The Virgin Sex Queen
By Angela Verdenius
(BBW Romance)
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2013 Angela Verdenius
cover image courtesy of Stockphoto4u and istock.com
cover by Joleene Naylor
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I found that some overseas readers were having difficulty with the Australian slang, so I thought a list of the slang I’ve used will help while reading the following story. If I’ve forgotten any, I do apologise! Also, you’ll find some of our Aussie words have different spelling to the US.
* please note that sizes in the US and Australia differ, so when reading of a set dress size, check the conversion on-line if you want!
Cheers,
Angela
Australian Terms/Slang
Arvo - afternoon
Barbie - BBQ
Beaut - beautiful, awesome, great, wonderful
Biccies - biscuits. The same as cookies
Bikie - biker, person who rides motorcycles.
Bloke/s - man/men
Bloody - a swear word ‘no bloody good’, in place of ‘no damned good’
Boofhead - idiot, simpleton, etc. It’s an insult, though sometimes we use it as a term of affection. It depends on how it is said and meant.
Boot (of a car) - trunk
Budgie smugglers - men’s bathers, small, brief and tight-fitting
Buggered - many Aussie use it as a slang word for ‘broken’ (it’s buggered), ‘tired (I’m buggered), and ‘no way’ (I’m buggered if I’m going to do that). Just some examples
Bung/Bunging - as in ‘bunging onto something’, putting on something (bung veggies on a plate, putting veggies on a plate), usually in a careless or ‘easy’ manner.
Chemist - pharmacy
Chips - in Australia we have cold crunchy chips from a packet, or hot chips known in some countries as French Fries
Crash cart - resuscitation trolley in a hospital or medical setting - used for life threatening situations such as cardiac arrest
Dander – temper
Dill - silly, idiot
Doona - like a padded quilt that fits inside a cover and lies on the bed. Can have the warmth of two, three or four blankets, etc.
Donger - penis. Also another meaning is a place people sometimes sleep in, such as ‘dongers’ on mine sites.
Dunny - toilet. When used in the terms ‘built like a brick dunny’, it refers to something built solid, unmoveable.
Giggle-box - TV, television
Got his/her/their goat – annoyed him/her/them
Hoon/s - person/people who indulge in antisocial behaviour. Great explanation in Wikipedia
Iced coffee/chocolate - a milk drink flavoured with chocolate or coffee
Lolly - sweetie, candy
Loo - toilet
Lug - face
Milo - chocolate malt drink. Can have it hot or cold. Yummy!
Moosh - slang for face/mouth
Mobile phone - cell phone
Nong - idiot
Nooky - sex
Panadol - paracetamol
Pav/s - Pavlova/Pavlovas - best dessert ever!
PCYC - Police and Citizens Youth Club
Pedal Pushers - three quarter pants/knickerbockers
Porking - having sex
Primapore - sticky patch with a pad in it, a medical dressing
Pub - hotel
RAC - Royal Automobile Club of Western Australia. Covers insurance, holidays, loans, etc
Rubbers - condoms
Servo - service station
Shag - sex
Sheila - female
Snaggers - sausages
Soft drink - soda, fizzy drink
Tea - some people call the evening meal dinner. In my family, we’ve always called it tea, as in breaky, dinner and tea, or breaky, lunch and tea.
Thongs - worn on the feet, same as ‘flip flops’
Tickled pink - delighted
Tim Tams - a brand of Arnott’s Biscuits. Yummy!
TLC - Tender Loving Care
Torch - flashlight
Tucker - food
Ute - small truck
Vegemite - most Aussies find this spread yummy, many non-Aussies find it too salty. Here’s the hint - if you ever have Vegemite, use it spread thinly, never thickly!
Yamaha & Suzuki - ‘brands’ of motorcycles.
You wally - silly
Wanger - penis
Waterworks - crying
Whopper - a lie
Driving - In Australia, you cannot get a driver’s licence to drive a car until you are 17 years old. You get your Learner’s Permit (which requires you to drive only in the company of a qualified driver), then at 18 you can go for your Probationary licence (you can drive on your own but at restricted speed limits), and then finally you are a fully qualified driver.
Chapter 1
The small box containing the signed books on the seat was welcome. It reminded Sophie that she’d finally made it, she was a published author several times over. A successful, published author. Not making millions, true, but making a living from it.
The blue and red flashing lights in the rear view mirror weren’t so welcome. It reminded her that she had rather a lead foot when it came to speed, though she was sure she hadn’t been going anymore than – she peeked at the speedometer. Ten kms over the speed limit.
Damn it.
With a sigh, she indicated and pulled over onto the side of the road. Rolling down the window, she studied the two cops in the police car that had pulled in behind her. The one driving was built like, well, like a brick dunny. When he got out of the car, she wondered how the hell he’d managed to squash himself into it. It was like The Incredible Hulk in a cop’s uniform, complete with a frown which rather marred the handsome face. Dangerously handsome, she corrected herself. Rather yummy, actually, in a dangerous, cold-eyed kind of way.
The cold-eyed cop proceeded to study the back of her car before squatting down to study the tyres.
Her gaze switched to the other cop who was coming around to the driver’s side door. Shorter than his partner, though still tall in comparison to herself. Not as muscular, but then again she wasn’t sure who would be able to match The Incredible Hulk. Superman, perhaps?
The cop who bent down to peer into her window was no Superman. Superman didn’t have a boyishly handsome face with dark eyes and a mouth that, though in a stern line now, had little quirks at each corner in a clear indication that this cop laughed or smiled a lot. He was the proverbial cute-boy-from-next-door, complete with a rebellious strand of dark hair that stuck up out of his carefully combed thick hair to flop down onto his forehead. Yep, Cute Boy from Next Door.
And oddly familiar.
“’Morning.” His voice was a pleasant baritone.
“Hello.” She smiled up at him.
“Going a bit fast there. Emergency?”
“Ah…no.”
“I see.” He studied her face, a small frown creasing his brow. “Your license, please.”
Oh crap. That request coupled with a frown could mean only one thing. He was going to book her. With an inward sigh, she reached into her small handbag and withdrew her purse, flipping it open to withdraw the plastic square and hand it to him.
Taking
it, he straightened.
While she waited, Sophie eyed The Incredible Hulk in the rear view mirror. He placed one big hand on the side of the car and rocked it easily, his gaze still on the side tyre before moving around to the front of the car to study those tyres. A gold wedding band flashed on his left hand and she wondered who would be brave – or dumb – enough to marry him. He looked like he ate iron for breakfast.
He’d be a good candidate for a BDSM novel. Oh yeah. Sophie’s hand itched to get her notepad out and jot down The Incredible Hulk’s description. She could just imagine him cuffing a woman to the bed, all dominant and -
The cop beside her window bent down again and she caught the faint whiff of aftershave, fresh and pleasant. She’d always been a sucker for a nice aftershave. A nice man, in fact. Unfortunately, it was a sad fact that not many men she’d come across were a sucker for her.
Pushing that unpleasant thought aside, she peered up at Cute Boy.
“Sophie Willow?” He looked from the license photo to her.
“Willow in name, not in build,” she joked, only to inwardly groan when Cute Boy’s eyebrows rose, his gaze drifting over her.
Why the hell had she said that? Why why why? She did an invisible palm to forehead thunking, all the while managing to smile up at him.
She knew exactly what he was seeing. It was what she saw every day when she looked in the mirror. A busty woman with big hips and an arse only a hippo could love. Ye gods!
Cute Boy’s eyes swept back up her body to lock onto her gaze, a definite twinkle in his dark eyes. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
As soon as he was out of sight, Sophie dropped her forehead to the steering wheel and groaned. How embarrassing! “I was never going to do that again! Not ever. That was the promise I made to myself, not to do that, and I went and did it! When will I ever learn? When when when?” Each ‘when’ was accompanied by the thunk of her forehead on the steering wheel.
“Uh – Ma’am?”
She froze.
“Are you all right?”
No. If she had a gun right now, she’d shoot herself.
“Maybe you’d better step out of the car.”
The door opened and out of the corner of her eye she saw the navy pants and black boots of the cop.
Cops. Under the door she could glimpse another pair of boots, much bigger boots. The Incredible Hulk’s boots, in fact.
Could she be any more embarrassed?
“Ma’am? Ms Willow?” Cute Boy’s voice was almost in her ear.
Cheeks flaming, she straightened up in the seat and turned to look out at the cops. Cute Boy’s eyebrows were raised in polite, yet wary, query, and The Incredible Hulk’s cold eyes were drilling holes into her forehead.
“Just remembering something I had to do,” Sophie said weakly, unclipping the seatbelt and swinging out of the car.
“Just come around to the other side of the car so you don’t get hit by traffic.” Cute Boy indicated to the road, where drivers unashamedly ogled the criminal being dragged out of her car by two cops.
Imagination overload, Sophie. Taking a deep breath, she did as instructed.
The Incredible Hulk transferred his all-seeing eyes from her to the car. “Just going to do a quick look around inside, Ms Willow. Is that all right?” His voice rumbled like a diesel engine. “Anything sharp in here I might stick myself with?”
Great. They thought she was drugged or something. “No.”
“And we’ll do a breathalyser.”
And drunk. No wonder, with her talking to herself and trying to bash her brains out on the steering wheel.
“Okay,” she said, a little dispiritedly. Why not? All they’d find would be her….oh crap on a stick.
Her books. Her erotic romances. The books with her name on them as the author. Not that she was ashamed of them, but having two male cops looking at those racy covers and suggestive titles…
Could her day get any worse?
Cute Boy was sitting in the cop car holding her driver’s license, his gaze on her as he spoke to someone on the radio.
Her little car dipped as The Incredible Hulk leaned into it and started searching. The only things he’d find in there would be her suitcase, laptop, her box of sexy books, a small handbag, a half drunk bottle of Diet Coke and a bag of mints.
Holding a breathalyser in his hand, Cute Boy strode around to stand before her. “Now if you could just blow until I say stop.”
If this was one of her books she’d have a dirty comeback for that blow order, but this was reality, so she filed the reference away for future writing and obeyed.
Cute Boy read the result. “Very good.”
Thank you, master. She couldn’t help but keep slipping back into her little world of erotic romances, always looking for something new, something old to tweak, and definitely something in blue.
Like a cop. Sexy cops in uniform. How hot was that? Maybe she could incorporate this little encounter into her latest novel and-
“Ms Willow? Sophie?”
Blinking, she focussed on the cop. “Yes?”
Frowning, he studied her eyes. “Are you all right? You seem a little distracted.”
“Of course.” Distraction was common for her when in the midst of plotting new sexy scenes with cute cops and hard-eyed cops and - damn it, she wanted her notebook to jot down her thoughts! As soon as The Incredible Hulk and Cute Boy hit the road, she was going into a jotting frenzy.
Cute Boy scrutinized her eyes before obviously finally being satisfied that her pupils were the correct size and not pin-pointed with opioids. “Just wait here, Ma’am, and we’ll soon be finished. I doubt you’re carrying anything illegal.”
“How would you know that?” she asked, genuinely curious.
His grin flashed right across his face, making his eyes twinkle in a really familiar fashion. “Instinct.”
“Really?” She studied him closer. Did she know him? Surely not. The world was populated with many cute men, even a little sexy like Cute Boy.
No doubt he’d made many a girl’s heart beat double time, what with the combination of cute looks, twinkling eyes, that rebellious wisp of hair that curled onto his forehead, and a knowing grin.
Knowing grin?
Sophie blinked, but by the time she registered that grin, Cute Boy had his back to her and was leaning into the passenger side of the car.
What was it about him? What was it that niggled at her memory?
The Incredible Hulk was talking softly to Cute Boy, but his rumble was pretty clear to hear even if she couldn’t make out the words. The car dipped as he straightened then opened the back door and did a quick search.
Meanwhile, Cute Boy stood up and cast a glance at her. In his hand he held a book. Punishing Laura. The cover had a very clear picture of a pert bottom with a man’s hand print clearly visible. Underneath that provocative picture was her name emblazoned in all its glory. Sophie Willow. Great, he would find that particular book.
Sophie could feel the pink tinge creep into her cheeks as Constable Cute Boy looked at the cover, mouthed the title, and then turned that twinkling gaze to her.
“Author, Ms Willow?”
As if it wasn’t obvious. Trying to appear cool, she nodded. It was one thing to write erotic romances, another to actually face a member of the public holding one in his hand. Especially because he was a man and cute to boot Most people outside her circle of friends and acquaintances knew only her name and profile photo. She mostly interacted via internet, though she’d met some fans when she’d attended romance book conferences. Luckily, most people thought she wrote under a pen name, not her own.
But now here was Cute Boy holding her racy romance in his hand, his gaze knowing and a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. She recognised that look in his eyes, he was dying to make some remark. Being on the job meant he smothered the urge and simply nodded in admiration – feigned or otherwise – and slid the book back into the box.
Silently she
waited while they finished the search of her car.
The Incredible Hulk looked at her across the top of her little car. “Everything looks fine, Ma’am. Thank you for your patience.”
“No worries.”
“But.” He shut the back car door with a thud that made the car rock a little. “You were speeding.”
No doubt about it. “Yes. I’m sorry.”
“And it wasn’t an emergency.” He frowned. Or rather, his frown just grew darker. Scary.
She barely refrained from twisting her hands behind her back like a naughty girl. “I’m sorry.”
“Speed kills.”
“I know.” Now she felt like crap. She knew the road accident statistics.
“It’s irresponsible.” Disapproval was heavy in the menacing rumble.
“I’m sorry.” Now she was sounding like a cracked record. “I really am. Ummm…are you booking me?”
Those cold eyes bored into her before switching to Cute Boy.
Cute Boy’s lips – and a fine pair of masculine lips they were, her writer’s side and yes, her feminine side, couldn’t help but notice – twitched as though he was suppressing a grin. He remained straight-faced, however, as he proffered her licence. “You’re free to go, Ms Willow.”
Relief coursed through her as she reached for the licence. “Thank you. I promise I’ll watch my speed, I really will.” Her fingers closed over the little rectangle of plastic, but when his fingers tightened on it she glanced up at him inquiringly, only to be taken aback to find him regarding her soberly.
“Consider this a warning, Ms Willow.” His voice was low, his gaze on her face intent. “I only give it once.”
There was an undercurrent in his tone, something steely, something that made her heart skip a beat and her cheeks go all hot. What would happen if she didn’t heed his warning? She almost went dizzy at the erotic thoughts that slipped unbidden through her mind.
His sudden smile was a flash of white teeth, the twinkle back in his eyes as though he could read her dirty mind and was vastly amused by it. “Next time you get a fine.”
The Virgin Sex Queen Page 1
