by Carol Ross
She wanted, needed, consistency; a house, a family, friends, animals, a “home” town and a life where she was free to make her own decisions. A relationship with a man in the military would make that life impossible. Was it selfish to want to be first on her eventual husband’s list of priorities? She didn’t think so. After all, the concept was included in a lot of traditional wedding vows. Right up there with sticking it out through “richer and poorer” and “sickness and health,” you promised to put each other first, “forsaking all others.” Mia couldn’t wait to make, and keep, that vow someday.
He peered at her carefully and Mia knew she’d probably blown her chance at remaining friends with him. Some military men, like her father, did not abide anything but complete loyalty to their cause.
She sighed. “How about this, you go ahead and tell me your very important and vastly superior reason, and then we’ll take a vote?”
He scowled. “Mia...”
“Exactly,” she said, letting her irritation show, too. “You’re not going to tell me, so let’s just let it go. We both want, or don’t want in this case, the same thing. I don’t want you and you don’t want me. Why don’t we agree to disagree about the reason... Or disagree about agreeing or whatever...” She stopped talking and nibbled on her lip. He stepped closer and the look on his face sent a jolt of nervous energy rushing through her.
“But that’s not true.”
He was only inches away now, and she was glad they were shielded from the others by a row of blooming rhododendron bushes. Bees buzzed loudly as they flitted among the bright flowers. A hummingbird zipped by, but the buzz inside her head coupled with the beat of her heart seemed to drown it all out.
“What’s not true?” she whispered, because for some reason her voice had become trapped inside her chest.
Dipping his head so that his lips were almost touching hers, he said, “I do want you. I want you so much that I’m almost ready to set my good sense and my really, really great reason aside and kiss you again. It’s torture for me to be around you and not flirt with you and touch you and kiss you. And I think, deep down, that you feel the same way. Do you feel the same way?”
Mia couldn’t have moved away if she’d wanted to. She did feel the same and she wanted him to do all of that. But they couldn’t. He just didn’t understand. He would never understand because he’d never lived her life. She had no interest in living it again, either, not even for five minutes. Not even for this kind, thoughtful, funny, man-of-his-word closet animal lover, as tempting as he was.
Slowly, she shook her head even as she stared at his mouth, thinking about how his kiss made her feel desired. How his arms around her made her feel safe and special and... And how miserable her military-dominated childhood had been.
“No,” she somehow managed to squeak out the word. “Uh-uh. Nope. It doesn’t matter how I feel or how you feel. We can’t do this. So stop it.”
His lips brushed her cheek just below her ear. “Stop what?” he asked softly.
Breath officially stolen and her senses completely rattled, she took a wobbly step back. Struggling for words, she gestured between them. “Stop getting into my comfort zone and trying to make me admit something that will make you feel better. Co-volunteers or maybe, possibly, if you’ll keep your distance, friends. That’s all we can be. Let’s just forget about the reasons, accept the facts and deal with it the best we can.”
The bushes shook as a football parted the branches. It thudded on the ground next to them and managed to do what she couldn’t. Coastie let out a woof. George went over to inspect it, his uncharacteristic speed leading her to believe that he hoped giant cookies were now falling from the sky. Mia stepped away.
Jay bent and picked up the ball. “Deal with it?”
“Yes. Get over it. Get over me, Jay. You can’t have me.” Mia pointed in the direction the ball had come from. “We should get back. Lunch is probably here by now.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
JAY HAD NO idea what exactly possessed him to start searching for Duke. Duke—that’s what he’d been calling the cat who had eluded capture and used him as a human scratching post in the process. Minnie reported seeing him several times since that fateful Saturday. She’d given Jay permission to stake out her shed and otherwise come and go on her property as he pleased. He’d been back several times now to see if he could find the cat.
But it was as if the cat knew Jay was looking for him. However, this time, he was back with a plan—a plan and a box trap. He retrieved a can of cat food from his pack along with a small stainless steel bowl. Coastie scouted the area while he deposited the food into the bowl, slid it into the trap, and arranged it near one of the openings beneath the shed. This time, he wasn’t going to try to force him into a cage. He wanted the cat to enter the trap on his own terms. With a little help from Tasty-Vittles cat food.
He chose a spot in the shade of one of Minnie’s oversize hydrangea bushes a few hundred feet away from the shed. He removed a pair of binoculars, a fat bone-shaped treat and a frosted marionberry scone, the latter two items he’d purchased from Bakery-by-the-Sea. Clever of June, he thought, to bake treats for canine customers in addition to those for their humans. Tourists loved to bring their dogs to the beach. Most of the shops in Pacific Cove were dog-friendly and many kept bowls of water outside their doors on the sidewalk for thirsty canine tourists.
He gave the treat to Coastie. She sniffed it in that ladylike manner that brought a smile to his lips and more joy to his soul than he cared to admit. Lying down next to him, she began nibbling on the edge. Mia had removed the dog’s stitches and she seemed otherwise recovered. It was probably time to find her a home. He ignored the jab to his heart as he thought about Coastie no longer being a part of his life. He didn’t want to think about it right now. He bit into his scone, immediately wished he’d bought two and settled in to wait. Why, he wondered, did people like Aubrey and Nora eat sawdust blobs when they could have a scone like this? On that, at least, he and Mia agreed. Mia.
The woman was so frustrating. He’d almost kissed her again. She’d wanted him, too, he could tell. Instead, she’d backed off and told him to “deal with it.” Ha. He could deal with it fine if she would admit that... That what? The realization hit him like a ton of bricks; he was the one being ridiculous here, selfish and immature. What good would it do if she admitted anything? Other than make them both feel worse. He rubbed a hand over his chest where this ache had formed, flaring up whenever he thought about Mia, about the impossible circumstances keeping him from pursuing a relationship with her.
Drawing out the inevitable was pointless; he needed to let this go. It wasn’t a pleasant realization. Letting it go would mean letting her go for real. That’s what hurt. Mia was right; he did need to get over her. For the first time in a really long time, he let himself feel the tiniest bit of resentment for the life he’d felt he had to lead. He was used to putting his own needs aside and focusing on the people whose lives depended on him doing that very thing.
Jay knew he was in for a struggle. Never, not in all the years that he’d been supporting his family, could he ever remember wanting anything for himself as badly as he wanted Mia. That’s why he was going to have to stay away from her.
* * *
AS THE TWO-WEEK mark approached without any direct word from Jay, Mia told herself it was better like this. This is what she wanted. Yeah, right. But she’d basically told him as much. Although she certainly hadn’t meant to imply that she didn’t want him around at all! As the days wore on, her emotions vacillated among relief, anger, disappointment, sadness and pretty much everything in between. Interspersed with this wild ride were fantasies about her and Jay somehow making a go of a relationship. Then the Coast Guard would pop into her head, along with the mysterious “reason” he had for not being able to commit to anyone. Round and round and, in a word, s
he was making herself crazy.
When he hadn’t shown up the next Saturday for the Lucky Cats work party, she nearly folded and sent him a text. The only thing that prevented it was Laney’s telling her he was on duty. That word duty conveniently reminding her of what she sought to avoid and strengthening her resolve.
In spite of how things had unfolded between them, she didn’t let that affect her relationship with Levi and Laney. She was grateful that Jay didn’t, either.
In addition to his responsibilities in the kennel, Levi had become her right-hand man. With Ted out of the office so much, she’d begun to depend on him for myriad tasks. Ted, in turn, was relying on him as well. Mia knew how highly this spoke of Levi, as Ted was a perfectionist who could be difficult to please. Levi’s maturity, intelligence, sense of responsibility and conscientiousness continually astounded her. It was easy to forget he was only sixteen years old.
Mia was rapidly becoming attached to both kids, although Laney’s behavior was becoming increasingly troubling. She seemed to be reveling in her first summer in Pacific Cove, but her moods ran the gamut. Some days she chattered nonstop while others she seemed downright blue. Teenage girls could be moody, but this felt different. Mia was careful not to ask too many questions. And yet she sensed that she’d never really understand any of them, Jay included, unless she got the full story. It was frustrating, to say the least, wanting to help but feeling like her hands were tied.
Laney had begun to confide in her somewhat, sharing details about her hopes, dreams and social life. She talked about the volleyball camp she was attending while Mia filed away tidbits about the friends she was making and where she was spending her free time. She asked a million questions of Mia, about her life, college (Laney really wanted to go), travels, cats, cooking and where she got her hair done.
“I’ve never had my hair done,” Laney told Mia one day after complimenting her after she’d come into work with a trim.
“What do you mean?” Mia asked, surveying Laney’s long golden locks. Laney had beautiful, thick, neatly trimmed hair.
“Josie always cuts it for me. I’ve never been to like an actual hair salon, you know what I mean?”
Huh. It wasn’t the first clue Mia had received about the state of the family’s finances. Levi always brought a lunch to work. Several times Laney’s friends had come to play with the cats carting fancy iced drinks from the coffee shop. Laney never had one. Their clothes were always clean and neat, but she’d noticed the kids wearing the same items again and again. At first, she’d written this off to the fact that they’d recently moved, but lately she’d wondered. Levi’s backpack looked like the cats had used it as a scratching post.
A few days later they were cleaning the cat room when Laney asked about things to do in Pacific Cove. “Is it really legal to have a bonfire on the beach?”
“Yep.”
“Wow. That’s what Flame said. But I was like, no way! So, what, you can just like light a huge fire in the sand?”
“Well, there are some rules about making sure it gets put out properly, but yes. Did you say Flame?”
Mia watched Laney’s face light with that dreamy teenage girl smile and thought, uh-oh.
“Yeah, Flame. It’s a nickname. I guess he really likes fire or whatever. He’s a guy who’s been hanging around and asking me out and stuff.”
Mia desperately wanted to ask what “stuff” meant, but went with, “Does he go to Pacific Cove High?”
“Um, no. Well, he used to. He might be starting there again in the fall.” Laney’s eyes bounced around the room for a moment. Mia appreciated how she always made sure everything was in order before she left for the day. “You can meet him if you want. He’s picking me up in fifteen minutes.” She poured fresh litter into a cat box. “He has this awesome pickup. It’s really high off the ground. A bunch of us go out on the beach and we go four-wheeling. It’s so fun.”
Mia fought hard not to respond, to lecture, to ask if Jay knew she was seeing this guy. How old was he? Was Laney allowed to date already? Thank goodness for Charlotte, she thought. Charlotte had been born and raised in Pacific Cove. She’d know about this kid, and if she didn’t she would find out.
“I’d love to meet him.”
* * *
JAY DECIDED TO drive by Mia’s house on his way home from the base. He needed to take some measurements for that cabinet...
Who was he kidding? He wanted to see her. He hadn’t in two weeks and three days, to be exact. He couldn’t stand it. A glimpse would do, he told himself. That would be enough to ease the achy knot now lodged in his chest. Instead of getting better it was getting worse. A lot worse.
Even though he’d been busy—working and making sure Levi and Laney were adjusting to their new lives, tending to the Coast Guard volunteer outreach, puttering away on the house, spending time with Coastie, trying to catch a rogue cat—Mia always seemed to be lingering in his thoughts.
School was done for the year so Laney was working out, playing on the beach and hanging out with friends. She’d just finished a week of volleyball camp and was now practicing with a beach volleyball team. She was also taking her new role at Lucky Cats very seriously, devoting at least a few hours there every day. She loved having some spending money, even though Jay had noticed that, like Levi, she seemed to be saving most of it.
Levi was working more hours at the clinic. He was also taking care of Dr. Anthony’s cats and yard, and running miscellaneous errands for him. Jay supposed after the years of watching him and Josie scrimp and save, the habit had worn off on them.
As he rounded the corner near Mia’s house, he saw her in the yard by the bushes that lined her property on one side. Without thinking twice, he pulled his car over. She looked beautiful with her black silky hair up in a ponytail. She held an object in her hands and turned in his direction as he got out of the car. She smiled. He loved her smile, especially when it was aimed at him. He felt himself relax, conscious of how much his anxiety level was already receding, the chest knot loosening.
“Hey, stranger,” she said. “I’ve missed you.”
“Hi,” he said, trying not to read too much into her words, even as they pushed his pulse into overdrive. “You have, huh?”
“Yeah,” she teased, “trying to round up stray cats isn’t the same without your mad skills. Looks like you’re all healed, though.”
“Mostly.” He grinned and touched the remnants of the scratches on his neck. Missing his clumsy cat-herding skills was not what he was hoping for, but it was better than nothing. “What are you doing? Is that a video camera?”
She followed his gaze down to the object in her hands. “No. It’s one of those motion-activated ones that takes still shots.”
“You’re installing security?”
“Um... Not exactly.”
“Someone is stealing your newspaper and you want to catch them red-handed?”
She laughed and he immediately wanted to hear more of the same. Unbelievable, how much he’d missed her.
“Sort of. It’s more like I want to catch someone in the act. But not really.”
He tipped his head in question. “Now I’m officially lost.”
She explained about the stray cat situation, how she’d rounded up a lot of the cats but knew there were still many more to get. “I was feeding these stray cats—two were very regular. I was really attached to them and hoping to bring them in with Lucky Cats. But they disappeared. Some nearby strays seem to be disappearing, too.”
“What do you mean they disappeared?”
“I mean, about a month ago, they stopped showing up for breakfast.”
“You said they were strays. Isn’t that what strays do? Go astray?”
She rolled her eyes. “Not when there’s a guaranteed meal.”
“Maybe someone adopted them?”<
br />
“You know, I’ve already had this conversation with my mom. And all the things you are thinking are possibilities. But none of them really make sense. I’m most worried about coyotes. Or even a cougar.”
“Huh. But...” He paused to choose the right words. “I don’t mean to sound insensitive here, but if some kind of predator did get them, then what good is a camera going to do now?”
She grinned. “That’s not insensitive. That’s a good question. I’ve kept putting food out and now, finally, there’s a couple new cats coming in. If there is some kind of predator hanging around out here I want to know. But now, by feeding them I’m afraid I’m making it easier for it to get the cats. But really, everyone’s pets will be in danger—strays or not. Anyway, Mom made this joke about surveillance video and that got me thinking...” She trailed off with a one-shouldered shrug. “I want to see what’s out here.”
“Do you want some help?”
“Yes, please!” She practically shoved the camera at him. “I’m having a terrible time figuring out where to hang it to get the view right.”
Jay held the camera in place while Mia studied various angles via her laptop and directed him “up, down, right, left.” After several attempts, she finally decided on the one that placed the camera on the porch facing out and down with a view of the side yard and a portion of the street. She pointed at the bushes that bordered her yard. “This is usually where they would come from and disappear into.”
Her house was the last in a row that fronted the beach and on this side, the ground sloped upward. Traveling along the beach you would eventually arrive at his house, but the ground between the beach and the road was brush-and tree-covered and sparsely populated. It made sense that stray cats, and probably a variety of other wild animals, would utilize the area for refuge or for hunting grounds.
After some discussion and trying out different angles, Jay bolted the camera in place with a bracket that was included with the purchase. They tested it out and after a few more adjustments, Mia was finally satisfied.
