Alex’s hands closed into fists and he punched the table top. “My father almost died,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “Your drug dealing ex-boyfriend almost had him killed for a piece of land that was supposed to increase his drug business. And you failed to mention that?”
“I didn’t want you to get hurt,” I stammered.
“Get hurt?” he snapped. “How involved are you in all this?”
“I’m not,” I said.
“Is that why you’re here?” he asked. “Is that why you’ve been hanging out with us. What was the plan? Get close enough and then what?”
“Alex, that’s not what this is,” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks, feeling guilty for not telling him sooner but angry at being accused of something so horrid, all at the same time.
“Then what is it?”
I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it again, unsure if anything I said right now would make an ounce of difference,
“Answer me!” His voice roared through the kitchen, and I heard a door open and close upstairs, quickly followed by a flutter of feet down the stairs. Kelly appeared behind her father, eyes wide and full of concern.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“Go to your room, Kelly,” Alex said, his eyes locked onto me.
Kelly looked at me, her concern giving way to fear. “Jenni?”
I sniffed, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “Kelly, I’m so sorry –”
“Don’t you fucking talk to her,” Alex shot. “Kelly, go to your room.”
“Not until someone tells me what’s going on,” Kelly replied, standing her ground.
Alex turned to her and grabbed her by the arm, shaking her. “I said, go to your fucking room!” he yelled.
The shock on Kelly’s face brought a fresh burst of tears from me as she stared at her father then looked at me. She whipped her hand out of his grip and raced out of the kitchen.
Alex turned back to me. “I said I want answers, Jenni.”
The front door opened and slammed closed, and Alex quickly turned around to see what was going on. “Kelly?”
From outside, a car door slammed closed and an engine started up.
“Kelly!” Alex yelled, racing out of the kitchen with me running close behind him. We rushed out the front door just as Kelly backed her father’s car out, turned the wheel around, and shot down the street with a screech of tires.
“Kelly!” I called after her.
“Fuck!” Alex yelled, pushing forcefully past me and running back into the house.
I barely made it to the front door when he came storming out again. “What are we going to do?” I asked, panicking at the thought of Kelly behind the wheel of a car.
“We are not going to do anything,” he snapped. “I’m going to take the truck and drive after her. You are going to go upstairs, pack whatever you have up there into a bag, and get the fuck out of my house.”
“Alex.”
He whirled around, his eyes burning with fury. “I want you gone by the time I get back, you understand? I don’t ever want to see you around me or my daughter again.”
With that, he raced down the steps, jumped into the Ford, and drove off after his daughter. I watched him leave, and when he turned the corner, I dropped to my knees and broke into tears.
Chapter 20: Alex
Why the fuck had I ever taught her how to drive, I had no idea.
I felt a raging headache overwhelm me, the veins in my head pounding incessantly, threatening to burst. My heart raced as I pushed down harder on the gas, willing the truck to move faster, taking wild guesses at every intersection as to which direction Kelly was driving in.
She lied to me. She stood there in my house, slept in my bed, and all the time, she had been lying to me.
I pushed the thought away. Right now, none of that mattered. My little girl was driving around town in a car she could barely control. If anything were to happen to her, I’d probably kill myself.
Then you probably shouldn’t have taught her how to drive.
“Shut up, Janice.”
The sun had almost set completely, and the streetlights flooded the roads in their orange glow. The worry found its way to every corner of my body. I had taught Kelly how to drive the car in cases of emergencies, but always during the daytime. Nighttime driving was a whole other issue.
The hospital. Check the hospital.
I doubted Kelly would be able to find her way there without stopping to ask someone, but then again, Kent wasn’t Miami, and if you took enough left and right turns, you were bound to get to where you wanted to go.
I turned left right down Elizabeth Road, making a mental not to check the bridge leading across the river next, and stepped on the gas. Luckily, there wasn’t much traffic around, and I was able to get hallway to the hospital before I caught sight of my car parked outside Kent Park. I slowed down, took the U-turn, and quickly pulled up next to it, jumping out quickly and rushing past the main gate.
My eyes scanned the empty picnic tables and park benches, the few people left already packing up and leaving as I looked for Kelly. I felt terrible for shouting at her, the first time it had ever happened, and I knew that that little outburst was bound to put a scar in our relationship I’d never be able to fix. I was more than ready to start blaming Jenni for all this when I began to panic. Kelly was nowhere to be found.
Maybe she just parked here and went across the street. The library?
I shook my head at the thought. If Kelly wanted to hide in the library, she would have parked at the library. She was smart, but not cunning enough to be able to throw people off like that. There were some things she was still too innocent to do.
The pond.
“Fuck, of course!”
I raced down the narrow path leading past the playground and cut through the trees, taking a short cross across the small hill that rose and then fell towards the duck pond. I only slowed down when I caught sight of her sitting by the edge of the pond, legs pulled up to her chest and rocking back and forth.
“Kelly?” I called to her when I was close enough for her to hear me.
She turned around, looked at me through watery eyes, and turned away again. “Leave me alone,” she stammered.
I felt my heart drop and sighed heavily as I approached her. “Kelly, what were you thinking?”
“I said leave me alone,” she repeated.
I ran a hand through my hair and sat down on the grass beside her, silently grateful that she didn’t move away from me. I looked out at the pond and didn’t say a word. We just sat there, quietly lost in our thoughts, neither of us willing to be the first to break the silence.
“You never shouted at me like that before,” she finally said, and when I looked at her, I could see the tears running down her cheek.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I said. “I didn’t mean to. I was angry at Jenni, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” she said, sniffing and wiping the tears away with the sleeve of her windbreaker. “And you shouldn’t have made Jenni cry.”
“Let’s leave that discussion for another time,” I said. “Jenni did a horrible thing, and I don’t think we’ll be seeing her anymore.”
“What?” She looked at me, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, chipmunk,” I whispered.
“Why?” she asked her lower lip quivering. “Why would you do that?”
“It’s hard to explain right now,” I replied.
“Try.”
“Kelly.”
“No!” she yelled. “You can’t do that! You can’t just tell me I can’t see her again without an explanation. I deserve an explanation!”
“Sweetie, I don’t have one,” I said. “Not one that will make sense to you.”
Kelly shook her head at me and covered her face with her hands. “You do that all the time.”
“Do what?”
“Think that you�
�re protecting me by not telling me things, and all that really happens is I get hurt.”
“Sweetie, what are you talking about?”
“Like when you got shot,” she said. “You acted like it was nothing, like you weren’t hurting. But I knew you were.”
I sighed, feeling like she was confusing two completely different things together. “Kelly, of course you knew I was hurting. You helped me through it.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what I meant,” she said. “I meant even before that. You always came home and told me these crazy stories about your day. You made it sound like you were just doing your job, but I understood what you were telling me. I understood the risks you were taking.”
“Understood what exactly?”
“That you want to die,” she sobbed.
I froze, staring at her in shock as her tears rolled down her face. She looked at me, meeting my gaze, challenging me to deny it. And the funny thing was, I couldn’t.
“I don’t remember mom, but you do,” she said. “And you carry her with you all the time. I hear you talk to yourself sometimes and say her name. I know you haven’t gotten over her death, and that every risk you take at work is like you’re hoping you’ll get shot or something.”
Her words cut through me like a knife, and my heart suddenly began to ache. How someone so young could analyze me in a way I never could scared me a little. But she was right. Deep down I knew she was right. I hadn’t let go of Janice. To this day, I thought about her constantly, wishing I could turn back time, find some way to stop the cancer before it metastasized and stole her from us.
“And you know when you finally stopped?”
I looked at her and shook my head slowly.
“When you met Jenni,” she said. “For the first time in my life, I actually felt like you were happy, dad. Really happy, and that made me happy. And now you don’t want us to see her again, and we’re going to go back to Miami, and you’re going to keep doing the things you do. And then, one day, Raul is going to come to me and tell me that you’re dead. Really dead this time. And then what am I supposed to do?”
I felt my own tears well up, and I quickly wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. "I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my voice cracking as I hugged her close. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
Kelly cried in my arms, her face buried in my chest. “Please don’t leave me, daddy,” she stammered. “Please don’t leave me.”
Tears rolled down my face as we rocked together by the edge of the pond, holding each other as I promised her over and over again that I wouldn’t.
Chapter 21: Jenni
I finally stopped crying when I was a few minutes away from my apartment complex, my eyes sore, my body shaking. I felt like I had dried up, like there were no more tears left to shed, and as I pulled into my regular parking space, my breaths came in staccatos that made my head spin.
Alex’s words still rang in my ears, and it had taken me over an hour to bring myself to pack up and leave. I couldn’t fathom the thought of not seeing him again, of not seeing Kelly, and the world around me seemed to have cracked and broken into a million pieces that would never be brought back together again.
This was all my fault. If only I had been honest with him from the start. If only I had told him everything, had let him in on the secrets and the past I was not proud of. Maybe I would still be back at the house, cooking dinner and laughing with them. Kelly wouldn’t have driven away, Alex wouldn’t have kicked me out, and I would have gone to sleep knowing that I was welcome in their home.
That was all gone now. I mentally chastised myself for thinking I was being smart, that I was somehow protecting them. It was true what they said about the path to hell being paved with good intentions, and I had definitely paved my way to my own personal hell. And I would burn here, alone, thinking of what could have been and what I had been stupid enough to throw away.
I looked out at my apartment complex and felt like a stranger here. It had only been a couple of days, but I had already gotten used to the house, to waking up next to Alex, to talking to Kelly on the rare occasions she could pull herself away from her phone. Now I was back, and although I hadn’t really moved out, it still felt like I was returning to an empty shell.
At least you still have Casper.
That thought alone made me gasp. Kelly had fallen in love with him, and I had been looking forward to having him settle in with me at the house. At least he wouldn’t have been surrounded by the misery I was bringing back home with me.
I climbed out of the car and closed the door, trudging to the trunk and taking my small gym bag out. I leaned against the car, closed my eyes, and tried to stop my head from spinning. The image of Alex yelling at me played across my closed lids and sent shivers up and down my body. I didn’t even get a chance to explain myself to him.
I opened my eyes, took a deep breath, and made my way towards the complex. Fishing for the keys in my purse, I didn’t notice Heath until I walked right into him.
“Woah, hey,” he said, holding me steady as I fell back and swayed on my feet. “You okay there, Jenni?”
I really didn’t want to deal with this now, and was too exhausted to play nice. I didn’t reply and pushed past him, making for the door.
He grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Knock, knock.”
“What do you want, Heath?” I asked, sighing in frustration, begging to be left alone so I could fall into bed and sleep for the next few days.
“I want to make sure you’re alright, for starters,” he said.
“I’m fine, okay?” I pulled out of his grasp and turned away. “I’m just exhausted and don’t feel like talking right now.”
He grabbed me again, and I fought the urge to scream at him and claw at his face. “That’s a shame, because I was really looking forward to spending some time with you.”
“Really, Heath?” My voice rose in anger. “Now? Of all times, you choose now to annoy me the most?”
“Feisty, aren’t we?” heath chuckled.
“Let go of me and fuck off, alright,” I said. “Go hang out with Garth or something. DO whatever it is you guys do to pass the time.”
“Funny you mention Garth,” Heath said. “He actually asked me to pick you up. He wants to see you.”
“Tell him I don’t want to see him,” I replied.
Heath stopped my retreat, and when I tried to pull away, his grip tightened. “It wasn’t a request,” he said, his voice dropping dangerously.
I looked him in the eye and pulled my lips back in a snarl. “Let go of me, or I’ll make sure that hand isn’t good for anything other than wiping your ass.”
“You know, you always had a lip that would get you in trouble,” Heath replied. “Just come with me, and I’ll make sure I don’t cut it when I slap you to your senses.”
“Lay a hand on me and I’ll make sure it’s the last time you walk straight.”
I heard the slap before I felt it, and my cheek stung with the heat of its force. I dropped my bag and lunged for him, aiming for his eyes, but he quickly grabbed my wrists and twisted my arms around my back.
“Garth said to bring you to him,” Heath hissed in my ear. “He never said how.”
I threw my head back, slamming against his face, and he immediately let go of me and staggered back. I turned to run back to my car, but he was quick to recover. He grabbed me by the shoulder, whirled me around and punched me hard in the face. I fell to the ground in a heap, the world around me spinning out of control, and blacked out.
Chapter 22: Alex
Jenni’s car was gone by the time we got home, and I could immediately see the look of disappointment on Kelly’s face. She looked at me, and I tried my best to smile.
“I’ll call her in the morning, I promise,” I said.
“You can call her now,” Kelly protested.
“One night, Kelly,” I sighed. “Give me at least that.”
Kelly looked at me for a few more sec
onds before she nodded and climbed out of the car. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we made our way up the stairs and I pulled out my keys.
“What are you going to do about the truck?” Kelly asked.
“It’s safe where it is,” I said. “I’ll figure the rest out in the morning.”
“Maybe Jenni can drive it back.”
I chuckled and pressed her close. “Maybe.”
I opened the front door just as the telephone in the hallway began to ring. Kelly raced forward and answered it, and I knew deep down that she was hoping it would be Jenni.
“Hello?”
I watched her with a smile, hanging my coat by the door and stretching, feeling the day finally taking its toll on me. I would sleep like a log tonight, as long as I could keep my head clear and stopped my mind from conjuring up images of Jenni.
Kelly frowned, looked at me and handed me the receiver. “It’s for you.”
I frowned, suddenly worried that it might be the hospital calling to give me some bad news about Samuel. I took the phone from Kelly and braced myself.
“Hello?”
“Alex, buddy, hey!”
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