by Cole Lepley
Tortured
Cherry Grove Series, Book 4
Cole Lepley
Copyright © 2020 by Cole Lepley
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblances to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Contents
Playlist
Prologue
1. Wish You Were Here
2. Sorry, Not Sorry
3. Stay True
4. Kryptonite
5. Vices
6. Kiss Me
7. Breaking Bad
8. Slow It Down
9. Love Robbery
10. Smoke Clouds
11. Bittersweet Sixteen
12. Deadlines
13. Until I See You Again
14. Fate
15. The Cliffs
16. Wake Me Up When September Ends
17. Skin Deep
18. The Eye of The Storm
19. Lucky
20. Sugar And Spice And Everything Is Fucked
21. What Do You Want From Me?
22. Because I Had You
23. Golden
24. Perfectly Wrong
25. Muddy Waters
26. The World According To Sloan
27. Now Or Never
28. Thinking Out Loud
29. Some Type Of Love
30. Say When
31. Jump
32. Push & Pull
33. If You Stay
34. Choose Me
35. Collateral Damage
36. Better Than Yourself
37. The Fire
38. Half Of Me
39. Tick, Tick—Boom
40. Nothing But Trouble
41. Stalemate
42. Retribution
43. Blind
44. Heal
45. Straight To You
About the Author
Also by Cole Lepley
Playlist
“Muddy Waters” – LP
“This Love” – Camilla Cabello
“Broken Whisky Glass” – Post Malone
“Shameless” – The Weekend
“Day ‘N’ Night” – Kid Cudi
“Heathens” – Twenty One Pilots
“Make It Rain” – Ed Sheeran
“Don’t Let Me Down” – The Chainsmokers feat. Daya
“Smoke Clouds” – James Arthur
Prologue
Perry- Then
Every time she snaps her gum, cotton candy fills the air. I’m not sure why I’m staring at her lips right now. Well, she is talking. That could be a good excuse, right?
That won’t work though. What I really need is a distraction. I shouldn’t be sitting on the roof of my best friend’s garage with his little sister smoking Newports past her curfew. But that’s the thing about me, I guess. I don’t always make the best decisions.
Her brother Jeremy and I never talked about it, but it was always a given that his sister Tess was off-limits to us. That includes our other friend, Walker. If I’m being honest though, I kind of think they have a thing going on. No solid proof, but a strong suspicion. The three of us are more like brothers than friends, and Tess fits in right along with us. The perfect addition to our group and with very limited girl drama to bring with her. That’s a win in my book. I even insist on calling her by her last name. I think it’s because it solidifies the fact that she’s basically a dude to me. But tonight, she doesn’t look like a dude.
Not. At. All.
She hands the cigarette back and I take a long drag. Her curious, pale blue eyes watch me the entire time, but I keep staring forward. She’s waiting for a response. The reason I came here was to forget about my recent break-up with my on and off again girlfriend, Sloan. This is probably the fiftieth time she left me in the two years that we’ve been together. Evidently, at the tender age of seventeen, I’m supposed to have my shit together. Or so she says. Tess thinks Sloan is an evil whore and I should just move on already. Easier said than done.
I catch Tess playing with her hair out of the corner of my eye. She smooths out the edges of the dyed jet-black strands and then lets it fall back on her shoulders. I laugh, nudging her slightly.
“Are you waiting for me to respond to that?” I cock my head to her and she tucks her hair behind her ears.
“You asked what I think you should do about Sloan, and I told you.” She steals the cigarette back and shrugs. “It’s up to you what you do with my amazing girl knowledge.”
I laugh again. “Amazing girl knowledge? Please, Bishop. What do you know about relationships, anyway?”
My words cause her to tense at my side. Her nose scrunches up and her cheeks flush red.
“You’re a dick, Perry. I take back what I said.” She turns and faces me full-on. “You deserve to be treated like shit.”
She pushes up on her palms to stand and I grab her wrist with a sigh. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’m acting like a fucking asshole.”
The tension is her arm subsides, and she sits back down. When she looks over at me expectantly, I light another cigarette. I watch the smoke billow out over the rooftop for a moment before I speak.
“I’m tired of feeling this way with her.” I laugh bitterly. “The fucked up thing is, I really love her.
Tess rolls her eyes. “You like the way she looks. There’s no possible way you could like her for her personality.”
I take another drag, ignoring her assumption altogether. The simple fact is, I like Sloan for a different reason. Even though every curve of her body is banging, and truth be told, I could never turn down a blonde with a bitchy attitude, that’s still not what draws me to her. Despite how fucking annoying her nagging and complaining is, she makes me want to be better. Pleasing Sloan has been a full-time job, and lately, I haven’t been doing very well at it.
Tess sighs. “Okay, you big cry baby. I’m sorry for not being more sensitive to your feelings.”
I arch an eyebrow and she giggles, shoving me in the arm. I sway to the side and keep the look of irritation on my face. It’s not real, but she doesn’t know that. I actually like when she messes with me. It makes me feel better for not having the balls to stand up to a hundred and ten-pound girl with obvious daddy issues.
Tess’s expression turns more serious as she clasps her hands in her lap. “You want to know what I really think?”
I nod.
She looks up at me through her thick eyelashes and holds my stare. “I think Sloan tries to make you into something you’re not and I don’t like that. I like the person you are and fuck her if she thinks you should change.”
I let out a whistle. “Well, shit. I didn’t realize you thought so highly of me.”
Her eyes flare in annoyance, but then she smiles. It lights up her entire face and for a second I forget what I’m upset about. For a brief moment, sitting up here on this roof makes me feel normal. I don’t have to worry about all the ways I disappoint my father on a daily basis, or be hounded about college from Sloan. Right now I feel perfect and I know exactly what I’m going to do.
Fuck it up like everything else.
Later that night, the rain is pouring down outside the sliding glass doors to my back porch. I’ve been staring out into the darkness for so long
I think for a moment I might be seeing things. But sure enough, right on cue, Sloan appears, tapping on the glass. Her clothes are soaked from the rain and her hair is clinging to her face.
For a moment I consider leaving her out there, but I could never do that. I grit my teeth and stand up from my chair to let her in. Before I can even slide the door all the way back, she throws her arms around my neck. Her entire body is shaking, but I can’t tell if it’s from the cold, or the tears that are falling down her cheeks. I prepare myself for the speech that’s about to come.
“I’m so sorry, Perry,” she chokes out between sobs. She looks up at me with mascara running down her face. “I don’t know why I keep doing this. I hate this so much right now.”
I don’t know why she keeps doing this either, but then again, I’m not the one ending our relationship every other week.
With a heavy sigh, I pull her the rest of the way inside. After shrugging off my hoodie, I drape it over her shoulders and run my hands down her arms.
“I can’t keep doing this, Sloan.”
Her eyes flick up to mine and if I were smart, I would look away.
But I’m not smart.
“I know,” she whispers, wiping the black smudges from under her eyes. She leans into me again and wraps her arms around my waist. “I love you. I only want to be with you.”
Every part of me is screaming to tell her to get fucking lost, but I don’t. Honestly, I don’t think I ever will. For as long as Sloan keeps coming back, I’m going to let her. She knows it as well as I do, and I don’t think that will ever change.
“I know, baby,” I say, my voice heavy. I kiss her temple and rest my chin on the top of her head. “I love you, too.”
Her grip tightens around me and just like that, Sloan owns me again. She always does. She tortures every piece of my tattered soul with the promise of forever, but never really gives it to me.
So, I wait until the day she finally does.
1
Wish You Were Here
Perry- Now
Staring at the small box, my hand shakes in anger. I don’t have a choice not to check it. I grip the pen so tight the tips of my fingers turn white as the words taunt me.
#14. Have you ever committed a felony? If so, explain below.
Really? Like explaining why I did it is going to make any fucking difference. The short answer—I’m not getting the job. With a frustrated grunt, I throw the pen across the room and crumble the paper in my hands. This earns me a sideways glance from Rob, the other mechanic I work with at my dad’s auto dealership, as he walks into the break room.
“Tough day already,” he remarks with a smirk while pouring a cup of coffee.
I force a smile. “Nope, everything’s perfect.” After stepping around him, I stomp into the parking lot for a smoke. Granted, I’ve only been at work for about thirty minutes, but when your dad is the boss you tend to stretch the boundaries a little. In my case, I stretch them a lot.
Just as I’m taking the first drag, I hear a familiar voice behind me.
“Working hard, eh son?”
I close my eyes tight and release an angry breath through my nose. When I turn around he’s adjusting his tie and waiting for a response.
“What’s with you people today? Can’t a guy just take minute to himself? Fuck.”
My father raises an eyebrow. “Geez, what’s your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem.”
His expression softens a little. “Is this about Sloan?”
My nostrils flare. I saw the engagement announcement this morning while looking for jobs I’ll never get. “No, it’s not about her.”
“You sure?” he pries, stepping closer. “It’s okay if it is. You two were together for a long time and I always thought you would end up together.”
Clenching my jaw like a vice grip, I hold my tongue. Instead, I take another drag. The look of disgust is clear on his face. He never did like this habit of mine. Actually, he never likes anything that I do.
I swallow hard. “Yeah, well, things fucking change.”
His warm, brown eyes squint into the sunlight for a moment before directing back down at me. “Is this about Walker’s memorial…”
That’s when I lose it. I toss my cigarette to the ground in anger. “Jesus, dad. What are you trying to do here?”
He shakes his head quickly, clearly affected by my mounting rage. “I didn’t mean anything. I’m just trying to figure out what your problem is lately.”
I throw my arms out. “I don’t have a problem, okay?” I let them fall against my sides and then motion to the back door. “Can I get back to work now or do you want to continue to list all the things that are fucked up in my life right now?”
He takes a minute to compose himself and speaks in a softer tone. “It would be nice if you expressed an emotion other than anger for once. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”
This causes me to laugh. “You never fucking did.” I don’t wait for his reply before I stalk in the back entrance and slam the door behind me.
Seven monotonous hours later, I trade in my shop clothes for a worn pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. The weather in New Haven has been holding out and I’m about to take advantage of it. I recently got my license back, so the withdrawal I had from my Harley can finally be over. After making a lap around town, I ride down my friend Austin’s street. I see him dicking around in the driveway, so I pull in.
He grins over at me with a backward cap and a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth. “Hey, man,” he calls to me as I’m shutting off the bike. “You looking for trouble,” he teases.
I laugh, walking over to him and lighting a cigarette of my own. “Always, man.” I nod to the car he’s standing next to. Parts are strewn across the driveway and his hands are black with grease. “Need some help?”
He smiles. “That would be awesome.” He scratches his head, looking under the hood as he speaks. “I can’t figure it out. It won’t turn over.”
“Let me take a look,” I offer, stepping around him. I lean over the engine and see the problem almost immediately. He’s lucky I’m here. He was way off.
Not even twenty minutes later, the car runs great and we’re celebrating by sitting on his porch drinking beer. I can’t think of a better way to end a Monday.
I catch him glancing over at me a couple times, but he doesn’t say anything. Austin has been a good friend since high school, not as close as Jeremy and Walker were, but a decent friend nonetheless. Honestly, he’s one of the only ones I have left.
“Go ahead and say it,” I say, taking a long pull of my beer. I look over at him and he presses his lips into a hard line. He stares down at his can for a moment before he speaks.
“You going on Saturday?”
I swallow the lump in throat. I haven’t even gotten the courage to talk to Tess yet. How can I possibly show up at her husband’s memorial service?
Instead of answering, I shake my head.
“I think you should.”
My leg bounces as emotions I don’t want to feel surge through me. It hits me in waves. Right about the time I stop thinking about it, I remember again.
“I know.”
His eyebrows pull in. “You know?” He leans forward in his chair beside me. “Perry, he was your best friend. Regardless of how things were when you left, you have to go.”
My jaw ticks and I tilt back the rest of my beer. “Why did she wait so long, anyway? It’s been six months.”
Austin shrugs. “I don’t know. It was hard for her… for everybody. I think she just needed time.” He pauses, looking off in the yard at nothing in particular. “The funeral was pretty brutal. It always sucks to lose someone that young, but it was so unexpected. And after Jeremy… well, let’s just say Tess has been struggling.”
As soon as he says her name, I get that familiar squeezing in my chest. Sometimes when I think about her, it hurts so much I can barely breathe. The guilt I live w
ith consumes me. It’s my fault Walker died. Maybe not directly, but the shit he was into started with us. I wish he’d been smart enough not to keep doing it on his own.
God, I miss that asshole so fucking much right now.
Austin stands up from his chair and waves his empty can at me. “I need another. You want one?”
“No,” I say, standing. “I need to get going.”
“Okay, then.” He looks unsure for a moment and then places his hand on my shoulder. “Think about it, all right? You’ll regret it if you don’t go.”
All I can do is nod. I know he’s right, but I’m not about to sit and explain all the reasons I feel like I can’t. There’s only one person who knows how deep we all fell, and we don’t even talk anymore.
The next day, I find myself driving down a familiar street. It’s raining today, so I stole—or I mean, borrowed a car from my dad. As I pull along the curb, the letters of the sign above the shop make my breath catch in my throat. Bishop’s is spelled out in intricate Old English letters above the tattoo parlor Walker owned with Tess. Although when they got married, Tess was no longer a Bishop, they wanted to pay homage to Jeremy. The simple fact is, she’ll always be Bishop to me.
I reach into my pocket and pull out the photo stuffed in my wallet. It’s folded in fours and the edges are worn, but it’s my favorite. Walker, Jeremy, and I are all standing triumphantly next to the derby car we built senior year. Tess would be in it too, but she’s the one who took the picture. I remember everything about that day. It was the last one Jeremy ever had.
