While he was installing the light fixture, Brunstetter bragged about how he had paid cash for his three vehicles (a pickup truck, a Ford Bronco, and a Ford Taurus) and that he had a 19-acre parcel of land in West Virginia with a small cabin on it. He also told her how his residential power-washing business serviced upscale neighborhoods at a rate of $1,000 to $1,500 per house. Lisa was impressed.
Although they worked on the light fixture for a while, it was the wrong voltage, so Brunstetter gave up on installing it and decided to get cleaned up. Lisa went downstairs while he showered. When he came downstairs a few minutes later, Lisa was happy to see that he looked much better dressed in clean clothes. He took her on a tour of the rest of the house and even pointed out a bedroom that he said would be perfect for Lauren. Looking back, this was another red flag she missed; they weren’t even dating yet, and he had their lives completely arranged. But she thought he was wonderful and decided not to say anything.
“We spent much of the afternoon talking, finding we had a lot in common, and he seemed to be a gentle and sincere person, despite his imposing physical presence,” said Lisa. “He indicated that he’d placed his profile online in the hopes of finding a wife within a year’s time, as he felt he was ready to settle down.”
This was just what Lisa wanted to hear, red flags or not. She wanted the same thing.
Instead of Brunstetter making his famous chicken Alfredo as he had promised, they drove to a riverside bar, where he played pool while they talked. He seemed to know everyone at the bar, and by the end of the night, Lisa was euphoric and even let him kiss her. When they returned to his house, he suggested that she sleep on the sofa in the living room since it was already so late. He appeared to be sincere; he left her alone, and in the morning, they had a chance to chat a bit more. Although Brunstetter said he wanted to pursue a relationship, he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get serious. In fact, he said he wanted to date some of the other people he had met on the online dating website and encouraged her to do the same. She was surprised by his honesty but pleased that he wasn’t forcing her into any commitment too quickly. She thought that maybe this could work out after all.
They talked that night on the phone, which then became their routine every night thereafter. She met David for their prearranged date but found that he was too wrapped up in his own life to make room for anyone else. Besides, she had Brunstetter now.
Just before Memorial Day, Lisa called Brunstetter and asked what his plans were for the weekend. He said one of the women he had met on the site was flying in from Chicago. Since they had made these plans before he met Lisa, Brunstetter said he had to honor his invitation. Although this woman would be staying at his house, Brunstetter told Lisa that he didn’t plan on having sex with her. Lisa trusted Brunstetter wholeheartedly.
The following Monday, Brunstetter called and told Lisa he missed her. His lady friend from Chicago was long gone, and he wanted to see Lisa and even asked if he could bring his son Josh to her house for an impromptu barbecue that afternoon. Lisa was elated and thought it was perfect timing for Josh to meet Lauren. While Lisa was busy grilling burgers and making the rest of the dinner, Brunstetter played with Josh and Lauren. Though Josh seemed a bit quiet and reserved for a young boy, Lisa decided that he was just shy around strangers. Lauren liked Brunstetter right from the start.
By June 2000, Brunstetter and Lisa were spending less time at her apartment and more time at his house, and most of the time Lauren was there with them. Brunstetter came home one day and said he had hurt his back at work and needed to take some time off from his business. Lisa didn’t think twice about it. In July, Josh went back to his mother’s house, and Brunstetter said he could watch Lauren during the day while Lisa went to work. Lauren told Lisa that Brunstetter was fun to be with, which Lisa loved to hear. She could feel herself falling in love with him.
One weekend, Brunstetter took Lisa on an outing to his quaint cabin in West Virginia.
“It was actually a pop-up camper with a broken crank mechanism that had been tied to a tree to keep the canvas up,” she said. “There was no plumbing or power, the canvas was torn; it was infested with bees and ants, and had clearly provided a cozy winter home for small woodland creatures.”
Brunstetter explained that the camper was just a temporary place and that he planned on building a house just for her. He called her his true love. She was captivated and believed him, of course.
Then, he began pressuring her about getting married. It would be best to get married before September, he said. That way, Lisa could enroll Lauren in school in his district so she wouldn’t have to change schools later on.
While this made sense to Lisa, Brunstetter began to express some rather unusual ideas about marriage. He said he wanted their marriage to be open so he could explore his sexuality with others. He said he needed to have sex with someone else—with or without Lisa—a few times a year. If she couldn’t agree to that, he said their relationship would have to end.
Lisa was devastated. She couldn’t agree to those terms, and she told him so. They didn’t talk about it any further, but by the end of the day, Brunstetter’s attitude had changed completely; he said he intended to be 100 percent faithful to Lisa.
“I thought he had been pulling my leg the whole time, just to see how I’d react,” she said. “It had to be a joke, right?”
On August 14, 2000, Brunstetter and Lisa were married. Brunstetter chose the date because he said it was exactly 6 months before and after Valentine’s Day. Lisa thought this was the most romantic thing she had ever heard, but her happiness didn’t last long.
“Donnie often commented on how attractive he found almost every woman he met, suggesting frequently that we take one to bed with us,” said Lisa. “Even on our honeymoon, he kept bringing this up. He even joked that when Lauren turned 18 that he would divorce me and marry her.”
Lisa didn’t take him seriously. Brunstetter never went back to work during the time they were married. All he did was care for Lauren while Lisa was at work. He made sure Lauren ate breakfast, went to school, and returned home safely. During the summer, he spent all day with Lauren. Lisa felt this was totally acceptable behavior for a stepfather, especially since he wasn’t working.
But the longer Brunstetter was unemployed, the more of a toll it took on their marriage. He never applied for or received unemployment, Social Security, or any other disability assistance to help out financially. He had lofty ideas for business ventures. At one point, he announced his intention to become a limo driver, but Lisa soon discovered he had DUIs, suspensions, and moving violations on his driving record, precluding any such employment. Another time, he said he wanted to work as a locksmith, but it came out that he had been convicted of breaking and entering and that idea quickly fizzled. He even suggested selling Lauren’s used underwear on eBay. Lisa thought he was joking but later realized that she should have seen this as a red flag, too. The couple began arguing more and more. Finally, Lisa couldn’t take it any longer and, in 2002, she left him. Their divorce was finalized on November 27, 2002.
Lisa started to rebuild her life with Lauren, who was then 11 years old. By the time of Lauren’s 14th birthday, in 2005, Lisa discovered that Lauren had been cutting herself with razor blades.
“I was shocked, frightened, and confused,” Lisa said. “I got her into therapy, and 9 months later she admitted that Brunstetter had sexually abused her from the very beginning. I was simultaneously angry at the monster that had mutilated my child and devastated for my injured daughter. I was sure she intended to kill herself.”
Later that year, Lisa enrolled Lauren in a program designed to help children who have been sexually molested, and over time, the teenager began to heal. Lisa filed charges against Brunstetter in September 2007.
In her impact statement at the trial in July 2008, 17-year-old Lauren offered the following testimony to the court:
My mother tells me stories of a younger Lauren, a person I can’t fi
nd anymore. If Donnie had never done what he did, things might be different. I watched my mother’s heart break when she learned what he had done to me and believed she should somehow have known about it and made it stop. The things that happened to me when I was 8, 9 and 10 years old were things I was powerless to stop. I now see that Donnie didn’t love my mom and he didn’t love me. He was using my mom to get to me and using me to satisfy his perverted desires. None of this was my fault, or my mom’s fault, and it’s time for Donnie to pay for all the suffering he has put us through. Because of what Donnie did to me I have had a lot of problems to deal with. I have countless emotional, mental and physical scars. I have experienced things that no innocent child should have to deal with. I am not a kid anymore, and I haven’t been in a long, long time. I was introduced to adult experiences I did not understand in a way that was absolutely wrong. I am suspicious of people who try to befriend me. I don’t know who I can trust. And I feel like everyone who meets me can tell I am different and thinks less of me as a result. I want Donnie Brunstetter to be in a place where he can’t hurt anyone else.
Brunstetter was sentenced on August 20, 2008. Of the 15 charges brought against him, he was found guilty of six: two charges of child abuse, unnatural or perverted practice; second degree sex offense; third degree sex offense; and second degree assault. He received 15 years in prison, most of which were suspended; he still had to serve 5 years of his sentence. He was also required to register as a sex offender and to pay court costs.
Brunstetter tried to get his sentence reduced and the charges against him dismissed. His requests continued through October 2009, but on November 2, the state attorney’s office called Lisa to advise her that Brunstetter had changed his mind about the appeal.
“Donald wrote a letter to the judge admitting his guilt and withdrew his appeal,” said Lisa. “He requested that a copy be sent to me and to my daughter, as he expressed his remorse for the abuse and stated clearly that none of what happened was her fault and that he hoped she would continue to get the counseling she needs to move past this.”
Lisa and Lauren both remain in therapy and continue their efforts to put the past behind them. According to Lisa, she intends to remain single.
Donald Scott Brunstetter after he was finally charged with sexually abusing his stepdaugher [Courtesy of Anne Arundel County Police Department]
Just Trying to Help a Friend
Anonymous: “Amy L, is the one I love … Amy L is the one I love.”
Jojobriggs: “And Amy, I know you for the fake kind dirty slut you really are, remember that.”
Funfunfun: “So Amy you still sleeping around with your best friends men and trying to deny it or your own family members?”
Anonymous: “do not worry Amy this is all being said for your own good and betterment of yourself.”
JohnBradshawLayfiend: “Amy I love you. By god you are the sexies thing ever invented.”
Lola: “Go to hell along with Ame L she is a peace of crap.”
In May 2004, the comments on Amy Lawson’s blog arrived in quick succession, and all of them originated from the same IP address. She knew who it was and wondered when the harassment would ever end.
It was only 3 years earlier that Amy had been an outgoing high school junior in coastal Connecticut. In June 2001, one of Amy’s friends complained that someone—she assumed it was a man—was harassing her, constantly sending IMs. Amy decided to help her friend by sending an IM to this annoying pest, whose screen name was “Fink,” asking him to stop IMing her friend. Her request was polite but firm, and Fink did as she asked. But then he channeled all of his attention to Amy instead.
For the next 3 years, Amy was inundated with dozens of IMs every day from Fink. Since she used her full name as her screen name, it was easy for Fink to find her home address by searching the white pages online. At first, he sent gifts to her home: a teddy bear, flowers, cards. She quickly threw them away.
Later that summer when she went to the local gas station, a young male attendant about her age came over to her car to pump gas and began talking to her.
“You’re Amy, right?” he asked. Amy was puzzled for a moment until he introduced himself as Fink. She could hardly wait to leave. But before she could, Fink tried to give her a DVD. She handed it back to him, saying that she wasn’t interested, and drove away. Fink then started sending love letters to her home address. Again, she threw them away. When Amy graduated from high school in June 2002, Fink sent her a $100 money order through the mail as a graduation present. Amy sent it back to Fink; he returned it, and she sent it back to him again. But he was unrelenting: He sent it to Amy one more time, at which point she simply tossed the check on the end table in the living room. Finally, Amy’s mother found it, saw who it was from, and knowing Fink had been harassing Amy, promptly threw it in the trash.
Amy blocked all the IM screen names that she knew Fink had created and politely asked him to leave her alone. But he still wouldn’t take no for an answer. There were some weeks when there were no IMs, and then suddenly, he would send more IMs under a new screen name. His IMs and emails continued even after she moved to San Diego to start college in August 2003.
In May 2004, Fink’s IMs suddenly stopped. Amy thought the entire ordeal was over. She believed Fink had finally moved on, so she breathed a sigh of relief. But her joy was short-lived. Fink simply changed online mediums and started to post comments on her blog instead:
Bjbob899: maybe your just a spick now like your boyfriend
Bjbob899: dirty whore
Bjbob899: i was promised a blow job
AmyL: please stop Iming me
Bjbob899: you promised me a blow job at a race
AmyL: please stop IMing me
Bjbob899: So the blow job offer was a hustle?
AmyL: please stop IMing me
Bjbob899: ok white girl you win..Boy buy
Fink tracked down Amy’s boyfriend’s email address and began harassing him in hopes that he would ask Amy to respond.
When his appeals to Amy’s boyfriend went unheeded, Fink opened an account on the blog-hosting site LiveJournal and began posting an unrelenting stream of entries professing his love for Amy, all while she kept asking him to stop. On May 18, 2004, one of Fink’s posts made Amy very uneasy. Fink began talking about her parents’ house: “Can anybody say Egging a certain house on Geer ave [Amy’s parents lived on Geer Avenue] on video? Speaking of Geer ave this brings me to something I want to say about a former friend of mine named Amy L … I never judged you one bit you dirty rotten skank now did i? Amy your not even worth the bandwidth this fuckin journal is written on.”
That evening, Fink hammered away at Amy with IMs from four different screen names. But this time, the tone of his IMs began to frighten her:
6:46:18 PM: Amy what happens to your parents house tonight I am not responsible for
6:47:40 PM: you intruded in my life for the last time you cruel psychopathic bitch
6:49:33 PM: just for the record I feel bad about your parents house but you made it personal not me
6:53:55 PM: Look Aimee I am sorry I can not change the past
6:54:45 PM: This hurts me more then it hurts you
6:55:27 PM: But we both realiise what you did to me was screwed up
6:56:43 PM: Amy do you not care about anything
6:57:28 PM: lol I threten to do something to your parents house and you do not care lol … some daughter you are
6:58:24 PM: all’s i want is an appology
7:03:50 PM: Amy
7:03:51 PM: Amy
7:03:53 PM: Amy
7:03:54 PM: Amy
7:04:15 PM: Amy
7:10:20 PM: I am sorry
7:10:28 PM: I love you always have always will
7:13:27 PM: we used to be best friends … what changed
7:15:18 PM: Amy I am offering to stop
7:16:35 PM: All’s I want is an ppology
Amy reread one of his comments in sheer disbelief: “I
love you always have always will.”
“Those were pretty deep feelings for someone who knows me in no greater detail than having pumped my gas one time,” she said. “I wanted to call the police before this, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure they would consider him sending me gifts enough to arrest him for stalking. I had no idea it would get to this point.”
The next day, Amy’s father, Bryan, went to the local police department and filed a complaint on Amy’s behalf. He told the police about the online harassment she was enduring, how she was frightened, and how Fink had threatened to damage her parents’ house. The officer assigned to the case asked Amy to fax any relevant information directly to him.
“Within 24 hours, the officer was holding 25 pages of conversations, away messages, etc. that showed Fink had been harassing me,” Amy said. She was elated when the police officer called her with news that an arrest warrant for Fink was being issued and that an officer had warned Fink in person to stop harassing Amy.
But Fink didn’t like the police appearing on his doorstep. He didn’t waste any time posting his thoughts on LiveJournal the next day:
I took something wayyyyyy too far yesterday and I would like to apologise. Yes cops showed up at my door at midnight yesterday to warn me, and yes I was shocked. I thretned to egg somebodies parents house … Keep in mind these were threats made online and had no real merit. But anyway was I immature in making them? Yes I was. Did I take things with Amy to far? Yes I did. Amy and I used to be really good friends … And if you do not like that Bow wow wow and kiss my ass.
Fink continued to post his heartfelt feelings for Amy, while she simply waited for the police to arrest him.
True Crime Online Page 5
