“I need to stay sober for this, Vivian.” Boyce ran a hand through his hair. “You’re not a child and you know what is going on here. It can’t happen but we both feel it.”
“Is it my age?” I asked him softly as Boyce looked bitterly at me.
“It’s so much more than that, Vivian. You are the best friend of my daughter that lives in our house. Yes, you are underage but even if you weren’t…I would need to stop this. Your dad was one of my best friends and I can’t imagine what he’d think about this.” Boyce shook his head and looked at the table. “I don’t want to see you with anyone else, but I know you can’t be mine.”
CHAPTER 5
Boyce
I looked up in shock as she told me that she heard me at night. Sweet Vivian told me that she touched herself to the sound of me with other women and I stared at her as she stammered and blushed. I refused to see her in this light and pushed the words out of my head. “I won’t bring anyone home anymore. I have an apartment down here I’ll take them to.”
“That’s where you sleep when Bella is at friends for the night. I wondered why you didn’t come home at night.” Vivian murmured as I sipped my tea. I needed a fucking whiskey with this conversation.
“It’s easier when I work late sometimes, Vivian. I know you’re safe there, both of you. I had a state-of-the-art alarm system put in when I lost…Nora. I can look at the house anytime I need to, and I would get an alert of anything happened. I set it up that way to keep you safe and now I think it’s staying away from you.” I lifted my eyes to look at her and she was staring back at me with wide eyes. “I never meant for this to happen.”
“Nothing has happened,” she insisted, and I shook my head.
“It won’t happen. We will never happen.” I was firm as she jerked back and nodded. I knew that by saying that I was sending her into the army of kids at her school, boys that would hurt her. I knew that I was giving Vivian up but there were so many red flags in this situation. Even if she was going to be eighteen in six months due to staying back in school when her parents passed away, I could not touch her the way I wanted to.
The waitress brought our plates just then and set them down, ending the conversation as Vivian tucked a strand of silky hair behind her ear. Once we were alone again, I watched her push the food around her plate as she took a few small bites. I ate half of my dinner and asked for boxes for the rest as Vivian pushed her plate away. We walked to the car quietly and I drove us home as she shrank against the door for the several minutes that the commute took us. I didn’t know what to say and she seemed like she was feeling awkward as well.
I pulled into the driveway and parked in the garage before she jumped out of the car. “Do you need me at the office tomorrow?” Vivian asked as I nodded, looking at me with stricken eyes before she went inside. I took the food into the house, noting that Bella was home for the night. I put the food away and poured myself the whiskey that I’d been craving all day, shooting it back with a jerk of my neck. I hadn’t turned to alcohol since Nora’s death and even then, I kept it in control. I poured another glass and took it to my room and out to the balcony, sipping it slowly. “Dad? Are you okay?” Bella’s voice carried through the open doors and I glanced at her. She looked so much like Nora and even more guilt flooded my mind.
“Fine. Why?” I asked as she stepped out and looked at the sky.
“Vivian seems like she’s in a bad mood, too. I think she’d fighting with her flavor of the month but who knows?” Bella leaned against the railing and looked out. “Is everything all right at the office?”
“It’s great, Bell. Just a long day. How are you?” I barely saw my only daughter these days and I tried not to think about her enticing best friend downstairs.
“I’m so good, Dad. The play is going great and I think I brought my grades to all B’s. I want to go to Juilliard so bad.” She smiled at me and I nodded as I reached out and touched her hair. Bella was a year younger than Vivian was and I tried not to notice the difference between the girls.
“I know, sweetheart. You deserve that.” I assured her as she hugged me. “Your mom would be so proud of you.”
“I wish I could tell her about this. I wish she could see it. I think that Viv needs her sometimes, too. She lost both of her parents.” I was reminded of the harsh truth as my daughter spoke. I was Vivian’s caretaker because my best friend died with his wife.
“Just be there for her as much as you can. You girls are growing up so fast now and everything is going to happen so fast.” I felt the sadness at being alone here kicking in and wondered what parent looked forward to that. They made me worry more than I ever thought I’d have to, but it was good to see them turning into women. I knew that a lot of that was my fault with the feelings that I was fighting for Vivian.
“I don’t think she’s going to move for college. How can I be there for her?” Bella asked sadly as I smiled.
“She has the opportunity to go wherever she wants. We’ll see what happens,” I hugged her before Bella pulled away and gave me a soft smile.
“Good night. I love you, Dad.” I told her that I loved her as well as I felt like a pervert for wanting her friend. I finished my drink and brought the glass inside, setting it down on the table. I stepped into the bathroom to shower, reaching down to grip my cock as I moved under the hot water. I closed my eyes and imagined Vivian in bed, touching herself as I fucked a woman upstairs. She was so pale, and I imagined her nipples to be a dark pink and tightened my hand. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” I murmured as I imagined her full tits and fingers touching that sweet clit. I cried out as I jerked forward, coming hard. It probably felt better than any woman since Nora and I let out a groan at the thought of my wife. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
I finished the shower and dressed in some shorts before dropping onto my bed. I felt guilty for jacking off, but I was a man and I needed to work Vivian out of my system somehow. I turned on the television and checked my phone to make sure that everyone was set for the night before setting the alarm.
I noticed that I only saw Vivian at the office and at dinner sometimes. She was always out, and I assumed that she was with friends or boyfriends. She was civil to me at first and then we fell into a pattern of conversing a little more as I pretended that the night at the restaurant ever happened. The holidays came and went with the usual family coming over and I noted that neither of the girls invited anyone. They just chatted with the cousins and Vivian stayed as far away from me as she could.
It seemed like minutes passed and they were starting their Senior year. I’d explained that they could go to any school they chose to without any concerns of money before the year started and could reach for their dreams and I looked at Vivian for a long moment across the dinner table, knowing that was what her parents planned for her. She nodded, and Bella mentioned that she was going to try to audition for Juilliard as soon as possible. Vivian didn’t say much, excusing herself to go to her room as I watched her for a fleeting second. “Do you know her plans?” I asked Bella as she shrugged.
“I think she’s going to stay local. She mentioned that she really liked working in your office.” Bella never wanted to work downtown with me and I saw her frown. “I know you do well with it, Dad. You love it but it’s hard for me to picture Vivian doing something like that. She was always so into art when we were younger.”
I remembered that and thought back fondly to Vivian’s paintings and drawings. That seemed to stop after the accident and I sipped my coffee as I mulled that over. “Perhaps she enjoys the more technical aspect of things now. It’s still art, Bella.”
I cleaned up the table with her and set the dishes in the washer before shutting off the lights and going upstairs. The alarm was set for the windows and doors, but everyone knew the code if they went anywhere. I dropped to my bed and powered on my laptop to try to get some work done tonight, my mind heavy with thoughts. In months, they would be graduating and moving on with their lives. I’d be alone, and I
went into my work email as I sighed. I didn’t think that it would feel like this.
CHAPTER 6
Vivian
I pretended that I was enjoying my last year in high school. I dated a few guys, but nothing serious. I just needed a man to fill the void that filled me once I knew that Boyce wanted me as much as I did him. I knew that he did and wouldn’t do anything about it, leaving me feeling empty.
Bella kept on as she had been, performing a lot and getting her audition to Juilliard. I went with her to the audition, sneaking off to the side to watch her as she performed a heart-wrenching, emotional monologue from one of her favorite plays. I knew that she was in.
I opted for a degree in Graphic Design and wanted to stay around Maryland. There were a few colleges that would be easy to get into and I could live on my own for the first time in my life. It wasn’t like Boyce had strict rules once we were older and driving, but I was thinking more about an apartment. My parents left me plenty of money for that, so much so that I didn’t even need to go to college. I’d be fine.
I ended up going to Morgan State and Bella and I left the house a week apart from one another. She drove to her little apartment that she was renting from a friend of her father’s and her car was packed with what she’d need to get by until her furniture was delivered. We had all gone to dinner the night before and I slept in her room that night watching movies and reminiscing. I cried the next day when I hugged her goodbye and Boyce told her to drive safely before hugging her one more time.
Once her little red SUV was gone, I sniffled and walked into the house. My room was half packed for my trip to my own apartment in the cute little area near the college. I was excited but sad that I wouldn’t have Bella there when I needed her. I had a few casual friends in college and knew that I’d see them, but nobody knew me like Bella did. I didn’t even leave high school with any great memories of any man other than Boyce.
It was always Boyce.
I watched television in my room and cried about Bella leaving. I cried about leaving this house and the fantasy that I’d had about the man that I was walking away from. I fell asleep to some late-night show, exhausted from all the emotions of the last few days.
I missed my parents at my graduation even though Dad’s sister and Mom’s brother showed up to cheer me on. They both had small families and that’s all I had so I hugged them tightly and thanked them for coming. They gave me cards with money and joined us for dinner at one of the best steakhouses in town. It was a wonderful night, but I wasn’t into it. It just reminded me of what I didn’t have.
I spent as much time with Bella as I could during the summer before she left, and we vowed to visit each other as much as possible. I had a fling with a guy that worked in Ocean City and stayed at his place a few nights as we kept it going. I just needed to stay away from Boyce and make a clean start of things. His rejection stung to this day even though I knew that he was right to make that choice.
I agreed to have dinner with Boyce the night before I left even though it wasn’t far to go for my school. He took me to my favorite seafood place and we sat across from each other quietly. We talked about how fast Bella seemed to settle in to her apartment and the busy New York ways. She was thrilled there, and we talked to her as much as we could but not as much to each other. “Are you sure about the apartment?”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I stirred my tea with a straw. “School is an hour away. Boyce. I can’t commute every day.”
“I just have a hard time dealing with the idea of an empty house. Bella leaving hit me harder than I expected.” He smiled at me and I nodded slowly, seeing something in his eyes. “Come home and have dinner with me every once in a while.”
“Of course.” I agreed softly as I sipped my drink. “I just want to be close to campus, so I can get there for classes and hang out in the library. You know, nerd stuff. You can finally start living for you again, Boyce. You can date and do things without worrying about us.” I knew that he was staying in the apartment a lot, so I assumed that he was sleeping with someone. He could do it at home now and maybe get into a relationship.
“I’ll probably end up at the office all the time.” I looked harshly at him as he sipped his beer. I was driving tonight and letting him relax a little bit. He’d been so stressed since Bella left.
“No, Boyce. You’ve built that company into what it was and now it’s time for you to enjoy yourself.”
“I’m not retiring, Vivian. I’m just becoming an empty nester. Isn’t that what they call it?” He smiled sadly as he reached for a piece of bread and tore a piece off.
“You have done a great job of raising both of us. You’ve sacrificed a lot doing the job of four parents. It’s time for you.” I reached across the table to cover his hand with mine, leaning forward as electricity shot between us.
“I don’t want time for me. I want time for us,” he said in a low voice as the waitress brought us our food. I jerked back and watched as she set our platters in front of us, looking up as Boyce thanked her in a hoarse voice. Once we were alone, I licked my glossed lips and met his eyes.
“You’re doing this now?” I asked simply as I swirled some pasta around my fork, leaning forward to take a bite of the scampi.
“I’ve fought this, Vivian. More than you know.” Boyce cut into his steak deftly as I watched, aroused by his confidence. He was a man, not a boy. I’d fought it as well and I tried to think only about the food as we continued to eat. “I know that you need to go out into the world and live your life like any other adult, but it’s that fact that makes this hard.”
“Is this about me or Bella leaving?” I asked as I tucked my hair behind my ear.
“I miss her as one would for a daughter. I wish her mother could see what she’s accomplished. It’s different with you, even though it should be the exact fucking same. I have struggled with this Vivian.” I felt his leg brush against my bare skin under the table, feeling the heat through his slacks. “I’ve fucked so many women trying to get you out of my system, but I always see you in my head. I see you touching yourself.”
I dropped my fork and rested my head in my hands as he moved up my calf. “Boyce.”
“I am not going to pressure you. I’d never force myself on a woman and nor do I have to. Say the word and this stops.” I raised my eyes to his and knew that he was being sincere with me.
“I can’t,” I whispered as longing for him hit me, making me unable to breathe for a second.
We finished the meal as best we could, and I watched as Boyce ordered a second beer. I sipped the same tea once I couldn’t stomach anymore and looked on in confusion. He paid the bill with a card and stood to leave as I grabbed my purse and joined him. I felt the eyes of the women as we left together, looking like a father and daughter to most of the crowd. At least, I thought that. It was so far from the truth and I unlocked the door to his Porche as he headed to the passenger side. This car was a thrill to drive under normal circumstances but tonight my hands were shaking violently. I started the engine and concentrated on getting us home unharmed, not what might happen once we arrived.
I tried not to think about what I wanted to happen.
It was a short drive back to the house and I pulled onto the garage as I looked up at the house that I’d known as home for years now. It saddened me to know that I was leaving even though most girls my age would be excited about their own apartment. I watched as Boyce reached over to close the garage and our eyes locked for a moment as the light dimmed around us. The tension was so thick that I could cut it with a knife. “Come inside.” Boyce told me as he slid out of the car and closed the door. I followed suit and we walked into the kitchen as he dropped the keys on the counter, walking to the fridge for another beer.
“You’re going to get drunk,” I protested as he opened it and took a long sip. I remembered how worried Bella was when he started drinking after her mom died. He seemed to slow down, but I stepped forward and reached out to touch his
shoulder. Boyce lowered the bottle from his full lips and stared at me with a heat in his eyes that made me shudder.
“I’m not drunk,” Boyce assured me as he remained still, my hand over the soft blue cloth of his shirt. His skin was hot, and my finger throbbed as I stood there, staring at his neck. I remembered what he said about not pushing me and I gulped helplessly as I raised my eyes to his face. I should walk away. I should end this right now and go upstairs to finish packing. There would be plenty of guys in college to experiment with, but none of them would be Boyce.
I gripped him tightly, feeling his muscles tense under my hand. Boyce had a few inches on me and I lifted to slide my free hand up his chest and around his neck as his eyes darkened. I felt fear hit me and before it could stop me, I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. The contact hit my whole body and I held onto him as my knees threatened to buckle. Boyce slipped his arm swiftly around my back and pulled me closer to him, tilting his head to slowly deepen the kiss. I moaned as I parted my lips for him and he pressed me into the counter, slipping his tongue against mine.
I’d kissed a few guys in high school, even the older boy when I was in middle school. Nothing felt like this and I gave into him, feeling his tongue sweep my mouth as the taste of beer and mint hit me. He reached a hand down to cup my ass as I whimpered, squeezing gently as I kicked off my heels.
His lips were rough on mine as he eased my body up on the counter, stepping between my parted legs. I felt the dampness of my underwear as he kissed me one more time before pressing soft kisses to my face. “Are you wet for me, Vivian?"
My Best Friend's Dad Page 3
