"How'd you like it?"
Her giant smile already told me what I knew.
"I loved it! I want to go riding again."
I put my hand on her lower back and kissed her.
"I'll take you anytime you want to go, anywhere you want to go."
She moved into my arms and stared up at me. I could see affection in her eyes. I'd no doubt brought down another wall, and man, did I enjoy seeing them fall.
She took my hand in hers and led us into the house. John and Heather had lips locked before they even made it into the room Heather was staying in. No doubt John would be thanking me in the morning.
I followed Amy into her room. When she glanced back at me, her eyes betrayed her. I could see she was nervous. I pulled her into me and kissed her gently.
"I promise all I'll do is hold you and kiss you." I couldn't forget that. There was no way I would be able to keep from kissing those full, soft lips.
"I'm going to the bathroom to change."
I pulled her chin up to me and kissed her again. "How comfortable are you with me sleeping in my briefs?"
She nodded reluctantly. "That's fine."
"I'll keep my jeans on."
She smiled, and beneath it, there was a mixture of relief and disappointment. She left my arms to gather clothes and went into the bathroom. I took my hat, flannel, undershirt, belt, and boots off and set my phone and wallet on the night stand. I crawled into her bed and waited anxiously for her to get back to me. When she came out of the bathroom, I was glad I'd kept my jeans on. Her hair was wound into a sexy mess above her head, all make-up was gone, and she'd slipped into a tank top without a bra and little shorts that barely covered anything.
I bit into my cheek, trying to control my growing erection. She slid under her comforter, joining me in her bed. She tucked herself into my chest and stared up at me. I ran my hand across her cheek and leaned in and kissed her. She clung to me, and I held her tight, kissing her until her lips were swollen. I desperately wanted to place my hands all over her body, but I kept to my promise and rubbed along her back and waist.
When I felt myself losing control, I pried my lips away from hers and tucked her into my chest as I laid on my back. She curled herself over me, one leg between mine and her arm around my chest. I ran my fingers along the side of her arm and before long, I could hear her calm, rhythmic breathing indicating she'd fallen asleep.
Having her in my arms felt incredibly right. I wanted her there every night and I still barely knew her, but I hoped it wouldn't stay that way.
I woke to Brock's solid arm tucked around my waist and his warm body at my back. Guilt instantly seized my stomach at the fact I'd brought another man into the bed I’d shared with Darrell. Yet, it had been one of the better night's sleep I'd had in a while, and Brock held me all night long, keeping to his promise. I needed his affection. I needed to just be held. He gave me just what I needed and didn't ask for more. It created a tenderness toward him I couldn't deny.
I turned my body to face him. His eyes slowly opened and locked with mine. He seemed so happy. A smile spread over his face, and he leaned in to kiss me. Warm, soft and affectionate, it soothed the stress in my head and heart.
"What do you like for breakfast?" he asked.
I smiled wide. "I think that's what I should be asking you."
He chuckled. "In that case, I like anything you're willing to make."
"You want to make breakfast with me?"
He kissed me and smiled. "Yeah, I do."
He pulled me from the bed and grabbed his flannel. "Here, gorgeous." He held his flannel out for me to put on.
"What's this for?"
"I don't want John to see you in this sexy little outfit."
I slid his shirt on and leaned against his chest. His possessive gesture warmed me and took me by surprise. He buttoned one of the buttons and pressed his lips against mine.
"Let's see how good of a cook you are."
We moseyed downstairs and I dug out sausage, hash browns, and eggs while Brock found his way around the kitchen and got out pans. He cooked the sausage while I did the rest. As I flipped the last of the eggs, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder, then neck, then cheek.
"I like this—waking up with you and cooking with you. Can we do this again?"
My stomach knotted from fear of saying yes or no. Thankfully, I didn't have to answer. We heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Brock let go of me, and I slid the last of the eggs onto plates. Heather and John joined us in the kitchen. They both looked tired and happy.
"Grab a plate and head to the table."
All four of us chatted about our jobs. Both guys asked several questions about the ranch.
"How many horses do you have?" John asked.
"Nine, including three of mine. My newest addition is palomino filly named Honey. She's a sweet girl. I can show you all around after breakfast, if you want."
I glanced at Brock, who had a big smile on his face.
"Yeah, that'd be great. Can't stay too long, though. Have to get to work," John said.
"All right, toss your plates in the sink. I'll get dressed."
I loved the way her face lit up when I watched her talk about her ranch and horses. I could tell she was passionate about her work and loved working with them. It made me like her even more, and honestly, like wasn't a strong enough word. I was coming to care for her.
Following her up the stairs, I gave her butt a squeeze when she reached the top. She giggled, and I chased her into her room. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I kissed her, putting my tongue in to meet hers, and steered the kiss with more passion. She moaned beneath my lips and I couldn't stop my hands from cupping her ass and pulling her into me.
"You didn't answer me downstairs."
I could feel her clam up. I held her close to me, running my hands over her back. "We'll take this as slow as you want." I kissed her, and her head lifted, following my lips when we parted. "But I want to see you again, and soon, tonight, if you'll let me."
I hoped she'd let me. It felt amazing having her in my arms. Her scent, her soft skin, her sweet and sexy personality. I was already addicted, and my only satisfaction would be to have more of her.
Her head lowered. I could see she was struggling with something. I lifted her chin to me. "You don't have to answer now. Think about it. I'll leave you my number."
She left me to go into the bathroom and get ready. I put on the rest of my clothes, my chest tight from the unknown, from the potential she might say no, that she didn't want to see me again. If only I could figure out why she was struggling with spending time with me when I knew she wanted to.
I left her room and met John downstairs.
He patted my shoulder. "Thanks for asking me to come out last night. That Heather is a fox in the bedroom. How was your night?"
I leaned against the back of the couch.
"Great. I'm hoping to see her again."
"She's a tight package. I can see why you'd want to see her again. I'm guessing last night wasn't the first time you've hung out. You two seemed pretty infatuated with one another."
John's words trailed off. A bookshelf with a photo caught my attention. I walked over to it and lifted the photo from it. It was of her and a good lookin' guy in their early twenties. She looked incredibly happy. The frame said Darrell and Amy and the year they were married. My chest tightened as I stared at the photo. John looked over my shoulder.
"She married?"
"No. Her husband died in a fire a couple years ago."
The stairs creaked, and I lifted my head. Amy stood there, staring at me, looking at her photo. Tears welled up in her eyes. I could see her trying hard to keep her emotions in control. One tear streamed down her cheek. This was it. This was why she wouldn't open up to me, why she took off our first night together. She still loved the man in the photo, and he was keeping her from me. I set the photo down and came toward her. She put
up her hand to stop me from touching her. My jaw and chest tightened. I wanted to hold her, but she didn't want me.
"I can't. Please. I need to get to work. You both should go."
She turned her head from me. If John weren’t here, I would've pulled her into my arms and made her talk to me, but I couldn't ask her to do that in front of John. Not something so close to her heart. I turned away and nodded for John to follow.
"My truck's at Stonie's," he said.
All I had outside was my bike. "We'll figure it out."
Heather came down the stairs behind us.
"Where you guys goin'?"
She took one look at Amy crying and pulled Amy into her arms just like I had wanted to. The ache in my chest worsened. I swallowed the lump in my throat and walked out her door. The moment it closed behind me, I was afraid that was the last time I'd see her and I couldn't accept that.
"Wait here," I told John.
I walked back in. They were gone. I heard her sobbing upstairs. I walked up the steps and opened the door to her room. She and Heather were sitting on her bed. Heather was holding her as she sobbed into her shoulder. She lifted her head, shock filling her face.
"Heather, can you take John back to his truck?"
She glanced at Amy and then back at me. She nodded. Heather left her side and I took it.
Amy fell into my chest, and I held her in my arms, letting her sob against my shirt until she quieted and her breathing calmed. I rubbed her back and kissed her forehead.
"I can't do this. I can't do this with you."
I didn't say anything. My chest had tightened so severely at her words that I couldn't bring myself to speak. I couldn't understand exactly how she felt because I hadn't gone through what she had, but I knew loss and the thought of not seeing her again pained me.
"Please say something."
She pulled away from my chest. I looked at her sad, tear-stained face and puffy, red eyes.
"What do you want me to say? I don't know the kind of pain you've suffered from your loss, but I can see it affecting you now and all I want to do is fix it. I want to do anything I can to stop those tears from streaming down your face. I want to come back to you after work, and I want to hold you, hell, I'll stay here all day and hold you if you'll let me, but you don't want me, so I'm not sure there is anything I can say."
She fell into my chest, tears coming heavily down her cheeks. "I do want you. That's the problem."
It was starting to make sense now. I pulled her into my lap. She cried into my shoulder. I rubbed along her back, trying to soothe her.
"Am I the first man you've been intimate with since your husband?"
"Yes," she cried quietly.
Damn, her reaction made perfect sense now. She was dealing with feelings she hadn't had since her husband. She'd gone two years without the touch of a man and I'd taken her to bed the first night we'd met. Great job, Brock.
"Amy, look at me."
I held an arm around her back and wiped away her tears with my hand. I looked into her soft, sad blue eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here with you, and you're going to stay in my arms until your tears have dried and still after that. I'm sorry we started off as strong as we did. I can tell you weren't ready for that, but I think you still want me around. There's something between us. We both know it, and I want to explore more of it, but I understand if you need to take it slow. I'll go as slow as you need, but please Amy, don't shut me out."
Her hand reached up and stroked my cheek and jaw. I gave her what she wanted. I leaned in and kissed her as tenderly as I could. She melted under my kiss—a broken angel in my lap. I laid her on her bed, still kissing her. She clung to me, as though my kiss was her lifeline. I didn't stop kissing her. I held her close to me and rubbed my hand along her side.
She pulled away for a breath and buried her face into my chest.
"I'd like it if you came back tonight."
I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. "I'll be here. Whatever time you want."
She held onto me. Her breathing became calm and rhythmic. She fell asleep in my arms. I caressed her cheek, watching her sleep peacefully beneath me. As I watched her, pride filled my chest that I'd been the only man since her husband. She'd chosen me out of any man she could've had.
Heather cracked the door.
"She okay?"
I gently slid my arm out from beneath her. "She's sleeping."
"I'll take it from here. I'm sure you need to get to work too."
"I do. I have a few things I need to take care of, but I'll be back later."
I looked around for her phone. I grabbed it off the nightstand and put my number into it and then texted my phone.
Heather walked out with me. We reached the bottom of the stairs and she turned to me.
"I knew her husband. We all went to college together. He was an incredible guy who truly loved her. They had the kind of love that others envy. When he died, she lost it. She didn't want visitors, and she shut everyone out. She and I lost contact after that. But then the ranch gave her a reason to go on. I don't think she allowed herself to date or even consider another man out of respect and love for Darrell. I can see the way she is with you, though. It reminds me of how she and Darrell were, but I think it scares her. She accepted she'd be alone the rest of her life. You've changed that. Blown up her plans and made her feel things she didn't think she'd ever get to feel again. Be patient with her and don't break her heart. I don't think she could handle another heartbreak."
I swallowed the tennis ball in my throat. That was a lot of pressure Heather just put on one man.
"Thank you. Take care of her until I can get back here."
"Don't worry. She'll be fine. She needs some time to work through her emotions is all."
I nodded, understanding what she meant.
I walked out of the house to the sun bright on my face. I headed toward my bike. A tall, dark-haired man in his late thirties or early forties waved a hand to get my attention. I stopped by my bike and waited for him to catch up with me.
"Nice ride," he praised.
"Appreciate it. She's my baby. Twin cam engine, three-thousand torque."
He nodded. His expression lacked the usual spark most bike enthusiasts had. I got the impression he didn't come to talk about the bike.
"You the guy whose house I picked her up from?"
My chest tightened. Who was this guy to her?
"Sorry pal, not sure that's your business."
He chuckled. "It is my business. I'm Rick. An employee and close friend of hers. Amy's a great woman, deserves nothing but the best. You better treat her right and if you can't, don't come back around."
I liked the guy already. It took balls to tell a complete stranger, much bigger than him, to hit the road if he wasn't here for the right reasons. He obviously cared for her and knew her better than I did.
"I respect that you want to protect her. You're clearly a decent man and so am I. I know what she's been through. I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. I'm here because I care for her. I hope to keep seeing her, if she'll let me."
Rick looked me up and down. "All right. We'll see about that."
I outstretched my hand for Rick to shake. He took it.
"I'm Brock Baisdin. I hope to see you around, Rick."
The corner of Rick's mouth pulled back into a bit of a smile. "See you around."
Heather handed me an aspirin and a glass of water. My head throbbed from crying, from drinking, from too much thinking, and from the embarrassment of breaking down in front of Brock. Surely, he thought I was nuts at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if I never heard from him again. That thought stung my chest. I did want to see him again.
"You ready to talk?" Heather asked carefully.
"I blew it, Heather. I'm sure I won't hear from him again. I kicked him out and then lost it in front of him. He probably thinks I'm crazy."
Heather shook her head. "He still wants to see you. I th
ink he understands what you're struggling with. He seems very understanding and the chemistry between you two. Phew!" She put her hand to her head. "It's off the charts!"
I smiled at her dramatic emphasis. My emotions were settling as Heather and I talked and mostly from knowing that Brock didn't think I was insane.
"What about you and John? How was your night last night?"
"Oh gosh, Ames. I needed that. I needed one night of a man wanting me and giving me pleasure. It felt good to be wanted again."
My cheeks warmed. I knew how she was feeling. It was incredible being wanted by Brock.
I put my hand on her knee. "I'm so glad you came to visit me. You're only four hours away. We need to get together more often."
"You have no idea how much I needed this get-away. I'm glad I came to see you, too."
"Want to have one last ride before you go?"
"Yeah, I do." She patted my leg. "Come on, sister. Let's get you feeling better so when Brock comes to see you again, you're not a hot mess."
Working on the new house on a warm day had sweat beading and trickling over my arms and chest. Grabbing a cool cloth, I put it around my neck to lower my rising body heat. I chugged water and sat down on the cement blocks. I pulled my phone from my back pocket. She hadn't texted or called. It was well into the afternoon, and I'd hoped she would've contacted me by now.
I didn't like having to leave her in the morning, not with the emotional state she was in. I understood things had happened more quickly than she was ready for. She'd gone a long time without a man's touch and now, clearly she was overwhelmed with emotions. I was sure she felt guilty about her actions. I wanted to soothe all her troubling thoughts. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, make love to her. I wanted to see her every day if she'd let me.
She was the first woman in years who had made me feel anything this incredible, and I wasn't about to lose it. Even if it took time, I didn't care how much. I wanted to know everything there was to know about her. I wanted to be the one to put a smile on her face, soothe her fears, and warm her bed.
Fire On The Farm (Second Chance Cowboy Romance) Page 7
