by Ellen Hutton
“So, you guys just had sex?” Stanley asked.
“Heat of the moment,” he said. “You know how that goes.”
“Dude, it’s never good to sleep with your neighbors” he advised. “It’s like dating a co-worker. When shit goes wrong, you still have to see them every day.”
“Aren’t you the one who told me to stop chasing all these girls and find someone I could have a meaningful relationship with?” Conner asked. “I mean if I was to find someone, it would have to be this girl.”
“Does she want to have a relationship with you?” Stanley asked.
“Of course, she does,” he replied. “She’s a good girl, man. She doesn’t sleep around for sex’s sake. She wants more.”
“And you think you can give her what she wants?” Stanley asked. “I thought you were the one who wasn’t in for anything long-term.”
Once again, the thought crossed his mind. He wanted her, but he knew it wasn’t something he wanted long-term. He always felt that relationships were tiring and required too much, and he didn’t relish the idea of settling for one woman all his life. If she wanted that, he couldn’t give it to her, but he didn’t want to not have her. It was like an unsolvable riddle; he wanted her but he didn’t want her if she wanted him to commit in that way.
“I think we could arrange something,” He said. “I mean we’re good together and I’m thinking of getting someone steady until the day this whole thing with the management blows over.”
“I bet that’s exactly what she wants,” Stanley teased. “Women love to be placeholders.”
Conner didn’t like the sound of it, but he didn’t know what else to say. He couldn’t promise Taylor anything and he didn’t want to do it and then break his promise to her.
“Have you ever felt this way about anyone before?” Stanley asked.
Conner thought about his past, about the woman who broke him, and he tried to shy away from the painful memory. He didn’t think he had ever felt this way about anyone. In fact, he had loved Yolanda, but he had never felt loved by her. She was the one who persuaded him to do law because it would look good for her to have a lawyer as her husband. When he began loving it and spending too much time away from her, she tried to sabotage his career. He had been broken when he learned of her betrayal.
“I don’t think so,” he replied. “I don’t think it’s a big deal really, we can have fun.”
“Oh, well just be careful not to mess around with her and break her heart,” Stanley warned.
“I won’t, and I don’t think it’s that serious,” he responded. “You know me.”
Stanley walked away, leaving Conner to think about what was really happening. As he trained, he couldn’t take his mind off Taylor. Her body, her laugh and the way she tried to make him seem like a normal person. While people had avoided him at the potluck, she had stuck by him and refused to let him feel like an outsider in his own community. She was widely loved by everyone and he felt a bit jealous, but he couldn’t deny that she was lovable and that was something he couldn’t get used to. Her charm disarmed him, and he didn’t know how to react. He would have to figure things out before anything happened. If she wanted more, he would end things but if she didn’t, then they could develop an arrangement to suit them both.
Chapter 9
Taylor stepped out of her car and walked towards her house feeling drained. The day had been long and hard, and it hadn’t helped that she was sore from her night with Conner. Throughout the day, she had thought of him and the thoughts had led her right back to their night of passion. When she awoke in the morning and found him in her kitchen, she had been surprised. She had expected him to be gone by then.
“Taylor!”
She spun around and looked over to where Paige stood with her hands on her hips.
“Hey,” she said as she walked over to where the woman stood at the hedge that separated their homes.
“Where have you been?” Paige probed.
“I had to work late,” she replied. “Did I miss something?”
“I had a date scheduled for you that you almost totally missed,” Paige said.
“Really?” Taylor retorted.
“Last night, I told you I’d set you up with one of my husband’s business partners.” She answered back. “How could you forget?”
“Oh yes,” Taylor replied, suddenly remembering what had happened.
At the potluck, Paige had told her to go on a date with the man because he was wildly successful and handsome. She remembered thinking at the moment that Paige was doing it to keep her away from Conner. She had said yes to stop Paige from pestering her but after what happened last night, she had totally forgotten about the date.
“Oh, I forgot,” she said.
“He’s over by our house,” Paige said. “You should still go out with him.”
Taylor pondered it for a moment. There was nothing between her and Conner and he had left no promises of anything more than the night they had. If she knew him and his past, she couldn’t expect anything from him. The thought suddenly made her sad. She wanted to be able to believe in Conner and the fact that she couldn’t do it made her wonder if she had made a mistake.
“I guess we could go out,” she said.
“Oh, perfect.” Paige was joyous. “You need an hour to get ready?”
“Yeah, an hour is good,” she replied, trying not to think about how tired she was.
She went to her house and decided to shower. There was no excitement in her movement and she knew it was the tedium of dating that she didn’t like. Taylor had such a bad first experience with the man her parents had tried to set her up with that now she didn’t know if she wanted to be set up at all. Then again, her mind also wandered to Conner. He had been so patient and so caring with her last night. She could never have imagined that a man like him could be so sweet. She smiled but then she immediately stopped. She didn’t need to be pining over a man who probably only saw her as a booty call.
She got ready, and right on the hour, her doorbell rang. She went to the door and was mildly surprised to see the handsome man standing on the other side. He was tall, thin and had a light blonde mustache that contrasted with his dark blue eyes.
“Taylor,” he said with a smile, “I’m Noel.”
“Hi” she replied extending her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it lightly. “You are as beautiful as Paige said. You’ll make a nice wife.”
Taylor cringed at the way he said it, but she didn’t allow him to sense her displeasure. Why was it that the thought of being married to him made her feel so uncomfortable? Once again, thoughts of Conner came to her mind and she did her best to push them away. She needed to remain focused. Just because he made her feel something special didn’t mean it was actually special.
“So, where are we going?” she asked as she stepped outside.
“I’ve booked us a table at one of the best restaurants in town,” he said.
She watched him as he leered at her in the dress she had chosen for the date.
“That will do,” he said dismissively.
Once again Taylor fought the urge to cringe.
“Let’s go,” she said.
As they walked towards the driveway and approached his car, which she had missed while driving in, she saw Conner’s car pull into the driveway. She stopped when he stepped out of the car and gave her a curious look. He walked over to them and she wondered what was on his mind.
“I thought we were going to have dinner tonight,” he said when he approached them.
“I had promised Paige a date last night at the potluck,” she answered with a smile. He didn’t smile back but she saw something close to anger flash across his face.
“I see,” he replied. “Well, I hope you have fun.”
Without another word, he walked off and she suddenly felt as if she had done something wrong. She searched her mind to find if she had made an
y promises or done anything to lead him on but she couldn’t think of anything. His anger didn’t make sense, but she decided that she would let it go. She would find out what could have changed between them in such a short time.
“Let’s go,” Noel said from the car.
She looked up and noticed he was already seated at the steering wheel waiting for her. Everything about this sent her bad signals but she wasn’t one to break promises. The drive to the restaurant was very short and when she arrived, she noticed that she was very much underdressed. Noel seemed to notice this as well, but he said nothing about it. Soon, they were seated and waiting to make an order.
“I think I should get the shrimp pasta,” she suggested. “What do you recommend?”
“Don’t you think you’d rather get a salad?” he asked. “I know you look thin and fit now but you can never be too careful”
Tylor wanted to laugh at his audacity but then held it in. She didn’t know he was an expert on body weight.
“So, I’ll get the shrimp pasta,” she said without asking him what he thought.
He gave her a resigned sigh and when the waiter arrived, he ordered for them both.
“So, a doctor?” he said. “Impressive.”
“I’m a surgeon,” she replied, it wasn’t in her nature to boast, but she knew that he was only listing her accomplishment to make himself feel better.
“Yes, a neurosurgeon,” he replied dismissively. “You would be impressive to many people.”
“Except you,” she thought to herself. It seemed he was crossing off a checklist of the traits she had that he could feel good about.
“And you’re, what do you do again?” she asked.
“I’m a lawyer,” he replied. “I thought you knew that.”
It seemed that her lack of knowledge about his profession was hard for him to believe. She smiled, knowing that it would be a good way to get at him during the date if he became too overbearing. She would hit him where it hurts; his pride.
“I must have forgotten,” she replied.
He gave her a skeptical look and she took a sip of water to hide her smile.
As the night went on, Taylor began to dislike the man even more. He was completely offensive and the way he tried to compare her sex and her achievement was backward. She was offended even further when he tried to compliment her. At the end of the trying dinner, she did her best not to tell him what a horrible date he had been.
“It was a great night,” he said as they drove home. “You’re a good woman.”
“Thanks,” she replied absentmindedly.
They drove the rest of the way in silence. As he pulled up to her house, she realized she had never felt this happy to be home. He stopped the car and opened his door. For a moment she wondered if he would be coming around to open hers. Instead, he stood on the curb waiting for her to join him. Smothering her irritation, she stepped out of the car and together, they walked to her door.
“Thanks,” she said, turning to open her door, “thanks for dinner.”
“You’re not going to invite me in?” he asked
She looked at him incredulously. How was it that he thought their date had been a success?
“No,” she replied, “you are the worst person I’ve ever had the misfortune of sharing my evening with.”
“You’re being unkind for no reason,” he replied. “I know you like me and you could do well with a guy like me in your life.”
Taylor scoffed.
“You are the best thing to you and only you” she replied. “Never come here again.”
“If I had known you’d be such an uptight bitch, I wouldn’t have spent my money on you,” he said, turning to walk away.
Taylor was about to say something, but she held it in. She didn’t need to become angry now and also didn’t need this man reducing her to her basest instincts.
“You wretch!” she said under her breath.
She opened her door and slammed it in his face and leaned on it as she calmed herself. Her anger was so palpable she could taste it. When she finally calmed down, she decided she needed to talk to someone about this. Paige would have gone to bed by then and her parents would be out. Looking through her window, she saw that the lights were on at Conner’s place. Grabbing her jacket, she walked over to his house and rang the doorbell. As the door opened she began her rant.
“You wouldn’t believe…,” she began.
Her words stopped when she looked up at a woman clad in her underwear and a large shirt looking down at her. The woman was tall and beautiful and, to her surprise, Taylor forgot what she was going to say.
“Oh,” she said when her thoughts returned to normal, “is Conner here?”
“Oh, yes,” she said excitedly, “Conner!”
Taylor didn’t enter. She just stood and waited for Conner at the door as the woman walked away. She didn’t understand the sudden feeling of hurt and disappointment that filled her. Conner came to the door laughing and drinking from a pitcher. She looked up at him and she knew then that she had made the right decision to not put her hope in him.
“Hey beauty,” he said, “how was your date?”
“It was good,” she lied. “I didn’t know you were having company.”
“Well, I guess we don’t know much about each other, do we?” he replied.
“Why are you behaving like this?” she asked. “This isn’t you, is it?”
“It’s who I am,” he replied. “I thought you knew that, at least.”
“I don’t know what I thought,” she replied, letting out a resigned breath. “I wasn’t thinking.”
For a moment, they stood there looking at each other as she wondered why she had imagined that she could have anything with a man who never committed to anyone or anything. She had been warned over and over again, and she knew it was her insistence on looking at the good side of people that put her in this position. She hadn’t expected much from him, she just hadn’t expected this.
“I have to go,” she said, a sadness she couldn’t explain filling her.
“Yeah, you should go,” he replied.
She walked away from the only man who had ever seen her at her most vulnerable and she wanted him to say something, anything to reaffirm that he was the man she thought he could be. When he didn’t, she went home and cried.
Chapter 10
Conner looked across the table at Patricia. She was the woman Stanley had tried to set him up with. She was a beautiful brunette with green eyes and a nice tan. Her teeth were pearly white, and her body was amazing. However, he couldn’t understand why he didn’t feel attracted to her.
“So, I was in the middle of my presentation to the board of directors when they stopped me and gave me a promotion.”
He perked up, trying to stay engaged as she told another story about herself. He had never met a woman who could talk about herself as much as this woman did. After seeing Taylor with that man, he had lost something. He knew it didn’t make sense and he still couldn’t understand why he was behaving so irrationally.
“I just love the way you listen to me,” she said. “You’re such a caring man. I know you’re good, that’s what Stanley told me.”
He nodded and his mind yet again went to Taylor. Why hadn’t she waited for him? Did she think he wasn’t good enough for her or was it that she didn’t want him? She had wanted him enough to have sex with him, yet she didn’t want him for anything else. He realized he was being unfair as thoughts of his plan for them reminded him that he hadn’t planned to have anything special with her. His mind was doing all sorts of things and the only thing he knew was that he didn’t want to be here with this woman.
“So, what about you?” he heard Patricia ask.
“Oh, what now?” he asked not bothering to conceal that he wasn’t listening.
The look on her face told him that she wasn’t pleased that he hadn’t been listening, but she wouldn’t give him any trouble for it. He was used to women like her and he wa
s once again reminded of the reason he found Taylor so attractive. She was beautiful in every possible way and usually called him out where no-one else did.
“What was your childhood like?” she asked.
He didn’t know how to answer her question. His family and childhood were touchy topics even now and he wasn’t excited to talk about them.
“It was fine” he replied. “Nothing special.”
“Are you still close with your family?” she asked.
“My mother died when I was a child,” he said. “I was raised by my abusive father and I had no siblings. So no, I don’t keep in contact with anyone from my childhood really.”
The way her eyebrows went up told him that she hadn’t been expecting that.
“Oh, you poor thing,” she said, reaching out to touch his hand.
He pulled it away and shook his head. He wasn’t sentimental, and he also didn’t like to be pitied by anyone. He had made it through and he was a better man for whatever had happened to him back then.
“I’m no poor thing,” he replied. “I made it out and now I’m a better man for it.”
“Well it couldn’t have been easy,” she replied. “I couldn’t imagine not growing up with my mother.”
“Of course, you couldn’t,” he said. “That’s the perks of growing up with a mother.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied, “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“No, I am…” he said, “I’m not really in a good mood.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked. ”You don’t want to talk about it?”
Her face fell but he didn’t want to talk about it. She was nice and he would have jumped at any opportunity to make her happy a week ago, but now, he couldn’t get the memory of Taylor out of his mind.
“Well, I think we should call this a night,” she said.
He looked at the time and knew that it was his lack of interest that made her want to end their date two hours earlier than he had planned.
“Yes, I think maybe we can catch up some other time,” he said.
“Yes, I think so” she replied perking up.
He drove home in a haze but as he parked, he noticed Taylor in the driveway. She was carrying several bags. Instinctively, he ran over to her and took a few bags from her hand. She flashed him a thankful smile and he smiled back. She looked great today and he was mentally cursing himself for being stupid and letting her way away from him.
