I tipped the beer bottle to my lips and took a swig.
“You like the hard stuff, huh?”
She winked. “You have no idea.”
My cock jumped at the sexual insinuation.
“Lemme get you something you’d like, then.”
I poured whiskey in a glass and handed it to her. In a couple swallows, she had it down. This woman clearly didn’t want to waste time. She moved closer to me and set the empty glass on the counter. With her other hand, she trailed her fingers along the waistband of my jeans.
“How’d a handsome cowboy like you end up down here?”
The memory of Amy’s and my fight slammed into my chest like a wrecking ball. I grabbed Jessica’s hand in mine. “I don’t want to think about that tonight.”
She batted her long lashes at me and gave a wicked grin. “Whatever it is, cowboy, I’ll help you forget.”
That’s just what I needed. One night to forget Amy’s face, to forget the woman I’d lost, to forget the heartache I felt every damn day. I wrapped my hands around Jessica’s ass and raised her legs around me. She held tight and gave kisses along my neck as I carried her to the bedroom.
I sat her on the bed and she moved her eager hands along the buttons of my shirt, undoing one after another. With my chest bare, she roamed her hands around my muscles and then reached for my belt.
“Damn, cowboy.” Her hand rubbed over my erection. “It’s as big as the rest of you.”
I tilted my head back as she stroked me and pulled me into her mouth. My hand fisted her hair and the other held her by the neck as I moved in and out, sliding across her wet, slick tongue.
“Damn, I needed this.”
Her moans and passionate need to please tightened my abs and groin as my orgasm shot right through me. For several moments, I felt free, not a care in the world. I laid down on the bed next to her, and she climbed above me. Her wet kisses trailed along my neck, chest, and abs and then lower, headed toward my cock.
“I need a minute, pretty girl.”
What I needed now was a shower and to sleep. All the beers I’d had were hitting me hard and as good as my body felt, my emotions felt the opposite. My guilt was eating at my core and spreading like a disrupted ants nest.
I took hold of her hips and eased her off me. “I’m sorry, Jessica, I can’t do this.” I lifted my jeans over my hips and stood to look at her. I expected to be hit and hell, I’d take it with grace. I deserved it.
“What’s her name?”
“Excuse me?”
“What’s the woman’s name that has you tore up?”
I sat back down on the bed and rubbed the headache forming between my temples. “Her name’s Amy. She was my fiancée.”
“Was?”
“Yeah. Was.”
“What happened?”
“A drunk bastard destroyed my life. I had everything I wanted before my motorcycle accident. When I woke up from a coma, I’d lost all of it. My fiancée couldn’t handle the fact that she’d nearly lost me and my mother did what she could to chase my fiancée out of my life. So, now I’m here.”
My hands rubbed along my face. As nice as Jessica was being, it wasn’t her I wanted next to me. It wasn’t her I wanted giving pleasure to my body. Jessica stood and walked out to where her purse was sitting. She returned with a business card. She’d written a number on the back.
“If you get lonely or decide you’re tired of missing her, call me. I like you, cowboy. I’d like to see you again.”
I took the card and walked her out. At the door, she stopped and turned and raised herself on her toes to kiss me. The moment her lips hit mine, guilt and tension churned in my stomach. I quickly pulled away. I gave her a cordial smile and then closed the door.
“I’m a fucking idiot.”
I tossed the card on the nearest stand and walked into the bedroom. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I landed on the bed. I pulled up Amy’s picture and thumbed over the call button.
Anger surged through me that she’d let me walk out her door. That she’d let what we had go so easily. I tossed the phone onto the bed and headed toward the shower.
Standing on the steps to my front door, I watched the real estate agent place the For Sale sign at the end of the driveway. The front door opened behind me and Grams stepped out. She rubbed my back and smiled gingerly at me.
“You sure about this?”
“I am. I need a fresh start. There’s nothing left here but painful memories.”
“It’ll be nice to have you close to home again. What about Rick and Jared? Are they coming too?”
“Not sure yet. They’re both still thinking about it. I’ll understand if they don’t come. This is their home.”
The real estate agent pulled out of the driveway, and I walked back inside to change. As I reached the steps, I had to rush the rest of the way to make it to the bathroom in time. After wiping my face and brushing my teeth, I put on work clothes and met Grams downstairs.
“I can’t seem to shake this stomach bug. Every time I’m over it and think I’m better, it comes back. I know it’s the stress.”
Grams pulled a bowl from the cabinet for the sliced fruit she had set out on the counter. A light chuckle escaped her as she poured the fruit into the bowl.
“It’s not a stomach virus.”
“Hmm?” I reached around her and stole a piece of fruit. “What do you mean, it’s not a stomach virus?”
“Amy, dear, I’ve been here for four days now, and I’ve been watching you. It’s not a stomach virus. You’re pregnant.”
My eyes blinked several times before I registered what she had said. I tried calculating back to my last period and I couldn’t remember for sure, maybe six or eight weeks ago. “I need to go to the drugstore,” is all I managed to sputter.
Sitting in the bathroom, staring at the white stick waiting for it to say my fate, was causing pins and needles to tingle all over my body. I glanced at the test. In bold letters it stated very clearly—pregnant.
My body movements were robotic. I placed the pregnancy test in the trash can and walked out to the bay window in the living room where Grams was sitting reading a book. She raised her eyes to meet mine.
“Positive, wasn’t it?”
I swallowed and nodded, still in shock.
“That Brock must’ve been like a fertile bull to get you pregnant.”
Brock.
Hearing his name sent a sting of pain right to my heart. The first two weeks had been excruciating without him. I replayed our argument in my head over and over and cried myself to sleep over the guilt and how much I missed him. Figuring out what was next had been hard to do when not long ago, we were thinking about our future together.
Deciding on a fresh start felt like the right thing for me. I wanted to focus my life on what I loved to do. I wanted to leave behind the pain of the men I’d loved. I wanted to leave behind the pain of my decision to break off the engagement. There were times I regretted my decision, but at other times, I reminded myself it was what was best for both of us.
His mother had made it very clear I wasn’t good for Brock, and I’d come to realize she was right. I came with heavy baggage and that baggage would always affect my relationship with him. I didn’t want to spend my life fearing that I’d lose him just like I’d lost Darrell, and I didn’t want him to change who he was or disown his family because of me.
Committing to my decision didn’t make it any easier, though. I missed him daily and everything somehow reminded me of him. To me, moving had been the answer. Maybe I was running away from all of it, but even if I was, moving toward something was better than remaining here feeling miserable, lonely, and wondering if I’d always regret my decision. Not that it mattered much at this point. He hadn’t called or tried to reach me either. I assumed he hated me, and I thought that was best in order for him to move on, but now everything, everything I had thought and planned came crashing down with one word. Pregnant.
“Are you going to call him?”
My thoughts scattered and my attention returned to Grams.
“No. No sense in calling him. It’s too early in the pregnancy, but I do need to call the doctor.”
Two days later, I sat in the hospital room getting the full work-up from the doctor. To my shock and surprise, I was an estimated nine weeks pregnant and the fetus was healthy. My body stopped trembling when the doctor told me my baby was okay and handed me my first ultrasound. Seeing the bean shape in the black and white photo suddenly seemed so real to me. A part of Brock Baisdin was growing inside of me. I sobbed in front of the doctor and panicked about the alcohol I had drank. The doctor said it wasn’t enough to cause any known damage but from here on out, I was to stay away from alcohol and horseback riding.
Now more than ever, I was going to need Jared’s and Rick’s help. If I couldn’t ride or lift heavy gear, I would need to bring on a third part-time employee. The idea of moving suddenly felt like something I should postpone.
“You’re really starting to show now,” Heather said behind me as I held up my shirt in front of the mirror.
“I know. Four weeks went by fast. It’s time to come clean with the guys and make the call I’ve been dreading for the last several weeks.”
“Maybe he’ll take it better than you expect.”
I lowered my shirt before joining her on my bed.
“I don’t know how he’ll react. It’s been a long time since we’ve spoken. What if he wants full custody? What if he doesn’t want to be involved at all? What if he wants to give the relationship another try?”
“Okay, twenty questions. I know it’s normal to have all these worries, but Brock is an amazing man, and I know he’ll want to be in his child’s life however he can be.”
“When you say it like that—he’s an amazing man—you make me feel like an idiot for breaking off the engagement.”
“You are an idiot for breaking off the engagement. You and Brock were such a great couple. I still don’t understand why you ended it.”
Guilt and regret churned in my stomach. “You’re right, you don’t understand. Losing Darrell was hard enough. When I thought I was losing Brock too, something snapped. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t do the relationship, the fear of losing him. I come with a lot of emotional baggage. He deserves better.”
“You think he deserves someone better than you? That mother of his brainwashed you. Made you doubt everything you two had together and intentionally sabotaged your relationship. If it wasn’t for her, I think you’d still be together.”
Thankfully, I didn’t have to let that thought simmer too long. The sounds of boots hitting hardwood floor sounded downstairs.
Heather’s brows pinched inward. “What’s Jared doing here?”
“Probably coming in for lunch or something.”
Heather’s eyes rolled. “He’s really been making himself at home around here. That doesn’t bother you?”
“No, he’s as good of a friend as you are. He worries about me.”
Heather let out a breath of air before getting up and closing the bedroom door. She lowered her voice, barely more than a whisper. “I think he more than worries about you. You haven’t noticed the way he looks at you or that he’s still single. He shouldn’t be single. He is much too hot to be single. Now he’s making himself comfortable in your house. Does he still dote over you?”
I let out a chuckle. “He doesn’t dote over me.”
“Ah, yeah, he does, like a lovesick puppy. I think he has it bad for you, but hasn’t had the right time to tell you. You better tell ‘em about that bun in the oven, before he confesses his love for you.”
“Shh, he’s coming up stairs.”
“Ames?”
The door opened and Heather stared at him gawk-eyed. “Seriously? You didn’t even knock.”
Jared rolled his eyes at her. “Yeah, nice to see you too.” His eyes settled on me and he smiled before leaning against the frame of the doorway. “I ate the last of the turkey. I’ll pick up some more. What would you like me to do with Honey and Ellie this afternoon? They both are due for work in the training ring.”
“Have Honey wear a saddle and make her walk over the bars. Ellie needs to go through the whole circuit at least once.”
“Got it. I’ll see you both later.”
Jared closed the door behind him and Heather stared at me wide-eyed. “And nothing about that was unusual to you?”
“What?”
“You’re sharing food, and he entered your closed bedroom door like it’s not a big deal to just waltz in on your business. What if you were naked?”
“He knows you’re here, and we were just talking, and no, I don’t care if he eats the food in the fridge. He replaces it. Why should he have to use a cooler when there’s a fridge right here.”
“Rick doesn’t come in here and eat.”
“That’s Rick’s choice, plus he eats as he works.”
“Amy, I love you, but you’ve become foolish in your older years.”
“Oh stop.” I walked past her toward the door. “C’mon, I can at least lead Honey while Jared exercises Ellie and you need to get going home. You said you had a hot date tomorrow and I want to hear all about how amazing this new guy is when you call me Monday.”
I waved good-bye to Heather as her SUV turned and exited my driveway. Jared walked up behind me, holding Ellie’s reins.
“You wanna take her?”
“Nah, I’ll walk Honey and get some quality time with her. You’re doing excellent with the horses, by the way. You’re training skills have really improved.”
“I did learn from the best.” He winked at me before adjusting Ellie’s reins and stepping into the saddle. “Honey is all set. Saddle is already on her.”
I watched Jared ride off into the training ring wondering if any bit of what Heather had said about Jared was true.
After several hours of work, I tucked my work gloves into my back pocket and headed for the house. My phone call to Brock couldn’t wait any longer, and I’d been working up the courage to make the call for the last hour. Before leaving the barn, Jared caught up with me.
“Hey Ames, you up for having a drink tonight?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t. I have some things I need to take care of.”
“How about tomorrow? The new guy, Devon, works tomorrow and I’d like to take you out.”
The statement took me by surprise. Take me out. Did he mean as a friend or something more? Damn Heather. She had my mind completely twisted.
“Yeah, tomorrow is fine.”
After a shower and a quick dinner, I sat at the bay window watching the sun falling into the pink and baby-blue sky peeking out between the barren trees. I thumbed over Brock’s photo nervously then took the plunge and clicked the photo. My nerves exploded as soon as it started to ring.
Sitting across the restaurant booth from John, I pulled my buzzing phone from my pocket. Seeing Amy’s photo and name on my screen put my stomach into a knot. I froze, wondering what the hell she wanted after all this time. She’d ripped my heart right out of my chest and didn’t bother to speak to me for the next two and a half months after. Why now did she have something to say?
“Dude, what the fuck? You’re staring at your phone like it’s a snake about to bite you.”
“It’s Amy.”
“Reject the call.”
“I’ll let it go to voicemail.”
“No, dude, reject the call.”
John snatched the phone out of my hand, hitting the reject button before handing it back to me. “It doesn’t matter what she’s calling for. You’ve moved on.”
Had I really? I’d gone on a few dates with Jessica and I still hadn’t let things go any further than they originally had. Admittedly, I saw her more as a distraction. Just about every damn night, Amy’s face still haunted me. I couldn’t honestly give another woman my heart when it still belonged to Amy.
John’s raised v
oice pulled me from my thoughts. “Dude, bring your ass back to the present. I asked you if you were seeing Jessica tomorrow?”
“Oh, yeah. Takin’ her out to dinner and a movie. She wants to go to some Peruvian restaurant in town. I don’t know what the hell kinda food is at a Peruvian restaurant.”
“This Jessica is pretty high-maintenance from the shit you’ve been tellin’ me. Is the pussy worth it?”
“Wouldn’t know.”
John about spit his beer out. “What the fuck do you mean, you don’t know? You’ve been on how many dates with her? What are you waiting for?”
“Jesus John, my sex life is none of your damn business.”
“All right, all right. Calm down, just making conversation. Let’s go play some pool and get your mind off shit.”
Playing pool had taken my mind off things, but now six or seven beers in and my mind was right back to Amy and the first time I’d met her. Just the thought of that night and how fucking good it felt to be inside her was making me stiff. I set the pool cue against the wall and headed for another beer from the table. My phone buzzed, and I quickly looked at the screen, hoping it was Amy again. Jessica’s text popped up on my screen. Damn, the girl was needy for attention. Something Amy never was. No, with her it was always natural. I grabbed the beer and nodded to John and the other crew members who had come in late, that I was stepping outside.
“I saw your text to call you. What’s up?”
“I was hoping we could get together tonight.”
“I can’t. I’m out with the guys.”
“I can join you. I’m in the mood to go out.”
“Not tonight, Jess. I’d like to keep it with the guys.”
“Fine. Still on for tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Pick you up at six.”
Leaning against the outside wall, I took another swig of my beer, and stared at Amy’s call from earlier. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. One phone call and it was as if the last ten weeks I’d spent trying to get over her were non-existent. As the memories flooded my mind, it was like my emotions were riding a carousel. I thumbed her picture and was about to click it when John walked out of the restaurant door.
Fire On The Farm (Second Chance Cowboy Romance) Page 20
