by Gill, Tamara
Josh ran a hand through his hair. His sister Alice—always the woman determined to make other people's lives better. Her housing in Ashford for the poor proof of that. Her inability to allow justice to go unserved by those who deserved to be chastised legendary in the family. Her husband was alive today because she refused to let anything bad happen to him when others threatened him harm.
"This, dear sister, I think even you may not be able to repair. I have broken trust with Iris. I have lied to her, and she will not forgive me for it."
Alice blanched. "Tell me, brother you did not sleep with a whore at Covent Gardens or some other such locale. I will not forgive you if you have done such a cruel act."
Josh scowled. "Of course I have not. I would never treat her with so little respect." But he had, of course, treated her wrong. Had lied to her with a truth that was so much worse than a mistress could impact on her heart. "I posted the bet in the Whites betting book that her betrothed took upon himself to participate in. Redgrove was his name, and he chose Iris to accompany him on his race about Hyde Park. As you are well aware, he was killed, and Iris was maimed. I kept that truth from her of my involvement in his race, and when she found out, as hurt and as angry as she was over my conduct, she now believes I only proposed out of guilt."
Alice's eyes went wide, and for a breath or two, she did not speak. "Did you ask her to marry you because you felt blameworthy?"
"Of course not," he stated truthfully. "But how do I make Iris believe that? She will not, I fear. She is angry at me for creating the bet in the first place, but when she concluded that our engagement was a farce…" He paused, running a hand through his hair. "Her face, Alice. If devastation had a look, she wore it, and never have I wanted to kick my own ass so much in my life."
"Darling brother, you are not a bad man. You made a mistake, and so too did Redgrove. While you should not have made such a bet, Redgrove should not have had Miss Cooper with him that day." Alice stood and went over to the decanter of whisky, pouring him a glass, placing it down before him. "Your other predicament that Iris thinks you proposed out of guilt is another issue altogether, and I fear a much weightier problem."
Did he not know it. "Do you not think I understand that?" he snapped, downing his drink, the burn of the amber liquid a welcome pain for his already distressed body.
"You must make amends, and I fear it will need to be a grand gesture of some sort." She sat back down, chewing her nails in thought. "As to what, however, we shall need to think and plan."
Josh studied his sister, wondering not for the first time if she had gone a little mad. Alice was untamed and wild at heart. It would not surprise him if she, too, were a little deranged. A grand gesture indeed. He could never do such a thing. He was the Duke of Penworth. Gentlemen looked up to him. They would never do so again if he acted the lovesick fool trying to win back his betrothed.
You are a lovesick fool trying to win back your betrothed.
"I will not be partaking in a grand gesture."
"No?" Alice queried. "So you're willing to lose her, let her marry another? I do not think so," she said, wagging her finger at him. "Why has the wedding been postponed but not called off? I'm curious what the delay of that decision meant."
Heat rose on his cheeks, and his sister raised her brows. "Brother, tell me you have not taken liberties that you should not have. Is Iris enceinte?"'
He groaned, downing his drink. "We do not know. She said her courses were due this week. I have not heard the outcome of this as yet." He glanced at his sister. "And you are one to criticize me over my dealings with Iris. You were not an angel when Lord Arndel moved in next door to Dunsleigh."
She shrugged, throwing him a bored look. "It is lucky then, is it not, that I'm now Lady Arndel and no harm was done. If you have compromised Iris, and she does throw you to the curb and marries another, what will happen if her husband finds out she has given you liberties you did not deserve? If he decides to punish her for her past, she will be ousted from society and sent packing to live in the country. It would be best if you fixed everything that you have wrought on the girl, and soon. Before it is too late."
He lifted the many letters written and returned. "I have been trying. She will not hear a word about anything."
"Then you must make her listen. She is yours, brother. You must make her remember the truth. That you have made a mistake but want to make amends. That you want her for who she is, not what you have done to her." Alice stood, placing her hands on her hips. "Now get off your chair and onto a horse and go win back my future sister-in-law. We have a wedding to hold."
Determination shot through his blood at his sister's words. "You are right. I shall demand to see her, make her believe me."
"Very good," his sister said, gesturing for the door. "No time like the present."
No time indeed.
Josh called at the Countess Buttersworth's London home within an hour of his conversation with Alice, only to be told the ladies were not at home and that they were not expected to return for several hours. Josh waited across the street, parked under a large oak tree, but the family did not return as stated by the butler.
They were due to attend the Davies ball this evening. An event no one dared miss, not even his family, and he hoped as he rapped his cane on the roof of the carriage to return home that Iris too would be there.
He wanted to see her. That he had not held her in his arms for seven days was more than he could bear. He loved her. She needed to believe that if nothing else.
* * *
Iris sat in the carriage on the way to the Davies ball, her stomach churning, but not from the fear of seeing Josh, but the agonizing realization that her courses were not far away now and would begin within a day or two.
The cramping and bloating she gained just before her monthly bleeding was always the same, and there was no reason why her body would react any different now, even though she was no longer a maid.
She would be safe enough tonight, but from tomorrow she would remain close to home. It was safer that way, for her courses had always been less than pleasant.
She would have to tell Josh, of course, that she was not carrying his child. The truth would free her from any obligation to marry him. He could do as he wished from tonight onward. Please himself without concern.
She inwardly cursed her bruised, angry heart and hurtful thoughts upon a man who would never treat her with such disrespect.
But he had treated you so, you silly fool.
The carriage rolled to a halt, and her mama and grandmother paid their respects to the hostesses before they entered the ballroom. Iris counted the chandeliers that ran down the center of the room, eight in total. Gold leaf glittered on every surface and paintings that hung about the room. The silk floral wallpaper made the room one of richness and abundance.
The guests they passed tittered and whispered, and Iris raised her chin, refusing to cower at their gossip. She had done nothing wrong. Not really. As far as they were aware, the wedding was still going ahead, merely delayed at this stage. She may have relocated to her grandmother's home, but there was nothing wrong with that.
She stood with her family, looking about and hoping there would be a chair nearby, but there was not. In fact, the ball did not look to have any available in the room at all.
Iris steeled herself for an evening that would result in her leg aching for days afterward.
"The duke is here, my dear," her mama whispered.
Iris's attention snapped to the ballroom doors, her heart doing a little flip in her chest at the sight of Josh. How utterly, devastatingly handsome he was this evening in his superfine coat and silk knee-high breeches.
He was perfection, and she physically hurt at the thought of losing him, of him marrying another in the years or months ahead stopped her heart dead. But that was for the best. She was not pregnant, and she would not be anyone's pity wife. He said that he loved her, but did he? Or was that too just a means to make himself
feel better?
He certainly had kept the knowledge of his dealings with Redgrove a secret, so she knew him to be capable of anything to save himself from confrontation. It was only left to be seen what he would say and do tonight to save himself with her.
Or end their union forever.
Chapter 29
Lady Sophie intercepted the duke as he made his way toward Miss Cooper. It was all that London spoke. That Lady Jane was back from Cornwall, back within the folds of her wealthy family and bringing her daughter Miss Cooper into the realm of that world with her.
Although Sophie was not privy to how Lady Jane was able to gain forgiveness for marrying the dreadful younger son of a penniless baron, it seemed all was forgiven if their little party of three, which included the Countess Buttersworth, was anything to go by.
Sophie smiled as she brought the duke to a halt. He crashed into her, a perfect end to her accosting him and would make him clasp her, worry about her health for a minute or two, which was all she needed.
She gasped, clasping her chest, and as expected, the duke held her elbow, just beside where her silk glove ended. His warm, gloved hand touched her skin, and she shivered at the feel of him.
How she wished he would be hers, and after tonight, she was determined that it would be so.
"I do apologize, Lady Sophie. I did not see you there," he said, letting her go when he was certain she was well and stable.
Sophie stumbled, moaning a little. He took her arm once again. "Oh dear, perhaps I have had a little wind knocked out of me, Your Grace. Will you escort me onto the terrace for some air?"
He hesitated, glancing past her, no doubt toward his intended, and she waved his hesitation aside. "I shall go, and I will be fine. You carry on to where you were heading." Sophie turned to go out onto the terrace herself and inwardly smiled when the duke came up beside her, placing her hand atop his arm.
"Forgive me, Lady Sophie. That was uncommonly rude of me, especially when I was the fool who knocked into you in the first place. Of course, I shall escort you outside for some air."
They made their way through the room, and Sophie could not help but glance over her shoulder. The sight of Miss Cooper, watching them, a dejected, worried kind of frown upon her pathetic features, just what Sophie wanted to see. She turned back to the duke and mentioned the warm night air as they stepped out onto the flagstone terrace.
Other parties of acquaintances stood outdoors, talking and smoking their cheroots. Couples strolled, and Sophie glanced up at the night sky, thanking the heavens that she finally had the duke alone. Well, away from Miss Cooper in any case.
"Thank you for escorting me. I already feel much improved."
He smiled and kept them within view of the other guests taking the air. "Of course." He cleared his throat. "How are you enjoying the Season, my lady? I do hope it's been as productive as I would expect it to be."
She threw him a coy glance, watching him from under her lashes. "Do you say that because you think I'm attractive, Your Grace?" she boldly stated.
His mouth opened, his lips moved, but no sound came out.
Sophie chuckled. "I am teasing, Your Grace. But the season has been less stellar than I hoped. But I'm here now, strolling with you, so it is improving by the hour." Sophie held his gaze, wanting him to see that she hoped their association would progress further than mere acquaintances. She wanted him as her husband. They were made for each other—equal levels on the social ladder.
He smiled, but she could feel the tension in his arms. "It is most enjoyable outdoors this evening, I would agree, and it is always pleasant to walk with friends."
Sophie bit back a groan. The man was playing hard to get, but she would persist. "There is a rumor that your engagement to Miss Cooper is at an end." She pulled him to a stop, taking his hand. "I do hope you know that as your friend, I'm very sorry for you if that is the case. If there is anything I can do to soften the blow to your heart, I'm more than willing to oblige you."
* * *
Josh stood rooted to the spot, unable to form a word of response to Lady Sophie and her blatant admission of interest. Never had a woman so highly born who was not already a widow disclosed such a suggestion before.
Had he never met Iris, Lady Sophie's attempt to persuade him into a liaison, a union, would never have occurred. While she would pass as a friendly acquaintance and he never bore her ill will, he did not see her in the romantic sense.
Nor was his engagement with Iris at an end, and it would never be if he could fix their relationship. His being out here on the terrace with Lady Sophie was not helpful either.
"My betrothal to Miss Cooper is not at an end, and I should hope you will dissuade people of that opinion should you hear the rumor repeated. In fact, before I so rudely ran into you, I was starting toward my betrothed and really ought to return to her." He held out his hand. "Let me escort you back indoors."
He read the disappointment on her face, the tightening of her mouth, but she laid her gloved hand atop his and conceded defeat. "Oh dear, I do hope Miss Cooper is not under the belief that we're now courting. How dreadful of me to have made your relationship with her more challenging."
"Miss Cooper would not think that way," he quipped, hoping he was right. As they made their way along the terrace, three ladies stepped outside, Iris's accusing blue gaze pinning him to the spot.
That Lady Sophie sidled up closer to him, leaning into him as if they were lovers, did not help the situation. Josh tried to remove himself from Lady Sophie's clutches without making a scene, but it was impossible. She was wedged firmly at his side.
"Your Grace," the countess spat his name like it was wicked on her tongue, her cane tapping down hard once before her. "Are you so busy escorting other young ladies about town that you have forgotten to whom you are engaged?"
Josh swore. He had never wanted to come out here in the first place, but having almost barrelled Lady Sophie over, it was the least he could do as a gentleman. "I was coming to find you, Miss Cooper. I wanted to ask if you would like to dance."
Iris stared at him, her gaze flicking between himself and Lady Sophie. The accusation in her eyes chilled him. She was already angry with him over his keeping such a devastating secret from her that this only added fuel to the firestorm burning between them.
He swallowed, extricating himself from Lady Sophie less gracefully than he would like. "Come, Iris. We shall dance."
She cast a look at her mother and grandmother, but to his surprise, conceded, choosing not to make any more of a scene. Not that she had made any. Lady Sophie was doing a fine job of that all on her own.
"Lady Sophie, let us go inside for a glass of Madeira," he heard Lady Jane state, her voice brooking no argument.
Josh led Iris onto the ballroom floor. The feel of her in his arms, her warmth and sweet scent that he had come to associate wholly with Iris, warmed his blood. He'd missed her this past week, and it was past time that they spoke.
He pulled her into the waltz, glad to have her all to himself. "I have missed you," he stated, trying to catch her eye, which she was steadfastly avoiding. "Why have you not allowed me to call or received my letters?"
Her lips thinned, and he steeled himself. Was she angrier than he suspected? Mayhap she was unable to forgive him his sins. Was he pushing her too hard too soon after learning the truth?
"I was not ready to speak to you or read anything from you. I'm allowed to be angry for more than a day over your conduct, Your Grace."
"I thought we were on first-name terms. Please, do not start calling me Your Grace again. I'm Josh to you."
She took a calming breath, finally meeting his gaze. "I am not pregnant. There is no reason why our farce of an engagement should continue. I would like the contracts dissolved and soon so I may return to Cornwall with my parents."
Josh tripped during the dance, righting himself quickly. "What? You cannot mean what you say. We have not discussed the situation as much as we should. Yo
u have not had time to think clearly on the matter, to find forgiveness for my sins."
"And why should I forgive such sin? You lied to me. There is nothing to say that you will not do so again should the situation arise and you find it easier to be vague and untruthful to save yourself. I will not be a wife to you when it is clearly only an offer because we were caught. You kissed me, and I believe you kissed me out of pity and guilt. Nothing will dissuade me of that."
The hell nothing would dissuade her of those thoughts. "You will marry me, Iris. I will not listen to these absurd words that I know you do not mean."
"But I do mean them. I cannot see a way forward for us. Not with everything that stands between us." She caught his gaze, the shimmer of tears in her blue orbs breaking his heart in two. "I do not trust you, and I will not have my husband pity me, marry me out of that emotion. I suffer from such treatment from others, I could not bear it from the man I marry. No matter how difficult our separation may be, I know that it is what is best."
He went to protest, but she shook her head, stopping him. "I am not what you want, Your Grace. I never was. Seeing you tonight on the terrace with Lady Sophie… That is the kind of woman you ought to marry. Not me. We never fit, and there is a reason women like me do not marry duke's like you."
Josh could feel her pulling away. He could not lose her. "Do not do this, Iris. If I could take back time and tell you everything from the start, I would, but I cannot. We suit, more than I befit anyone else. I love you. Please do not leave me."
She looked past him, cold and aloof. "You will find a woman who meets your high expectations, and you will be relieved, maybe not at first, but in time that you did not settle for a vicar's daughter. Your wife will be beautiful, capable, and not scarred, just as you stipulated."
