“Honestly, I don’t know. This whole situation has you torn up, and I hate seeing you like this, but maybe if you had some answers, any answers, you’d be able to decide what direction you want to go.”
Jared and I both lifted our heads to the sound of a vehicle coming up the drive. I rushed out of the barn and then stopped in my tracks when I saw the driver—Johann. Jared stopped next to me and glanced my direction.
“Looks like you’re gonna get answers sooner than you thought. I’ll be in the barn if you need me. Unless you want me to stay.”
“No, I got this. I think.”
I approached her SUV as she stepped out. “Johann, would you like to come inside?”
“No, Amy. I can’t stay long. I came by to tell you that Brock is out of the hospital, but I’d appreciate it if you kept your distance. He’s still not well and very confused. Seeing you would only stress him out further and the doctor said he needs rest and to avoid stressful situations for a while.”
Her words were like bullets, cutting through my emotions and ripping them to shreds. Anger eclipsed the tears threatening to escape me.
“Why do you believe I would stress him out? He’s my fiancé! I’m sure he wants me there.”
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough? He nearly died because of you. You’re not good for him. If you really love him, you’ll leave him alone.”
Before I could get another word in, she was closing the car door in my face. She rolled down the window as she started backing the SUV out of my driveway.
“Stay away, Amy. It’s what’s best for him.”
I stood, frozen like an ice sculpture as the wind whipped around me. What seemed like several minutes later, a strong hand took hold of my arm.
“Amy?”
I turned to Jared’s sympathetic eyes locked on mine. “What happened?”
Somewhere deep inside my soul, I could feel what remaining strength I had coming undone. The tears trickled down my cheeks, chilling my skin.
“I can’t, Jared. I can’t handle any of it anymore. I’m so damn tired of crying.”
Jared glanced at Rick’s truck coming up the drive then back at me. “Rick’s coming in for his shift. Let me go over a few things with him while you go inside and talk to Heather. I’ll be in shortly. And Amy…”
I looked back over my shoulder at him.
“You are going to be okay.”
Feeling numb and broken, I entered the house to Heather cooking something that smelled delicious. Too bad my appetite had been destroyed. I shimmied out of my jacket and entered the kitchen to join her.
“You look shaken up. What’s wrong?”
“I can’t do it anymore. I feel like I never should have let Brock in. My life was fine. I was content. Ever since I met him, it’s been heartbreak all over again. Johann just stopped by. Her visit wasn’t friendly. She made it very clear that I need to stay away from Brock and he’s not trying to reach me. Maybe she’s right. Maybe it is over.”
“What the hell are you talking about? He just proposed to you two weeks ago. You really think his accident and injuries have him second-guessing his proposal?”
I leaned my weight against the counter, my heart feeling heavy in my chest. “I honestly don’t know, but I can’t take this anymore. It’s affecting me to the point that I’ve neglected the ranch, my friends, and family. Maybe I was foolish to think I could have a second chance at love. Maybe Darrell was it and I need to accept that. What if Johann is right and I’m not good for Brock?”
“This woman has your emotions so twisted your rambling non-sense. You know Brock loves you and that you two are great together. Don’t let her destroy what you both have.”
“I’m not sure what we have anymore.”
As I woke, every muscle in my body argued against moving and the headache between my temples made it even more difficult to think. In the distance, I heard movement in the kitchen.
“Amy?”
“No darling. It’s your mother.”
“Did Bethany get a hold of her?”
“I spoke with her.”
“And?”
“I wouldn’t expect her to come around, Brock.”
I raised myself from the couch, the pain in my shoulder and head now throbbing. “What do you mean?”
“I told you, she can’t handle your accident. She’s too fragile of a woman. You’re better off without her anyway. Look what she did to you.”
I stood from the couch. Anger motivated my movements, eclipsing the pain. “What do you mean what she did to me?”
“I heard her next to your bedside asking you for forgiveness.”
“Ma, the accident wasn’t her fault. I took a shortcut home. It’s the fault of the drunk bastard that hit me.”
My mother approached the couch. Her face twisted in emotion. “Regardless, this woman isn’t good for you. I can see that. Why can’t you?”
“We’re not having this conversation. Amy is the woman I love. I want her to be my wife. I’m telling you now, if you did anything to interfere with that, I will never forgive you.”
I could see the Baisdin temper flare. She grabbed her purse and stormed toward the door. She turned to face me before exiting.
“Mark my words, son. That woman is going to break your heart.”
I stumbled down the steps, the previous night somewhat of a blur. A muscular leg hung over the backside of my couch. I stopped suddenly, surprised to see Jared sleeping soundly. Apparently, we’d all had too much to drink the night before. Tidbits were trickling back to my memory—lots of beer along with Jared and Heather attempting to make me forget all my pain and confusion.
From behind the couch, a rough, tired voice spoke. “Mornin’, Ames.”
I walked to the couch and leaned over it. Empty beer bottles riddled the floor and coffee table and a half-naked Jared was sprawled out across the couch cushions. My eyes caught a glimpse of his chiseled torso, and I looked away before my body’s reaction caused me anymore discomfort.
“Jeez, oh man. How much did we drink last night?”
“A lot.”
Jared sat up on the couch and ran his hand through his messy bed hair as he stared at me affectionately. “We were trying to make you feel better. I think we got a little carried away.”
I rubbed my throbbing temples. “No wonder I’m so groggy. You want anything for breakfast? I’m starving.”
“Hell yeah, I do. I’ll give ya a hand.”
Jared moved around my kitchen like he knew it well, and at this point, I guess he did. He had bacon and sausage going as I flipped eggs and buttered toast. Chugging a tall glass of orange juice helped with the headache and grogginess, but it didn’t settle the nausea.
“Last night was pretty fun. We should do it again.”
Laughter escaped me. “I’m too old for that, my body can’t seem to take it. I feel like shit.”
“You kinda look it too.”
He elbowed me and winked before stretching his arm up next to me to reach for plates out of the cabinet.
“I probably smell too, huh?”
He leaned toward me as he brought the plates down. “Nah, you smell pretty good actually.”
“That’s an improvement.”
He gently placed his hand on my back, making sure I didn’t move and knock the plates over in his hand as he moved past me. He set the plates down next to me, but his hand lingered.
“Ames.”
I turned to face him. A nervous knot bunched in my belly at the affection in his voice.
“Yeah?”
“I have something I need to confess.”
The doorbell rang and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Jared’s jaw tightened. Whoever it was had interrupted something important and he evidently wasn’t happy about it.
“I’ll get it.”
He rushed to the front door before I had a chance to respond. I assumed Rick needed something or had a question. I grabbed a plate and started filling it with food. I heard J
ared’s voice getting louder and then another voice, a very familiar voice, echoed into the house. A strange combination of elation and dread filled me.
I walked out of the kitchen to see Brock with an expression of fury on his face. He looked at me, then Jared’s half-naked body, then back to me.
“What the hell is going on?” His eyes locked on Jared. “Why are you in Amy’s house, shirtless, at seven-thirty in the morning?”
“Shit.” Followed by several more shits filled my mind.
“Brock, it’s not at all how it looks. Jared slept on the couch. Heather is upstairs. We all got tipsy last night and Jared crashed here.”
“Get your shirt and get out.”
“Brock!”
The moment my mother had walked out of my house, I struggled through taking my meds, making breakfast and a shower. Getting up and moving had been difficult, but once I got the blood pumping and food in me, things got easier. My first thought was Amy and how badly I needed to see her. Finding Jared’s car outside wasn’t unusual. Finding him inside Amy’s house, shirtless, that lit off fireworks in my mind. And to top it off, the little shit seemed annoyed, as if I was interrupting something. Then, he had the nerve to say that my mother and I had done a real number on Amy. What the hell was he talking about? Whatever he was implying didn’t matter right now, my patience was wearing thin and the Baisdin temper was rearing its ugly head.
I didn’t give a damn if I hurt his feelings. I wanted him out and I wanted my fiancée all to myself.
I nodded toward the couch, indicating he needed to get moving. He seemed to understand the gravity of the situation and made a direct line for his things. He grabbed his shirt, jacket, and boots and shoved my sore shoulder as he made his way past me.
I rubbed my aching shoulder after closing Amy’s front door. I expected her to run to me and leap into my arms, but instead she stood there with her arms crossed and too many emotions running across her face for me to understand what she was feeling.
“Did you really have to treat him like that?”
“Treat him like what? I just came out of a coma and was eager to see my fiancée, who for some reason felt she didn’t need to be by my side. I thought you’d be a bit happier to see me. What I didn’t expect, was to come here and find another man in your house.”
One emotion became very clear on her face—rage.
“Do you honestly think I didn’t want to be there? Your mother made sure I couldn’t see you. She put me on a no access list, so I couldn’t see you! I cried every night missing you. It tore me apart not being able to be there with you. Not being able to touch you or talk to you. Every morning, I called to ask if there was improvement and every day, I was told there was no change, but obviously that was a lie, because you had to have improved for the doctors to bring you out of the coma.” The tears starting falling down her red, puffy cheeks, but her anger was like soda in a shaken bottle; the pressure had become too much and now that I’d opened the wound, she was spewing.
“But did your sister or mother call me and tell me you were awake and okay? No, they couldn’t even give me the smallest bit of comfort! I came to your house a couple nights ago, wanting to be close to you, to have any part of you with me, and to my shock, I found you there with your mother—safe and sound. Do you know what that did to me? Do you know what those two weeks of not knowing, of being afraid I’d lost you like I lost Darrell, did to me?”
“Amy, I’m sorry my mother put you on the no access list because she thought the accident was somehow your fault. It was a misunderstanding.”
“Now you’re defending her? You have no idea what I’ve been through. It was hell and your response is to defend her?”
“I’m not defending, I’m explaining her actions.”
“Did she tell you that she stopped by too?”
“She did, yes. What she told me has me concerned.”
“What did she say?”
“That I shouldn’t expect you to come around.”
She huffed, and I could see the anger building up again.
“That’s because she told me not to come around again. She insisted that I stay away, that the doctors want you to avoid stress and I’ll do nothing but cause you stress.”
“She’s being prot—” I stopped mid-sentence. No point in continuing unless I wanted to sound like I was defending my mother again. “Was she right, Amy? Were you going to stay away?”
The eyes staring back at me weren’t the loving baby-blues I’d looked into over two weeks ago. The woman before me was broken. She’d been shattered and it would take time to put the pieces back together. I was ready to do that. I was ready to move in today and start loving her heart right back to me if she’d let me.
Her head lowered and the words came out barely more than a whisper. “I don’t know.”
She raised her head to meet my troubled expression. “I fell apart when you were injured. I know I wouldn’t survive it if I lost you too. Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I don’t want to feel broken anymore or worry about losing you again. I don’t want to be the woman that breaks a family apart. I truly don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t think I can be in this relationship anymore.”
I’d heard the phrase “take an arrow to the heart” and, for the second time in my life, I’d felt what the phrase meant.
“Amy, baby, don’t do this. Don’t let your fear of losing me stop you from loving me.”
I reached out to take her in my arms. If she’d let me, I could fix everything. But her body went rigid, and she put up her hand to stop me. She fought back her tears by avoiding looking at me.
“You should go.”
“Dammit, Amy, don’t do this! We have something amazing together. I want you in my life. I was making the commitment to spend my life with you and you want to throw that away? Do I really mean that little to you?”
The floor creaked above me. No doubt my raised voice had woke Heather. I moved closer to Amy and lowered my voice. “Amy, baby, let me fix this. If you want, I’ll never ride a motorcycle again. I’ll ensure my mother stays out of our lives. Please baby, don’t do this.”
In front of me, her body trembled and the tears she’d fought so hard to keep at bay rolled down her soft, red cheeks.
“I’ll give you back the ring.”
My aching shoulder was now throbbing as was the massive ache in my skull. “You think I give a damn about the ring?”
Anger filled my chest. I was quickly becoming lightheaded. I turned toward the door, needing air. I reached it and held the knob in my own trembling hand.
“Amy, if you let me walk out this door, I’m not coming back.”
I waited, hoping with all my heart that she’d tell me to stay. Silence was the response I got. I opened the door to the bright sun and cool, crisp air. I walked into it and didn’t look back at the woman who’d destroyed my heart.
Six weeks later…
The sun beat down on my bare back. I wiped the damp cloth across my neck, cooling my body down the best I could. The day was a warm one and I still wasn’t used to the Florida heat and humidity, but the contracted job paid well, and it got me far away from Kentucky and the pain and memories I’d left behind there.
Not a day went by that I didn’t think about Amy, but she’d made her choice and I had made mine. I’d taken a four-month contract to finish building five houses in a new housing development in South Florida. It was well outside of my normal territory, but a few of my employees agreed to come, and I filled in the positions of the ones who didn’t come with local folks. The job had given me an opportunity to get space from my family and the woman who’d ripped my heart in two.
“You coming out for a beer tonight, Boss?”
“Might as well. Don’t got shit else to do.”
“All right, see ya at Stevie’s at six.”
“Yeah. See ya then.”
I grabbed my t-shirt and lunchbox and loaded the truck. The last of us cleaned up and prepped for the next da
y. Back at the condo, I took a quick shower. On my way out, I checked my phone, a foolish habit I’d developed. I wouldn’t answer if she called anyway.
A short drive in my truck and I was nodding at John and a few of my employees sitting at a round table by a big screen TV hanging on the wall. I joined the group and ordered a bucket of beers for the table. Pizza and beers were delivered and shortly after, we were soon emptying one bottle after another. Before long, the boys eyes were following the waitresses more than the TV screen.
With five beers in, I was running my thumb over Amy’s cell phone number. Damn if I didn’t miss her. At times, the more I fought it, the more painful it was, but I hadn’t heard from her in a month. Apparently, she didn’t want to talk to me and part of me wanted to see her happy after all she’d been through. If her happiness meant not being with me, then I was going to have to be miserable until I got over her.
“Dude, quit fucking thinking about that bitch.”
I met John’s gaze. “Don’t call her a bitch.”
“You haven’t heard from her in weeks. Clearly, she’s moved on. It’s time you do too. Get a new piece of ass under you. Forgot about her for at least one night.” John pointed to a tall blonde with breasts larger than my hands. “Her. There. She’s been looking at you for a while now. Ah, see, now she’s headed over here. Good. Take her home with you.”
The tall blonde with a charming smile ran her hand along my back as she leaned in to speak privately.
“What’s your name, handsome?”
Before leaving the bar with the woman I’d learned was Jessica, I took a condom from John’s reserve. After a short drive home, we walked to my condo on the second floor. I opened the door for Jessica to enter. She gave a bright, cheeky grin and scanned the surroundings.
“Nice place. Yours?”
“For now. I’m renting it for a few months while I’m here on a job. It came furnished. Want something to drink?”
She eyed me with her big brown eyes and nodded. “Yeah, would love one.”
I pulled a beer from the fridge and popped the top, then handed it to her. She smiled and shook her head. “Got anything else? I don’t drink beer. I prefer liquor.”
Fire On The Farm (Second Chance Cowboy Romance) Page 19
