by Jennie Adams
She blurted out, ‘The wedding planner supervised a fitting of the gown this afternoon. I won’t wear it to the first rehearsal tomorrow, of course, but…’
How did she explain what she couldn’t understand herself? Just how much that fitting had taken from her emotionally and she couldn’t say why because it was just a dress in the end, and the wedding wasn’t going to be real, and Mel knew all of this.
Mel didn’t want to think about why. ‘Well, it’s a beautiful gown. I’m amazed at how quickly it’s being created.’ She drew a breath and tried to make light of it as she went on. ‘Have you been fitted for your suit?’
‘Yesterday.’ He glanced towards her. ‘I’ve left you to handle the bulk of the work for this wedding while I attended to other things. I should have supported you better.’
She leaned towards him, shook her head. ‘You’ve been all over the country checking on the truffle harvesting, making sure the orders are going out in perfect condition. That’s so important.’
‘And that’s your generosity shining again.’ He lifted his hand to the side of her face. ‘You have a tiny dot of cake batter right there.’ His fingertip softly brushed the spot.
Mel closed her eyes. Oh, it was the stupidest thing to do but it was what his touch did to her. She melted any time they were close.
‘It’s there, isn’t it?’ The feather-light touch of lips replaced his fingertip against her cheek. He kissed the spot where her cooking efforts had made their way onto her face, and then he sighed softly and pressed his cheek to hers. ‘All the time that need is there. I do not know why.’
That was as far as he got, because he turned his head to look into her eyes, and Mel turned her head to look into his eyes, and their lips met.
The fire ignited. Immediately and utterly and Rik’s arms closed around her and Mel threw hers around his neck and held on. She didn’t know if she could have let go if she’d wanted to. This was what had been troubling her. This was what she’d tried to think about and figure out.
Her thoughts formed that far, and then they became action. Her mouth yielded to his, opened to him even as she took from him. She sipped from his lips and ran her tongue across his teeth.
Everything was pleasure, and somehow all of those feelings seemed to have caught themselves in a place deep in her chest where they swirled and twined and warmed her all at once. Rik was the warming power. Everything about him drew her. Mel didn’t want to resist being drawn.
‘I don’t want to leave this, Mel.’ His words echoed her thoughts, and he used the diminutive of her name, and Mel loved that.
‘I don’t want to leave it, either, Rik.’
‘Do you understand what will happen?’ His words were very deep, emotive and desirous and almost stern all at once.
‘I do.’ If there was any hesitation in her words it was not because of uncertainty in that decision. ‘This—this is new for me.’
Please don’t stop because I’ve admitted that.
‘But it’s what I want, Rik. I—I have no doubts.’
‘I do not want to consider doubts, either.’ Rik’s words were strong, and yet the touch of his hand was so gentle as he stroked the side of her face, her neck. ‘I will cherish you, Melanie. I will cherish you through this experience.’
That made it right for her. It just…did. The tiny bit of fear that had been buried deep down, that she might not know what to do or how to please him, evaporated. He would guide her. Mel could give this gift and share the gift of his intimacy in return. She wanted that. She needed it, though she did not understand why that need held such strength.
Rik took her hand and led her to his bedroom. Mel managed to register that the room was similar to her own but with a more manly tone, and then Rik drew her into his arms and kissed his way from the side of
her neck to her chin and finally to her lips as their bodies pressed together and Mel didn’t notice anything more about the room.
This felt exactly right. That was what Mel thought as her hands pressed against his chest, slid up to his shoulders and she let herself touch his muscular back through the cloth of his shirt. Yet that was not enough. ‘I want—’
‘What do you want, Melanie? Tell me.’ He encouraged her to put her need into words.
And maybe he needed to hear that, too, for her to tell him.
‘I need to touch you. I need to feel your skin beneath my fingertips while you’re kissing me.’ She almost whispered it, but he heard and he guided her hand to the buttons of his shirt.
It was all the permission that Mel needed, and, though she trembled inside, her fingers slipped each button free until his chest was revealed and she could touch his bare skin. ‘You’re so warm.’
‘That is because you are in my arms.’ He shrugged out of the shirt and then he gave all of his attention to her and to this exploration that they shared moment-by-moment in giving and receiving and discovering and finding.
When he laid her on the bed, Mel looked into his eyes and though her thoughts and feelings were blurred by passion, impossible to define, every instinct told her. ‘This is what I’ve needed. I know it’s right. I want you to make love to me, Rik. Just to share this together, the two of us without thinking about anything else.’
Rik cupped her face in his palm. ‘And so it will be.’
Melanie blossomed beneath Rik’s ministrations. She was beautiful in every way, and he told her in English and French and told her in the old language of Braston, words that he had never uttered to another woman as he led her forward on this journey.
He hesitated on the brink of claiming her. ‘I am sorry that there will be pain. If you want me to stop—’
‘No.’ Mel let the word be a caress of her lips against his. A sigh inside her. A whisper of need that she gave from her heart, and that was terrifying because Mel couldn’t bring her heart to this. That was far too dangerous a thing to do. ‘Please don’t stop, Rik. I…don’t think I could bear it if you did.’
There was pain, but she held his gaze and the tenderness in his eyes, the expression that seemed akin to awe as he bent to kiss her lips again, allowed her to release that pain, to let it pass and to trust in him to lead her forward.
He did that, and then there was only pleasure and she crashed suddenly over an incredible wave and he cried out with her, the most amazing experience Mel had ever experienced, and the most powerful, knowing that she, too, had brought him to this.
Afterwards he held her cuddled against his chest as their breathing slowed. A deep lethargy crept up on Mel. She tried to fight it, to stay alert, to even begin to figure out what happened now or what she should say or do. There was so much and she didn’t know how to find understanding but she knew she didn’t regret this, could never regret it.
But what did it mean to him, Mel? What did it mean to Rik? Is there any possibility now—?
Mel could have been embarrassed, but they had shared this. How could she now feel anything that even resembled such an emotion? There was no room inside her. She was filled with other emotions, inexplicable to her right now, and overwhelming because what they had shared had been overwhelming. She shivered, wishing for his warmth, and then he was there, drawing her close.
He tucked her chin into his chest and she felt tension drain from him, too, and wondered what his thoughts might be.
‘Sleep, Melanie. You need it right now more than you know.’ He stroked his fingers through her hair.
Mel slept.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘IF I’D remembered this festival was on today I’d have left the country.’ Marcelo’s face pulled into a disgruntled twist.
‘Oh, I don’t know. Is it so horrible having the opportunity to flirt with lots of lovely local women?’ Anrai dug his brother in the ribs.
Marcelo didn’t crack a smile. ‘It is if they then want to marry you!’
Anrai, too, now grimaced. ‘I forgot that from last year.’
‘And the year before and year before and yea
r before,’ Marcelo said beneath his breath. ‘You need to stop being such a flirt, Anrai. It will catch up with you one day. Anyway, we had to be here. Rik’s first wedding rehearsal is later today.’ Marcelo turned to Rik. ‘Can you believe the marriage is only a week away?’
‘No.’ Rik glanced at his brothers, heard the sibling teasing. He might even have wanted to join in, if there’d been any space left in his thoughts or emotions right now for anything other than the woman he’d held in his arms last night.
It was just one week before their marriage.
They had spent just one night in each other’s arms.
He should not have let that happen but it had and now he did not know what to do, how to go forward. So many thoughts and emotions swirled, and Rik…did not like to feel out of control, confused, uncertain of his path and yet all he could do was continue because…nothing had changed when in a way…everything had. But nothing at the core of him, nothing of how he was. Of his parents’ traits within him.
Nevertheless, Rik needed to find Melanie. The marriage was only a week away. They did have a rehearsal this afternoon and…he didn’t know if he had irreparably messed things up with Melanie.
And even now you wish you could take her again into your arms.
Rik tried to force the thoughts aside. They were of no use to him, a line crossed that must not be crossed again. He glanced around him. He and his brothers were in Ettonbierre village, and, yes, there was a festival on today.
Rik had forgotten all about it. So had Anrai and Marcelo who’d both only arrived back at the palace late last night and had walked out with him this morning intending to meet a man to discuss tourism plans for the region.
All three brothers had plans and goals. All three relied on the success of each other to allow them to achieve those goals. The prize was recovery for a struggling country, the cost to be their freedom if Anrai and Marcelo could not also figure out ways to avoid their father’s insistence that they lock into lifetime marriages.
Rik tried to dismiss the thoughts. He looked around him. This festival was what Melanie had cooked for in the middle of the night. Just a few hours ago, and then Rik had found her in the kitchen and taken her back to his suite. She’d mentioned the wedding rehearsal. She had probably been worrying about it and that had prompted her cooking spree. And then perhaps other thoughts had pushed those worries aside for a time as they…made love.
And those thoughts had now given her new concerns? Of course they would have. They had given Rik fresh concerns, fresh questions. He had to keep her with him and keep both of them to their agreement. He hoped last night would not have undermined that goal. That was the only clear path Rik could define. Surely the only one that mattered, so why did reminding himself bring a sense of loss rather than the sense of eventual freedom it should?
Every thought brought Rik back to the same thing. He and Melanie had made love. That had changed things. He’d felt as though his world had shifted alignment and Rik couldn’t figure out why he felt that way or what it meant.
He’d woken at dawn with Melanie curled in his arms and a sense of rightness that had quickly changed when the reality of what they had done stabbed him in the chest.
How could that have been a smart decision on his part? Melanie had been innocent and had allowed passion to sway her judgement, but Rik was experienced and should have known not to let this happen.
Not when there was no future for them, no future when their involvement was based on a situation that he had set up to avoid becoming tied down in a relationship. He couldn’t bear to perpetuate his family’s emotional freeze-out into another generation, to be the one turning the cold shoulder to his partner and receiving the same in return. To have his children asking themselves why they were not fit to be loved.
No. He could not carry that legacy forward.
When he woke this morning and thought of all that, remorse and confusion and a lot of other emotions had set in. Melanie was a giving girl. She would be kind. She would definitely care for her children.
But Rik…could not match those traits. He’d eased away from Melanie and got up. Showered, dressed, told himself he needed to think and that he would wait for her to wake and then they would…
What? Somehow sort themselves out so that last night didn’t have the impact on them that it already had done?
She’d been a virgin. She’d given him a beautiful gift. That could never be undone now and even with all his concerns, Rik felt that he had been given that beautiful gift, the gift of Melanie in all of who she was, and he didn’t begin to know what to do now because he hadn’t planned for this and he had nothing to give in return of equal or acceptable value.
A confronting thought for a man who always set out to be in charge of his world, who had been raised into position and privilege and must now acknowledge that in this, he lacked.
‘I just want to find Melanie.’ He frowned. ‘There are a lot of people around. She is the fiancée of a prince now, and shouldn’t be unattended without at least two bodyguards with her.’
Rik totally overlooked the fact that he had encouraged Melanie to move about the palace grounds and surrounds using the small buggy vehicle, and had believed she would be perfectly safe where members of the palace staff would never be too far away or the villagers would know she was a guest at the palace.
But the festival would bring tourists and strangers. Anything might happen.
And your protectiveness of her is out of proportion to your ability to let her into the core parts of you that you withhold from the world.
But not from his brothers?
That was different. It was all that he had. Care for his brothers and for the people of Braston. He could not bring normal love and caring feelings to a marriage.
‘Hate to point it out to you, brother, but we don’t have any bodyguards with us.’ Anrai raised his brows. ‘You’re sounding very serious considering the temporary nature of your arrangement with Melanie. Much as I think she’s a wonderful girl,’ his brother added.
‘She is.’ Rik didn’t notice the tightening of his mouth as he spoke, the flash of warring emotions that quickly crossed his face. Instead his gaze scanned the crowds, searching as he missed the surprised and thoughtful gazes his brothers exchanged before they gave nods of silent decision, told him they needed to find their contact and get on with their meeting, and gave him the space to make his search.
Rik glanced around the crowded village square. There were colourful rides for children to play on, stalls out in the open selling home produce and hand-sewn items. A kissing booth, another to have your romantic future read, another for chemistry tests to find potential matches.
The fair had started out as a proposal day centuries ago as a means for men to woo their potential brides with offers of a fowl or a pig as a dowry. Today it had turned into an opportunity for the folk of Ettonbierre village to let their hair down for a day, for children to play and young men and women to flirt with each other, ask each other out.
He didn’t want Melanie anywhere near this.
The jealous, protective thought came from deep within Rik. He had no right to it but still it came. A moment later he spotted her and he strode towards the small group gathered outside the food marquee at the edge of the town square.
* * *
‘It’s very flattering of you to say that to me, and yes I guess it would be fair to say that I am a guest of Prince Rikardo at the palace at the moment.’ Mel spoke the words as she tried to edge away from the small crowd that had gathered outside the food tent.
She tried to sound normal, polite and not as deeply confused and overwrought as she felt this morning. Pretending calm until she started to feel it was a method that had worked for her after their trip to Paris. Surely it would work again now?
After Paris you were recovering from a kiss. Last night you made love with Rik. The two aren’t exactly on a par. ‘I’m really not at liberty to discuss that any further at this time.’
Though Rik had assured her none of the villagers would recognise the ring she wore as her engagement ring, Mel tucked her hand into her skirt pocket just in case, and was proud that she’d managed to think clearly enough to consider that need.
In that same thrust to find some sliver of normalcy in the whirl of her emotions she’d delivered all the cakes she could carry to the fair. She had stepped outside the catering tent intending to take a quick look at the festival before heading back to the palace.
Rik had been out on the grounds somewhere when she had first woken up. She probably could have gone looking for him, but what would she have said? She’d needed a moment to try to clear her head before she faced him.
You wanted more than a moment. After all that you shared with him last night you had no idea how to face him. Why downplay it, Mel, when it’s all you can think about and every time you do think about it, you can hardly breathe for the mix of feelings that rushes through you?
She’d fallen asleep in his arms, more drained emotionally and in every way than she had understood. And had woken alone, only to realise she was not alone because doubt had come to rest on her shoulder to whisper in her ear. Doubt about his feelings in all of this. Doubt that she had any right to expect him to have any feelings about it. Just above the other shoulder lurked despair. Mel didn’t want to acknowledge that, but…
She and Rik had shared something. It had been stunningly special to Mel, but that didn’t mean it had been any of that to Rikardo. To the prince. How could it have been?
You managed to forget that little factor last night, didn’t you? That he’s a prince and you’re a cook and his path is carefully set and doesn’t include any kind of emotional commitment to you.
‘If you change your mind while you are here…’ The man in front of her gave an engaging smile and handed her a piece of paper with his phone number on it.
Proposal Day. The festival had a history. Mel had heard it all from the kitchen staff. But nowadays it was a chance for people to get to know each other, date or whatever. Mel wouldn’t have been interested before. Now that she’d made love with Rik, she felt she could never be interested in any other man, ever again.
