She nodded.
He shrugged, then grinned. “I can live with that.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” he said. “For now.”
Hannah knew she couldn’t put off making the call to her doctor’s office any longer. She’d been dreading the lecture she was bound to get when she told them that she was canceling her appointment yet again. Since it wasn’t a call she wanted anyone to overhear, she’d waited until they made this trip to the mainland, then found an excuse to run a few errands of her own while Luke, Grandma Jenny and the kids stocked up on supplies like toilet paper at the discount store.
She found a bench in a small park across the street from the restaurant where they’d agreed to meet for lunch and took her cell phone from her purse. Drawing in a deep breath, she found the doctor’s number and hit speed dial.
“Good morning, Oncology Associates,” Beth McBride said cheerily.
Beth was the perfect receptionist for an office that dealt too often with death. Compassionate and friendly, she managed to make every patient feel better, no matter how dire their circumstances were. At first Hannah had been put off by all that unrelenting good cheer, but she’d finally seen the sincerity behind it and appreciated the lift to her spirits.
“Hi, Beth, it’s Hannah Matthews.”
“Hannah, how are you?” Beth asked. “You back from Florida?”
“Actually, no. I’m not going to be back for a while yet, so I need to change my appointment again.”
“Oh, Hannah, are you sure about that? Dr. Blake is going to want to talk to you. Hold on a sec.”
“Beth, no,” she protested, but it was too late. She was already on hold.
Less than a minute later, Anthony Blake was on the line. “Hannah, I understand you’re postponing your appointment again.”
“It can’t be helped. I’m still in Florida dealing with some family issues.”
“Issues that are more important than your health?” he asked. “Or are you hiding out down there because you’re afraid of what these tests might turn up?”
She sighed heavily at the question. Was that what she was doing, hiding out because she was scared? More than likely. There was certainly no question that she was terrified about the possibility of a recurrence. “Maybe,” she admitted finally.
“There’s an excellent chance everything will come back clear,” he told her. “Then you’ll have worried all these extra weeks for nothing.”
“Or I will have had a few weeks of tranquility before another diagnosis of cancer hits,” she countered.
“Okay, I’ll make a deal with you,” he said. “And it’s my final offer.”
“What deal?”
“You reschedule today for the end of next week here, or I will find someplace there for you to have the screening done and the results sent to me. Take it or leave it.”
She grinned at his tough-guy attitude. Anthony Blake was a sweetheart who somehow always found time to listen, no matter how jam-packed his waiting room was. “What if I leave it?”
“Then I’ll call in the big guns. I’ll send your friend Sue down there after you.”
She laughed at the threat. “You’ve already spoken to her, haven’t you?”
“Just yesterday. She called to find out if you’d rescheduled. Beth spoke to her and then I called her back. We’re rallying the troops, Hannah. You can’t hide from all of us.”
It should have made her feel better to know how much they all cared, but instead she just felt pressured. The next thing she knew they were going to draw Kelsey and Grandma Jenny into their plot to make her face facts. That was the last thing she needed.
“I’ll be back next week,” she promised.
“No excuses, okay?”
“No excuses.”
But the second she disconnected the call, she realized that next week the inn was reopening. There was no way she intended to miss that. The screening could wait a few more days, just until she was absolutely sure that Grandma Jenny and Kelsey had everything under control. A few days couldn’t possibly make any difference, she told herself.
She looked up when Nate shouted her name. He was already running across the grass in her direction, followed at a more sedate pace by Gracie. The sight of Luke with Grandma Jenny’s arm tucked through his as they made their way toward the bench made her smile, and just for an instant she forgot all about her cancer follow-up.
Beside her now, Nate ripped open the bag he was carrying and started pulling out plastic action figures. “How cool are these?” he asked. “Dad says we can play with them on the beach later. You wanna come?”
“Sure,” Hannah said, ruffling his hair. “What did you buy, Gracie?”
Shyly she opened her bag and pulled out a collection of barrettes and hair ribbons in every color of the rainbow. “Grandma Jenny said she’d help me fix my hair in French braids. She said she used to do it for you when you were my age.”
Hannah smiled at the memory. “She did, at least until I got tired of it one day and cut my hair as short as a boy’s.”
Gracie looked horrified. “You didn’t!”
“Oh, yes, I did,” Hannah assured her. “It was pretty awful.”
“Did Grandma Jenny yell at you? Were you grounded forever?”
“No, she and my mom agreed that looking really, really bad until it grew out was punishment enough. It was the last time in my life that my hair was short.”
Gracie gave her an odd look. “But it’s short now,” she said.
And then Hannah remembered. This time it hadn’t been a matter of style or even impulse. Her hair was short because it still hadn’t completely grown out after she’d lost it during chemo. Suddenly it was all she could do not to cry.
“Hannah, did I say something wrong?” Gracie asked worriedly.
“No, of course not, sweetie. Sometimes I just forget.”
“How can you forget that your hair’s short?”
There was no good answer to that. She could hardly explain to a ten-year-old that she barely spent five seconds in front of a mirror these days because she couldn’t bear to see the ravages left behind by her treatments. When she had caught a glimpse of herself recently, she had noticed that her color had improved, that her hair was growing back with some unexpected curl to it and that her eyes were clear and bright. Maybe one of these days, she would even recognize herself again.
16
“Any idea where my children are?” Luke asked Grandma Jenny as he snatched a freshly baked cookie from the tray she’d just removed from the oven.
“I think they walked into town with Hannah. Didn’t they invite you to go along?”
He tried to hide his reaction, but apparently she caught his disappointment.
“They didn’t, did they? I’m sorry, Luke. I thought things were better.”
“Most of the time they are,” he told her, grabbing a carton of milk from the refrigerator and pouring himself a glass. He gestured to her. “You want some?”
“Sure,” she said. “I’ll join you. I could use a break.”
A minute later they were sitting at the kitchen table. Grandma Jenny was watching him expectantly. Finally she gave him an impatient look. “Are you going to ask for my advice or not?”
He chuckled. “I figured you’d offer it when you were ready.”
“I don’t butt in where I’m not wanted,” she said piously, then shrugged. “Okay, that’s a fib, but it is nice to be asked for an opinion now and again.”
“What do you think I should do?” he inquired dutifully.
“I think you should decide what you’re going to do with the rest of your life and get busy doing it. Children don’t respond well to uncertainty. You keep telling Gracie and Nate that you intend to remain an important part of their lives, but you haven’t told them how. I’m not sure you even know yourself.”
“I don’t,” he conceded.
“Do you even know where you intend to settle down?”
&n
bsp; He shook his head.
“Or when you’re going to go back to practicing medicine?”
Luke winced at all the relevant questions he was unable to answer. “Not really,” he admitted.
She shook her head. “Well then, I’d say it’s time you came up with a plan. Drifting is all well and good for some stray branch floating along with the tide, but it’s no way to live your life.”
He smiled despite her serious tone. “An apt analogy,” he told her. “I am drifting, but I don’t seem capable of making a decision.”
“Do you suppose that’s because you’re finding it hard to live with the consequences of the last big decision you made—the one to go to Iraq?”
He stared at her, stunned that she’d pegged it exactly right. He’d been so sure that reenlisting in the army had been the right thing to do, and just look how it had turned out. Maybe he was scared to make another decision and risk having it turn out as badly. Not that he regretted going to Iraq. What he regretted was the impact that decision had had on the rest of his life. He’d lost his family and very nearly lost his leg.
Grandma Jenny regarded him with a smug expression. “Nailed it, didn’t I?”
“On the head,” he said.
“Well, the only way I know to get over fear is to face it. Make a list if you need to. That always works for me. Write down all the decisions you have to make, then pick one and make it. Start small, if you need to.”
“All the decisions that matter are huge,” he said.
“Tell me,” she commanded, as if she hadn’t gone over them herself only moments before.
“Okay, my medical practice, for starters,” he said.
She gave him a wry look. “Not where I would have started,” she chided. “Besides, I thought you’d made that decision. You said you wouldn’t work with that partner of yours ever again. Can’t say that I blame you for that, by the way. I don’t know much about how things like that work, but can’t he just buy you out?”
Luke grinned at the simplicity of her suggestion. Of course, it could be that easy. He didn’t have to wrangle with Brad. In fact, he’d never planned to handle the details himself. He just needed to make the call to an attorney, tell him what compensation he wanted to give up his share of the practice and get the ball rolling. It would be the first step toward getting his life back into focus. “You’re pretty smart. You know that, don’t you?”
“I have my moments. What’s next?” she asked eagerly.
“Going back to Atlanta or not, I suppose.”
“Your kids are there,” she said at once.
“That’s the plus,” he said. “Maybe the only one.”
She regarded him quizzically. “You weren’t happy there? You lived there for how long? Twenty years?”
“Something like that.”
“Why didn’t you do something about it, then?”
He thought for a long time before he replied. “I’m not entirely sure,” he admitted eventually. “It’s all twisted up with my marriage, though. Somehow it was all about striving for more—a bigger house, a fancier car, better private schools for the kids—all to keep my wife happy. Lisa had a right to expect all that and I wanted to give it to her, but none of it mattered to me.”
“None of that has anything to do with the city,” she said.
“In a way, it did. Lisa wanted to live in Atlanta because it actually has ‘society,’ and that’s in quotes. If there was an important charity function, she wanted to be on the board, not to make a difference, but to make the contacts. I suppose that’s one reason she and Brad are so well suited. He’s very big into networking, too.”
“And you’re not?”
“I just wanted to practice medicine.”
“I imagine there are plenty of people in Atlanta in need of a doctor whose focus is on his patients.” She gave him a sly look. “Truth is, though, we could use a doctor right here in Seaview. Doc Langley is getting up in years. I hear he’s been looking for someone to take over his clinic. Of course, with your specialty, you’d have more to do over on the mainland. You have options, Luke. You just have to decide which one is most appealing.”
“I can’t stay here,” he said, but even as he uttered the words he wondered why not. He felt at peace in Seaview in a way he never had in Atlanta. Since he’d come back, he’d assumed it was simply because this was an escape from the real world where all the tough decisions awaited him, but maybe it was more than that. Maybe Seaview had a hold on his soul he’d never recognized before.
As for practicing medicine in Seaview, it would require some changes, but he’d always enjoyed the interaction with patients far more than the intricate and delicate surgeries he’d performed. He’d been adept at them, and as a result, his professors and Lisa had pressured him to work toward an orthopedic surgery specialty. The professors had admired his skill. Lisa had been more attracted to the financial rewards. Somehow along the way, he’d lost his own enjoyment of keeping people healthy or helping them through an illness.
Still, he couldn’t stay here without figuring out what that would mean for Gracie and Nate. Today had proved once more that they hadn’t totally forgiven him. They’d gone off with Hannah without even suggesting that he come along.
Grandma Jenny reached over and patted his hand. “It will work out, Luke. The answer will come to you. If not today, then tomorrow.” She stood up. “Now, I’m thinking that I would like some frozen custard. How would you feel about escorting an old lady to Lila’s?”
“Now? I should finish up the last little bit of painting,” he said.
“That can wait,” she declared decisively. “Come on. Let’s go splurge and forget all our worries.”
“You have worries?”
“At my age, it’s hard not to.”
“You want to talk about them? You’ve been listening to me. I owe you.”
“Another day. Now the only thing I want from you is a trip to Lila’s.”
“Then it would be my pleasure,” he told her. “Want me to drive?”
“It’s just a few blocks,” she said. “If I can’t walk that far, I shouldn’t be eating frozen custard.”
“Okay, then, let’s go.”
Outside, as if to prove her energy was high, she set off at a brisk pace. It took only ten minutes to arrive at Lila’s, which had evolved from the small frozen custard stand along the beach it had once been, to an actual old-fashioned ice cream parlor with a soda fountain and Formica-topped tables, trimmed with chrome. From what Luke could see through the huge plate-glass window, the place was packed. He noted the helium-filled balloons floating around the room.
“Looks as if there’s a party going on,” he commented. “Maybe we should go for ice cream instead.”
“Nonsense. If there’s a party, it’s bound to be for someone we know. Let’s go in.”
Luke shrugged and opened the door for her. A minute later, as he stepped inside, a shout went up. “Surprise!”
He blinked and stared around the room just in time to see Nate and Gracie bolting in his direction.
“Are you surprised, Daddy?” Nate asked.
Gracie was bouncing up and down, a grin splitting her face. “Are you, Daddy? Are you really surprised?”
He stared at them blankly. “This is for me?”
“It’s your birthday,” Gracie reminded him. “Did you forget?”
Nate stared at him incredulously. “How could you forget your own birthday? It’s when you get presents.”
Luke finally glanced up and spotted the banner over the soda fountain. It had been painted in bold colors by unsteady young hands: Happy birthday, Daddy! Beneath it on the counter was a pile of presents.
He turned to Grandma Jenny. “You were in on this,” he said.
She beamed at him. “Of course. They couldn’t have done it without me to keep you occupied. I felt real bad for you when I saw how disappointed you were at being left behind this afternoon. I figured this would make up for it, though.�
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“Indeed it does.” He grinned at Nate and Gracie, who were still bouncing with excitement.
Gracie grabbed his hand. “Come see your cake,” she said. “Hannah baked it.”
He searched the room until he spotted Hannah sitting on a stool at the counter. “I had no idea you could bake.”
“Wait until you taste it before you decide if I can,” she said dryly.
Only then did Luke realize that he knew all the people crowded into Lila’s. Jack was there, as well as the still-pregnant Lesley Ann and her family. So were Kelsey and Jeff and Doc Langley, whose presence was highly suspicious, considering the conversation he’d had earlier with Grandma Jenny. There were old neighbors of his family’s, a handful of classmates from high school, and of course, Lila, who’d been running this place since taking it over from her father thirty years ago.
He couldn’t help thinking that a birthday celebration in Atlanta would have been orchestrated with caterers and a band and everyone decked out in designer clothes. This impromptu gathering had a whole lot more to recommend it, especially with a jukebox playing music he remembered from his teens.
He hunkered down in front of his kids. “This is the very best birthday party I’ve ever had,” he told them.
“It’s not fancy like the ones Mommy always had,” Gracie said worriedly.
“And that’s exactly why it’s the best,” he assured her. He stood up. “Now, who wants cake?”
“I do, I do,” Nate said eagerly.
“Me, too,” Gracie said, though she was more sedate. “And then presents.”
He scooped each of the kids up for just an instant and gave them a kiss. “I already have the best present of all. You guys are here to share this with me.”
The truth was, he hadn’t celebrated a birthday in a way that meant more to him in years.
“You are a very sneaky woman,” Luke accused, slipping an arm around Hannah’s waist and dragging her into an alcove by the restrooms. Not the most romantic place in the world, but at least it gave them a moment’s privacy. He tucked a finger under her chin and kissed her, tenderly at first and then with unmistakable hunger. “God, you taste good,” he murmured.
Seaview Inn Page 22
