by Brooke Page
“She’s been a mess. She broke down when we were wedding dress shopping.”
My heart sank. Broke down?
“Don’t start treating her like RJ treated me all those years. I thought you knew better from watching him while you grew up,” she chastised.
“I’d never cheat on Becca,” I growled, appalled she would even insinuate such a horrid idea.
“You are right now!” she shouted, throwing her hands around my office. “It might not be some sleazy woman, Tyler, but you’re obsessed with work! Stop putting this before Becca! It’ll destroy you!”
My jaw clenched as I stared down at my desk. I wasn’t obsessed with work. I was using it as a distraction.
“I know you love her. I’ve seen how you look at her,” my mother said more softly. “But sweetie, you need to put Becca first.”
I closed my eyes. “Like you put us first all those years?”
She looked like I stabbed her with a knife, turning it deep inside her.
“Okay, I get it. I was a horrible mother.” she exaggerated. “I left you with your grandmother and nannies. But I was trying to please my husband. Just like Becca is going to try and please you. Don’t take advantage of her, Tyler.”
“Becca won’t put up with this lifestyle for long,” I said quietly. “She won’t jump when I tell her too, not anymore.”
“Good,” she said, nodding her head. Silence passed through our stares and a tear fell down her cheek. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were younger.”
Now I was uncomfortable with her apology. It was easier to be mad at her, resent every missed moment of my youth. How could we start over? I stayed quiet, not sure how to address her comment.
She turned to leave then saw a photo of Wrigley Field on the wall. She traced a finger on the frame, a small smile played on her lips, countering her wet eyes. “I remember when you were ten years old and went to Wrigley Field for the National Anthem with your little league team. You were so excited. I don’t think you slept at all the night before. You were bouncing off the walls, talking about how you wanted to get all of the players’ autographs.” Her smile widened at the memory and tugged at my heart. I thought she was too drunk to remember anything from my childhood.
“Just like your first high school game, when you got pulled up to varsity. You were so nervous yet focused when I watched you on the bench. Your leg was bouncing. You wouldn’t talk with any of the other team members.”
She turned to look at me, happiness shining through her tears. “I always talked about you and your baseball at brunches. The other wives got annoyed and bored I think, but I didn’t care. I was so proud of you for being focused on something other than that stupid business.”
I swallowed hard. She did come to all of my games, even a good portion of my college games, and I just ignored her. Not caring or being grateful for her support. She typically had a drink in her hand, and I always thought it was just a reason for her to escape her confinements with RJ.
“I’ll never forget how disappointed you were when RJ missed your first college game.” The life left her eyes. “He never told you, but he tried his hardest to get there. He called me at least six times during the game, wanting to know what was happening.”
My chest felt like it was going to collapse. “He did?”
She nodded her head. “Tyler, he wanted to come to your games. He used to play you know. He got suspended from his high school team because of bad behavior, but he could have been good. You got your talent from him.”
My eyes stung as I screwed them shut. “Then why didn’t he ever play with me? Why didn’t he ever show interest? I never once knew he even wanted to come to my games.”
She shook her head sympathetically. “RJ never wanted anyone to know how he felt. He always had to be the calm and witty one. He never let his guard down. A lot like someone else I know,” she murmured with an arched brow.
I scowled at her. “Why was he so different from Papa?” I asked in confusion.
My mother sighed loudly then walked over to one of the plush black leather couches. “Your grandfather and RJ were a lot alike, but your grandfather wanted everyone to like him. He was two faced in other ways.”
I blinked at her intently, a small part of me terrified what more I was going to find out about the man I had so much respect for.
My mother crossed her legs and took another deep breath. “I’ve heard the ugly side of your grandfather. He could be downright nasty to RJ. What he said to him on your very first college game...,” her voice faded, anger creeping into her words.
“He was mad he missed it,” I assumed, taking a seat back at my desk.
My mother laughed while shaking her head. “I’m not sure if I should tell you this, but your grandfather was the reason why he didn’t show.”
I shook my head, knowing they had probably gotten into a fight and RJ couldn’t stand being in the same vicinity as his father.
As though my mother read my mind, she said, “Tyler, it wasn’t because he was mad at Robert but because Robert made RJ stay and do his work so Robert could come and watch your game.”
I looked at her in bewilderment. “What?”
She shook her head. “I loved your grandparents Tyler, more than anything. They have done so much for me, but they could be nasty when it came to you boys. They didn’t want to miss a thing, even if it came down to between them and us.”
I rubbed my eyes with both palms, feeling more confused than ever.
“They always came first, whether RJ and I had an opinion or not.” She sniffled for a moment then continued talking. “I wanted to leave so many times, take you boys out of your beds and disappear. I wanted to be your mother so badly, Tyler. Sometimes that house felt like a prison. Things got better when we were in our own house, but they still had a hold on us. When RJ would be demanding I attend certain functions and parties, your grandparents would be insisting to spend time with you and your brothers. At the time I didn’t have a voice to say no.”
Tears spilled down her face, but she quickly dabbed them away. “Please, don’t let this change how you thought of your grandparents. They loved you and provided for you when I couldn’t.” She sniffled loudly again, and my heart twisted into a noose, hanging itself for thinking so poorly of my own mother.
“You knew about Papa, didn’t you?” I choked.
“What? That he was a dirty crook?” She half laughed again, standing from the couch. “Yes, unfortunately I got the heads up from your father. RJ and Robert’s relationship was a lot like the relationship you had with your father, Tyler.”
I hit my fist on my desk, furious for how stupidly blind I was. “How come I never saw it? How come I never figured it out?” I stood from my chair, covering my mouth and holding my chest.
My mother rapidly shook her head, making her way to stand by me. “No, Tyler. Don’t beat yourself up about this. You were so young; you still are. You’ve always held too many responsibilities. You need to remember the good in your grandparents and in RJ.”
Mary took a step closer to me, her emotions radiating into mine.
“I know it’s hard to find good memories of RJ, but…” She quietly laughed. I let out a small chuckle, but turned into an embarrassing sob. Covering my head with my hands, my chest heaved as I fought back tears of regret and guilt.
“Tyler, sweetie,” my mother comforted. Then I felt her hand on my back, my body shuddering, making my cries harder to control. She rarely touched me, and I never wanted her to until now. Her hand was soothing like Becca’s as it made circles on my back.
Mary gently pulled my body into hers, holding me the best she could while I cried like a little girl. I had so many emotions, so many feelings that I didn’t know how to control or what to do with.
I felt her chest stutter, knowing tears were falling from her face as she got to hold me for the first time since either of us could remember.
“Everything will work out Tyler,” she hushed. Her body
was so tiny but offered so much condolence and compassion. “Let me help you through this. Nathan and Mitch too. We all need each other even more so now. Don’t push us away. We all love you. Especially Becca.”
I moved my hands from my face to wrap around her thin frame, my body crouched so I could put my head on her shoulder. Her smell of fancy flowery perfume reminded me of when I was little, maybe the first memory I had of her.
Sometimes she would let me sit on her bathroom counter while she got ready. I remember looking at all the different bottles of perfume and makeup, wanting to touch all of them to see what they did. She would sing as she applied the contents of the funniest looking bottles to her face and body, smiling periodically at me. She was pregnant with Mitch in this specific memory. She would rub her belly then encourage me to feel it too. Her smile was like diamonds, and I let out another ugly tear for forgetting how she looked at me as her little boy.
Then I remembered my grandmother coming in, scooping me up and taking me to the kitchen to feed me sweets or play games with me. The look on my mother’s face when she did that never affected me until now. It was one of sorrow and hurt, like she was stripped of her own right as a mother.
“I love you Mom,” I muffled between huffs of catching my breath and shedding tears. It was all I could say, the only way I could apologize for being such a dipshit of a son. The only thing I could do to make her realize she was important and that I was sorry I didn’t put my faith in her, that I didn’t fight to spend more time with her.
“Sweetie, I love you so much,” she choked, squeezing me the best she could. “Don’t feel guilty for anything. We can make this better from now on, okay? No more shutting out the people you love.”
I nodded my head quickly, giving her another squeeze.
Once my tears subsided, I pulled away from her, feeling sheepish and less of a man for breaking down. She touched my cheek and gave me a warm smile, letting me know all was forgiven between the two of us.
I swallowed hard, my heart beating faster, needing to find Becca.
My mother sensed my anxiety then reached into her purse, pulling out a piece of paper. “I have a ticket to Grand Rapids. The flight leaves in an hour. Take it,” my mother said with a knowing smile. She took out a prescription bottle as well, handing it to me. “Take these too. They’ll help with your anxiety. I know a good doctor who can get you your own prescription. They’ll be a life saver,” she said sincerely.
Gratefully, I took the ticket and the pills from her hands, kissed her cheek then bolted out of my office without any of my things. They didn’t matter right now. I needed to get to Becca as soon as possible.
Chapter 19
Becca
Here I sat in my office at 10:15 p.m. at night staring at multiple sets of blueprints. I was the only one on my floor and most likely the only one in the building. Monday nights weren’t really popular when it came to working late.
I rubbed my eyes with my palms, frustrated I couldn’t find any correlation within each print. I wanted to find where the drugs were being hidden. Maybe if we could figure out a system Chino had then we could figure out how to either get rid of the drugs or tell Anderson.
I stood and stared, my palms now flat on my drafting table. I was beginning to feel so defeated, lost in my thoughts of how to fix things. Then out of nowhere, my heart started to calm, a sense of softness and caring rushed through my body, causing me to close my eyes.
Warm breath touched the back of my neck, along with a hand sliding between my waist and the hand that was flat on my desk. I looked down to find a familiar hand slipping a yellow rose with a ribbon attached on the prints I had been studying for what felt like hours.
“Hey,” Tyler’s soft and raspy voice said against my ear. I leaned back into him, craving his touch more than anything.
“I thought you were in Chicago?” I asked, the back of my head finding his chest.
“Well-” he paused, reaching for my hand and turning me to face him. His expression was different from what it had been in months. It was calm, loving, maybe even playful. “… I miss you,” he finished, swiftly wrapping his hands around my waist, pulling my body so it was flush against his.
“I miss you too,” I said quietly, my heart filling with emotion.
Bringing a hand to my cheek, he didn’t say anything, but just gazed into my eyes like he hadn’t seen me in years. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “Sorry for not being here, with you. My mind has just been…” His voice drifted as his expressions tightened on his face.
I brought my hands to his face, wanting to cradle my lost boy from any pain he had been enduring on his own. “I know, I understand. I’m here for you Ty, always,” I consoled.
His smile was warm and affectionate, melting my heart like always.
I missed that smile.
He leaned in to kiss me tenderly, his arms firmly holding me to him. It was sweet and reuniting, something I had craved for months now. I knew from that kiss that we were on the upswing, that we would get through this.
Pulling his lips from mine, he smiled then turned me back around to face my drafting table and the plans I had been getting lost in the last few hours. My eyes found the single rose, making my heart flutter as it always had whenever I saw those roses. Reminiscing about how he first made amends, his compliments, his apologies… when he told me he loved me.
“I haven’t brought you a rose in a while,” he murmured in my ear. He kissed my shoulder while lifting the rose so I could read the tag.
Let’s go away together- Ty
“Really?” I asked, a huge grin on my face as I cranked my head back to see him. His smile was infectious and wholesome.
“Yes,” he whispered into my neck, followed with a nuzzle, making me giggle. Oh, how I missed his affection! “I told you I wanted a pre-honeymoon. Besides, I have a place I want to show you, but we have to wait a few weeks. I have some important potential clients I need to hook and reel.” His mischievous Conklin grin spread across his face, and I couldn’t help but turn to kiss him. Full out hands in hair, tugging him as close to me as physically possible with clothing between us. His grin was huge as we kissed, his hands still wrapped around me, enjoying my need for him.
“Get. A. Room,” Nathan exaggerated in disgust while walking into my office.
Tyler pulled away, throwing his head back and laughing. I blushed, hiding my head in Tyler’s chest. To my surprise, Jamie walked in behind him.
My face lit up with even more happiness. “What are you doing here?” I’d seen her most of the weekend but assumed she was flying back to Miami.
She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I told you I was going to be in Grand Rapids this week. We have to finalize things with that crazy artist for ArtPrize.”
I blinked, aware I didn’t remember a lick of anything she just said. I wasn’t surprised. I was completely out of it after our over-stimulating time at Enclave.
“What are you doing here so late?” Tyler asked, bringing my body back to his. He didn’t want to let me go, and it felt comforting.
“We had a meeting,” Nathan said. “We were discussing Chino.”
Tyler’s arms tightened around me. “Yes, we need to address that situation.”
“I don’t know how to get that asshole out of here. He doesn’t seem to take no for an answer. I think we need to force our lawyer on him,” Nathan sighed, taking a seat in one of the office chairs.
“I say we find his drugs and dump them in a large body of water,” Jamie huffed while taking a seat next to him.
Nathan shook his head. “That sounds like a sure way to get ourselves killed. That man is a lunatic. I think he’s using again and a lot more than any time before. I’m shocked he didn’t pull a gun on us last Saturday.” He glared at Tyler.
“What?” Tyler said defensively. “I’m sick of his shit. You probably wouldn’t have told him we were cutting ties unless I would’ve almost lost my head.”
Nathan laughed, then leaned
forward in his chair. “Hah! Almost? Tyler you punched him in the face!”
Tyler’s cocky grin radiated throughout the room. “Yeah… I got him good didn’t I?”
Nathan rolled his eyes. “Purely unprofessional.”
“That asshole needs more than a swift punch to the face,” Tyler growled.
“I agree, but we need to fight dirty with him. Chino plays mind games. Jamie might be on to something. We find his drugs and use them against him.”
I wanted to open my mouth about Anderson’s morning visit. But I needed to talk to Tyler about that before anyone else. His head might seem better now, but he would only really listen clearly if it were just the two of us.
“How do we plan on doing that?” Jamie asked, baffled.
“Why don’t you talk to Mitch? Maybe find out some of Chino’s insights,” I said. There wasn’t a doubt in either Tyler or Nathan that Mitch was involved in some way.
Nathan shook his head. “Mitch won’t say anything. I’ve tried every aspect possible.”
“Yeah, the only way through his thick skull is through a woman,” Tyler grumbled.
I stood up straight then glanced at Tyler. He looked at me for a moment as if reading my mind then his eyes found Jamie.
Nathan watched our interaction then a small smile played on his lips. He turned to face Jamie as well, who was playing with her nails. “Yeah, too bad we don’t know any single, desirable women who could handle taking advantage of him.”
All eyes were on Jamie. As though she could feel the unsaid conversations between the three of us, she looked up, eyeing each one of us slowly.
“Oh no… don’t y’all give me that look,” she pleaded, her Florida accent thickening. “I am NOT going out with that loser.”
“Come on Jay,” Nathan said, putting his arm on the back of her chair. “I’ll give you a bonus.”
“I don’t want a fucking bonus! I’m not going out with him!”
“Jamie, we could all be in a whole heap of trouble if we don’t figure this out,” I said softly, glancing up at Tyler. His jaw was doing his nervous tick, and I reached my hand up to calm him.
