by Carol Ross
Levi braced his cage with a wooden block he found lying nearby while Laney held hers tight against the shed with her foot.
“Here we go...”
Levi held the flashlight while Jay crawled toward the cat. Not a comfortable endeavor, he thought, as he inched his big frame toward the corner where the cat was now curled into a hissing ball of fur. He wasn’t exactly crazy about tight spaces, and this one smelled strongly of mold and that cat “business” Minnie had been complaining about.
Oddly enough, the closer he got to it the less noise the cat made. Maybe that’s why he figured he had it made. Later he would chastise himself for getting overconfident. Because, unfortunately for him, it didn’t bolt. It fought. And it fought like a, well, like a hellcat.
* * *
“OH MY GOD, Jay! What happened?” Mia showed up just in time for a groaning, bloodied and cat-less Jay to emerge from underneath the old shed.
“Cat fight,” Levi supplied, although he could barely get the words out between guffaws. He pointed at his brother. “Boom, and you definitely got it, right, Jay? You look like...” He couldn’t finish the thought because he erupted into a fresh fit of laughter.
Laney had more sympathy. But it was mostly for the cat. “He got away. Poor thing was terrified. And limping. His paw is messed up. It looks twisted.”
“These ferals can be rather slippery, I’m afraid. But Jay, I’m more concerned with your, uh, wounds. Unfortunately, these cats can carry a lot of diseases as well.”
Levi pointed at his brother. “Your face looks like the guy from that cheesy slasher movie we watched last night.”
“Thanks, Levi. You look like his sister, the psycho ax murderer. How did it get away? We had both ends blocked.”
“I’m not sure,” Levi replied.
“I think there’s a hole under this side of the building,” Laney said. “I saw him come out from somewhere around there. He disappeared into those blackberry bushes.” She pointed across Mrs. Mason’s yard to the fence line that presumably marked the border of her property. “Jay, you’re bleeding all over. You need to go to the hospital.”
Levi snorted.
Jay glared at him. “How is it that our sister has all this compassion and you have none?”
Levi, still chuckling, shrugged helplessly. “I’m sorry, but if you could have seen yourself. And the cat... It was like a cartoon...” The rest of his words were swallowed by more laughter.
Laney let out a giggle and then slapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, Jay. But it is kind of funny.”
Jay chuckled and Mia couldn’t help but join in. There might be problems with their parents, but these guys shared a closeness that warmed Mia to the core. She’d never had this with her brother. They’d had little in common as kids, and even less now. Kyle was as obsessed with the Navy as their dad had been.
But she was still worried about Jay’s scratches. “He’s probably going to be too skittish to trap today. We’ll have to try again a different day and hope that foot isn’t broken. In the meantime, my mom just texted and said she and Ty have that mother cat and her kittens in sight. All they need to do is take apart a wood pile to get to them. Levi and Laney, I’m going to drop you guys off to help them while I take Mr. Horror-Film-Face here back to the clinic and get him fixed up.”
They all piled into the van and approximately fifteen minutes later, after dropping Levi and Laney off, Mia was leading Jay into the clinic.
“You’re not giving me a rabies shot, are you?” he joked. “I’ve heard those are brutal.”
“We’ll see how good of a patient you are and then decide.”
She directed Jay into an exam room and had him sit up on the stainless steel table. She found herself eye to eye with him. He winced when she dabbed disinfectant on his neck.
“Sorry,” she said. “But I want to make sure I get these really clean. They seem the worst on your neck.”
“I’m not surprised. He used that area for traction. Like some kind of psycho-cat launching pad.”
“A couple of these... Wow, I didn’t know a cat could scratch this deep. What was your plan exactly?”
“My plan was for the cat to either come with me willingly or bolt out one of the ends of the shed and into one of the cages we had positioned there. Whereupon I would be your hero.”
“But you’re already my hero,” she teased. “Saving my life, saving my mom and Captain Shear. Fostering Coastie, helping me with a cat hoarder and now just...helping. You were thinking this would top that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe. You are a vet and all. And a cat rescuer.”
“I am impressed with your efforts. But since you’re going to be volunteering, there are a couple things you should know. Cats are predators and they will fight.”
“Ohh,” he drawled, “is that what he was doing? That’s where I went wrong, I thought we were having a kitty snuggle.”
She laughed and placed a bandage on his cheek and two on his forehead. She used two big square gauze pads on his neck. “That ought to do it for now. There’s blood seeping through your shirt, though. Can you take that off?”
The second he did she wished she hadn’t asked. She knew he was in good shape. That was obvious when he was dressed. His profession demanded it, but yowza, he was ripped. Wide, sculpted shoulders, biceps of steel, and his abs looked like they’d been cast from concrete. His muscles made Coby’s look like the second-string quarterback’s from the losing team. And now she had to treat the scratches. How to do that without ogling him, she had no idea.
She opted to just put it out there. Point out the elephant in the room, so to speak. “Wow. You know, you really should think about working out sometime. All this subcutaneous fat is gonna kill you. You know what they say about a spare tire? Heart attack waiting to happen.”
He leaned back like he’d been stung, looking surprised by her comments. She felt her cheeks grow warm with embarrassment. Would she ever learn to tame her nervous babbling habit?
His lips formed a half grin. “Thank you for the warning. I’ll see what I can do.”
He was teasing her. And that made it worse. Of course he knew how good he looked, and he obviously knew how it was affecting her.
She doused him with disinfectant.
“Ouch,” he chuckled. “That stings. You were much more gentle with my face.”
“Sorry,” she mumbled. “But your face I can handle.”
“What?”
“I said I was sorry I hurt you.”
“Are you?” he asked.
“Yes. No. Honestly? I’m sorry I asked you to take your shirt off. Look, Jay, here’s the thing, I find you very...”
“Sexy?” he supplied.
“Obviously,” she shot back. “Who wouldn’t? But that wasn’t the word I was looking for. I was going to say attractive. But I shouldn’t say that, right? Because who cares how you look? Not me, that’s for sure. Doesn’t even matter. I mean it matters right now because it’s distracting. But the problem here is that I think you’re...nice. And really...”
“I like you, too, Mia,” he interrupted. His eyes were filled with amusement, but his voice was soft and low and full of heat. His lips curled up slowly. Her heart, already pounding out of control, seemed to be attempting an escape from her chest.
“Oh...okay. Well, that’s...” She stopped and inhaled a breath but it didn’t seem to help her nerves.
“Good?”
“No. The opposite of that, in fact. It’s not good at all.”
He reached out and wrapped the fingers of one hand around her wrist. His touch felt hot and she stared at the contact point, struck by how his long fingers took up so much space on her arm. He removed the cotton swab from her other hand, tossed it into the pile with the others. Entwining that hand in h
is, he pulled her closer until she was standing between his legs. He smelled so good, like citrus and leather and something else she hadn’t yet been able to identify...
After a quick scan of her face, his eyes latched onto hers. “Really? ’Cause it feels kinda good.”
He caressed her palm with his thumb, which somehow made her skin tingle all over. “Um, this isn’t...”
His voice was soft and low; she felt the words as much as she heard them. “My life is very complicated, Mia.”
“Because of your family situation?”
He squeezed his eyes shut, but not before Mia saw the flash of pain. When he opened them again she felt a hitch in her chest. There was so much raw emotion there—hurt, regret and a sadness that made her own heart ache. “I can’t be what you need.”
“How do you know what I need?” she managed.
His lips played with a sad smile. “As much as I’d love to find out, I’m not the man to give it to you, to give you anything.”
“Jay, I’m not asking you for anything. I don’t think this—”
His gaze lowered to her lips. “This is such a bad idea,” he whispered.
“I know. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
“We should do it anyway.”
“Okay.” She barely managed to breathe the word before his mouth covered hers. His lips were warm and soft and they fit against hers so perfectly. Sliding the fingers of one hand into her hair, he cupped the back of her head. She brought her hands up, feeling his hard muscles beneath her touch. His other hand slipped around her shoulders and urged her closer until she was brushing against the bare skin of his chest. She felt hot, but the contact somehow made her shiver.
She deepened the kiss. He moaned, low and deep in his chest, and after a time he pulled away slightly, just enough to look her over like he was memorizing her face. He whispered her name and then kissed her again. And that’s when something changed, clicked into place inside her. In that moment she knew that every bit of her wanted this man. Not his body. Well, she wanted that, too, but what she really wanted was to spend time with him, to ease some of the pain she could see dwelling inside him but that he took such great pains to hide. She wanted to know where it came from. She wanted to know everything about him even as a voice inside warned her that she’d never be privy to that information.
Not to mention that she had plenty of her own reasons to keep her distance.
She hated what she had to do.
* * *
JAY HAD CONVINCED himself it would be okay to kiss her. Just one kiss—or two. Because he could do that. He’d always been able to do that, kiss and keep it casual. Usually, he could even stay friends with the women he dated after breaking it off. It was never difficult to convince them that it was his issue, his hang-up, or his inability to commit due to the mobile nature of his job or whatever, and not theirs.
But as soon as his lips met Mia’s, sooner than that really, the moment he’d put his arms around her, he’d known. Maybe even before that. Aubrey was right; this woman could unravel the image he’d worked so hard to build. The one where he didn’t need anyone. He couldn’t need anyone. There wasn’t enough of him to care about, or to take care of, anyone else. He was already spread too thin as it was.
He wasn’t sure he had the power to resist her, though. And he certainly couldn’t stand the idea of breaking her heart. That’s why he had to stop this before it went any further. Pulling away, he rested his forehead against hers while he caught his breath. It would be a while before his heart stopped racing, and he was pretty sure it would be forever before he could think about her, about this moment, and not have it take off racing again.
“Wow,” she whispered.
“I know,” he said, lifting his head to look at her. He trailed a finger across the scar still showing above her temple from the accident. Then he slowly lowered his hands. “I’m sorry. You told me this was a bad idea.”
“Actually, you’re the one who said that. But you were right.”
“I—” He was getting ready to give her his spiel when her words sank in. “I was?”
“Yes. I really like you, Jay. I do. And even though I’d love to see where this could go, I know that ultimately it could never go anywhere, not where I’d like for it to possibly go.”
This wasn’t the way he’d expected this conversation to go. He’d planned on letting her down easy and now she was the one giving him the speech?
“Why not?”
“I can’t date you.”
When she didn’t explain, he asked, “Are you going to tell me why?”
“Because...” She inhaled a breath and then blew it out. “Because you’re in the Coast Guard. I don’t date guys in the military.”
“You...what?” He barked out a laugh because surely she was joking? This was her reason? His profession? “But your mom said your dad was in the military, and I believe your brother is currently serving as well?”
“Yes, and that’s exactly why. I know the lifestyle very well. It’s not conducive to steady, long-term relationships. Not the kind I want, anyway. And at this point in my life, that’s what I’m looking for. Or at least I’d like to know the potential is there before I get involved with someone.”
“Your parents were married for thirty-six years, Mia. It sounds like it worked pretty well for them.” Why was he arguing with her when she was giving him the perfect out? Because her reason made no sense, that’s why. He was the one with the perfectly sane explanation for why they couldn’t get involved. If it wasn’t for his family situation, his responsibilities, he would prove her wrong. In a heartbeat, she would be changing her tune. The way she’d responded to his kiss gave him all the confidence he needed.
“It did.” She sighed. “But not for me. I grew up a military brat and I hated it. I more than hated it. It...damaged me.” She added a sad smile. “Look, I know you’re not proposing marriage here or anything, but I promised myself a long time ago that I would have a stable life one day. Now I have it, I’ve worked really hard to get it, and this is what I want for myself. And for my mom, my dogs and cats, and my kids, when I have them. I have responsibilities and commitments here in Pacific Cove that are set in stone. Like I said, I really like you, but it would be better if we just let this—” she gestured between them “—go.”
It took every ounce of his willpower not to pull her back to him and kiss some sense into her. Did she not realize that you couldn’t just let this kind of attraction go? This wasn’t like some butterfly you caught in your hand. That you could appreciate and admire and enjoy, and then let go. It didn’t work like that. Not when this...force of nature existed between two people.
A noise sounded from somewhere in the building. “Anyone here? Jay? Dr. Frasier? Where are you guys?”
Unless, he realized as Laney’s voice interrupted both their conversation and his thoughts, one of the people had six mouths to feed, a college education to pay for, a custody battle to fight, and now two teenagers to somehow keep alive, in school and off drugs. All the while hoping that no one, him included, ended up scarred for life. In that case, it was probably a good idea to let it go. And yet the idea of doing the sensible thing was twisting his insides into knots.
Keeping an even tone he asked, “You think we should let it go, huh? Pretend this didn’t happen?”
Her lips parted as if considering the statement. She whispered, “I believe that would be best.”
“Okay,” he finally said. “We’ll let it go.”
“Good.” She sounded relieved, but her blue eyes were wide and cloudy, and Jay thought he saw a flicker of disappointment before she busied herself by putting the cap back on the disinfectant bottle. He was glad; at least there was some regret on her part, too. She was right. Even if their reasons were different, the result had to be the same. And yet her lo
gic irritated him. On that at least he could set her straight.
As she turned to go, he reached out and slipped his fingers around her wrist. She swiveled toward him, silently asking what he was doing.
“No,” he countered softly. “It’s not good at all. I will let it go. But this conversation—” He released her wrist. “Is to be continued.”
She looked baffled. “What is that supposed to—”
“Look!” A smiling Laney appeared in the doorway proudly hoisting a cat carrier in one hand. “We’ve got kittens. Can we have a kitten, Jay?”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE NEXT MORNING Mia stared at the full dish of cat food on her porch and let the disappointment seep into her. No cats. No Jay. She never should have let him kiss her. Or kissed him back. What had she been thinking? Because now she had a taste of what she couldn’t have and it was pure torture. She’d finally found a guy she really thought she could like and he was off-limits. And apparently, not only according to her own criteria, but to his as well. That bothered her, too. Even though she knew it wasn’t fair for her to care. He had every right not to want to be with her just like she didn’t want to be with him.
The best thing to do would be to maintain some distance. But somehow, along with her growing attraction for the guy, avoiding him was now officially impossible. His little brother was working for her, and Levi was doing a better job than she could have even imagined. He and Dr. Anthony were hitting it off as well. Levi was now doing additional work for him, and taking care of their yard, house and cats during Ted’s trips to Portland.
She would just have to find a way to keep things friendly, platonic. Which shouldn’t be all that difficult seeing as how he intended to do the same. Except for that comment about continuing their conversation. After what happened yesterday, that made her heart race.
If only this distracting chemistry between them didn’t exist, she knew they could be great friends. The problem was, it was there. And she liked him. A lot. She wished they could be more than friends. But they couldn’t. So...
