by Brooke Page
“Your father’s dead,” Detective Anderson finally said.
Mitch took a sharp breath then found a seat next to Nathan.
“What?” I asked in confusion, my head bouncing from Tyler to the detective.
“He was shot,” Nathan whispered again.
I inhaled another deep breath, my eyes beginning to finally shed tears. I looked up at Tyler, trying to see his face, but he was still looking down and away.
“Ty,” I said quietly, reaching to touch his face. He gently swatted my hand away then let me go, heading over to his desk.
His hand burned my skin as it rejected my comfort. I stood dumbfounded, trying to grasp this awful situation.
“If the two of you think of anything else you need to tell me, please, call. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m afraid I can’t hold back any more information from the news reporters once I leave the building. You have roughly an hour.”
Nathan stood and shook Anderson’s hand while giving him a nod. “Thank you.”
Anderson returned the nod and walked out the door.
“I need to get to mom. Did she go back home to Chicago? Or did they stay at their condo here?” Nathan said, looking at Tyler.
“I’m not sure,” Tyler murmured.
Nathan sighed. “I need to find her before she turns on the news.”
“I doubt she’ll turn on the news,” Tyler said coldly. “I’d check their condo. They were in town last night.”
Nathan nodded and turned to Mitch, who was staring blankly.
“Come on buddy,” Nathan said, attempting to make his voice sound soothing, but hurt and pain was laced with his words. “Let’s go find Mom.” Once Mitch finally stood, he turned to Tyler. “Come on Tyler, she’s going to want all of us to be there.”
Tyler looked up from his computer, no expression on his face. “I have a meeting in Holland.”
We all gaped at him.
“Tyler… I think they’ll understand,” I said cautiously.
He darted his eyes towards me. I took a step back, startled by the flame that was hidden behind them. “I’m not going to just cancel my meeting.”
Nathan and I shared glances, unsure of what to say.
“Ty… go with your brothers. You have to tell your mom about RJ,” I whispered.
His glare was almost deathly. “Becca, they can handle it.” His eyes shifted to Nathan. “Don’t you have to be in Cleveland this afternoon?”
Nathan took a step back, blinking. “Yeah, but…” He was stumbling over his words. I had never seen Nathan so disheveled before.
Tyler shrugged his shoulders, giving Nathan the ‘so go to Cleveland’ look.
I clenched my jaw. Tyler was putting up his guard, and this wasn’t the time to shut us all out.
“If you’re not going to go with your brothers, then come home with me,” I said, making my way behind his desk.
He didn’t turn his head to look at me, but I could tell annoyance was spread across his face. “No.” Turning to face me, he continued, “Nathan and Mitch can handle it.”
His look was way to calm and relaxed. I looked back to Nathan, whose expression was blank.
“Let’s go Mitch,” Nathan said softly, nudging Mitch along. He gently closed the door behind them.
Tyler began sorting through the papers on his desk as I stood there watching him. After what felt like hours, he finally looked in my direction. “Do you need something?”
I dropped my head to the side, my eyes pleading with him to open up to me. “Tyler, let’s go home.”
He rolled his eyes again then stood from his chair, reaching for his sport coat. “Becca, I told you I have a meeting that I can’t miss. I’m sure you have a lot of work that needs to be completed with Will being gone.”
I uncrossed my arms and walked over to where he was putting on his coat. “I’m sure the other junior architects can handle my share for the week. We don’t have to go home, let’s go somewhere… to talk.”
Tyler focused intently on buttoning his jacket. “A week? A bit long for time off don’t you think? Besides, there’s nothing to talk about. RJ died; there isn’t anything else to say.”
He slid past me back to his desk to grab a few folders and put them in his travel bag.
“Okay,” I said quietly. He needed time to process what had happened. Eventually he would open up to me. I needed to remember that Tyler didn’t do well with real emotions, and when he was ready, I would be there to comfort him in a heartbeat.
When Tyler gathered his things to leave, he barely brushed my cheek with his lips. It was the most estranged kiss I had ever felt from him, and my chest tightened.
“Will you be home for dinner?” I squeaked.
“I was planning on staying at my condo tonight,” he said tightly.
I gulped as a stared at his beautiful face, willing him to look me in the eye. I would have grabbed his face, but I was terrified he would swat my hand away again. “Am I invited?”
His eyes finally met mine, and a trace of sadness was in them. I was thankful. For a moment I thought he had turned to stone.
“Of course,” he whispered. “I’ll be late though. Don’t wait up.”
I nodded my head, wanting to wrap my arms around him, but he walked out of the office before I even got the chance.
***
No way was I going to be able to focus on work. I made my way down the stairs, not wanting the silence of the elevator. When I reached the 7th floor, I started to hear murmuring.
“It’s okay, buddy,” I heard Nathan’s voice in a soft hush. “No one could have predicted this.” I heard heavy, sporadic breathing then found Mitch sitting on the landing with Nathan kneeling down next to him.
My heels clicked as I continued down to where they were; both Mitch and Nathan shot a glance my way. Mitch wiped his eyes and started to stand, turning his head in the opposite direction of me.
My eyes began to water as well, not sure what to say. Mitch was closest to RJ, and I couldn’t imagine what to say to console him.
“I’m sorry, I should have taken the elevator,” I said quietly.
Nathan shook his head as he patted Mitch’s shoulder. “It’s fine. We didn’t want to take the elevator either.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
Nathan gave me a sincere nod. Silence filled the space around us, making the air thick and uncomfortable. “Come with us, Becca,” Nathan asked. “Maybe it’ll soften the blow of Tyler not being there.”
“She likes you better than Tyler anyway,” Mitch sniffed, a small laugh escaping him. Nathan let out a soft chuckle as well, probably feeling a tad bit of enjoyment seeing his little brother gaining his composure.
Looking at both of them skeptically, I finally nodded my head, and we all descended down the stairs in silence.
The security guard shockingly let us out of the building without hesitation. He must have recognized Mitch’s SUV. I was kind of surprised Mitch wanted to drive, but he gathered himself pretty quickly after I walked into his and Nathan’s moment.
“I’m sorry Tyler isn’t coming,” I said, breaking the silence.
Nathan shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t say I’m not surprised. But I really thought this would be one of those moments where he’d let his guard down. I’m sure he’ll open up to you later tonight, Becca.”
I swallowed hard, hoping Nathan was right.
***
The empty pit in my stomach wouldn’t go away as I rinsed my body in the warm shower at Tyler’s condo. Watching Mary earlier literally fall to her knees with her two boys comforting her was heartbreaking. She sobbed for over an hour before she could coherently speak. They didn’t share any details, just that RJ had been shot. I still didn’t exactly know what had happened.
Mary kept repeating herself once she could finally mangle a few words together.
We were finally connecting again.
Our relationship was stronger than ever.
He wanted us t
o be a family.
Why would God take him from me?
I began crying along with her, taking my turn trying to sooth her. I admired Nathan’s strength. He never broke, but anyone could tell he was hurting. He was being strong for his family, like I assumed he always had to be with RJ being absent more than half their lives. Never once did he let go of Mary’s hand.
Mary didn’t ask where Tyler was, but thanked me over and over again for coming with Mitch and Nathan. “We’re a family now. We all need to stick together when tragedies happen”, she said, giving me one last squeeze before we left.
Shutting off the shower, I searched for one of Tyler’s t-shirts and a clean pair of panties. Every light in the condo was on, and I planned on keeping it that way until Tyler was home. I didn’t want to think about how RJ died, and the light was comforting to me as I blocked out my unsettled feeling.
I dove into Tyler’s satin sheets and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels, looking for something mind numbing to keep my mind from wandering to scarier thoughts. Grabbing Tyler’s pillow, I inhaled his scent, causing me to ache even more for him to open up to me.
Finally, at 12:15 a.m. I heard the door to Tyler’s condo open. I sighed in relief. My Ty was finally home, and for the first time, I hoped he’d greet me with sadness, wanting my arms wrapped around him. I waited to hear his footsteps come up the spiral stairs, but I only heard cupboards opening and the ice machine go off more than a few times. I frowned and squeezed his pillow tighter. Tyler was drowning himself in alcohol, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. Maybe he would start talking once he had a few drinks in him.
Just as I was about to go down the stairs to check on him, the light from the kitchen shut off and I heard his footsteps slowly climbing the metal stairs. I shut the TV off as soon as he entered the room.
“Why are you still awake? I told you not to wait up for me,” he said smoothly. His tie was undone and draped around his neck, the first few buttons of his white dress shirt opened, sleeves rolled to his elbows.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I said softly, sitting up on the bed. He nodded then headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I laid back down on the goose feathered pillows. He wasn’t ready to talk, and my gut was still twisted. How could I talk to him about the death of his father’s effect on me if he wasn’t ready to talk about it himself?
His shower was speedy, and I half expected him to maul me the second he got out. Sex always seemed to be his go to for problem solving. Really, it pushed his feelings deeper, giving him a distraction instead of a solution.
Unlike what I predicted, he casually slipped on his boxer briefs and shorts and walked to my side of the bed. “Can I turn off the lamp?” he asked.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I answered. After switching the light off, he walked to his side and climbed under the covers. We lay silently next to each other for what felt like hours.
Why wasn’t he touching me? He always touched me, even if we weren’t going to make love.
Tentatively, I reached my hand to touch him, shocked by how he flinched. I quickly drew my arm back. “I’m sorry,” I apologized.
I heard him let out a shaky breath then felt his hand grasp my arm, tugging me to him. I let out a soft sigh, grateful to be pulled into his arms. His touch felt different though. It wasn’t warm but distant. He was distracted for good reason, and it hurt. I wrapped my arm around his chest while nuzzling his neck, wanting to bury myself in him.
His silence was torture, but the words he finally spilled gave me hope.
“Thank you for being here,” he said in barely a whisper.
“I’m here for you, Ty. Always,” I said with a crack in my voice.
His body shuddered as he rolled to his side towards me. He firmly wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my hair and tangling our legs together.
I let out a breath of relief, rubbing my thumbs on his chest. His hold around me was so tight that I couldn’t move my arms.
I waited for him to speak again, but only heard the sharpness of his breath turn steady along with the rise and fall of his chest on my hands and cheek.
An unspoken message passed through us with his tight embrace. His father’s death affected him more then he put off, and I had a feeling it was going to be a very hard hurdle for him to jump.
Chapter 10
Tyler
Black. That’s what I was going to wear to my father’s funeral. I was starting to feel like it matched my soul. What asshole still hates his father with a passion after he dies? Me. He had betrayed my brothers and me mere hours before his death.
My chest tightened, making it hard for me to concentrate on knotting my tie. My hand shook as I closed my eyes to focus on breathing.
A soft hand covered mine, and I bit my lip in frustration, turning my head away from Becca. She had been more than patient, not hounding me every five seconds like my brothers or mother. She never said a word to me, only spoke if I would speak to her. I couldn’t look into her eyes; all they held were pity and sadness for me. If only she knew the feelings I had inside were of complete rage.
“Will you teach me?” she asked in her sweet voice.
I licked my lips, unsure what she wanted me to teach her.
I sensed her smile. “Teach me how to tie your tie. I’ve always wanted to learn.” I chanced meeting her eyes, and my lip quirked.
“Why would you want to know how to tie a tie?” I asked, my eyes moving from her to the half-ass job I was doing in the mirror. Becca turned her head to look at me through the mirror as she started to unravel the mess I had made.
“Just another excuse to touch you.” She grinned then brought her eyes back to my neck.
A moment of guilt passed through me. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to screw her nonstop just so I could have a calm nerve in my body for a small moment, but I didn’t. I knew I wouldn’t be gentle. I’d have nailed her so hard and forceful, and I couldn’t do that to Becca. I wouldn’t use her to relieve my stress when I didn’t even know if it was what I really needed. I had been distant the past four days, afraid to let her see the confusion I had from the death of my father.
Her fingers paused for a moment then she began fumbling again. I took her hands and tried to explain what to do. Her first attempt was awful, but gradually she got the hang of it.
Her grin was wide as she looked up at me. “Hah! Third time’s the charm,” she said proudly while resting her hands on my chest.
I smiled down at her as silence passed between us. Her smile never faltered as she cautiously brought her hands to my face, running her fingers along the just more than scruff on my jaw. The moment was tender and well needed.
“Maybe I should shave,” I contemplated.
“Nah, I think it’s hot,” she flirted, biting her bottom lip.
I took a deep breath, noticing the fire in her eyes. That look had an effect on me that she couldn’t possibly understand. She desired me, but I wasn’t ready. I still didn’t trust myself.
“We should get going. Most likely we’ll run into traffic once we hit Chicago,” I said while clearing my throat, gently removing her wrists from my chest. She nodded, her smile fading as she walked past me to her side of the walk in closet.
I let out another deep breath, feeling like shit for denying her. It wasn’t an easy task either, especially when I watched her bend down to put on those damn black heels. I didn’t think she liked wearing them, but holy hell did they make her legs seem long. Her nose was to my chin when she wore those suckers. Confining the bulge in my pants from the effect those heels and her sleek, form fitted black dress was becoming very difficult.
“Do you want me to make you anything quick? Grab a power bar?” she asked kindly as she slid by me to the bedroom.
“No, I’m fine,” I said following her, willing my eyes to not greedily travel down her body.
“I’ll grab one just in case you change your mind then we can go, okay?”
I no
dded my head as though she could see me while putting on my sport coat. I was going to be sweating bullets in this thing.
I was lost in my thoughts in the Maserati as we drove down the highway, wondering who would come and what each ass kisser would say. I didn’t feel like dealing with business people today offering their bullshit condolences. Everyone who did business with RJ knew he was a slime ball and only gave a shit about money but would act differently.
“What time did you tell your mom we would pick her up?” Becca asked, interrupting my thoughts.
“Nathan’s bringing her.”
“Tyler,” she scolded. “Your mom wanted us to bring her.”
I rolled my eyes thinking back to the funeral home last night when we were making arrangements for RJ’s casket to get to Chicago. My mother was all over me, hounding me about what to do and bugging me to talk to her. I was sick of her whining and crying. RJ was the biggest cheating prick to her. Why she was so upset was beyond me. I begged Nathan to take her the long three hour drive to the funeral home instead of Becca and me.
“Nathan handles her better,” I said flatly.
“She just wants your comfort, and I think she wants to comfort you,” Becca said quietly.
I snorted. “I don’t need to be comforted.” My chest tightened at the words. I was so messed up inside with all the anger and rage; I couldn’t stand the thought of someone telling me everything was going to be okay.
Becca stayed silent, not commenting.
Just as I was getting lost in my thoughts again, her sweet voice rang through the car. “Can I hold your hand?” she asked while running her finger along the backside of my hand that was firmly holding the gear shifter.
“Yeah,” I said, my mood becoming softer. She smiled and squeezed my hand, pulling it to her lap. She used her other hand to keep drawing circles along my knuckles and wrists. Shockingly, my mind stopped spinning and, oddly enough, her gentle touch was comforting the entire ride to Chicago.
