by Parker,Lori
Shivers wrack my body, and it takes me a moment to figure out if it’s from revulsion or from something else. Something I don’t even want to consider when it comes to Kade.
“No. And you need to keep your fucking hands to yourself.” I push my body forward throwing him off balance, and I shove myself away from the wall. I refuse to be trapped by him again.
He throws his hands up in surrender, and I narrow my eyes at him. I don’t trust him.
“Smart girl.” He gives me his predatory smile again, looking like he wants to devour me. His left canine pushes slightly into his full bottom lip. “We need to talk about how you’re going to get rid of me.”
Kade is all business now. No smiles, no jokes, and I think that I see sadness cross his face, sadness mixed with a bit of longing. No fear, though, and no anger at my previous, epic fucking fail.
“No, I quit.”
I do a stupid move and turn my back on him to go back inside. This time, it’s my cheek pressed into the wall. Kade’s arms cage me in, and I look over my shoulder at him. He doesn’t look angry anymore, he just wants to talk. I don’t. At least I don’t think I do.
There is no pressure on my back, and I could easily escape him.
“This isn’t a job you can quit, and I’m not someone you can just shake off,” he says.
My lungs tighten as I realize how deep the shit pool is that I am currently swimming in is.
“I don’t know how to get rid of you, Kade,” I admit. “I’ve looked everywhere and the spell should have worked.”
Kade moves off of me, giving me my space back. My chest floods as I take a deep breath. “I’ll help you look.” His hands are surrendering to me again. He looks so very human right now.
“I can’t fucking do this.” I mutter to myself.
“Yes, you can.” And he walks away.
I return to work with my head spinning.
****
The music is pounding into my skull. A stress headache has pulsed through my brain since Kade entered my life. It’s always there, laying low, waiting to attack. It beats in time with the music. Lindsay has been giving me death glares all night, along with the rest of the girls tending bar. So I know, without a doubt, that she’s spewed her insecurities about my knowing Kade to them.
I look over at them huddled on the other side of the bar as they shoot more glares my way and I laugh. If she only knew what I was really doing with Kade. She might actually murder me. Or run screaming. Or call my aunt to have me committed again.
“What’s so funny?” she asks as she saunters over to my side of the bar. I had really hoped to never have this confrontation, but of course she chooses to do it tonight, when it’s slow and she has backup.
“You thinking I slept with your ‘boyfriend’.”
She gasps at my boldness. I lean in, and stare up at her. She’s tall, and pretty. I’m short and packed with too much muscle. I refuse to feel inadequate about my body.
“But we both know he’s not your boyfriend,” I say. “Not even close.”
My words strike her like a physical blow.
This.
This is why lust demons are dangerous. They turn rational healthy humans into fucking crazy people.
She grabs my arm. Again. I stare at her fingers as they dig into my flesh.
“Did you sleep with him,” she demands. “Is that why he knows you?” Jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it’s disgusting on Lindsay right now.
“No.”
I don’t owe her an explanation. She doesn’t believe me. And I don’t care. I can’t afford to be friends with someone so weak-willed as to let a demon change her in only one night. Friends like Lindsay get hunters hurt, or killed. Everyone in her life will suffer the repercussions of her ongoing infatuation with the Lust demon. She’ll shut everyone out of her life in pursuit of Kade now.
Her grip on my arm is now bruising, blood pebbles at the points where her fake nails dig into my flesh. I grab her arm and twist it off of me. It’s not a move intended to hurt her, but she gasps like it did. She holds her wrist like it’s broken.
Whatever, I’m the one with blood dripping down my arm.
The sound of the bell over the door is faint over the music, but we both turn to see who is walking in. Her face falls when we see that it’s just the local pot dealer, Tony, coming to set up shop. He sometimes sells the girls bags for a discounted price. It’s a win-win for them. They get a bag for cheap, and they turn a blind eye to what he is really doing in the bar every night.
I’ve got his beer in hand and uncapped before the other girls can move. This is just the man I was wanting to see.
He smiles at me in slight surprise. “Hey, Ty.”
I never wait on him, because I don’t usually require his services. I sit down at the table with him and watch, unsure of how to approach him.
He sits back, amusement flashing across his face. Tony is smart. He may be a lot of other things too, but intelligence always manages to shine through his eyes no matter how high he is. “Whatcha need?”
“Some stress relief,” I answer him. It’s corny and forward, but fuck it. I haven’t actually bought pot since I was fourteen. Before I knew how to handle all the shit that comes with having demon radar.
“I gotchu girl,” he croons in his affected thug accent.
I resist rolling my eyes at him. He leans forward and bumps my knee with his hand. I slide my hand under the table to meet his, and open my fingers as he slips a package in my hands. It’s so not covert at all, but I don’t care. I’ve seen each of the other three girls sit at this table and go through this exact same interaction.
“’S on the house, girl.”
“Thanks, T.” I return his smile.
The cynic in me wonders what I’ll have to do in the future to repay this favor. I don’t doubt that someone like Tony likes having favors owed to him. I push the small bag into my back pocket as I head back to the bar, throwing the three girls my meanest, ‘come at me’ glare.
I sit down at my stool on my side of the bar and watch a few more regulars trickle in for their nightly binge-drinking session.
****
There is a weight on my chest. It’s solid, furry, and rumbling.
Bear leaps off me when I stretch. Morning light streams in through the windows and I close my mouth, wiping drool from my chin and swallowing several times to get a flood of saliva going.
Fuck, I passed out last night after closing the bar. By myself. The three bitches of the West End bailed, leaving me to clean up.
I hop out of the bed and recoil instantly as my feet hit the cold wood floor, I plop back down on the bed, not ready to freeze my feet off. I must have set the air conditioner too cold when I got off last night.
Last night’s jeans are good enough for a day sitting on my ass, so I drag them over to me with my big toe. As I pull them toward me, my little baggie of relief plops out. I’d been so tired that I didn’t even bother doing anything with it. Not that I had any way to smoke it.
Shit, my pot smoking years have long since passed. I hope I can make a halfway decent joint.
I hurry to the bathroom and splash water on my face, and brush my teeth. A quick slap of deodorant, and I’m out the door. The late summer Iowa air, still muggy, assaults my face as I begin the short walk to a gas station where I buy a package of rolling papers and try to look confident while doing it. Luckily the clerk is a youngish guy, and he just gives me a knowing smile. I shove the white package of papers in my back pocket and head out the door and home.
It’s my day off, and I’m determined to spend it outside of my own head. No deep thoughts on demons and no hours reading stupid demon fan fiction on the internet seeing if I can find a solution to my current situation. Thank god, because the only solution I found there was to fall in love with the demon and redeem his black, black, soul.
No thanks.
I pound on Mr. Perkins’ door when I get home. I know for a fact the old guy smokes m
ore weed than probably even Tony, but he’s spiteful, so I don’t want him turning me into our landlord just to get rid of me. When he answers the door, I hand him a nub from my bag and then head into my apartment without a word. I might regret my decision later on, but judging by the smile on the old bastard’s face, it might have made me some in-roads into having a less hostile relationship with him.
I toss my purse on to my couch and head over to my stereo. I had my earbuds in and the music cranked, so the loss of noise as I plug it into my system is enormous.
“That hurts, you know.” Kade’s voice is quiet, almost too quiet for my adjusting ears to hear. My purse is next to him, apparently, I’d hit him with it when I threw it.
I turn around and scream, “What are you doing in my apartment!”
“You left your door unlocked.”
That’s not an answer to my question.
“Door locks don’t stop anyone.” My reply is weak, but truthful. I’d become lax on my demon security these past few months. I used to keep a salt line around my home, but hadn’t gotten around to doing it here yet. Staring at the demon sitting on the couch petting my cat was proof of that.
“Traitor,” I hiss at Bear as he settles back under Kade’s hand. Kade obliges and scratches his ear.
“Don’t blame your pussy for loving my touch. I’m irresistible.”
“I walked right into that one,” I deadpan. Kade just smirks at me. “Leave. Now.” I gesture to my door.
“No. We’ve got work to do.”
“Why the big hurry? I haven’t heard from you in, like, three weeks! Now you’re on my dick to get you dead.”
“Ty, you don’t have a dick. So how can I be on it?” He matches my deadpan, his sarcasm is as amazing as mine.
I burst out laughing. I can’t help it; his voice is dead serious, the look on his face stoic.
“Let’s not talk about my dick anymore. Okay?” I wipe tears from under my eyes.
I sit down on the couch, away from him. He’s obviously not leaving, and I’m too fucking tired to force him. “You know breaking into girls’ houses is next-level vampire shit, right?”
“I’m not a stalker.” Kade spits this out, obviously disgusted being compared to a vamp.
“Could have fooled me” I say, as I toss the rolling papers and bag of pot on my coffee table. He leans forward and snags it with long, elegant fingers. Of course, even his fucking fingers are sexy.
“Nice. Tony?” he asks. Of course he knows who Tony is.
I just shrug at him. My purse is too far away, and I need a card to chop up the nubs. I’m not fancy enough to own a grinder.
“Can you hand me my purse?” If he’s not going to leave, he should at least be useful.
He rolls his eyes at me and obliges. I take out my wallet out and grab a maxed-out credit card. One that I am five-hundred percent certain I will never get paid off. I slip off the couch and sit on the floor in front of the table and proceed to roll a rough-looking joint. I dig in my purse to find a lighter. I know I have one somewhere inside there, buried underneath gum wrappers, receipts, and tampons.
“Here.” A black zippo appears before my face.
“Thanks,” I say as I light the joint. I inhale deeply, knowing that this first toke, will probably choke me. But I go hard.
Dry air hits my lungs, and I cough. Air quickly leaves my body, and my chest spasms, ridding every last bit. I pass the joint to Kade before he can comment on my current state.
It takes me a few seconds to catch my breath, and when I finally do I look over at Kade. He smokes the joint with a cool calm. Obviously, he’s more experienced than I ever got in my one year of rebellion. He leans forward and exhales easily into my face.
The potent drug hits me hard, this easy method much more effective than my harsh hit. My lips part slightly, inhaling as much of it as I can. He hands me the joint again, and this time, I ease a breath from it. Exhaling with a new calm, I hand it back to him. Puff and pass. I watch him with rapt attention, and with each intake, the real world shrinks just a bit more.
It’s just me and Kade.
Kade and me.
He turns and hits me with each of his exhalations. So I’m getting a double whammy. I don’t even realize how close we’ve gotten. I don’t even care.
The room is light, and my clothes are heavy. At some point, I turned on some music, and it plays lightly in the background. Kade sings along with most of the songs. His voice is angelic. It’s smooth and clear. It rings like a bell and then grits like gravel. Dude’s got range.
He’s rolled another joint before we even finish the first one.
We don’t really talk. A few words here and there. Some laughs, but mostly the air is filled with music and his light singing. That he’s a demon is not even on my mind. I can’t say that I’ve forgotten it, but it just doesn’t matter.
This time, when I exhale, I move forward, and press it into his lips. It’s a bold move that I would never do sober. He opens to me, and our lips caress. It’s soft, not a kiss, but it has potential. I pull back before the kiss can be realized.
Next, when he inhales and exhales, he does a French curl. Impressive.
I’m leaning back on my couch when he moves in. His lips trail along my exposed neck, nibble on my chin. It sends sparks of excitement throughout my body. I’m in a dreamland. This is completely surreal, and I don’t know that I have it in me to stop what is happening.
“Kade.” My voice sounds light as air, soft and hesitant.
“Mhhm?” His voice is muffled and he brings his feather light kisses down to my collarbone. I simply raise the joint to his eye level and hand it to him. He takes it and inhales without pause, continuing to kiss my skin after.
I begin to wonder how far I’m willing to let him go. Somewhere a voice in my head is chanting, stop him, stop him, stop him. It’s telling me that I made my mind weak to him. But I don’t think that’s the case. I think this fire that is burning me isn’t manipulation.
Stupid girl that I am, I begin to think, that maybe I am special. And it’s this thought that breaks the trance.
I’m not special. I’m just a toy for a demon.
“Stop.”
My voice is not as strong as I want it to be, but Kade still gets the message. He pulls his head up from the top of my shirt and gives me a sheepish smile. Like a little boy caught looking down his teacher’s shirt. He grabs the joint from my hand again, and drags long and deep. I hold my breath, not allowing any of the smoke to pass through my lips.
“Got a little carried away, didn’t I?” he asks. His voice is distant. I take small comfort that he’s as high as I am.
He shifts back over onto his side of the couch, and I’m rewarded with a glimpse of his arousal. Good to know that he’s as turned on as I am. I’m too high to carry on a meaningful conversation with my cat, let alone with THE fucking demon of lust. Because I’m pretty sure that’s what Kade is. The ArchDemon of Lust.
Yet, I try.
“Why are you here, Kade?” I ask again. Although, I’m not sure if I’m asking why he’s in my apartment, or why he’s on Earth.
“What, I can’t pay my favorite girl a visit?” He shrugs, his natural charm obvious. I close myself off to it the best I can in my foggy state.
“Bullshit,” I scoff at him. “We both know I’m not your favorite anything.”
“To the contrary. You’re going to be my favorite girl until you kill me. Then, even in the depths of hell you’ll still be my favorite girl.” The smile on his face is wistful. “Is it selfish of me to hope that you’ve been a naughty enough girl to spend eternity in hell with me?”
The thought of spending my afterlife in hell with a lust demon is fucking hilarious. And I know this because we both break out into a fit of giggles.
“I don’t suppose you’d be much appreciated down there,” he muses when our giggles subside. The joint is long gone, and sadly there’s just not enough dope left to roll a third one.
&nbs
p; I sigh heavily, and stretch out on my couch. My body feels like it’s sinking, and my throw blanket magically appears on top of me.
“Sleep tight.”
I don’t imagine the kiss on my forehead, or the soft fingertips that trail through my hair, but I wish I did. Because god help me, I’m falling in lust with Kade.
****
I wake the following morning with a resolution of level headedness and complete avoidance where Kade is concerned. I head into the bar for a short shift, and by short, I mean it’s only eight hours instead of my normal ten. It’s Wednesday; hump day. The third worst day of the week in terms of amount of assholes I have to serve alcohol to.
Todd sits at the end of the bar chatting with a local drunk named Pete. I’m surprised to find that Pete being in the bar saddens me. He checked into rehab shortly after I started here. Obviously, this time didn’t stick either.
Todd catches me watching him, and I give him a ‘what the hell’ look and slide my eyes over to Pete meaningfully. Todd and I differ on how to treat habitual alcohol abusers. His philosophy is, they’re gonna drink whether he serves them or not. I’d rather not help another human soul into an early grave.
I wonder how much Kade’s presence in this town affects these people in the bar. Is he making things worse for them? It’s a stupid question, because of course he’s making things worse for them. He has the power to manipulate the way people think, and part of that is to lower their inhibitions. Alcohol is a useful tool for demons.
I’ve always viewed lust as a weak sin, but now I realize, it’s one of the most powerful ones. Because who doesn’t love a good boning? It’s a part of who we are, and it’s how we continue our species. We don’t need envy, gluttony, pride, sloth, greed, or wrath to survive, but in some capacity, we need lust. Or at least modern humans do.
This shit is too deep to be thinking about right now, especially since my brain still feels a little sloshy from yesterday.
For being a short shift, it seems to drag on. We’re fairly busy, but I can’t keep my mind on work. In my mind, I’m formulating a plan to try and help Kade out. And get rid of him. Thankfully the night has been, up to this point, Kade-free, so it’s easy to pretend that I’m not thinking about him.
