by Lois Richer
“By all means then, clean to your heart’s content.” In the warmth of the greenhouse, Sara took off her jacket and got to work, trying to ignore the fact that less than six feet away Kyle scrubbed and polished. She wasn’t sure if she should talk to him or leave him be, but after a while, curiosity got the better of her. “Is there a lot of stuff you have to go through?”
“The usual accumulation, I guess.” He rubbed particularly hard on one spot where Sara could see no dirt.
“It must be wonderful to look at his things and enjoy memories of happy times,” she said.
“Not really.” Kyle’s voice sounded hard. “I look at his snowshoes and remember that I can’t do that with him anymore. I can’t do it by myself, either.”
“No, you can’t do that again. Yet. But you’re alive,” she said as gently as she could. “You can build new memories.”
“How?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted honestly. “You’ll have to ask God.”
“Not gonna happen.” He set down his cloth. “God and I don’t talk.”
There was a finality there that Sara couldn’t argue with.
“Here comes Rod,” Kyle said. He opened the door and greeted the boy. “I’ll leave the two of you to finish. I’m going to tinker on my old ATV and see if I can get it ready to be sold.”
“Thanks for your help.” A part of her heart pinched as she watched Kyle walk away, broad shoulders bowed. He wasn’t even going to try to use the machine. He was just going to let it go, let the past die as if it had never been.
Sara whispered a prayer. “Please help him.”
Then she lifted her head and smiled at Rod. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said. “There’s a lot of dirt that’s accumulated.”
Rod seemed to know what to do and they worked together for some time. Sara had no idea how long they’d been at it when Kyle yelled. When she saw him lying on the ground, her heart flew up into her throat. She dropped everything and ran.
“What’s wrong? Did you hurt yourself?” When he simply lay there without answering, she demanded, “Kyle, what are you doing?”
“Admiring the clouds.” He frowned at her. “What do you think I’m doing? I’m trying to figure out if I’ve broken something.” He grunted as he sat up. “I might have left some bones intact,” he muttered as he stretched. Rod held out a hand and Kyle grabbed it, using the boy’s strength to leverage himself upright. “Thanks,” he said.
Rod simply nodded then walked back inside the greenhouse.
“This thing is a heap of junk.” He kicked his foot against one tire and winced. “I need a cup of coffee.”
“We should go.” Sara turned but froze when Kyle grabbed her arm.
“What I meant was, would you like a cup of coffee, too?” His gaze met hers and held.
“I guess I could. If you’re sure you want me to.”
“I’m sure, Sara. I’d like it very much.” The sincerity in his voice convinced her he wanted company.
She checked her watch. She had time before she needed to start on dinner. “It’s a lovely day. We could have it outside.”
“If you want.” Kyle wore a strange look. “Would you mind making it? Some things never change and I’m still lousy with coffee.”
“So that’s why you invited me.” She laughed at his guilty look. “Just for that I should refuse.”
“Please don’t.” He stood there, waiting, then lifted his eyebrows. “Please? I’d owe you one really big favor.”
Like teaching her about the computer?
“Okay.” She glanced toward Rod, thinking to ask if he wanted something to drink, but his attention was totally on the system that ventilated the greenhouse. Men. With a huff, Sara went inside. A moment later she had to laugh. As if she knew anything about men or how they thought.
It did feel nice to be needed, especially by Kyle because he always seemed so determined to be independent. It wasn’t that she felt sorry for him. Kyle wasn’t the kind of man who generated sympathy. It was more that she wanted to hear him laugh again, see joy fill his face.
Sara gulped at the strange sensations filling her. They made her nervous so she concentrated on the process of making the coffee, but in doing so she found the kitchen terribly confining. How could Kyle even get around? Everything seemed to be in the wrong place, in the way. A peek out the window told her Kyle and Rod were engaged, so Sara made her decision.
While the aroma of coffee grounds filled the room, she pushed and shoved, using every mite of strength she could summon. Five minutes later, she stood back, pleased with her efforts.
“How’s that coffee— Oh.” Kyle stood stock-still, taking in her changes.
“You don’t like it,” she guessed, watching emotions flicker across his face. “I’m sorry. I’ll put it back, I promise.”
“Wait. I think I can actually get around now.” Kyle walked to the fridge, opened the door and shut it. He reached up to a cupboard and then pulled open the bottom drawer. “It works like a real kitchen should. It’s the way it was when my mom was alive.”
Sara flinched. Why hadn’t she left well enough alone?
“This room came alive with her personality. She baked for everyone, everything.” Kyle half smiled at Sara, lost in his memories. “After she died, Dad and I used it more as an office. He brought that armoire down here so he could do books for the business, but it should go back upstairs. It’s too big for here.”
Loath to break into his reminiscences, Sara waited several moments. He finally looked at her as if suddenly remembering where he was.
“The sun’s gone, so we’ll come in for coffee. Can you fill two of those yellow mugs? There’s soda in the fridge for Rod. I’ll call him.”
Sara set his filled mug and Rod’s soda on the table. When Rod and Kyle were seated, Sara sat, too, so Kyle wouldn’t guess her mug was filled with water. Though she loved the scent of it brewing and enjoyed making it for others, she just didn’t enjoy the taste.
“This is great coffee.” Kyle savored a mouthful as he glanced around the room. “You know, maybe I should hire you to help me smarten the rest of the house up. That might help it sell faster.”
Sell?
The bottom dropped out of her world. Sara set down her yellow cup and leaned back.
“You’re selling your home?” she asked, trying to hide her surprise and shock.
“Yes, of course. I can’t live in Churchill anymore,” Kyle said in a matter-of-fact tone. “I’ll clean up the place and hope to get a good dollar. Then I’ll move.”
Sara stared at her hands, devastated. She’d begun to think of Kyle as a friend, a very good friend. She’d even let herself daydream that maybe, perhaps, one day he could become more than that. Of course that was only a dream; it would never happen. But she had thought that with time she could help him break free of his bitterness toward God. Now he was saying they wouldn’t have that time together.
Sara didn’t want to examine the reasons why she found that depressing. She only knew she had to try to stop Kyle from leaving, not for herself but because she cared about him, and running away from his home, where his memories were etched into the Canadian north like long-ago carvings in the rock, wouldn’t heal his hurting heart. Kyle had lived, loved, laughed and done everything here and she wanted him to do it again.
She wanted the very best for him. That was more important than any silly romantic daydreams. How could leaving be the best for him? And how could she deal with the sense of loss that even now enveloped her?
As Sara studied the man she’d come to respect and admire, her head and her heart swirled with questions about Kyle Loness. None of which she had answers to.
Chapter Six
Kyle hadn’t expected the call for help to come so soon.
“Whatever Sara did, the computer is totally whacked.” Rod’s voice gave little away.
“What’s on the screen?” Kyle asked hopefully.
“It’s black. Don’t tell her I said
this,” Rod mumbled, “but Sara is about as good with a computer as I am with pie dough. She was checking out a website, last thing I knew. A few minutes later she yelled. By the time I got there her computer was dead.”
“You don’t know what she was doing?” Kyle clung to a fragment of hope that he wouldn’t have to go out again today. His leg was aching and he’d hoped to relax.
“I haven’t got a clue. I can usually figure out computer stuff but this time I’m stuck. Whatever she did, it shut down the system.” Rod didn’t sound hopeful.
“Are you in the computer room now?”
“Yes.” Rod’s flat tone held no hope.
“Let’s try something.” Kyle led him through several steps. Nothing worked. Finally he agreed to go to Lives.
“Please don’t tell Sara I called you,” Rod urged. “She really wants to get on the internet. But I’m afraid she’ll try again on another computer and maybe knock out the entire network if you don’t help me figure out what’s wrong.”
“I’ll see if Teddy can drive me over.” Kyle was curious about what was behind Sara’s need to understand computers and get online. “Do you know why she’s so eager to use the internet?”
“She’s trying to find out about her family.” A pause, then, “She’s coming. I have to go.” Rod hung up before Kyle could say any more.
He called Teddy, who reluctantly agreed to a second visit to Lives. While he waited for his ride, Kyle mused on what he’d learned.
Sara was a foster child. Now she was trying to find her family. That made sense if she’d been removed from her home as a young child. It might also explain why she was so curious about his past. Kyle remembered her appreciation of his home. Was that why she’d looked so devastated when he’d told her he was selling this place?
Because she didn’t have a home of her own?
He recalled another of his father’s favorite quotations, this time from Robert Frost. “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, They have to take you in.” Though he’d moved around as a kid, Kyle had always had a home.
Apparently Sara had not enjoyed the same security.
Hearing the low growl of Teddy’s engine outside, Kyle tugged on his coat and walked out of the house. Sometime yesterday, Hector had managed to build a ramp, making it much easier to leave the house. Kyle made a mental note to buy the man dinner as thanks as he climbed inside the truck.
“What’s the emergency?” Teddy demanded.
“Sara killed one of the computers.”
“Already?” Teddy’s eyes widened.
“Yes, but you can’t say anything,” Kyle insisted. “I’m going to pretend we stopped by to make sure everything’s okay with them. You good with that?”
Teddy shrugged.
“Apparently Sara is upset. She blames herself for the crash.”
“Is Laurel going to be there?” Teddy asked in a low tone.
“I imagine so.” Kyle studied his friend. “Is that a problem?”
“Not as long as I don’t run into her.” Teddy grimaced. “I know what you’re going to say.”
Kyle inclined his head to one side, curious to see if Teddy knew him as well as he thought.
“You’ll say let it go. I’m trying.” Teddy tossed him a sideways glance. “May I suggest you do the same?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kyle stared out the window. “I’m not the one who’s feuding with the woman who runs Lives.”
“To clarify, I’m not exactly feuding with Laurel Quinn, but that isn’t what I meant.” Teddy was silent until they turned into the driveway of Lives. “I meant that chip on your shoulder.”
“You’re seeing chips where there aren’t any.” Kyle grasped the door handle but Teddy’s grip made him pause.
“You’re going to tell me you’re not mad at God or at that woman who dumped you?” Teddy nodded when Kyle didn’t respond. “That’s what I’m talking about. You have to let it go.”
“You expect me to accept that God chose to kill my father two weeks before I was to come home?” Kyle barked a harsh laugh. “I should pretend that’s okay with me?”
“You’re making it sound like God reached out and struck him dead,” Teddy argued. “Your dad had a heart attack, Kyle.”
“Which God could have prevented. At least until I got home. But He didn’t.” Kyle exhaled.
“It was hard for me to accept your father’s death, too,” Teddy said. “But ultimately I am not in charge of the world. God is. As His child, I accept that He knows what He’s doing.”
“That’s a cop-out.” Kyle shoved the door open and awkwardly climbed out.
“Is it?” Teddy walked with him to the door. “I don’t understand astrophysics or space sciences. Does that mean it’s a cop-out if I accept it when they tell me there is no life on the moon?”
“It’s not the same.”
“Sure it is.” Teddy’s lips lifted. “I’m telling you, buddy, if you don’t knock that chip off your shoulder, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.”
“Which is?” Kyle asked, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
“Sara.” Teddy’s smirk said it all.
The door opened before Kyle could respond.
“Hi, Laurel,” he said.
“Wow!” Laurel grinned at him. “Your sense of smell must be incredible.” She shot a glare at Teddy but stood back to allow them both to enter.
“My sense of smell?” As soon as he said it, Kyle knew what she was talking about. The aroma of freshly made popcorn filled the room, combined with—caramel?
“Sara’s just made some special popcorn for our movie night. You’re welcome to join us. I’m sure the movie will be to your taste—action adventure with lots of car chases. The guys chose it.”
“Sounds great.” Kyle walked to the door of the family room and smiled at the group of boys. Then he turned back to Laurel. “Actually we just came to check if the computers are working properly. Sometimes there are hiccups with new systems.”
“That’s very kind of you. Boys, this is the man who kindly donated those new computers for you to use.” She waited until the yells of “thanks, man” ended. “Do we have an issue with the computers?” she asked, glancing around the room.
Kyle waited but no one said anything, including Rod, who seemed intent on staring at the floor. A moment later, Sara stepped forward, wearing a red-checked apron and holding a wooden spoon in one hand.
“I broke one,” she admitted with a red face.
“Good thing we stopped by, then,” Kyle said with a warning glance at Teddy. “I’ll go check it out.”
“Need any help?” Laurel asked.
“Uh—” He struggled with an appropriate way to refuse Laurel’s offer.
“I wasn’t talking about me.” She laughed self-deprecatingly. “I thought maybe Rod could help you. He seems to be the most computer literate among us.”
Rod didn’t say anything. But he rose to lead the way toward the computer room. Laurel, after a sideways glance at Teddy, flopped down in a chair in the family room.
“I’ll stay here. I’m partial to Sara’s special popcorn.” Teddy flopped down in the chair Rod had just vacated. “Actually I’m partial to anything Sara makes.”
The boys hooted with laughter as Sara’s cheeks pinked even more.
“Save me some,” Kyle said before he left.
Rod was waiting for him in the computer room. “It’s this one,” he said, taking the chair in the next station.
Kyle tested the connection, the switch and several other possibilities before typing in commands. Nothing happened. “Huh. That’s weird.”
“It’s ruined, isn’t it?” Sara stood behind them, her hands twisting together.
“No, Sara, I’m sure it’s not.” Kyle was touched by the concern in her eyes.
“Then what’s wrong with it?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I knew I shouldn’t have used it. Rod thought I’d be fine, but I have no idea
what I’m doing. I’ve ruined your lovely gift and now the boys will suffer.” Tears glittered in her lashes.
“Sara.” Kyle waited until she looked directly at him. “It’s not broken. Computers get glitches. Sometimes they refuse to do something. Stop worrying. We’ll figure it out.”
“Okay.” A flicker of relief lightened her gray eyes.
“Now, can you tell me what you were doing?” he asked. “Do you remember?”
“I was looking at—do you call it a page?” She waited for his nod. “Rod said if something was underlined it meant there was more information. So I clicked on a word. A bunch of things started flashing on the screen. I couldn’t stop them no matter how often I clicked on the back arrow.” She turned to Rod. “I remembered you told me that’s how I should get back to where I was. It didn’t work. I touched a key and everything went black.”
Rod nodded. His gaze met Kyle’s.
“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Kyle asked.
“A virus. But how did it get around the protection?” Rod frowned.
“What’s a virus?” Sara asked.
Rod explained while Kyle worked. But no matter what he tried the computer did not respond.
“Maybe this machine’s a dud,” Rod mused.
“Let’s open it up.” With Rod’s help, Kyle removed the back. He was too conscious of Sara watching every move, her soft lemon scent filling his nostrils. Maybe that was why he missed the most obvious solution.
“Look.” Rod pointed to the loose cord connection.
“I don’t understand how that happened. Or why it suddenly became an issue.” Kyle reset the component and pressed the power button. The computer immediately hummed to life. Once the normal screen was visible, Kyle ran a diagnostics test. Everything seemed to be fine. “Now you try using the internet,” he said to Sara. He rose from his seat.
Sara backed away. “I’ll ruin it,” she said.
“It wasn’t anything you did. It was a loose connection. That’s fixed now.” He smiled at her. “Go ahead and try it.”
“Do you mind if I leave?” Rod asked. “I want to see the movie.”
“Yes, go, Rod. Please. You’ve spent enough time on me.” Sara grimaced.
