by Kwan, Coleen
Yesterday, when Jacinta couldn’t get that ring off and started hinting that they could be more, he’d panicked. Yeah, he could admit that now. He’d plain freaked out. Seeing that ring stubbornly stuck on her finger had made him lose his head and say things he didn’t mean. He didn’t know how love was supposed to work, he didn’t want to risk getting hurt, and what if she didn’t love him the way he loved her?
But what if he went to her now and asked—begged—for a second chance? Could he risk getting kicked in the teeth? Before he could think, he was already on his feet, instinct ahead of intellect.
Just then, his cell phone beeped. He answered it impatiently, but seconds later he froze as he listened in growing horror to Hazel his grandmother’s housekeeper.
Nana Alice had suffered a heart attack not long ago. Within minutes an ambulance had raced her to the local hospital near Mariposa, but now she was about to be airlifted to UCSF Medical Center, where she was due to arrive within the hour.
When the call ended, Lex slumped back in his chair. The office felt dark and cold as dread closed in on him. He was responsible for Nana’s heart attack. His inability to trust had led to that blowup in the library, which must have triggered Nana’s collapse. His hands shook as he gripped the cell phone tighter. Jacinta. If only he could call her for support, but he’d lost her. Maybe he’d lose his grandmother too. No. He drew in several deep breaths as he fought for self-control.
God help him, he couldn’t sit here whimpering like a baby. There were things to do. He forced himself to his feet and loped down two floors to Kirk’s office, where he tapped on the door. His cousin looked up in surprise from his desk.
“Lex. Didn’t expect you here.” He rose to his feet, his wariness changing to alarm. “What’s wrong?”
In a few brief sentences, Lex gave him the bad news. “I’m heading out to the hospital right away. Can you let your dad and Holly know what’s happened?”
“I’ll go with you. Dad and Holly aren’t in the office today. I’ll call them while you drive us to the hospital.” Kirk grabbed his jacket before pausing to look at Lex. “If that’s okay with you?”
Lex blinked. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were crawling in afternoon traffic. Kirk had made his calls, and now there was only thorny silence between them as Lex lane-hopped and grimaced at the banked-up cars in front of them.
“Have you told Jacinta?” Kirk suddenly asked.
Lex kept his eyes straight ahead. “No.”
“Why not? She’d want to know about Nana Alice.”
Hell. He did not want to discuss Jacinta now of all times, not when his stomach was churning and his chest felt filled with lead. But even in the middle of this crisis he couldn’t stop thinking of her, wishing for her, remembering what she’d wanted him to do. Trust your family.
Traffic had ground to a halt. Maybe this was his opportunity. Lex took a deep breath. “There’s something I need to tell you,” he said abruptly.
“Yeah?”
“The company isn’t doing as well as we used to think. Since I took over my dad’s position, I’ve been uncovering a few tough truths. Basically, my father was covering up for our falling profits by overinflating the value of some of our assets.”
He went on to outline what he had discovered in the past few months, not skimping on the details. At the end of his explanation, he waited for his cousin’s reaction.
Kirk drummed his fingers on the armrest. “So we need a fresh injection of capital. And we need to get our books in order before we renegotiate our bank loans. Might be some short-term pain, but that can’t be avoided.”
Lex’s eyebrows shot up. He hadn’t expected his cousin to go straight to the possible solutions. The traffic began to move again, and he eased out the clutch.
“Aren’t you going to criticize my dad’s dishonesty? And me hiding it from everyone?”
Kirk frowned. “Yes, your dad was reckless and stupid, but I understand why you tried to cover up for him. It’s the same reason why your dad covered for mine when he almost bankrupted the foundation. Family loyalty. It makes us do stupid things, huh? Even though our dads didn’t get along, they stood by each other. And even though you had problems with your dad, you couldn’t bring yourself to expose his failings.”
Lex jerked his head up. “You knew about my problems with Dad?”
“How blind do you think I am?” Kirk lifted his eyebrows. “I don’t know how you put up with all that pressure he used to lay on you. I was kind of glad he didn’t pay me much attention, though paradoxically, I hated being ignored and pushed aside.”
“Huh.” Lex eyed his cousin closely. “What about the fact that I didn’t trust you or Holly or Uncle Ralph?”
Kirk lifted his shoulders. “Listen, I was angry yesterday. We all were. But I realize now you had your reasons for suspecting it was one of us. Hell, I’d never have guessed it was Nancy Bird in a million years.”
“I’m not too keen on taking her to court, not after what my dad did to her.”
Kirk nodded. “I agree. We don’t need the bad publicity, especially now.” He hesitated. “Uh, there’s something I need to get off my chest. Something you won’t like.”
“Go ahead. Seems today is the day for bad news.”
Kirk cleared his throat. “The thing is, a few weeks ago I was going through a bad time. I was sick of you treating me like I was incompetent. I thought you didn’t want me back at all.” He shifted in his seat. “So I approached another company about a possible job.”
Lex narrowed his eyes at his cousin. “VHL?”
Kirk gaped. “You knew?”
“Lucky guess.” Not for anything in the world would he admit he’d had his cousin’s emails monitored. But at least he hadn’t read any of them, because deep down he’d wanted badly to trust him. And his instinct had been right. “So what happened?”
“I exchanged a few emails with the CEO, but in the end I couldn’t do it. Our company and this family still mean a lot to me.” Kirk’s mouth turned down at the corners. “It was a crappy, underhanded thing to do. I’m ashamed of myself.”
“Hey, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. Just look at me.”
Kirk nodded slowly. “I’m glad we had this talk.”
“Me too.” Lex cleared his throat. “Should have had it years ago.”
Kirk dragged a hand over his face. “You, me, Holly, Dad—we’re to blame for Nana’s heart attack. All that drama yesterday must have stressed her out.” His voice lowered. “She’s going to be all right, isn’t she?”
“Hell yeah,” Lex answered roughly. He had to believe that. He stepped on the gas. Thank God the traffic was thinning. The hospital wasn’t far now. “She’s tougher than she looks.”
Kirk nodded. “She’s survived a lot. And she won’t want to miss anything now you and Jacinta are tying the knot.”
The leaden weight in Lex’s chest re-formed, and he could only manage a grunt.
Why hadn’t his cousin guessed that his reunion with Jacinta had been a complete sham? And then he knew why—he hadn’t been faking it. All along, subconsciously, he’d wanted the reunion to work.
Maybe it could still work. Half an hour ago, he’d been on his feet, ready to charge after Jacinta when the call about his nana had come through. His heart thudded painfully. He couldn’t lose either one of them. For Nana Alice he’d have to put his faith in modern medicine, but for Jacinta it was all up to him.
He had to go to her, talk to her, tell her how he really felt. His stomach rolled in a queasy slide at the thought of baring his imperfect soul for the first time ever and to the person who meant the most to him. But if he didn’t, he’d have to live with this burning hollow inside him forever, and that was even worse.
Chapter Fourteen
Jacinta slouched in front of her TV, drained from all the activity she’d forced upon herself in the past few days, but still unable to shake her depression. The evening news was just
wrapping up when there was a knock at her door. She sighed, wondering if Kevin had forgotten his keys again. But when she opened the door, her heart seized up. It wasn’t her brother.
“Hello, Jacinta,” Lex said.
The first thing she noticed was the deep shadows under his eyes. Then his two-day stubble, the half-knotted tie, the lines carved into his face. Her body went cold.
“Lex? What’s happened?” Because just one look at him told her that something bad had occurred.
“Mind if I come in?”
She nodded and stepped back to let him in. “Are you sick?” she asked. A faint sheen coated his forehead, and his hair stood up in dark, damp clumps.
He shook his head. “It’s my grandmother. She collapsed yesterday at Mariposa with a heart attack. She’s here at the UCSF Medical Center. She’s stable now but still very weak.”
“I’m so sorry.” She bit down on her lip to steady herself. “Will she be all right?”
“She had an angiogram last night. They did an angioplasty to remove a blockage from her artery.” He frowned and examined his shoes. “She was on morphine all of yesterday, but she’s a lot better now.”
“You’ve been up since yesterday?” A rhetorical question—it was obvious by Lex’s haggard appearance that he’d been awake for more than twenty-four hours straight. Her heart squeezed as she fought down the impulse to wrap her arms around him. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Wine?”
“My grandmother’s been asking for you. She wants to see you. I’ve tried to dissuade her, but she’s very insistent. She can’t seem to settle until you visit her. Will you come?”
She didn’t bother to answer, just dashed to her bedroom to pick up her purse and denim jacket. In a few minutes they were in Lex’s car and speeding toward the hospital. The drive seemed to take forever, but at long last they arrived at the hospital, where Lex swooped the car into the first available spot before hurrying her inside.
“She was in ICU until this afternoon,” Lex said as they speed-walked down a crowded corridor, “but she’s been transferred to a private room.”
“What about your uncle and cousins? Are they here as well?”
“Everyone’s here. Hazel, too, and some of the relatives.”
They arrived at a waiting room, and she saw it was crowded with the people he’d just mentioned. She exchanged dazed nods with some of them before Lex hurried her on. He came to an abrupt halt in front of a door.
“She’s in here.” He plunged his fingers through his hair as though he’d done it a thousand times already that day. “Jacinta, I haven’t had time yet to tell her about...us.”
She gulped as her heart sank further. “I kind of guessed that or she wouldn’t be asking for me. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to upset her.”
“I know it’s a lot to ask—”
She held up her hand to silence him. “I care about her too.”
Without waiting for his reply, she brushed past him and pushed open the door. The sight of Lex’s grandmother lying in bed attached to tubes and bags and surrounded by blinking monitors brought her up short. Hazel beckoned her to come closer before retiring to an armchair in the corner.
“Nana Alice? It’s me, Jacinta.” Hesitantly she touched the hand that lay on the sheet like a fallen autumn leaf.
For a moment she thought Nana Alice was fast asleep, but then the papery eyelids flickered open. “Jacinta? Is that really you?”
“Yes, it’s me. Lex brought me.” She shot a glance at Lex’s shadowy figure standing on the other side of the bed. “I came as soon as I heard. I’m so glad you’re awake.”
“So am I, child.” A smile flitted across Nana Alice’s pallid face. Her fingers twitched on the sheet, then tugged at Jacinta’s hand. “You’re a much more welcome sight than all those doctors and nurses fussing over me.”
“I won’t stay long. You need to rest.”
“I’ve been resting all day. I wanted to see you.” She plucked at Jacinta’s hand again. “Why, what’s happened to your ring, child?”
Jacinta’s lungs constricted . “It’s, um, it’s with Lex until we get it adjusted. It’s, uh, a little tight for me. I don’t have your lovely, slender fingers.”
“Oh, you have beautiful fingers.” She sighed, and her face relaxed. “You must come and visit me with the ring on as soon as it’s fixed. I know I’m being silly and sentimental, but you’ll humor an old woman, won’t you?”
“Of course.” What else could she say?
“You and Lex make such a darling couple. I know he can be very difficult, and sometimes you probably want to throttle him, but he’s so in love with you, and he’d do anything for you.” She squeezed Jacinta’s hand. “But why am I telling you this? You know it already.”
Jacinta’s throat was too clogged for her to speak. She lifted her eyes and met Lex’s tired, relieved gaze across the bed. She wanted to throttle him right there and then. He was only looking at her like that because he was grateful for her visiting his grandmother; that was all.
“You should rest now, Nana,” Lex said.
“I’ll be right as rain in no time, you know,” she murmured as her eyelids fluttered closed. “Nothing is going to stop me seeing the two of you get married. Not even death.”
Jacinta clapped a hand over her mouth. If she didn’t get out of here, she might spill the truth. She backed away from the bed, then turned and pushed her way blindly out of the room. In the corridor, she leaned against a wall to regather herself. A moment later the door to Nana Alice’s room swung open and Lex appeared.
All the emotion and stress she’d tamped down for the past hour welled up.
“You have to tell her the truth as soon as possible,” she hissed at him. “I can’t do this...”
She couldn’t go through the pain of saying good-bye to him again and again. It was too much. She turned away, unable to even look at him.
“I’ll tell her.” His voice was wooden. He shuffled his feet and jingled the keys in his pocket. “Jacinta, I was wondering if...”
She folded her arms, keeping her gaze on the far wall, her body tight with suspense. “What?”
“I tore up that confidentiality agreement you signed.”
“Oh.” She blinked, confused and hurting. “You want me to sign another one?”
His eyes widened. “No, I...” He ruffled his hair. “I don’t know why I said that. Uh—thanks for coming.”
She couldn’t bear this stilted conversation a second longer. It was clear he didn’t want to talk to her, now that he’d satisfied his grandmother’s wishes. Well, good. She didn’t want to hang around with him any more than she had to.
Hitching her bag over her shoulder, she turned her back on him. “I’ll be on my way, then.”
“I’ll give you a ride—”
“No, don’t bother. I’ll take a taxi.” She forced herself to walk away, head held high. “I’m sure you’d rather be here.”
He didn’t follow her, and with each step she took away from him, her heart shriveled a little more until it felt like a hard, wrinkled walnut buried in her chest.
…
Damn everything to hell. He was screwing this up every which way.
Lex stared after Jacinta as she hurried away from him. To his confused and overactive imagination, she was walking out of his life forever, and if he didn’t do something now, she would disappear and he’d never get this chance again. But what the hell should he do?
He shoved his fingers through his hair a couple of times and then skulked after her. He didn’t have a clue, but he hoped like hell inspiration would hit him before it was too late. She reached the waiting room, where Kirk went up to her and said something. She replied and then continued on, heading away.
Shit, he had to act now.
Suddenly his legs were running. He sped across the waiting room and almost collided with his cousin Holly. She squealed and glared at him, but he shot past her. Jacinta paused and turned, no doubt because of t
he commotion, and in a split second he realized he was about to cannon into her. He did the only thing possible to avoid collision. He dropped to his knees and came to a skidding halt right in front of her.
Jacinta stared down at him as if he were crazy. He was crazy. Crazy in love with her, and here he was on his knees, willing to confess his feelings if she’d only listen to him. But what words could he use to convey his seething emotions?
“Jacinta...”
She pursed her lips, looking skittish and ready to bolt. Shit. His mind was a total blank. He couldn’t think of a single, adequate word. He was the CEO of a billion dollar company, but this woman had him tongue-tied. Then, it hit him, and he knew what he could do to show her how he felt. The idea made his gut screw up, but hell, he had nothing else but this, so he had to give it a try.
He cleared his throat, which felt incredibly dry and tight. He moistened his lips. He started to sing “Hard to Say I’m Sorry.”
Holy hell, was that his voice warbling out? He never realized how crappy he was at singing. If only he had backup singers or a piano player, but he had nothing. Nothing, except blind desperation.
His voice faltered. He paused to clear his throat again. Jacinta’s eyes were like saucers, and the packed waiting room had fallen silent. All his relatives were staring at him, plus about twenty strangers. He felt their eyes drilling into his back as sweat prickled beneath his shirt and broke out on his palms. He felt stupid and clownish and bumbling, but wait...was that a glimmer of something in Jacinta’s eyes? Even if it was only amusement, it was something, at least.
He drew in another breath and launched into the song once more. This time, he sang with more gusto, and he was just as crappy as before, only louder. His off-key singing echoed in the beige room, the smell of disinfectant filling his nostrils with every breath. More people wandered into the waiting room, their faces wincing as he cracked the high notes, and a little girl clapped her hands over her ears in protest. But he didn’t care because all his attention was focused on the woman standing in front of him and the emotions playing across her face.
He came to the chorus again and stretched his arms out. He was sorry and he could never let her go, and didn’t she know that now he was kneeling in front of her singing his heart out in front of all these people?
