Iva Honeysuckle Meets Her Match

by Candice Ransom

  Aunt Sissy Two scrambled out of her chair. Mike leaped off the lifeguard stand and bent over Arden’s motionless body.

  Just then, Heaven and London came running up. They were wet from swimming.

  “Mama!” Heaven exclaimed. “Guess what? London’s mother and father asked me to go with them on a boat trip tomorrow! Is it okay? Can I go?”

  Iva’s knees buckled. She toppled over in a heap.

  Chapter Nine

  Heaven’s Secret

  Nobody paid any attention to Iva. She got up and stumbled over to the lifeguard stand, where strangers had formed a crowd.

  “Get back, please,” Mike ordered, opening his first-aid kit. “Give her some air.”

  Arden lay on her back. Her eyelids flickered just a little.

  She’s faking! Iva thought.

  “My poor baby! Should we call an ambulance?” Mrs. Honeycutt asked Mike.

  “Let me try smelling salts.” He rummaged through his first-aid kit and took out a white capsule. Crushing it between his fingers, he held it under Arden’s nose. The strong smell of ammonia mingled with Arden’s suntan oil.

  Arden’s eyelashes fluttered. “Where am I?” she asked weakly. “I can’t move.”

  Iva could not believe the act her sister was putting on. She reached over and pinched the back of Arden’s knee.

  “Ow! You little—” Arden sat bolt upright and slapped Iva’s arm.

  “I thought you couldn’t move!” Hunter said accusingly. “You big fat phony, Arden Honeycutt! You stole my ‘Act Desperate’ before I could use it!”

  “The way you were showing off, Miss Circus Acrobat, I had to do something.”

  “Should I call the EMT guys?” Mike asked. He looked confused.

  Mrs. Honeycutt helped Arden to her feet. “She’s fine. Thank you for your help, young man.” She led Arden away as the crowd broke up.

  Iva hopped along beside them. Her mother was white-hot mad. It was nice that somebody else was in trouble for a change.

  “What you did was very foolish,” Iva’s mother told Arden. “What if someone needed the lifeguard for a real emergency? Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again!”

  “Get your towel,” Aunt Sissy Two ordered Hunter. “Arden’s, too. Bring your things over by us where we can keep an eye on you two.”

  “See what you did?” Hunter said, glaring at Arden.

  Arden and Hunter spread their towels next to their mothers’ chairs. They lay down and simmered, not talking to anyone, not even each other.

  Heaven was still waiting for an answer. “Mama, you didn’t say if I could go on the boat trip with London tomorrow. Can I?”

  “We’ll pay, of course,” London put in, like she could persuade anybody’s parents.

  “A free trip, Mama! Can I go?”

  “Not now, Heaven,” said Aunt Sissy Two.

  Even Heaven knew enough to drop the subject. “Let’s go back in the water,” she said to London. They took off, giggling and holding hands like best friends.

  Iva watched them. Heaven was going on the boat trip. Could life possibly get any more unfair?

  “Iva, don’t look so glum,” her mother said. “Tell you what. We’ll make pizza tonight instead of going out.”

  “We have to stay in?” Iva said, wondering how this was supposed to cheer her up.

  “We don’t want any dumb old homemade pizza,” Arden said sullenly, forgetting she was still in the doghouse.

  “Yeah, we want to go on the boardwalk,” added Hunter.

  Aunt Sissy Two frowned. “Count yourself lucky we didn’t send you both back to the house for the rest of the day.”

  Arden shot Hunter a look. Hunter gave a slight nod. Iva caught the exchange and suspected they were up to something.

  But she had her own worries. If they stayed home all evening, Heaven would have plenty of time to spring her tattle-trap.

  Supper was torture. Iva could only nibble at her pizza, waiting for Heaven to deliver her knockout punch.

  But Heaven rattled on about her trip instead. “London says the boat carries eighty-nine passengers, but only thirty can sit on top. London says we’ll get seats on top, no problem.”

  Iva was itching to ask Heaven if she was going to keep quoting London for the rest of her life, but didn’t want to call attention to herself. Heaven had a boatload of tattling stored up, yet she didn’t even glance in Iva’s direction.

  “We’ll hear all about your trip when you get back tomorrow,” Aunt Sissy Two told Heaven. “Let someone else talk.”

  “Just one more thing.” Heaven turned to Iva’s mother. “Aunt Sissy!”

  Iva jumped like she’d been shot. This was it! Heaven was going to drop the bomb. In her final hour, Iva didn’t even have a whole slice of pizza.

  “Heaven, I’m right here,” Iva’s mother said. “What is it?”

  “Will you French-braid my hair tomorrow? You do it best. I want my hair perfect for the boat trip.”

  “Of course,” said Iva’s mother. “Who wants more pizza?”

  No one answered. Arden and Hunter sulked over their plates throughout the meal. Lily Pearl and Howard leaned on their elbows, half-asleep.

  “I think everybody’s played out,” said Aunt Sissy Two. “Good thing we stayed in this evening. Heaven, will you and Iva clear the table? We need to get the little ones in the bathtub.”

  Arden, who’d been slumped in her seat like a marionette with cut strings, sprang to life and grabbed her aunt’s plate. “We’ll do the dishes, won’t we, Hunter?”

  “After that, we’re going in our room,” Hunter said, too loudly.

  “Yeah, we have some letters to write, and then we’ll go to sleep early.” Arden slathered it on pretty thick, Iva noticed. Something was up. Usually her sister had to be forced to bed with a cattle prod.

  “I wish I had a picture of this,” Iva’s mother remarked to Aunt Sissy Two. “Our oldest girls actually volunteering to do the dishes!”

  “Did you ever find your camera?” Aunt Sissy Two asked.

  Mrs. Honeycutt shook her head. “I put it in my beach bag; haven’t seen it since.”

  From across the table, Heaven aimed a beady-eyed look right at Iva and opened her mouth. Iva took a huge gulp of iced tea and choked, spraying tea all over herself.

  Heaven’s big moment for tattling passed as Iva’s mother clapped Iva on the back, Arden and Hunter efficiently whisked plates away, and the little kids were herded, bleating like lambs, to the bathroom.

  Iva went out onto the front porch and sat down on the steps to do some serious thinking. She couldn’t live in fear of Heaven. She had to do something now.

  Her idea of going with Mr. Smith on his secret route was a good one. But Mr. Smith’s car wasn’t parked in its usual spot, which meant he was out, possibly already on his nightly mission.

  In her mind’s eye she could see the map on the coffee table in Mr. Smith’s room. The marshes began at the edge of town. The first red circle was only a few blocks from their house. All Iva had to do was wander around in the marsh until she heard Chessie make the terrible cry she’d heard on Mr. Smith’s CD player. That would lead her right to the sea serpent’s nest.

  Nobody would miss her for a while. Arden and Hunter were slamming and banging in the kitchen. Her mother and Aunt Sissy Two were busy giving the little kids baths. Heaven was probably laying out her dumb old boat-trip outfit for tomorrow.

  Iva stood up. She should change into her discovery shorts and get her flashlight. But Heaven would ask a million questions about where Iva was going. Captain John Smith hadn’t always had his exploring equipment. She would do without, too!

  She skipped down the porch steps, dodged around the corner of the house, and cut through the old ladies’ yard. As she zigzagged down the next two streets to throw any trackers off her trail, she passed grown-ups walking dogs and kids on skateboards.

  The last street dead-ended at the marsh. Tall trees and zillions of green plants seemed to swallo
w the world. Blackbirds shrieked in the treetops, and dragonflies zipped over the dark, grassy water.

  Iva closed her eyes to summon all her discovering strength. Ahead lay uncharted wilderness that hid alligators and poisonous snakes and gigantic spiders…and one sea serpent.

  When she opened her eyes, she saw two things that filled her with annoyance.

  One was a paved bike path winding through the uncharted wilderness. A bike path! What, no signs that said, THIS WAY TO CHESSIE’S NEST?

  The other annoying thing waved its lady-size hand in front of Iva’s face.

  “Are you in a trance?” Heaven asked, snapping her fingers.

  “What are you doing here?” Iva could not believe it. All of her zigging and zagging had been useless.

  “I watched you leave. You didn’t tell anybody. I followed you to bring you back so you won’t get in trouble.” Heaven stared at her. “Your face is all red. Are you feeling okay?”

  Iva was surprised her head didn’t explode from anger. “I’m fine! I came out here by myself for a reason.”

  “What reason?”

  “None of your beeswax.” She knew Heaven wouldn’t budge until Iva confessed her mission. Or told a whale of a lie. She decided a lie was safer.

  “If you must know, I’m really upset that London’s taking you on the boat trip and not me. So I just had to be alone.” She hung her head.

  Acting wounded was even better than fighting. Dragging her feet like a worn-out buffalo, Iva shuffled down the path into the marsh.

  Heaven hurried to catch up. “Maybe London will take you on the boat next.”

  “Yeah, right. How many times are London’s parents going to ride that boat?” Iva picked up her pace, hoping to lose her naturally slower cousin.

  Heaven chugged along beside Iva like she was riding a motorcycle. “Iva, you know why London likes me? Because I don’t plan every minute of my day like you do. I’m free as a bird, like she is.”

  A bolt of lightning should have struck Heaven just then, Iva thought. “What about your Daily Life at the Beach cards?” she said. “Does free-as-a-bird London know about them?”

  The path narrowed, and they could no longer walk side by side. Thick vines with leaves like elephant ears brushed Iva’s knees.

  “You’re just jealous,” Heaven snorted, slapping at a fan-shaped leaf. “London and I have a lot more in common—”

  Just then, a sound ripped through the marsh.

  WAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

  Fine hairs rose along Iva’s arms. That was the exact same cry that was on Mr. Smith’s CD player! She’d have known it anywhere! Only the sea monster could make that inhuman call.

  “Did you hear that?” Iva whispered.

  “What—?” Heaven began, but Iva yanked her down so that they were crouching in the middle of the path.

  WAAAAHHHH!

  They must be very close to the nest, Iva figured, her heart thumping. She hadn’t figured on making the discovery with Heaven tagging along. But maybe it was a good thing. Since Iva didn’t have a camera to take a picture of Chessie on her nest, Heaven would be a witness.

  “Listen,” Iva said, lowering her voice. “Whatever happens, don’t be scared. I don’t think she’ll bother us. She knows me, sort of.”

  “Scared of what? Who knows you?” Heaven shook off Iva’s grip and stood up.

  WAAAHHHH!

  The cry was almost upon them. Somehow the serpent was moving swiftly through the shallow waters of the marsh. Chessie must have had legs! And the monster sounded very hungry.

  Iva stood up and stuck out her chin bravely. If this was truly the end, she would not go down like a coward.

  Around the bend of the bike path came a young couple pushing a pink stroller. The baby girl inside the stroller was bawling her lungs out.

  “Sorry,” the mother said as they swerved around Iva and Heaven with the stroller. “She needs her nap.”

  “Waaaaaaaahhhhh!” The baby’s cry grew fainter as the young couple hustled up the path.

  Iva stared after them. A baby. How could she have made such a mistake? Was she losing her touch as a great discoverer?

  “What was all that about?” Heaven asked. “That stuff about being scared and somebody bothering us?”

  “Nothing. Just forget it.”

  Heaven pointed her finger at her temple and rotated it in the classic gesture that meant “You’re cuckoo.” “I think you were out in the sun too long today. Your brain is fried.”

  By some miracle, nobody had missed either of them. Arden’s and Hunter’s bedroom door was closed tight. Iva’s mother was trying to dry off a seal-slick Lily Pearl. Howard was zonked out on his sofa bed in the living room.

  Trying to avoid attention, Iva went into the bathroom and wet her toothbrush as usual. She ran her tongue over her teeth. They felt delightfully coated. Her back teeth were packed with popcorn hulls. Her braids smelled funky. She loved being filthy.

  But tonight had been a complete failure. Iva couldn’t catch a break. Only Heaven had a lucky penny. Only Heaven was going to ride the Chesapeake Zephyr with London tomorrow. Only Heaven was going to drip pure luck the rest of her life. And Iva was going to bust rocks the rest of her life, for losing her mother’s camera.

  On the sleeping porch, Heaven was kneeling by her bed. Her head was bent and her lips were moving.

  “Aren’t you done praying yet?” Iva asked. Then she heard the rustle of paper.

  Heaven wasn’t saying her nightly prayers. She was counting money.

  Iva jumped on Heaven’s bed in a flash. “Where’d you get all that?”

  “It’s mine!” Heaven stacked the bills. “I brought it from home.”

  “You’ve been holding out! How much you got?”

  “Twenty-seven dollars. I’m gonna use some of it to buy presents for Daddy and Miz Compton. And…something for London.”

  “London!”

  “She’s my friend. She’s nice to me.” Heaven’s tone implied Iva wasn’t.

  With that much money, Iva could have bought her mother a new camera. Maybe even paid the money she owed London and paid back Lily Pearl, too.

  She licked her lips. This had to be handled delicately. “I don’t suppose you’d let me borrow it. For a really good cause.”

  “What cause?” Heaven flipped through the bundle of cash. “You mean your mother’s camera that you lost?”

  “Please; it’s a matter of life and death.” Iva cast her eyes down, trying to look humble and long-suffering.

  “I might loan it to you,” Heaven said slowly. “For thirty percent interest.”

  “Thirty percent! That’s…” Iva didn’t know how to do fractions.

  “Eight dollars and ten cents,” Heaven said. “Up front. Take it or leave it.”

  “If I had eight dollars and ten cents—” She stopped. “What’s that noise?”

  She heard a squeaking sound, like a window being raised. Then something crashed into the snowball bushes; this was followed by a second crash.

  Iva and Heaven ran over to the screen and peered into the darkness. Two shapes skulked across the backyard, whispering and giggling.

  “Burglars!” Heaven cried. “Call the police!”

  Iva had a suspicion. She fetched her flashlight and pointed it at the figures. Then she clicked it on. Two pale faces were trapped, wide-eyed, in the beam.

  “It’s Arden and Hunter,” Iva said, “sneaking out to the boardwalk.”

  Chapter Ten

  Lily Pearl’s Revenge

  Hunter screamed. Arden yelled, “Be quiet!”

  Lights snapped on in the house. Iva’s mother came out onto the sleeping porch.

  “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “Look at the prowlers we caught,” Iva said, dancing the flashlight beam around her sister’s face.

  “Turn that thing off!” Arden barked.

  Iva’s mother strode over to the screen door. “Arden and Hunter Honeycutt! Get your tiny heinies in the house r
ight this minute.”

  “What’s gonna happen to them, Aunt Sissy?” Heaven asked eagerly. She loved it when other people were in trouble.

  “You and Iva go to bed. It’s late.” Iva’s mother shut their door on her way out.

  Iva climbed into her bed. “Boy, Arden really showed herself today. I bet she’s grounded till she’s seventy-five.”

  “Hunter, too,” Heaven said from the darkness.

  “I’m never gonna act like that over boys.”

  “Me, neither.”

  A companionable silence stretched between them. As always, Heaven fell asleep first, snoring like thunder.

  The next morning, Iva launched herself out of bed. “Get up!”

  “What’s the rush?” Heaven said. “Oh! Hunter and Arden!”

  They hurried to the kitchen, hoping to witness the downfall of their older sisters.

  Arden and Hunter sat at the table, glowering at untouched plates of toast and eggs.

  Across from them, Iva’s mother and Aunt Sissy Two sipped coffee. Lily Pearl and Howard spooned dry Cheerios straight from the box, swinging their legs.

  “The big girls are in trouble,” Lily Pearl cheerfully told Iva and Heaven.

  “They got yelled at,” Howard said.

  “We’re too late,” Iva said to Heaven.

  Aunt Sissy Two poured herself the last of the coffee. “Bread’s in the toaster, girls. I’ll fix your eggs.”

  “Thanks, Aunt Sissy,” said Iva, sitting down. “I’m not that hungry.”

  “Scrambled for me,” Heaven said. No excitement ever caused her to miss a meal.

  Arden glared at Iva. “Thanks for the spotlight last night, warden.”

  “Don’t blame me for your jailbreak.” Iva snagged a stray Cheerio and ate it.

  “Arden and Hunter have to stay within our sight the rest of the vacation,” said Mrs. Honeycutt. “We’ve had enough of their shenanigans.”

  Iva wondered when Arden was going to try to shift her mother’s hairy eyeballs off her and Hunter onto somebody else. She didn’t have to wait long.

  “Did you know Iva hasn’t had a single shower since we came here?” Arden declared. “Over four days without a bath!”

  Everyone stared at Iva. She shrank in her seat but imagined fumes radiating from her unwashed self. She could hide, but she still smelled bad.