by Nana Malone
"You're fine. You're perfectly safe in my hands."
I laughed at that. "I don't think a female student has been safe in your hands since you started teaching."
As soon as the words were out, I wanted to bite them back. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I just got flipped and basically what you said before, and oh my God, I just—I’m not feeling well, and I can't control my mouth."
He chuckled softly. "Hey, you know what? That's fair. I already opened that door. And you're probably right. I may have dated a student or two, once or twice."
I raised a brow. "Once or twice?"
He laughed as he led me to a booth in the corner and waved at the bartender. When the waitress came over and asked for drink orders, I shook my head. Xander ignored me. "I'd actually like tea for her. And one of your pastries, or anything you have."
"I'm not hungry."
"What if they're for me?"
"It's dinner time. Not tea and coffee time."
"Well, before I put you in a taxi, I'm going to make sure you eat something. And have some tea. Tea always seems to fix everything."
I laughed. "I'm not sure tea will make me not crazy."
He shrugged. "It's worth a shot. So, want to tell me why you think someone is following you?"
"You're not going to let that go, are you?"
He shook his head. "Nope. Are you afraid of someone?"
Oh, hell no. You are not doing this. I was not going to confess everything to my very good-looking male professor, who probably had many panties dropping all over the country because he was stupidly attractive. I didn't know where to look when I gazed at him. And God, he knew how to melt you with a look, but something told me I didn’t want to get involved with him beyond a professional level.
Sure, I found him attractive, but I wasn’t necessarily attracted to him. There was something that drew me to him, some familiarity. But it was off. Not like when I got saved by the other guy a couple days earlier. That instant spark that had me feeling stupid for hours afterward… It wasn't like that. But that was good because he was my professor.
Yeah, dumbass, don’t forget that.
"I'm not afraid of anyone."
He cocked his head. "You're not telling me the truth."
"I don't have to tell you the truth."
He nodded. "Fair enough. Maybe you should avoid walking the streets without a friend late at night."
"What kind of world is it that I can’t walk around without a chaperone?"
He shrugged. "You can. But I'm just saying you were scared."
"I'm fine. I overreacted."
He shrugged. "If you say so. In the meantime, if you get that scared again, anywhere, like on campus or anything like that, not that we're friends or anything, but you tell me, and I'll make sure that you're not scared anymore."
I frowned. "What are you going to do?"
"Well, for starters, I can get security to walk you to your bus. That's easy enough. And if someone deliberately scares you, not that that's what this was this time, but we can talk to the school administration. Have security posted, that sort of thing. But you were just overreacting, right?"
I met his gaze and nodded slowly. "Yeah, just overreacting."
I'm sure Dr. Kaufman would have a field day with this, but speaking my truth wasn’t going to happen with my teacher, no matter how kind he was being. When my tea came, I was actually grateful for it. And the pastry was delicious.
But what I was more grateful for was Xander. He talked to me. Calmed me down. Asked me about home. Not about family, or boyfriends, or anything like that, but about my favorite shooting spots and my favorite subjects and some of the best places that I'd shot and places for great light. As if everything about me from the past that was important was all he was actually interested in, not that superficial stuff. It made me feel more normal and calmed me down.
By the time the Uber arrived, he'd already paid for my pastry and tea, despite my irritation and annoyance about it.
"Come on, I dragged you into this cafe. I pay."
When he opened the door to the Uber, he glanced down at me and gently guided my elbow and helped me inside. "Listen Abbie, I'm serious. If you should get scared like that again, I do want you to tell me. Because I can make that experience better for you."
Just before he closed the door, while we're still connected, I met his gaze. And there it was… a spark of something. Something a little bit like I felt the other day with that guy who saved me from the Mini Cooper. Now why the hell would I feel the same way?
10
Lex…
“You ready for dinner?” I asked Xander as I narrowly avoided stepping on a box of lens filters.
“Yeah, just let me put away the student portfolios,” Xander muttered.
I looked around Xander’s tiny office. “Just where do you plan on putting them, Xan? It’s not like you have a lot of room in here.”
“Take the piss all you want, mate. I have a system.” He stuck the portfolios on an already overflowing shelf. “Besides, it’s not like I have an assistant right now. Most of this stuff will move to my studio anyway. Once that’s done, it’ll be downright tidy in here.”
I just laughed. “Sure. Whatever you say.”
Xander studied me as we left his office and took the back hall to the staff parking lot. “So, what’s with you?”
I shoved my hands into my pockets and kept my gaze straight ahead. I didn’t need Xander probing into the dark recesses of my mind. “Nothing. Why do you ask?”
Xander dropped his camera bag in the boot, then strolled around to the driver’s side of his Pagani Huayra. “Seriously, Alexi? You seem to forget it’s my job to study the nuances of human features and emotion then capture those moments.”
I wasn’t in the mood for Xander’s attempts at psychoanalysis. I carefully opened the passenger door of the Huayra. The car was both the fastest and the flashiest of Xander’s vehicles. I preferred to run around in something more subtle, but Xander liked the attention. Although, I had to admit the thing was cool.
“I’m not biting, Xander. Let it go.”
“I can’t. It’s written all over your face. The tight set of your mouth. When you smile, it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Your body has a rigidity to it. Especially in your shoulders. Like you’re poised and ready to take action on something. Not to mention you’re fidgety as hell.”
I immediately stopped playing with the hem on my hoodie. “I am not fidgety.”
“Come on. Why don’t you just tell me what it is? Is it Gemma?”
I was careful to keep my voice neutral. “When did you become an agony aunt? I’m fine.”
Xander narrowed his eyes and studied me as we came to the stop sign at the campus exit. “No, it’s not Gemma, but it is a woman. Go ahead and tell me I’m wrong.”
“You’re wrong.” I kept my face averted toward the window. Maybe dinner with Xander had been a bad idea.
“You forget I know you better than anyone. Who is she?”
I dropped my head against the headrest. “She’s no one. Just a girl. I don’t even know her name.” But as luck would have it, I’d seen her with Max’s girlfriend, which meant if I was so inclined, I could track her down.
Xander shook his head. “See, I’ve got the skills of a detective. Maybe when this photography thing is over I should join Scotland Yard. Screw that, I’m going big. MI-6 all the way.”
Despite myself, I laughed. “You’re full of shit.”
“Maybe, but I figured out some woman is tying you in knots. Gemma got a clue?”
Xander was the only one who knew the truth behind my relationship with Gemma. And he thought I was insane to go along with it. “There’s nothing to tell Gemma. I haven’t done anything, and I’m not going to.” I said through clenched teeth. I couldn’t pursue it. I wanted it too much.
“Yeah right. You’ve got the look of a man on a tight string.” Xander shook his head as he easily navigated the streets of Ealing on his way to
the motorway. “Though I have to say, I like this look on you.”
I frowned. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, I dunno. I feel like you’ve used your relationship with Gemma as an excuse to never get close to anyone. Sure, you have a discrete dalliance here, a hot fling there, but you’ve never had to be in a real relationship with someone you care about who would actually have to get to know the real you.”
“Shut it, Xander.”
Xander laughed. “Why? Because I’m telling you the truth? You are avoiding intimacy because you’re afraid of what you’ll have to show and share. It’s classic.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, I’m the one with love issues? Says the man who goes through women like you’ve heard they’re about to become extinct or something.”
Xander grinned. “I do love women. But we weren’t talking about me. Besides, I’ve turned over a new leaf. Women are to be treated with respect. We were talking about you and some woman getting under your skin. It’s a good look for you.”
“Wow, Xan, I had no idea you were such a romantic.” I eyed him again. “Shit, you’re not sleeping with another one of your students, are you?”
Xander’s eyes bugged. “No! Hell no. I learned my lesson the first time.”
I laughed. “You know they have those rules for a reason.”
“I said I’m not fucking sleeping with her.”
“Her… so there’s a her?”
Xander cursed. “No. I have a student. She’s promising, that’s it.”
“And you want to sleep with her.”
“No. Damn it. I want to teach her.”
I had to laugh. “Exactly what do you want to teach her, Xan?”
“Shut up, baby brother.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Xander was quiet for several moments before he quietly said, “The old man called me. Or rather had Mum call me.”
“Fucking fantastic. Whose side are you on, Xander?”
“Yours. Always yours.”
I glared at him. “Then why are you pushing his agenda?”
“I’m not. I swear. I personally think you should tell the geezer to fuck off like I did. I just worry he’ll pull the trigger on his threat.”
“Well, he’s welcome to. Very soon, I won’t need his money.”
“It’s more than money you’re walking away from, Alexi. It’s not always easy to do. I wouldn’t think any less of you if you took his deal.”
Blood boiled under my skin. “After everything that happened, you think I’d take the easy way out? I don’t want anything from him.”
“And everything comes back to that.”
I ground my teeth. “Of course it comes back to that. We were kids, Xan. He was supposed to love us, and instead he treated us like we’d tarnished his good name.”
“Never said he wasn’t a prick.”
“Well, I want nothing from that prick. I knew that night he didn’t give a shit about us.”
Xander nodded. “Also true. That night changed everything, but we survived.”
Had we? I didn’t feel like I’d survived. I felt like a storm-battered buoy most of the time. “It was a hell of a price to pay.”
Xander nodded slowly. “Just as long as you understand what that will mean for you.”
“Yeah, it will mean my freedom.”
11
Lex…
Dinner with Xander went infinitely better once we stopped talking about our father. Though, I knew next time I’d have to lay off the Scotch. It had been two days and I still hadn’t fully recovered.
My skin buzzed, my brain was foggy, and my focus was shot to hell. But that could easily be because I knew I was about to see my mystery girl again. My blood rushed just thinking of having her in my arms again.
When Max had told me to pop ‘round, he mentioned Sophie was having some friends around too. I prayed her friends included the American girl. And just like that, the force of the gravitational pull was too strong to ignore. I knew I had it bad. I didn’t even know her name and I was a total sap.
I tried to focus on what the hell Jasper was saying, but my brain could only focus on the sounds of Sophie and her friends as they walked in the door. Sophie bounded in with her usual energy, her friends in tow.
She greeted me with a hug. “Hey, Lex. I want you to meet my friend, Abbie Nartey. And of course, you know Faith.”
So, at last I had a name. I forced myself to smile and mutter a greeting to Faith as I kissed her on both cheeks, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Abbie. When I turned my attention to Abbie, I steeled myself for the current of electricity.
She met my gaze with a sheepish smile and said, “Actually, Sophie, we've already met. Sort of.”
I cleared my throat. “Abbie, it's nice to meet you, officially.” I shouldn’t touch her again, but I knew if I didn’t, I’d probably regret it the rest of the night. Stepping forward, I took her hand and kissed her twice on the cheek. I took note of her stiff posture again. Yeah, she was definitely not comfortable with touching. I slowly let out a breath before backing away. Her gingery shampoo made my nose tingle. I ached to keep hold of her. I was in trouble. A shit load of trouble.
“Earth to Lex, pay attention, mate. This is your birthday, after all. And we’ve got a week to make it epic,” Max muttered.
I rolled my head and tried to massage my neck. “I'm not sure what you need me for. I told you my criteria. I really don’t want it to be seedy. No surprises and no strippers. I want to know what’s coming.”
As Sophie chatted with her friends, my gaze kept wandering in Abbie’s direction. The memory of her pressed up against me, melting into my arms, snuck into my frontal lobe. And the memory alone was enough to trigger a kick of lust to my groin.
Jasper, relentless flirt that he was, lost focus on the birthday plans and hit on the girls instead. Specifically, on Abbie. I couldn't help the pang of jealousy as Jasper turned his full-wattage grin on her.
“You're looking beautiful as always, ladies. Especially you, Abbie.”
Faith just laughed and shook her head. Abbie blinked at Jasper once, then twice, then said, “Do these cheap lines really work on girls?”
Jasper frowned. “Yes, usually.”
Abbie shook her head. “I'm not sure why. They could use a dose of sincerity.”
I grinned. So, she wasn’t shy or afraid to call things as she saw them. I liked her even more.
Jasper clutched both hands over his heart and pretended to die. “You wound me. That’s okay though. I have thick skin, and I’m not giving up.”
There was no way I was letting Jasper hold too much of her attention. I smiled at Abbie and asked, “Did you girls have fun at the club the other night?”
She chewed on her bottom lip and hid a smile. Good, maybe I had her thinking about our dance.
Abbie stuttered, “Y-yeah, it was fun. I had no idea Jasper was such a good DJ.”
Fantastic. I’d given her the opening to give Jasper a compliment. Moron.
“What’s this about no strippers?” Sophie asked.
Max rolled his eyes. “Lex doesn’t want strippers at his party. We're trying to convince him he's got to do it.”
Abbie met my gaze as she slid into a chair between Faith and Jasper. “Why don’t you want strippers? Aren’t you supposed to want strippers?”
Nick guffawed. “See, Abbie speaks sense. You're a man. There should be naked women there.”
“I prefer any naked women I'm around to be there because they want to be, not because they are allegedly working their way through University or something.”
Abbie laughed and the sound filled my head. “What are you going to have if not strippers?”
Wow, someone who actually cared what I wanted. “Maybe a little poker, some music. Something low key.”
Max tossed a pen at me. “No way, no how, Lex. It's your twenty-fifth birthday. It has to be fun. You can be mellow after this party, but in the meantime, Ja
sper and Nick and I will plan it.”
“Any chance I'm going to escape it?”
“Nope,” Max said with a grin.
“Fine, I give up.” Through my peripheral vision, I watched as the girls headed up to one of the bedrooms. Try as I might, I couldn't keep my mind focused on the conversation. Eventually, the guys stopped including me and just talked football.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I frowned the moment I pulled it out. Dad had been calling all day. If I didn’t answer now, there was no way the old man would stop. “I'll just grab this on the patio.”
No one paid me any attention as I headed up the stairs to the living room then out onto the patio. “What's the problem?”
His voice was terse. “Did you speak to your brother?”
Damn it, could I get no fucking peace from the man? My mind went to a point in my life when I'd needed the old man and he hadn’t made the time for me. But now, when he wanted something, it was all I could do to get away from him.
“Yes, I did. I also thought I made it clear that you'd have a decision after my birthday, not before.”
“What is there to think about? It’s not as if you'll forgo the money you've gotten so used to. I have a problem I need you to address in Japan in a few days. You’ll need—”
“No.” I kept my voice controlled, but anger simmered under my skin. I hated how he treated me like a foregone conclusion. “I’m not going to Japan. I'm not going anywhere until my decision is made.” If I told him to shove it up his ass now, the old man would know something was up. His assumption that I wouldn’t give up money was right, at least partly. If the old man got wind of the sale, he would move heaven and earth to stop it, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.
“You’re walking a tightrope. Your birthday is in a few days.”
“And you said I had until my birthday to decide, so I’m taking the time.” I hung up before my father could say anything else. Even talking to the old man for five minutes was enough to make my temper bubble over.
