by Unknown
“That son of Renzo’s again.” The two of them walked to Shadow’s little corner of the world. Computers and weapons were the man’s specialty, and he soared in both. “He said he has a plan on how to get the baby to us and needs our help.”
“I don’t know if I trust the brother or not yet.”
“He did save the one baby for Julian.” Shadow pushed open the door to his sanctuary. They walked past the worktable loaded with weapons to the computer center. “My gut tells me it won’t end up the way he plans. Something fishy is going down.”
“Yeah, but if we have a chance of getting the baby back and keeping Julian from joining the Guardians, I’ll take the risk.”
Shadow smiled. “Don’t like him much?” He sat down and went right into typing on his keyboard.
“What if I don’t?”
Shadow chuckled again, “Mate, you don’t like anyone too much. That’s just one of the reasons I’m so shocked about you and the lovely lady you’ve bonded with. Never would have thought I’d live to see it. Okay, here it is.”
Dimitri leaned over Shadow’s shoulder. The message was simple.
Got help to get baby out. Forty-eight hours, meet me where Serina died. I’ll bring the baby, but you have to protect me. Deal?”
“Does Ambrose know?” Dimitri asked.
“Yeah, he sent me to find you. Said you get the call on this one. You’re show.”
“And Julian?”
Shadow shook his head “Ambrose doesn’t want him to know. Thinks he’ll try to either go with you or stop you. If he asks you anything, you’re to tell him it’s just a scouting trip.”
Dimitri read the message two more times before he made his decision. “Tell him we have a deal, and I’ll let Carissa know to get ready.” Shadow agreed and Dimitri stood up to leave. He slapped Shadow on the back of the head. “Always show respect when it comes to my bloodmate.”
Shadow laughed. Dimitri turned and left with a big smile on his face.
* * * *
Dimitri had never seen the dining hall before. It was a tremendous room, and the table Corbin and the bloodmates found was huge and perfect.
Once again Corbin had outdone himself with the lunch. Even Lucan was recovered enough to be at the table to enjoy it, though he still needed help doing simple things. His mother and father were right there with him to help.
As they all sat around eating, Ambrose recalled the past. The Elder talked non-stop about the parties he’d held, big fancy dinners, and all the holiday celebrations. Dimitri only heard about half of it. Primarily his mind was on the meeting he was going to be having with Denver, and the rest of his thoughts were on Claudia. She hadn’t joined them. She had work to do with Ivy and wanted to get caught up to be free to spend the time with him before they had to leave.
He was going to have to go out as a Guardian, not a bonded vampire. The thought hung in his mind like a heavy weight. Being a Guardian was still his life. It didn’t matter if she was a part of it, but it did scare the hell out of him. What if he didn’t come back? What would happen to her?
He glanced up at Carissa. She sat at the far end of the table, the expression in her eyes showed she had the same worries. Like always, there were unspoken words passing between them.
While Ambrose continued to talk, she pushed away from the table and walked out. Julian watched her leave. Dimitri wasn’t at all surprised when he followed her. The man had a lot of unanswered questions that Carissa refused to answer.
“You okay?” Claudia came up behind him, causing him to jump when she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Yeah,” he answered, lowering his eyes to his plate. He took a deep breath before turning his full attention on her. “You done?”
“I’m all yours for the night.”
“Why don’t we go back to my room then? I’m sure you’re going to need to be fed upon soon.”
Her face flushed, and she held out her hand. He took it to lead her from the dining room, toward the hidden doorway. On the way, he kissed her hand, because he needed to take her scent into his lungs. Hell, he needed her to remind himself he was more than just a killer. With Claudia he had something to live for.
“Are you okay?” she asked again.
Once at the door, he pulled her into his arms, hugged her tight, and closed his eyes with a sigh. “I just need to hold you. That’s all.”
* * * *
Carissa stood in front of the weapons table loading a clip for one of the many weapons in front of her. She knew the second Julian joined her, but chose not to acknowledge him for the moment. She kept pushing the bullets into the clip, letting the silence fold around them.
“Where you going?” Julian asked, strolling up behind her.
“Out.”
“Out where?”
“We have a lead, and I’m going to check it out.” She couldn’t look at him, wouldn’t. If she did, he’d see right through her.
“Is it my daughter?”
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t lie to me!” he yelled. “Everyone has lied to me enough.”
“Yes, it’s about your daughter. Denver might have her, and I’m going out to get her.”
“And if it’s a trap?”
“Then I’ll deal with it.”
“Carissa, damnit.” He blew out a breath. “Why are you doing this?”
“It’s my job.”
Julian moved fast. He grabbed hold of her arm, turned her around, and on pure instinct and reflex, Carissa had her gun cocked and pointed right at his head. They stared at each other; time feeling like it simply stood still. A twitch at his right eye, breathing normal, arms to his side, Julian stood like a statue craved of wood.
“Is this how things are going to be between us now?” he asked. “You’re going to point a gun at me?”
“Don’t mistake that I won’t shoot you if I have to,” she told him. However, deep down she knew she never could.
“And why the hell would you think you’d need to shoot me?”
“I’m not the girl you once knew.”
“Oh, I can see that.” He moved fast, faster than what she could’ve expected, taking the gun from her hand. In exchange, he backhanded her, stunning her enough for him to get the upper hand. “And I’m not the same guy you used to know either.”
He ejected the clip, slammed it and the gun on the table. In the next instant, he grabbed her by the front of her coat, gave her a hard shake before picking her up and dropping her ass on the table. Standing between her legs, he pinned both of her hands behind her back. “You forget, just like Dimitri and the rest of them. I have your blood already in my system, which means I have a part of your strength.” Carissa twisted in his hold, but couldn’t break free without hurting him. “Now you’re going to sit here and talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she stated through her teeth, not telling him that no one knew he had her blood.
Julian narrowed his eyes, his brows pinched together in the middle in an expression she remembered too well.
“Look at you.” He nodded, looking her up and down. “You’re not a fighter but a woman on the edge. You’re not sleeping, you don’t eat much, fighting all the damn time, and I know for a fact you’re running on hardly any blood.”
“I don’t need your lectures!” she snapped.
“The hell you don’t.” He got his face so close to hers their noses were barely an inch apart. “I know you still bleed inside,” he went on. “Just like I know what you’re doing now. The fighting won’t take the guilt away, no matter how many you kill.” His hold on her wrists loosened, and she quickly took hold of his face.
“It’s all I have to give to you,” she whispered. Something inside her began to crack. She could feel it and wished like hell she could push it back. If she broke down, there would be no going back. “Can’t you see that?” She felt the tears form and slowly lowered her forehead to his. “Everything I’ve ever done has been done for you.”
Julian held her hand to his face. “Stop blaming yourself. Stop looking back and forgive yourself. I have. I don’t blame you. I never have.”
Carissa looked him in the eye and gave in to the impulse she carried with her for so long. She kissed Julian as if it was the last kiss she would ever give. When it ended he hugged her close.
“Sometimes I do regret the things I’ve had to do, but don’t you understand why I had to leave you?” she asked in a whisper, the words pouring out before she could stop them. “All I have are the memories of you, frozen in my mind, and it kills me that I couldn’t save her for you.”
He enclosed her face in his hands as she held his. “Never look back there again, never hold any guilt for Serina or what you had to do.”
Sniffing back the unshed tears, Carissa pulled her head away, pushed him back, and jumped off the table. “You should go.” She had to take several deep breaths, pulling herself back together. “I have to get these things ready.’
“You turn your emotions on and off so easily.” His voice hardened. “How can you do that?”
“I can’t let myself care for you again.” She turned back around, her eyes fixed on him, feeling like she was in control once more. “You’re a weakness Julian. One I can’t afford to have.”
“I’m your reality, and you can handle it. You need to stop running and deal with this—with us and what there could be between us. I’m not running from it anymore, Carissa. Neither should you.”
“I felt your pain then,” Carissa said instead of acknowledging what he said. She couldn’t face it, face that he might be right, and she really was running from him. “Just like I can feel it now.” After all, he was Julian, her protector as a child, her friend, and at one time the love she could never have. “I felt her fear as if it was my own, and I never once took a drop of your blood. I could feel Serina giving birth and dying Julian, and I got the first real taste of how much you loved her.” A single tear slipped free from her eye. She didn’t bother trying to hide her tear even as he stood there watching and listening. “I chose to save you over her, and that decision alone kills me each and every night I wake up and see you here alone, hurting.” She finally wiped the tear away, giving him her back again.
“I’ve been living here for so long alone, I can’t be a normal woman anymore,” she added softly, lowering her head. “I see Dimitri happy, and it hurts me so much, because I’ll never have that.” Taking a deep breath, she turned. “Your destiny isn’t me; it’s those babies. All of our childhood memories are just that, memories. You need to understand no matter what happens we, can’t be together the way you want.” Slowly she reached behind her for the gun he’d put down. “My place is here, and I’ll always be here.”
“You didn’t kill her, Carissa. Renzo did.”
“I know.” She nodded. “Which is why I must kill him.” He took a step toward her, and Carissa went on the attack. She swung wide. Hitting Julian in a controlled blow on the side of the head, she knocked him out cold. Without the control, the same blow could have cracked his skull. “And you must stay here.” She knelt down, touching his face gently. “Forgive me, but I can’t let you come and risk your life. I won’t have that on my shoulders as well.”
Standing back up, she quickly grabbed her weapons and dashed from the room before anyone else might come to stop her. Renzo was hers.
* * * *
Dimitri intended to undress Claudia slowly. Instead, he stood at the foot of the bed as she took off his clothes.
Fangs were down, sharp and ready to sink into her neck. It took a hell of a lot of willpower to stand there, but he gave her what she wanted. Claudia wanted to give to him, and he was going to let her.
He raised his arms up for her to pull his shirt off. Sitting down for the removal of his boots, he laughed at her struggles. When she had him down to nothing but his boxer-briefs, Dimitri pulled her to stand between his legs for his turn.
Though he unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, she took them off, wiggling the material down her legs. He took her shirt off, leaving her to stand in her bra and panties.
Dimitri wrapped his arms around her and rested his face against her breasts, hugging her close.
“What’s wrong?” She whispered the question, holding him close.
“Now I understand why Guardians never bonded,” he said. “The pain of knowing that the time we’re together before I go out could be our last.” He glanced up at her. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I couldn’t stop.”
Dimitri closed his eyes as she brushed her hands across his face, opening then again when she told him, “I completely understand what I’ve gotten myself into. But you need to understand that I would rather have a short time with you than none at all. Haven’t you heard that old saying ‘Better to love once, than never to love at all’?”
She finished with a smile. Dimitri smiled back at her. “Are you saying you love me?”
Claudia bent down and kissed him lightly. “What if I was?” she asked, blowing against his lips.
“Then I’ll have to say you are the very first person in my life to ever love me.” He touched the side of her face briefly, moving his hand down her neck to her shoulder. Hooking a finger under the strap of her bra, he pulled it down.
Claudia reached behind her, unclasped it, and let it fall between them. “You have my heart, Dimitri,” she whispered. “Always.”
His gaze swept down her body and back up to her eyes. “And you have my soul, my forgotten soul.”
He lay back, carrying her with him. Their lips touched, lightly at first then with more hunger. Dimitri wrapped his arms around her, moved his hands down to cup her rear and tried to kiss her deeper, but Claudia had the lead. He was going to let her have it for as long as she wanted—or he could stand it.
The kiss to his lips ended, but not her mouth on his body. Claudia kissed his chin and made a heated trail down his neck to his chest with her lips and tongue. God, the emotions that flooded through him, the sensations, and her love, were overwhelming and comforting at the same time. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to handle it all. He’d always been the one in charge. With her, he wasn’t.
Her tongue touched his nipple, and he hissed with still another physical sensation. Dimitri felt and sensed her innocence in the action, and fuck if it didn’t feel as though heaven had just landed on his head.
She teased the nub with the tip of her tongue before closing her lips over it, kissing it, giving it a bite.
“Hey, now.” He groaned with a smile. “You start biting, and I’m going to be tempted to do the same.” He made sure she saw his fangs and watched her shiver.
“Promise?”
“Count on it.”
She licked her lips, and once more a rosy hue crept into her cheeks. “I want to really taste you, Dimitri. All of you. Can I?”
I’m so fucked! His cock jerked, and he would have sworn he was on the brink of coming in his damn shorts just because she asked the question. It wasn’t his blood she was asking for, but his flesh.
His mouth went dry, and he wondered if he was going to be able to talk. He had to take a few deep breaths before he even attempted to answer her. “Whatever you want.”
She bit her lower lip and squirmed herself down between his legs. Dimitri held his breath, watched her, and feared embarrassing himself when she took hold of his briefs and pulled them down.
One thing he wasn’t going to tell her, at least not then, was he had never had a woman go down on him. He’d had sex in the past and fed from others, but when it came to any of his lovers going down on him—yeah, that never happened.
But it sure as hell was about to!
Dimitri closed his eyes, fisted both hands in the pillow under his head, and tried like hell to steady his breathing. Fuck, if he could control shit. Her warm breath touching his cock was enough to make any sane man go nuts.
“I don’t know if I can—” he began, the word choking off in his throat. She too
k hold of him, and her mouth closed around the head. “Oh, fuck!” he cried in a moan.
She took not quite a third of his length into her mouth, sucking him hard. The pleasure exploding behind his eyes and left him hissing. Up and down she pulled, suckling on him until he knew, without a doubt, he was going mad from the pleasure.
He wasn’t going to last. Dimitri knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold back for much longer, and he sure as hell didn’t want to explode yet.
“Claudia.” He panted her name, fighting with himself to not buck and make her take more of his cock into her mouth or down her throat. “I can’t hold on.”
She released him with a popping sound, her hand still moving up and down on him. “What? The big bad Guardian can’t handle something after all.”
He chuckled. “Oh, that does it!”
Dimitri spring, pulled her away from his cock, and he tossed her to the bed on her hands and knees. He ripped away her panties and with one powerful surge thrust inside her to the hilt. Claudia gasped loudly, arched her back, and pressed back against him.
He pushed her hair to the right side, kissed the back of her neck, and held still inside her.
“I love the way your pussy stretches tightly around my cock,” he said in that near purr she pulled from him. Claudia shivered, and he scraped his fangs against her neck. “You were made only for me, Claudia.”
She dropped her head and sighed. “Yes.”
Fangs teasing her neck, Dimitri moved his hips slowly. He withdrew from her and sharply, powerfully thrust back in. She fisted her hands into the sheets, and he watched her breathing, heard it leave in a sounding rush as he had during the time she sucked his cock.
He made sure to move slowly, wanting her to savor as much as he had. He pulled his cock out enough to have her push back and bury him into her body again, but he kept complete control. He wanted to build her up gradually, to make this night as special as he could just in case.
