by Brooke Page
“I’m sure you both will look beautiful,” Mary said, grinning from ear to ear. “And you too, Miss Josie!” Josie smiled brightly. She loved her flower girl dress. Heather said she was constantly trying to wear it around the house.
Acra came back with two assistants holding dresses in bags then placed them in the changing room. “Ready to get started, Becca?” she asked.
I nodded and took her hand to walk into the dressing room.
I think I tried on at least a dozen dresses. My mother made a face at each and every one of them. It was fine because none of them felt perfect to me.
Some were long and very narrow through the hips. I didn’t like the mermaid look they gave. Some were too puffy while others were too plain. Normally I liked sweet and simple. It matched my personality. But this was my wedding dress, and I didn’t want any second guesses, even if it felt like the groom was second guessing me.
I was beginning to get discouraged, until Acra brought me one more dress.
My mother sighed, “I don’t think that one is going to work for your figure, Becca.”
“She should still try it on,” Jamie said, helping Acra hold the train as we examined it from the hanger. It was strapless with very intricate beading across the bodice and down the hips. It intrigued me enough to step off the pedestal and take off the gaudy dress covered in tulle that I was wearing.
“I think this one will fit, too,” Acra said encouragingly. None of the dresses we tried on fit, most of them were too small for my size six self. I guess that’s what you get when coming to a designer who does weddings for movie stars.
“I think this one will take everyone’s breath away, including yours,” Acra whispered in delight as she zipped up the back. It actually fit and amazingly felt a little loose. “We’d have to take it in a little, and some from the bottom, but that’s easy.”
I closed my eyes, preparing to see at least one set of disappointed eyes in the tough crowd in front of me. Acra pulled back the curtain to the fitting room, and silence filled the room as she helped me step on the pedestal.
Afraid to open my eyes, I took a deep breath and was stunned to see their expressions.
“Oh, Becca…” Heather choked.
“It’s beautiful. You look beautiful,” Mary said, her voice thick with emotion.
Jamie nodded her head, tears of happiness threatening her eyes.
“Auntie B, you look so pretty!” Josie squealed.
I blew out air as I turned to my biggest critic who was standing by the three way mirror.
My eyes glistened as I saw myself.
The dress fit perfectly through my waist and hips, snug and flattering. I didn’t feel huge or disgusting but pretty and graceful.
Acra must have noticed my stunned face, as she quickly grabbed a head piece. “Just to get an idea,” she murmured so only I could hear.
I hadn’t met my mother’s eyes yet. I was terrified my happiness would be shattered with her disapproval and impeccable capability to squash my good feelings. Finally, she stepped in front of the mirror, head cocked as she studied me. A lone tear escaped her eye as a small smile played on her lips. “It’s perfect.”
I met her smile as I blinked hard.
Then all of my pent up emotions with Tyler and the Conklin mess rushed my head. A large lump formed in my throat as I did everything in my might to keep my chest from jolting and my tears from escaping down my cheeks.
I found the perfect dress and have gotten approving eyes from everyone I loved.
Except I doubted my groom's feelings for me. I doubted if he would ever be able to crawl out of the dark and dreary hole he found in his head with his father and grandfather. I bit my lip, trying to contain it from quivering. Sniffling once, I put my head down to try and hide from my onlookers, but it was nearly impossible when all eyes were on me.
“It can be overwhelming when you find the perfect dress,” Acra said while smiling.
I nodded my head, hoping everyone else would buy that as the excuse for my emotions
Jamie stood and walked over to me. “Are you okay?” she asked quietly. I couldn’t nod or say yes but looked back down towards the ground. Heather felt Jamie’s concern and walked to my other side. “What’s wrong?” she asked, not as quietly.
I shook my head. “I’m fine. Just happy to have found a dress everyone likes. I just hope…” I closed my eyes. A tear betrayed me and fell down my cheek.
Jamie tilted her head in understanding while Heather looked worried.
“Becca, why don’t you let me help you out of the dress,” my mother said quietly.
I was afraid to meet her stare. Her tone meant she knew something was wrong. I reluctantly stepped down, Jamie showing concern for letting me go in that room with my mother. Most likely she was fearful of my mother saying something to make me completely lose it.
“I think Becca needs a mother-daughter moment,” she said kindly, ushering me to the changing room.
Stepping down from the pedestal, I walked to the dressing room, not meeting anyone’s eye. Even Mary looked nervous now.
My mother followed, closing the curtain behind me. “Becca, you look beautiful in this dress. This is the one. If there were any time I wanted you to believe me, it’s now sweetheart. I mean it when I say you will take everyone’s breath away.”
I choked back a sob. Her words were liberating from her usual judgmental self.
“Are you getting cold feet?” she asked sympathetically. “It’s perfectly normal.”
I shook my head. “He’s different,” I croaked. “He won’t talk to me.”
She took a step towards me, putting her hands on my biceps. “Sweetie, I think he’s going through a very difficult time right now.”
“I know, but I want to be there for him. But he keeps hiding in his work. You’ve seen how often we’ve been together the past six weeks. I’ve slept in your basement more then I’ve slept with him,” I sniffled, feeling odd for admitting I was actually sleeping with him.
“Baby, he’s a businessman like your father.”
I shot my eyes to the ceiling, unsure if I should say what I was about to let spill from my mouth. “I know… but I don’t want to marry someone like Dad. I don’t want your life. I want my husband to be there for me and for me to be there for him. I don’t want to live separate lives.”
She bit her lip and stared for a second before she responded to my confession. “I know you kids wished your father was around more when you were growing up, and I tried to be there for you. I know I didn’t always say the right things or treat each of you how you needed to be treated, but I tried Becca. Your father was there for me, more than you know. Physically, he was gone a lot, but we always communicated. Not for a second did I doubt the love we had and still have. Just because someone isn’t there in the flesh doesn’t mean they aren’t in your heart. I know Tyler will always be there for you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he found a way to be around more if you talked to him.”
I nodded my head, a rush of relief that she didn’t take what I said the wrong way. “I wish he would open up to me, that’s all. I think we could be okay if that happened.”
“Sweetheart, men don’t open up easily. From what I’ve seen, Tyler opens up to you more than anyone else. He’s calm with you, at least that’s what Mary says. But if you don’t want this, you don’t have to marry him.”
I looked into her dead serious eyes. “You’d be okay if I didn’t marry him?” I asked, surprised.
“Becca, you have to be happy. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. I don’t care who you marry, as long as they treat my baby with respect and build her up, not put her down.” She looked to the ground. “I know I didn’t do a good job building you up, and I’m so sorry.” Tears were in her eyes now, and guilt filled my chest.
“Mom, that’s not true.”
“Don’t defend me because you feel bad. It’s the truth. I’ve vowed to myself that I’m not going to be that mom anymore.
But baby, know I’ve always loved you, more than anything.” Her voice was choppy now, and I automatically reached for her, as though I was a little girl wanting to be comforted by her momma. She was always there for my siblings and me.
“I love you Mom,” I said into her shoulder as I squeezed her thin frame.
I felt her shudder once then say, “I love you too.” She backed away and looked me over again, with pure happiness in her wet eyes. “I know you love Tyler, and I know he loves you. I’ve seen how he looks at you. Your dad looks at me the same way.”
We both let out small laughs then our eyes met again. “What do you think?” she asked softly, yet encouragingly. It didn’t feel like she was encouraging me for something she wanted, but because she knew I wanted to marry Tyler. And I did. I knew we would jump over this hurdle, just like we had jumped all the other hurdles to get to this point. I was going to have to be the one to give the push start this time, and fight, as he had fought so hard for me before.
I nodded my head, smiling, wiping my eye with a tissue that was conveniently placed in the dressing room.
My mom smiled back at me then turned me to go back outside. “You are going to make the most beautiful bride. Don’t tell your sister I said that though,” she whispered in my ear. I could sense her smile. My grin was wide when I saw the three concerned faces that were very close to the curtain. No doubt they had overheard some of our conversation, but I didn’t care. I looked to Acra and nodded my head rapidly, my smile almost hurting my cheeks from being so big.
“This is the one,” I said confidently.
Chapter 16
Tyler
“Let’s start measuring, gentlemen,” Rocco, the tailor for Oxford suits, said while holding his piece of measuring tape. This wasn’t anything new to me. Nathan would always drag me to places like this to get fitted for the finest suits. I couldn’t care less, but for the wedding I was being a little more tolerable. I wanted to look my best for my Becs.
I had done well the past few weeks. I hadn’t had any major panic attacks, and they only seemed to happen when I thought about RJ and my grandfather. I had almost pushed the feeling away, and I was sure by the time Becca and I were going to escape for a few days, it would be gone completely.
“Thanks for meeting us with some of your collection at the office, Rocco,” Nathan said as he stretched his arms out. We had a few meetings this morning, and Ray, Max, Michael, and Mitch all met us afterwards to be fitted.
“How much purple do we have to wear?” Mitch asked.
“More than me,” Ray said. “The joys of being an usher.”
“I’m sure you’ll get to wear a pretty flower though,” Max said, patting Ray's shoulder. Ray looked backwards and gave him a stiff smile. “But this little guy is going to steal the show anyway,” Max added as he knelt down to Emmett who was sitting in the stroller.
I was impressed Emmett hadn’t made a peep.
“Are you sure she wants black tuxes?” Rocco asked as he finished measuring Nathan. “Gray would look spectacular with the plum lining.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “She wanted black. At least that’s what her email said.”
Rocco came over to me with the tape measure in hand. “All right, but if she changes her mind, let me know. It’ll be no trouble. Nothing but the best for the Conklins and the Stines.”
I gave him a tight smile, knowing Becca hated how peoples’ eyes grew big when they heard our names. She hated that we were associated so much with our parents. Sometimes I got just as annoyed. Lately the idea of running away together felt like the answer to all of my problems.
“Max, ever think of moving to Chicago?” Rocco asked.
Max shook his head. “Missy wouldn’t like the city. Grand Rapids is about all she can take.”
“I love Chicago, but Heather is like her mom. She wouldn’t be caught dead in this city. Same for Becca,” Ray said. “Although, I have been enjoying her babysitting the kids while you play in this city, Tyler,” Ray teased.
I clenched my teeth. “I’m not playing.”
Ray smirked. “I know, big guy. Just giving you a hard time. She has been in a funk though. Are you planning on moving here with her?”
“No, she’s happy by the water,” I murmured, giving Mitch a dirty look. He rolled his eyes at me.
I had given him a swift punch to the face after the intruder in our house. He didn’t see it coming and thought it was a cheap shot, but boy did it feel good.
Mitch said he hadn’t done any deals on our property and didn’t know what I was talking about, but I was at my wits end with him and so ready to torture his ass until he told us where the bricks were hidden with the drugs. I secretly hoped it was all in Miami since he had been there more often. If they were in Miami, then they’d be far away from Becca. But I guess that wouldn’t matter because they were still our bricks. Unless he was putting them on other clients' properties. My head spun. What the fuck would that mean legally?
Nathan was very monotone about the entire scheme. I think he didn’t want to let off how truly worried he was with all that Chino was doing amongst our company.
“Becca always liked the beach,” Max said. “That was her dream, to live on the water.”
I smiled to myself, happy I was able to give her one of her dreams. I planned on giving her whatever she wanted.
“Now she’s got her dream guy, even if the asshole went to Michigan,” Michael piped in, slapping me hard on the back. I laughed to myself, knowing I would forever get his grief for going to his opposing school. Even though it might seem annoying, it made me feel accepted into their family. I was glad to have a place where arguing wouldn’t take place over dinner on the holidays. Although that wouldn’t happen anymore, now that RJ was gone.
My chest tightened, causing me to cough.
“You all right?” Nathan asked, studying my features. I nodded quickly to him, trying to regain my composure.
Taking away the attention from my coughing fit, Ray’s phone chirped with a Dora the Explorer “backpack, backpack” chime.
His face lit up as he read his message. When his head popped up, we were all looking at him. “What?”
“Um, your ringtone?” Michael questioned with a raised eyebrow.
“Josie picked it out,” Ray said offensively. “Anyway, the ladies want to go out tonight.”
“That might ruin our plans,” Mitch smirked. “We were going to have a pre-bachelor party.”
“No,” I clipped. “I’m not going bar hopping tonight.”
“You will if Becca wants to,” Ray said.
I bit the insides of my cheek. Bar hopping wasn’t really my thing, and I didn’t want to tempt myself into drinking around Becca, not yet. I still didn’t trust myself to not go into a fit of rage or anxiety around her.
“Come on, just a few drinks, Tyler. It’ll be fun. I’ve already made reservations at Enclave,” Nathan coaxed. “Besides, who knows if we’ll have time for another bachelor party.”
“Don’t have too much fun,” Max interluded as Rocco started measuring him. “We have a tee time at 9:00 a.m. at Cog Hill.”
Ray laughed. “I doubt we’ll cause too much trouble, Max.” Max gave him a stare, and Ray stopped laughing.
“Okay, fine. A few drinks. And this counts as my bachelor party,” I said, pointing at Mitch.
“Aw, dude, they don’t have strippers at Enclave,” Mitch pouted.
I shot him a look. I didn’t need to see any naked bodies besides Becca’s.
***
The bar was loud and jam packed. It took us almost twenty minutes to find our VIP section. I was beyond irritated and drank my first Captain and Coke way too fast.
“Why don’t we go find some chicks to dance with?” Mitch shouted.
“Go ahead,” I waved to Mitch, happy to have his obnoxious self leave my air space. Michael nudged Mitch, and they found their way to the dance floor.
I sat down and sighed, closing my eyes while leaning back i
n the leather booth. At least they were comfortable. Nathan sat next to me, holding his scotch in one hand. “I talked to Anderson yesterday,” Nathan said in my ear because of the thumping music.
I clenched my jaw. “What did he want.”
“You know, beating around the bush about Chino’s accounts. I told him I wasn’t allowed to discuss our client’s personal accounts, and he’d have to take up any matters he had with Chino himself.”
I huffed. “He’s a nosy bastard.” Anderson was a little shit to me ever since he called RJ’s death a suicide. That was bullcrap. I didn’t believe it. I didn’t like him constantly snooping around our office. I wished he’d get a fucking clue. If Nathan and I couldn’t figure out where the illegal drugs were in our business, then he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to either.
“I agree. But we need to keep him believing everything is peachy. So the next time he talks to you, put a smile on your face. You are getting married after all.” I raised a brow at him. “You don’t seem excited,” he said, taking a sip from his drink as he looked down at the dancers. His eyes hardened for a second as though he saw something he didn’t like. “I mean, shouldn’t you be all doughy eyed?”
Ray came and sat down across from Nathan and me. He had a few beers already and was obviously feeling good. “He’s not a chick. They are the ones that get all bushy tailed.”
Nathan regained his focus from the dance floor then laughed. “Bushy tailed?”
Ray shrugged his shoulders and crinkled his nose. Then a sly smile crossed his face as he watched the stairs. “There’s one sexy woman,” he said in a deep voice. His eyes grew hungry, and I couldn’t help but turn to see who he was looking at.
Oh, I was in trouble.
Heather and Becca were walking up the stairs, and I swear to God Becca was trying to kill me with her outfit. A super tight, hot pink dress hugged her body and was way too many inches from the top of her knee. Her hair was tousled from the Chicago wind, and her lips were bright along with her flushed cheeks. I was getting hard already, and I gulped with every step she took towards me.
