by Justin Clay
I can’t believe it. He’s dead. Lena is still alive. I drop my bow and run. I run to Lena, and we embrace each other intensely. I’m crying. She’s crying. They are tears of joy. We’re shaking with laughter. At one point Lena starts coughing.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see you, Rian,” she says, smiling and I remember, smiling too.
“Well don’t thank me yet,” I remind her. “It’s not over yet.”
“Yes, you’re right,” she says, intently, holding my arms tightly. She is staring into my eyes, with reckless abandon. “There’s something — ”
A crackling metallic bang resounds as we look to see the herd of Infected are crashing against the shoddily locked cage’s gate. They’re somehow breaking through. I don’t know how Judas kept them in there for as long as he did. It won’t be long now.
“I NEED you to go and find Eli for me,” she says to me immediately, and gives me a hasty description of where she left him hidden. “He’s hurt badly…He needs your help, Rian. Please, get him to safety…I’m begging you.”
I look at her baffled; I’m shaking my head. Tears are falling down my cheeks. I know what she’s doing. “You can’t do this! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! I WON’T LET YOU! LENA, PLEASE!”
“No, Rian,” she says with finality, her eyes like steel. “It’s not your decision to make. Now go! I won’t ask again…And Rian take care.”
I continue to look at her motionless, stunned beyond belief. I can’t leave her like this; I won’t let her kill herself. This is insane.
“Rian, you have to do this for me,” she says. “We will see each other again, I promise…This isn’t goodbye.”
And without warning, the gate flies open and the Infected all spill out, wailing and grappling for flesh. Oh God. This wakes me from the strange daze that had trapped me, that urged me to stay at Lena’s side till the end.
“GO!” Lena bellows as she swings around hacking straight to the chest of an Infected that had lunged at her. I swallow, a hard lump in throat, and flee — tears burning in my eyes.
Lying down in the undergrowth beside the cabin, I search for the red door not too far from here, straight ahead. My bow is in my hands again, an arrow strung to kill. The chaotic sounds of gunfire and the howling of the Infected fades as I find myself nearly sliding down a hillside that suddenly appeared.
I notice markings in the snowfall; they quickly become footsteps, more defined as I further my pace forward. I’m in a vast clearing, no cabins around leaves me vulnerable of course. I need to move fast; I’m not sure if that sniper had been taken out or not and I didn’t want to take any chances.
Narrowing my eyes, a forged path emerges, worn down by many treading feet over the years it looks like. The botched pathway curves, weeds growing carelessly at its sides, and then I see it. The cabin with the red door. Although it’s not exactly a cabin, more like a long ranch-styled manner with matching red metal roofing. The great wooden sign hanging by a post is still readable in its fancy lettering: Lake Flathead Inn.
Something catches my eye; the color is so off, I can’t help but make note of it. Deep red blotches in the white snow…blood. And there’s more than a few speckles of it. There’s an entire trail. I follow it.
...
I’m first led to what Lena spoke of — the unruly greenish undergrowth beneath a shattered window at the side of the inn. Once upon a time, the plants here most likely had been a neatly kept garden. Today, weeds, bristles, and crabgrass have taken over, crowned with sparkling snow. I peer in the shade between them and call for Eli but I receive no answer, and when my eyes adjust I realize there is no one here. There definitely is a heavy impression of a body. Someone had been here…But what happened…
Thinking I may have missed something, I retrace my steps back to the front of the inn. I continue to look and call for Eli, but like before there’s no answer. I stare at the ground more closely. The snow here is shoved to one side as if someone had been plowed into the ground here…There’s more blood. I can make out a handprint in the snow. A fight happened here.
I walk up the steps, recognizing a trail of blood exists here, too. I follow this one, hoping for better results. Standing in front of a window, I see this one too is smashed, but doesn’t look like a weapon’s work done this…Someone’s body broke through this glass — the wreckage is too much, too scattered.
Carefully, I step through the window, and enter into what looks like the tavern portion of the Inn. There’s a wrap-around bar complete with tacky green stools in front of me. There is debris everywhere from the smashed through window and broken bottles and their spilled drinks dampen the wooden flooring, making it slick and shiny in the afternoon light.
The trail of blood goes around the bar, increasing blood loss, until I find a complete pool of it and soaking in it — Eli. The rugged man lies on his side like I recall him doing in the cave, but his arm is outstretched and just from his grasp is a liquor bottle, shattered speckled with blood, and beyond is another man. I don’t know him, but his drab garments look familiar — I think he is the sniper that killed Gavin. But he’s dead now…The severe blow to his head from Eli’s swung bottle has created a nasty gory wound. This man is staring out with empty eyes, his mouth open agape, slackened. The look of death.
Is Eli also…
Abruptly, I hear him coughing and relieved I kneel down to his side. “Eli…Eli try to wake up…It’s me, Rian; we have to get out of here.”
Eli’s eyes tremble open for a moment, looking at me, but I don’t think anything registers, because he closes them straight after. Dammit. I’ll have to do the best I can. I lean myself down, and throw Eli’s closest arm around my shoulders. Grunting, I attempt to move his body upward, but he’s doesn’t budge at all. The man’s too damn heavy.
“I think you could stand losing a few pounds, Eli,” I tell the semi-conscious bearded man whose now laughing weakly. So he can hear me; he’s just choosing not to speak or is too tired to do so. Regardless, I’m going to need his help in getting him up and out of here. Sighing, I attempt the same maneuver again, and this time I mange to raise him up a few inches, but the weight is too much — I can’t do it. Straining, I am forced to let him go.
“Do you need an extra hand?” I hear someone say, and turning, I see that Terek is walking toward me, smiling. He’s mud and blood bespattered, and his traveling clothes are ripped in places but he seems all right otherwise. He must have followed me down here not too long ago.
“I think so.”
...
A plume of smoke drifting into the air on our return is the first thing I see. Terek tells me that we’ve won; all the scavengers are dead and now they’re burning their bodies along with the defeated Infected. I ask him about Lena, if she’s okay, and he doesn’t say anything. I then ready myself as much as I can for what I will see soon.
Once we reach the center of the village, where the cage lies, busted open by the Infected, I run. Terek yells for me to stop, but I don’t listen. I just run. Not a few moments after, I see her body, and I’m lost. All other thoughts disappear. My heart, I feel, pounds relentlessly in my ears, over and over as I look, trying to understand. They have her body straightened out, and her eyes have been closed as if she is only sleeping. But she is not.
Lena Faraway is dead. Tears stream. My mouth trembles in a sudden sob. And I can’t take it anymore. I scream out. My legs buckle and my vision becomes blurry. “You said…You said this wasn’t goodbye…Dammit! This wasn’t supposed to happen…You weren’t supposed to die…N-not…you…Not you Lena.”
Out of all the people I’ve met on the long journey through hell, she was the one person I wanted to survive. But I guess even best cannot completely cheat death for long in this world. The world of the Infected.
“I’m sorry Rian,” I hear Kage say above me, sincerely, “I truly am…Lena was a beautiful soul…But if it makes you feel any better…Lena…When we searched her body in the aftermath…We found th
at she had been bitten; it would have only been a matter of time.”
“No,” I say hurt, confused, crushed. All of it combined. “I don’t believe…I can’t believe you…”
“We need to return to our camp,” Kage reminds me. “June is waiting there for us to come back, remember?”
“June,” I say, and all I can think about is how I will able to tell her of Lena’s death. “Yes, I remember.”
24
WINTER
A MONTH HAS PASSED since what I call now, the Judas War, had taken place. Judas’s death didn’t bother me at all. I lost no sleep over him dying. Lena…That’s who I would think about endlessly at nights in our same room in the dam’s housing. I decided that June and I would remain here for the winter; we barely survived the last one out on our own. Here they have military protection, food, and decent shelter.
What more could you ask for? But there is no freedom here. Sure, Jed’s nice enough…But as long as we’re here, we’re in their debt. I don’t like being in someone’s debt so when spring awakens outside, we’ll say our goodbyes and move on. Until then it’s for the best we stay here, and June understands. She always does.
Lena had once slept in this room, in these four walls. Now she’s sleeping six feet under, outside the dam beside Cari, Gavin and another protector, I didn’t know. Kage had found Cari’s body in a bag in one of the cabins after the war; she had been shot in the head…By who…I do not know. Anyway, that’s where they decided to bury them. They even put a cross up to mark their graves. I have visited Lena’s only twice, because of the frigid weather. The snowfall has become worse and falls feet past our heads in some areas, when we venture out to stretch our legs. We could only go so far before we are told to come back, for safety precautions. That is still in place here, of course even without Cari.
Eli, however, hasn’t existed for all this time since the war. His body has remained in the dam’s infirmary under intensive care, but he isn’t there. Kage tells me he will eventually come back; it will just take time. They had to perform extensive surgery on him. He had suffered outside of the minor scrapes and bruises, severe head trauma, several broken ribs, and had been inflicted with a deep gouge in his right leg. It’s a wonder he’s managed to live so far at all.
Kage tells me he’s ready for visits, and people visit him. They talk to him like I tried to talk to him, while he lies on their propped up bed, but he doesn’t talk. He just stares off into space…lost in another world completely. One where Lena is most likely living again. The news of her death had been extraordinarily hard on him since Terek told him when he was finally conscious enough to understand — and that had only been two weeks ago. Eli has remained in the infirmary for almost this entire winter month, and for the time he’s been able to be visited, he hasn’t spoken at all. Not a single world.
Despite all of that. Despite his aloofness with everyone, I haven’t given up yet. Three more months pass and we’re into a new year. Kage says Eli is — for the most part — fully healed, although he still hasn’t talked with anyone about what happened. Or about anything for that matter.
But I’ll try one last time. The day I decide to head to the infirmary to discuss my plan when spring comes soon, I find Eli standing at our door. His face is blank, but he is there nonetheless.
“I thought I would…I would tell you goodbye.”
“Goodbye?” I say, a bit stunned.
“It’s time for me to leave, Rian…I don’t belong here; there’s too much pain here…You know that.”
“Yes…I know,” I admit sadly. “But…I didn’t expect you to leave so soon.”
“It’s been months, Rian.”
“Yeah, but you haven’t talked to anyone…About anything.”
“I had reason not to…I didn’t feel like talking.”
“But you’re here talking to me.”
“That’s…That’s because, I care about you two,” he says quietly. “I am sorry I am not as good as Lena was in showing emotion; I just can’t…Not now.”
“I understand.”
“No, no you don’t Rian,” he tells me. “But someday you will.”
“Eli…Eli there’s something I need to tell you,” I say, feeling anxious about the words to leave my mouth. But Lena is gone now, so what does it matter. “Lena…Before she died, she told me about your past…What Judas did to you.”
Eli doesn’t become angry with me; he doesn’t even change his stony expression at all. “I know,” he says. “I’m sorry you have to know that.”
“Did Lena tell you?”
“Not everything has to be spoken to be understood,” he tells me, and I look away from him. “After how long we have spent time together…You deserved to know why I am the way I am…”
“With Judas dead…I saw Lena kill him; she beheaded him,” I tell Eli. “Does that make you feel any better?”
“Yes,” Eli tells me, “ and no…I still don’t know how I feel…I’m still trying to figure that out; that’s why I have to get out of here…I won’t be able to be at peace with myself otherwise.”
I nod.
“What about you coming with us?” I tell him. “We’ll be leaving soon too…We can’t stay here either…I’m still going to look for the Carriers…Do you know the city, where they are located, Eli?”
“Yes,” he replies, “I know; make your way to Seattle — you will find them there.”
“How do you know they are still there?”
“I don’t,” he says bluntly. “But if I had to guess…That’s my guess; that’s where they will be.”
“Thank you, Eli.”
“You have done a good job in protecting your sister, Rian,” he goes on, “but one day, you’re going to have to let go.”
25
SPRING
SPRING HAS FINALLY COME. The time for renewal. For rebirth. For trying to start things over again. The snow has mostly disappeared, and in its place grows healthy green grass shaded by trees that are becoming alive again, awakened from their wintry slumber. The air smells of wet soil and pollen; its freshness is something I welcome.
Wildflowers are growing along Lena’s grave. I focus on their bright purplish-pink and yellow colors, thinking to myself, as I stand there. I think about when Lena was alive; the words she had spoken to me. The impact she had left. I’m holding my sister’s hand. June had cried when I told her about Lena. Today there are no tears, but we are silent nonetheless.
“Lena would have liked these flowers,” June says to me. “Don’t you think, Rian?”
“Yes,” I respond, with a half-smile, “I think she would have.”
“Do you think she’s in heaven, Rian?”
“I don’t know,” I say, unsure if I believe in such a place anymore. I would like to believe there is — somewhere free of such a chaotic hell as in this world. “Maybe.”
“I think she is, Rian.”
“Good, that’s all that matters then…I think it’s time we should go.”
“Are we still going to find the good people, Rian?”
“We’re always looking for the good people, June,” I say. “But yes, we’re going to find the Carriers now.”
“Do you think they’re still in Seattle like Eli said they are?”
“I hope so, but there’s only one way to find out.”
“Adventure!” June yelps, and I chuckle…She always knows how to make me laugh, when reality at times is too much to bear.
“That’s right,” I say. “Do you want to give the dam one last look goodbye?”
“I guess so,” June says, so we look up at the gray, boxy building, concentrating like I did for Lena’s grave. To remember. Remember everything this time. We eventually turn around, after having already said our goodbyes, with our backpacks on, prepared with enough supplies and food to last us until we reach the Carriers, hopefully.
“Rian?” June asks me before we leave.
“Yes, June?”
“I’m glad you’re my sister…Yo
u know why?”
“Why, June?”
“Because I don’t think anyone else could do what you’ve done,” she says. “I don’t think I would be living right now without you.”
Tears well my eyes, and I know all that we have been through, all the terror we have had to face has somehow in some way led to this, and for June, I am grateful. “I’m glad you’re my sister too, June…Let’s go.”
We take our first steps and move on.
I listen to the birds in the trees singing, calling out to each other as I sit with my feet in the lake June and I reached a day ago. We have made camp since then.
Roughly one week has passed since and now we’re somewhere in Idaho as the welcome sign said so some miles back down along a main road. We’ve only spotted a few Infected since our departure and they have easy enough to kill so far, but I haven’t gotten much sleep. I have to remain on guard for June’s sake until I know for absolute certain we’re the only two beings around.
