by Lucy Gage
“And they’ve been together all this time?”
“He worships her. Did you see him with her? He’s so in love with her, he can’t see straight. He’ll marry her one day. She deserves a good life. He can give her things I can’t.”
“But you love her.”
Jack nodded slowly. “Yeah. I do.”
“Shit.”
“Yep.”
“How can you stand it? I’ve never had to compete with Danny for any girl. Hell, we don’t usually like the same girls.”
“I thought you only really liked one? To hear Nichols tell it, you have a hard on for this one girl.”
“Yeah, yeah. Danny never liked her. He wanted her best friend. Doesn’t matter. She’ll probably never go for me. At least I can meet some new girls in college.”
“Right. And you’ve got more than five sticks on your body now…”
“Hey! They weren’t all sticks.”
“No, I suppose your dick isn’t tiny. Smaller than mine.”
“Fuck you.”
Jack laughed. “I’m just teasin’. Bet the girls will fall all over you at that little school.”
“Maybe. At least I might have a chance of losing my virginity.”
Jack guffawed. “Boy, you’ll do more than that if you want it. I’m sure the drunk sorority set will fall at your feet. Girls love beefcake.”
“As I’m sure you’ve long known.”
“Yeah, well, I had to drown my sorrows about Sarah somehow. It’s all good. I fall in and out of lust easily.”
“Not love?”
“Only room enough for one girl there right now. Maybe forever.”
“That’s no way to live. You need to find you someone else.”
“Unlikely. But then, you know exactly what I mean, right?”
Neil sighed. “I do, my friend.”
“Okay,” the tattoo artist said, “Let’s get you inked.”
Neil and Jack both smiled. They weren’t quite as close as he and Owen, in part because Jack had John. But they’d stay friends for life, too. And this would be one experience he’d never forget.
**********
Bucksport, Maine, eight years ago…
She dove into the pool and tried not to wince at the chilly water temperature. Living in Miami had spoiled Meg and, compared to the hot pool and bathwater ocean she typically frequented, her parents’ pool mimicked the frigid North Atlantic.
Refreshed, nonetheless, with the air temperature at 90 degrees, Meg slowly surfaced to find Emily standing at the edge. Rather than walk to the stairs, Meg dipped low, then launched herself from the water onto the concrete pool patio.
“Hey, Emma Bean. What’s shakin’?”
“How’s your Nana?”
Meg’s Nana, her mom’s mother, had been rushed for emergency bypass surgery a few days ago. When the call came, she and her mom had been hiking the Appalachian Trail in West Virginia.
Meg lifted her towel from the chaise and replied, “She’s holding her own. The doctor says she’ll make a full recovery, but it’ll take time. I wish I could stay, but I need to head back in a couple days. If she was still in critical condition, I’d blow it off, but now that she’s on the road to recovery, my research can’t wait.”
She plunked onto the pool furniture and Em took the adjacent seat. “Are you going to talk about it?”
“About Nana?”
“About Nico.”
She had been dating Carlos’ older brother since they met. They had recently ended their relationship and Meg hadn’t discussed it in depth with Emily yet, in part because she knew what her best friend’s opinion would be and she didn’t want to be judged.
“What’s there to say?” Em’s brows rose and stayed there, a terse smile on her face. Meg sighed. “Fine. It’s over.”
“And…”
“And he may as well have asked me to marry him. He implied that’s what he wanted, eventually, at least.”
“What? Are you serious?”
Meg closed her eyes. “Yes.” She sighed again. Rehashing this didn’t make it easier, but it did add to her guilt.
“And you dumped him? Nico was perfect for you!”
Meg shook her head. “Something was missing. If we’re meant to be together, our paths will cross again at the right time.”
“You firmly believe that?” The incredulity dripped from her voice.
“I do. If I didn’t, I couldn’t have given him up so easily. He’s a great guy.”
A tall, lean, sexy Latin heartthrob, Nico’s positive points extended far beyond his appearance or his skills in the bedroom, which were considerable. Kindness, compassion, loyalty, honesty, intelligence and wit, Nico fit the bill of perfect mate.
To any woman except Meg.
They had broken off their relationship when Nico accepted a job offer from a friend to start a new accounting firm in Central New York state. He’d begged her to come with him, had offered her the world on a silver platter, but Meg couldn’t bring herself to say yes, no matter how much she cared for Nico.
“I think you’re making a mistake, Meggie. Do you honestly think you’ll ever find someone better than Nico?”
“Hey pot, you’re calling the kettle black. Didn’t you walk away from Carlos?”
Emily blushed and looked down. “We’re too different, Meggie.”
“He still talks about you. He’s in love with you.”
“And Nico isn’t in love with you?”
“I didn’t say that.” Her heart ached, remembering.
“I don’t think I can do it, Nico.”
“Please, Meg, don’t just say no. Think about it. At least sleep on it. For me. I know you don’t love me as much as I love you, but you do care about me.”
“I didn’t love him, Em. I’m not ready to settle down. If we find each other again later and we’re on the same page, then I’ll reconsider. For now, him loving me wasn’t enough. I know you understand. It’s not as if you’ve dated a lot of guys exclusively since Billy.”
Emily shrugged. “I haven’t met anyone worth keeping around.”
“Nico was worth keeping around, and if he’d stayed in Miami, we’d still be together. But staying together in the same place and being willing to commit to someone far away, to stay celibate for weeks and months at a time are two different things. I couldn’t see doing that when I had no guarantee it would last.”
“You never get a guarantee, Meggie.”
“No, but you should at least believe it’s possible.”
Emily sighed and nodded, admitting Meg was right.
**********
Fiddling with the fancy new phone his mom had handed him when he returned home from Basic last night, Neil stood in the back yard, brow furrowed, trying to understand how to add new contacts. Behind him he heard footsteps, so he turned.
“Holy shit,” Danny said, eyes wide. “Who are you and what did you do with my best friend?”
Neil smiled, shoved the phone in his pocket and hugged Danny.
“I’m still me, just a little bigger.”
“A little? Are you kidding me? You’re a house!”
Laughing, Neil said, “Hardly. I still look pretty wimpy compared to Owen, Jack and John.”
“Who are they?” Danny asked, a wariness in his eyes. Jealous that Neil had made friends at basic training? Danny had plenty of friends at Cornell and they hung out with a few other guys in high school.
“They’re my buddies from basic training. The three of them are headed to the same unit in Alaska. That’s why I stayed a couple extra days, so I could hang out with them before they left. And to get this,” he said, pulling up his shirt to reveal his new tattoo.
“You got a tattoo?” Danny said. The tone of his voice indicated annoyance or maybe disgust. Danny’s disdain for tattoos should only apply to his own damn body.
“Holy crap!” he heard from behind Danny. “Neil? Is that you?”
A pretty, petite blond girl stepped around Danny, with a
buxom redhead at her side. Danny’s girlfriend, Charlie Ward, had just arrived with her best friend, Nina Jacobs. Neil still thought it was weird that Danny and Charlie were an item, given how much he’d lusted after her older sister at one point. He’d long ago said he was over Emily and that he loved Charlie, but sometimes, Neil wondered.
“Yep.” He smiled and pulled down his shirt. “Same old me.”
Charlie laughed. “I beg to differ. Wow. The Army looks good on you. It’s like you went away a boy and came back a hot, beefy man.”
Neil blushed. “Thanks.” He saw Danny’s irritation and knew he should change the subject.
While Danny was no longer the lanky string-bean he’d been at the beginning of high school, he was still skinny compared to the bulky muscle Neil had easily gained this summer. And Danny knew Charlie liked muscles. And tattoos. How the two of them stayed together was a mystery when, by all accounts, they were not the other’s type. At all.
Danny clearly disliked Charlie’s muscles obsession, and Neil didn’t want to be a party to that. He’d never think of stealing his best friend’s girl, even if he was attracted to her.
He wasn’t.
No, Neil was still infatuated with Nina’s cousin, Meghan. He desperately wanted to ask Nina how she was doing. Three years ago, she’d left for college at the University of Miami and by all accounts, she rarely came home. Instead, everyone went to her. He couldn’t blame them. He’d fly to Florida to see her all the time. Hell, he’d walk to Siberia to see her all the time if that was an option.
Charlie hugged Neil and said, “Welcome home.”
“Thanks, Charlie. Hi, Nina,” he said with a wave to the cute redhead, which merited a nearly vacant smile and a halfhearted wave. It made Neil want to ask her why she was even at his graduation party.
Nina wasn’t unattractive. She was very pretty and had a beautiful body. But no matter how many times Charlie and Danny had tried, nothing clicked between him and Nina. Even now, with his new body, he could tell Nina was looking through him. Whereas Charlie fought drool that might annoy her boyfriend, Nina hardly registered him, let alone his change in appearance. She’d tagged along with Charlie to accommodate her best friend.
“So,” Neil said, trying to diffuse the awkwardness that had settled over their little group. “How was your summer? Are you guys ready for school to start? When do you leave?”
Charlie laughed. “Are you starved for the company of women?”
Neil blushed again. “There were women at Basic.”
“Army women,” Charlie replied.
“They’re still women, Charlie. And some of them are really hot.”
“I’m surprised you noticed,” Nina muttered.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Are you implying I’m gay?”
Nina laughed. “No, I’m implying that I thought you were still obsessed with my cousin.”
“I’m not obsessed,” Neil mumbled.
Charlie patted his back. “It’s okay, big guy. We won’t tell her.”
Please tell her, Neil thought. Now that I look more like a man, maybe she’ll pay attention to me. But he said, “It doesn’t matter.”
Nina said, “That’s right. It’s not like you’ll see her. She just went back to Miami. Meggie flew home to see our Nana. She’s sick.”
Neil’s eyebrows shot up. “Sorry to hear that. I hope she’ll be okay.”
“Probably not,” Nina replied, tears building in her eyes. One escaped and rolled down her cheek.
Charlie hugged her friend and rubbed her back. “Don’t worry, Nin. She’ll pull through. She’s too stubborn not to, right?”
Nina gave a small laugh and sniffed. “Yeah.”
“Let’s lighten the mood a little. Is anyone else coming, or can we take over your party, Neil?” Charlie asked, stepping back from Nina.
Danny, who had been unusually quiet, said, “More people are coming later. Siobhan wanted us to have a chance to hang out a little before everyone else arrived.”
Oh, no. A silent Danny meant a pissed-off Danny.
“Why don’t we sit on the patio. Mom has food over there and I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving.”
“Were you waiting for us to eat?” Charlie asked, following Neil with her arm linked in both Danny’s and Nina’s.
“Uh, no. I ate a little while ago. I’m hungry all the time now.”
“Finally growing, huh?” Nina said. Neil looked at her, and the smirk on her face was playful, not mean.
He smiled. “Took me long enough, right? Bet you guys thought I’d never get taller.”
“You grew since graduation, didn’t you?” Charlie asked. When Neil nodded, she said, “Damn. I still can’t get over how sexy you are now, Neil. It’s a little disturbing.”
Danny’s clenched jaw moved slightly. Neil couldn’t recall ever seeing Danny this angry, not in sixteen years.
Subject change.
“So, when do you guys start at UMaine?”
“Day after Labor Day for classes. Orientation starts the Friday before. We’re excited to move into our dorm.” Charlie said, sharing a mischievous look with Nina. The girls would be roommates at school.
“Oh, why’s that?” Neil asked rounding his plate with fruit, cheese, and several of the little sandwiches his mom had painstakingly made.
He popped a grape in his mouth and nearly choked when Charlie said, “Because of all the sexy men, of course. We’re in the dorms where lots of the athletes live.”
Danny’s mouth, set in a line and not uttering a word, moved as his jaw clenched so tight, Neil thought for sure he’d grind his back teeth to dust.
Neil refused to touch that with a ten-foot pole.
“What classes are you taking?” he asked, trying desperately to steer away from the discussion of guys. He wished he could rewind and skip showing Danny his tattoo when he had. Maybe this whole situation would be far less awkward.
Because, while he was nowhere close to as ripped at his buddies – who, after all, had a leg up on him before they arrived in South Carolina – Neil had earned a six-pack and thicker quads, filled in his broad shoulders a little and had the start of well-developed pecs, forearms and biceps. Without question, hard work and a few more inches in height would turn him into a powerful soldier.
That his girlfriend had noticed visibly irritated Danny.
Several hours later, though things had calmed a little as other guests had arrived, Danny still appeared peeved as he and Charlie were leaving. She hugged Neil and said, “It was great to see you. Maybe you can come to Cornell while I’m visiting Dan sometime. I’ll bring Nina along.”
Neil laughed. “Charlie, in case you missed it, Nina isn’t interested in me. And to be honest, I think she’s a great girl, but I’m not really attracted to her.”
“I know. You’re in love with Meggie. Doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with Nina.”
“I’m not…I just think she’s pretty.”
Charlie grinned. “Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that, Neil. One day, you’ll get the nerve to talk to her. She’s not as scary as she seems. She’s really a nice person.”
“I know,” Neil said quietly. In his opinion, Meghan had far more than beauty to make her appealing.
“Take care of yourself, okay? We’ll see you soon.” She kissed him on the cheek and smiled. It was innocent, but Danny still seethed again. He really needed to get that jealousy under control.
Neil tilted his head to indicate that Danny should follow him a little further out of ear shot. When they were around the corner of the house, he said, “You have got to get rid of that green-eyed monster.”
“Why? You planning to steal my girlfriend? Want to catch me off-guard?”
“Are you fucking nuts? Like I’d ever do that to you! Besides, you know I’m not into Charlie. She and Nina both obviously know I still have a thing for Meghan.”
“Do you?” Danny asked, nostrils flared.
“Yes! Jesus. I went to Basic Train
ing, for Christ’s sake, I didn’t get a lobotomy. I’m still me, I’m just growing into my body and turning into the soldier Uncle Sam wants me to be. Get over yourself, asshole. You fooled around last year. I bet she has no idea what you did that weekend I went for my college visit to Hamilton, right?”
Danny’s jaw flexed, answering the question.
“Stop being such a fucking hypocrite, Danny. That girl didn’t date, not once, while you were gone last year. Cut her some slack. She’s just joking around. As if she’d ever leave you for someone because they have an athlete’s body and you don’t. She’s not that shallow.”
“So, what, I shouldn’t worry?”
“If you’re going to make it through the next four years, if that’s what you really want, then you better grow the fuck up and stop thinking that every guy who looks like her ideal is the one who’ll steal her from you. That girl doesn’t want to be stolen away. She wants you. Start acting like a guy who deserves her.”
Danny sighed. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”
“I’m your best friend. If I can’t be an asshole to you, who can?”
“We’re still best friends?”
“Of course. Always.”
Danny gave him a half smile. He was coming around to his usual self again. “Good.” He hugged Neil and clapped him on the back. “I’ll call you later and we’ll get together before we leave. We can make our plans for the drive.”
They’d caravan to Upstate New York, where Danny would head to Cornell and then Neil would continue on to Hamilton in the central part of the state.
“Sounds good. Go show your girlfriend how much you love her.”
Danny smiled. “Okay, big shot. Just because you have a tattoo, don’t think I believe for a second you lost your virginity while you were gone.”
“Isn’t that what college is for?” Neil said with a smile. “Go.”
As Danny jumped into his truck and drove away with a blare of his horn, Neil shook his head. They were growing and changing, but hopefully, this friendship that had lasted for sixteen years would make it through the rest. Because he still needed Danny, and he had a feeling his best friend still needed him, too.
