from his affair that had split up a marriage and ended in the woman’s suicide, Sadie had a feeling there was more to it than what he’d told her so far.
Judging by his prolonged silence, she began to grow uneasy.
After a few seconds more, he said, “She had a daughter. I didn’t have many chances to get to know her, but I did have some, enough to get attached to her. I considered a future with her in it. Imaging that made me feel like I could be a good father.”
Was he harboring a suppressed emotion about kids? How did he truly feel about them having a baby together? He was hard wired to do the right thing, but what did the baby really mean to him?
“Up until my uncle discovered the affair, I didn’t recognize the wrongness in what I was doing. The people I would hurt. I caused that little girl to grow up without a mother, to grow up with an abusive father. He wasn’t abusive to the girl, but he was to her mother. She must have seen things.”
She understood how he would feel that way. She agreed getting involved with another person’s spouse was wrong.
“Do you think you could have avoided the affair?”
He turned his head and took a while to respond. Then he shook his head. “It just happened. We started out as family. Then friends. Then close friends. She understood me. We had a lot in common. I can’t tell you when it crossed the line. I only remember the first time I kissed her.”
“And then there had been no turning back. Sounds familiar.” Maybe this is how he found himself involved with women. His heart sneaked up on him until he reached a point when it was too late. “You’re a better detective than you are a lover.” She smiled as she teased.
He didn’t smile with her. “That’s what worries me.”
Every time he thought of Kaelyn and her daughter, he didn’t feel like a hero, much less father material. He may even fear setting a bad example. Did he think he’d get involved in another affair? Maybe he feared he was susceptible. If he had no control once, he could lose control again. She had to ask a difficult question. The answer may not be what she wanted to hear.
“Everybody makes mistakes,” she said. “The key is you learn from them. Do you think you’ve learned from your mistakes?”
“Yes, but at great cost to others.”
Then he had hope not to repeat them. But for him to be sure he had to be deeply in love, and Sade was 100 percent certain he was not deeply in love with her. The next man she married wouldn’t raise an alarm like that. Jasper raised a big alarm.
She rolled her head away. No more talking.
* * *
Back in Sadie’s big house, Jasper noticed how she avoided him over the next few days. Today, he hadn’t seen her at all and he found he missed her, even just seeing her. He sat in the library with his laptop, going over the latest surveillance of Darien. Outside, rain fell on the heavy side and dimmed the house enough to require lamps lit. It was after six so the sun would set soon.
He knew what Sadie was doing. She felt she needed to protect herself. He might believe he had to be there for his child, but Sadie wouldn’t ruin the rest of her life by marrying a man who didn’t love her. That would be just as bad as marrying a man who deceived her. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. The fact that he’d allowed her to avoid him told him he agreed. He felt trapped into being with her, and that his regrets prevented him from considering going separate ways.
How could he have all these conflicting feelings when every time he looked at Sadie he felt anything but the desire to part ways? His passion for her seemed to grow rather than subside with the news of her pregnancy. Her absences only intensified that reaction.
After talking with Sadie, he realized his past had made him fear his ability to be a good father. Fear provoked him to run. Honor wouldn’t allow him. But he wasn’t gaining
any confidence from Sadie. She’d had a rough experience herself. He wasn’t the only one dealing with something like that. If only humans could see into the future and know which decisions to make.
His phone rang. Standing from the table when he saw the San Francisco detective’s name, he answered as he moved to one of the windows facing the back of the house.
“We have another one,” the detective said.
Jasper kept his curse to himself and listened to the man explain all they’d uncovered, which was a lot.
When he finished the call, he turned from the gloomy view through the window to see Sadie standing in the doorway. She held her hands in front of her and wore a worried look.
“I heard you talking,” she said.
She must have heard enough to ascertain what had happened.
Jasper walked to her. “Another homeless man was shot.” When he stopped, he put his hands on her upper arms in an attempt to steady her if she needed that, or just offer a comforting gesture. He knew this would be difficult for her. “Witnesses reported seeing Chad Long being forced into a car like the one we saw parked in front of the Revive Center.”
Stumbling backward, Sadie put her hand over her mouth and tears came to her eyes. He let his hands fall. But when he saw her eyes tear up, he moved forward and took her into his arms, holding her while she cried. The desire to crush Darien had never been as strong as now.
“I’m sorry.” He wished he could have done more sooner. But he and the team of detectives in San Francisco had made progress. “Because of our work, police were able to track down the men. Chad is in the hospital in critical condition. His attempted killers were arrested and their statements are being recorded now. They’ll likely turn over information on Darien. And the evidence Steven gave me will probably be enough to have him extradited.”
Sade kept her head against his shoulder until she regained control over her crying. Then she lifted her head.
Her teary eyes ripped at his soul, biting and tearing the gate of his primal being. The taste of vengeance gripped him. He’d have it. Oh, yes. He would.
“I don’t understand why he’s doing this,” she said.
The time had come to tell her more. He’d held off until now to spare her. “I haven’t told you yet, but two nights ago someone walked through the woods. We’ve stepped up patrols and a team chased the person away, but we think it was Darien testing our security. When he realized he couldn’t breach the fence again, he must have decided to go after another homeless man.” Tormenting her some more.
“That bastard!” she hissed.
“Yeah. If it wouldn’t have been murder, I’d have killed him when I went to Toronto.”
She reached up and put her hand on his face, affectionate and appreciative. “When will we know if Chad will be all right?”
“He’s in surgery. It could be hours, maybe days.”
“Oh,” she breathed her distress. “I have to go there.”
“I’ll make arrangements. We’ll fly there first thing in the morning.” It was too late now and the storm would only delay them further.
Sadie stayed in his arms as she turned her head to look out the window. Even with the thick, sturdy construction the slap of rain was audible and the fog of heavy precipitation impaired visibility beneath bright exterior lighting. The faint rumble of wind told Jasper the gusts were much stronger than the cozy residents of Sadie’s hideaway revealed. He’d made a good call delaying their departure until tomorrow.
He gently stepped back from her. “Give me a moment.”
When she calmly moved away, hugging herself and walking in a daze to the big expanse of window, he quickly made a call on his cell to get a plane lined up for the morning, and then used the radio to contact the gatehouse to confirm inactivity.
Assured of their safety, he could give all his attention to Sadie and her emotional state after learning about Chad. He went to her.
“I’ll start a bath for you.” He placed his hand on her lower back to get her moving.
She didn’t protest and walked ahead of him down the hall, leading him into her bedroom. When she vanished into her walk-in closet, he went into the spacious bathroom with cream-colored stone and dark wood floor. The oval Jacuzzi tub reminded him of the one in her pool room. He started that going and found some flowery smelling bubble bath and poured some in. By the time he lit two candles, he heard her behind him.
Turning, he saw she’d put on a robe, a satiny black thing that grabbed his attention. “I’ll leave you to it.” After shutting off the water, he started to step toward her and the door to the bathroom, but she put her hand on his chest.
“Would you stay?” she asked. “I don’t want to be alone.”
He couldn’t stop a glance down to the V of her robe. Sadie seemed not to notice as she just leaned forward and put her hands and head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. She must need the comfort right now. He had not seen her this vulnerable before. The stress of Bernie’s murder and all that had followed must have reached a threshold.
“It will be all right,” he said. “I promise.”
“Not if Chad dies. He can’t die.” She sounded on the verge of crying.
“We’ll go see him tomorrow. By then he’ll be out of surgery and in recovery.”
If he survived...
And if he did, he’d likely be in Intensive Care.
Jasper wouldn’t say that to Sadie.
He rubbed her back and held her until she moved back. When she looked up at him, her emotion had subsided, or warmed into something else.
“Will you get in the tub with me?”
Was she still vulnerable? He wouldn’t take advantage of her. Just and right. He felt the best living to that code.
“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” he said.
“Screw good ideas,” she purred. “All I need is to forget everything but whatever is in this moment...and every moment to come before morning. Are you with me?”
Then again, what difference would it make if they made love again? He’d already gotten her pregnant.
“Yes,” he said.
“I need you close.” She slipped off the robe.
Jasper found himself quite speechless and absorbed in her backside and slender, sexy legs as she stepped into the tub. She sat on the steeper-sloped side and looked at him, waiting.
A dream of a sexy woman waited for him in a tub of bubbly, warm water. He began removing his clothes, starting with his boots. Aware of how Sadie watched him pull off his shirt, he had serious reservations over where this would lead. But he did as she requested and stripped naked and stepped into the tub.
Resting back against the reclining side, he opened his arms. A soft, contented look came over her face and she moved to lean back against him. Her bare skin, slicked with water and bubble bath, enflamed him. She let her head fall back against his shoulder and closed her eyes.
Enjoying her profile, he wrapped his arms around her torso, avoiding contact with anything more female. But that put his hands on her stomach, which made him aware of what grew inside.
Sadie’s eyes opened and she looked up at him.
Jasper shared his first sensation of awe with her. An inexplicable feeling expanded with the knowledge that he’d helped create a life. None of his initial panic intruded. He moved his hands over her skin. Her stomach was flat, of course, but soon she’d begin to show signs. Right now only the idea of the baby touched his imagination.
Sadie bent her head as she put her hand over his.
He shared another moment with her. Neither spoke. He just felt, as he was sure she did, too. Then after a while, she lifted her head.
Jasper moved his down and kissed her. The kiss was like no other. Intimate, and yet so profound his head spun. His heart hammered. He conti
nued kissing her. She moved with him in such soft harmony he fell deeper into a dreamlike state.
She withdrew long enough to turn, water sloshing as she straddled him.
“Sadie.” Did they want to do this?
“Shh. The damage is already done. How could this hurt anything?” She kissed him, much freer than the last time. While the first time they’d made love had been unexpected and full of urgency, this time he felt more of a connection. Finding out about Chad made this more personal.
Steam from the warm bath heated the bathroom. Cradling her rear, he lifted her and rose to sit on the corner curve of the tub. She straddled him and looped her arms around him. Without breaking their kiss, he ran his hands over her body and let her set the pace. Agonizing moments later, she satisfied his thirst for her but created an even more unbearable hunger as she slowly moved. Fevered heat nearly made him tremble just before he could hold back no longer.
* * *
Early the next morning, Jasper woke Sadie with soft kisses. She opened her eyes, drifting on the bliss of a light, airy dream. She lay in his arms, warm under the covers, his scent engulfing her and his sleepy eyes content and loving. This was much different than the last time they did this. Last time she woke alone in bed, now she never wanted to leave.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Yes, it is.” He rolled on top of her and resumed kissing her, taking the passion to the next level.
In the tub she thought she’d fly right out of her body on the hard, intense wave of sensation joining with him created. Again, he didn’t hurry with the urgency of desire. She liked that he took control after letting her lead the way last night. But most of all, she liked waking up like this—in his arms.
He slowly pushed inside her, partially embedded and then sliding all the way. “Lift your knees.”
She did, loving his commanding tone that sounded swept away with desire. He pulled his hips back and pushed into her again. Tingles showered her senses and drew a sound from her. Jasper touched the corner of her mouth and then the other, compelling Sadie to tip her head up to reach his lips for a real kiss. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She opened her mouth and he deepened the kiss.
Runaway Heiress Page 18
