by Brooke Page
Max sighed heavily, drinking me in while biting his cheeks.
“You’re unbelievable. How can you be a drug dealer?” I asked in horror, tears filling my eyes.
“I don’t do the drugs Becca. I rarely come in contact with them.”
“So that makes it okay?” My whisper turned into more tears.
He sighed, cocking his head in my direction. “No, it doesn’t. Becca, I’ve only ever wanted to give you, your siblings, and your mom the world.”
“We didn’t need to have everything money could buy,” I whispered, tears shamelessly escaping my eyes. “All we needed was you. All those nights you were gone… you make so much money from your investments. Why not leave the bad business behind? Stop risking getting caught and thrown in jail!”
His head dipped down in shame, one hand reaching for his forehead. “Sometimes, it’s easier to stay involved than to leave, baby.”
“Does mom know?” I asked boldly, standing from my chair so he would look at me. He was still silent. Not speaking, only thinking like he always did. Finally he nodded his head.
“And she’s okay with it?”
“Your mother understands that some things can’t be changed,” he said softly.
“No,” I said, shaking my head drastically. “You can. I don’t even know who you are,” I added, fighting back the urge to cry ugly, hateful tears.
When he didn’t say anything, I knew it was time for me to turn around and leave.
I meant to walk slowly, but I stomped to his office door.
“Becca,” he said firmly, causing me to stop dead in my tracks.
I didn’t turn around, but only listened.
“Do I still get to walk you down the aisle?” he asked, emotion thick in his voice.
My eyes closed tight, all the good memories of my father flooding my brain. There were only a few, but they were strong, and I held on to them with everything I had.
We’d go golfing on Sunday afternoons together. Our rides in the cart normally quiet. I’d never forget his proud and kind brown eyes watching me, no matter what type of shot I took.
Every Christmas we’d be in charge of fixing the nativity. He’d tell me the story of Christmas, reminding me that the smallest of things can change the whole world's perspective.
The day I graduated from college. He hugged me and held me tight, telling me how proud he was that I made it through one of the hardest times in my life. Now I knew he was talking about Connor and Ashlynn’s betrayal and not getting through school.
My father’s life was consumed by always being let down, and for the longest time I thought he’d gotten the best of all those miserable people.
He was so intelligent, so giving, and caring. The amount of empathy the man had was astounding. I just didn’t understand how he could be two completely different people.
Was he a dark knight? A modern day Robin Hood? Selling drugs to the bad guys so he could feed the poor?
Would I let his other life ruin the good memories we’d created?
“Of course I want you to walk me down the aisle,” I murmured. I paused for a long second then walked out the door.
Chapter 30
Tyler
The neck of my suit felt too tight as I fidgeted with the plum tie. The wedding planner was trying to pin my boutonniere on my breast pocket. She’d already poked me twice. If I weren’t so nervous I wouldn’t have scowled at her the second time the pin dug into my skin.
“Sorry! These pins can be so difficult sometimes!” She laughed, finally putting the flower in place.
I gave her a wry smile as she scurried towards Mitch. His eyes widened as she came at him with her pins.
Mitch and I had been good the past few weeks. He was trying to grow up; at least it felt like he was. He’d come into my office a few times, asking questions about the business. Maybe he’d want to help out more with the business side than on the construction sites. Nathan was unsure Mitch could handle it, but maybe we needed to give him a chance. After all, we were all Mitch had to look up to now that RJ was gone.
RJ.
My back pocket burned as I thought of his name. There was an envelope in the RJ brick that I found on his desk with my name on it. I found one for Mitch and Nathan too. I gave it to each of them last night after the rehearsal dinner. I had no idea if either of them had opened their letter.
I still wasn’t ready, but for whatever reason, I felt I needed to have it with me today. My father wouldn’t be walking with my mother down the aisle before Becca. I would be escorting her. He wouldn’t help my mother light the unity candle. No toast would be made on his behalf. We weren’t going to have a parent dance because RJ wouldn’t be there.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I reached for my back pocket and brought the letter to the breast pocket of my suit. I’d never know if RJ would’ve come around and been a father to me, but I’d like to think that if he were here today, he’d be pouring me a drink, putting his hand on my back, and telling me he was proud of me.
And of course he’d make some inappropriate comment about our wedding night. A smile snuck up on me, and Nathan caught me in my daydream.
“You ready?” he asked, setting his hand on my back, just as I imagined RJ would have done.
I nodded my head. “Never been more ready.”
We exchanged glances then smirks.
“Ugh… you all have that same cocky grin,” Jamie groaned, barging into our room at the church.
“You know, you’re not supposed to be here,” Nathan said, failing to sound annoyed. “What if I wasn’t dressed?”
She completely ignored him and walked in my direction. “I’m making a delivery. Here.” Jamie handed me a single red rose with a note attached.
I looked down at the rose puzzled.
Jamie rolled her eyes. “It’s obviously not from me. Becca wanted me to bring it to you.”
My lip quirked. She stole my move. “How’s she doing?”
Jamie smiled. “Shockingly well.”
I gulped and nodded.
“And you?” she asked with a knowing smile.
I tilted my head to the side as I played with the envelope. “Today is the happiest day of my life… and I’ve never been more nervous,” I laughed.
“He’ll be fine,” Nathan said confidently.
“I need to get back. I want to make sure I’m there when they zip up her dress.”
My eyes lit up. I couldn’t wait to see Becca in her white dress.
“Hey Jay. Lookin’ fly,” Mitch said, wiggling his eyebrows.
Jamie audibly groaned in disgust as she walked out of the room.
“Leave her alone, Mitch,” Nathan scolded.
Mitch smirked as he checked himself out in the mirror. “She secretly loves me.”
I laughed. I’ll never know what happened that night Jamie went out with Mitch, but the satisfied grin on Mitch’s face whenever she walked into the room was obvious.
The wedding planner came back in the room, grabbing Ray and Michael to start seating guests as they arrived. Knowing people were here made this all feel real. I was pacing now. My anxiety was high but a completely different high than normal. I popped a Xanax, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.
My mother and Missy came in randomly to check on me, both of them giving me hugs and words of encouragement. The only person I hadn’t seen yet was Max Stine.
Becca didn’t talk to me about the day she confronted him. I assumed she didn’t say anything too revealing to piss Max off, otherwise I’d be six feet in the ground next to my father. Maybe one day she’d tell me what they said, but I was ready to put everything behind us.
I hoped he’d show. Even though Becca was deceived and traumatized by finding out who her father really was, I knew in her heart she’d want him here. My Becs was forgiving, and in time she’d forgive her father. For all I knew she’d already forgiven him.
Once I was finally in the room by myself, I opened Becca’s note.
I think for the first time in my life, I’m not terrified. Marrying you is the only sure decision I’ve ever made. I love you, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.
Love Always,
The future Mrs. Becca Conklin
P.S. I hope the rose brings you as much joy as every single rose you’ve ever given me.
Her note made me smile and washed away my nervous twitch.
“Tyler, it’s time for you to seat your mother and Missy,” the wedding planner said. I took one last glance in the mirror, running my hand over my neatly trimmed beard. Becca begged me to keep it, and who was I to say no? I might have trimmed it shorter than she liked, but I like to think she really enjoyed how it felt on her fingers, neck, thighs…
“Tyler! Come on, let’s stay on schedule!” I jumped from my thoughts that were going down south, giving me an extra pep in my step thinking about our wedding night and honeymoon.
I couldn’t wait to surprise Becca with where I planned on consummating our marriage.
My mother was anxiously awaiting my arrival in the foyer, along with the rest of the wedding party. Everyone except Becca and Max.
“I know I keep saying it, but you look so handsome, Tyler,” my mother gushed, putting her hands on the lapels of my jacket.
I smiled down at her, thankful she was bright and perky like usual. I was worried she might have trouble with RJ not being here to share this day with her.
“RJ would have been proud,” she whispered, nodding her head at me for reassurance.
“I know,” I said confidently.
Taking her arm, I tried to walk down the aisle without seeing the 600 and some people who were attending the wedding. I didn’t know many on a personal level besides Cooper and his family. The rest were work associates or friends of my parents and grandparents. The same went for Becca. I never liked standing in front of people; that’s why Nathan always talked at meetings.
Kissing my mother’s cheek, I went back to get Missy.
“Oh, Tyler! I’m so thrilled for you and Becca! She couldn’t have picked a better man!” she said with enthusiasm.
I tried not to laugh at her giddiness. I had to know about Max before I started to walk her to her seat. “Max is here, right? I haven’t seen him all day.”
“Of course he is! Max wouldn’t miss today. He loves Becca more than anything in this world,” Missy said as we began moving down the aisle.
I knew Max loved his daughter. I had a knick from a bullet on my arm to prove it.
“Don’t worry about Max, Tyler. I promise he’s a good man,” she murmured as she smiled at everyone in the church.
I knew she was talking about our run in at the Arena. Max and Missy shared everything.
I nodded my head as I ushered her to her seat.
Once she was in her seat, I began to walk back towards the lobby.
Josie ran towards me, leaping into my arms once I passed the threshold of the sanctuary.
“Uncle Tyler! Auntie B looks so pretty!” She giggled.
“Just as pretty as you I bet,” I smiled, kissing her cheek. She giggled again then squirmed to get down, finding Heather holding Emmett. Becca was hoping he’d be ready to walk down the aisle, but he was still too little. So instead, he’d be sitting with Roger, the Stine’s butler who was more like an uncle, and next to Becca’s parents.
The pastor patted me on the back, his gesture for me to follow him. This was it; I was going to see my bride. This was the moment I had fantasized about for so long. I anxiously waited, trying not to fidget as I watched the bridal party walk down. Both Jamie and Heather looked beautiful. My brothers didn’t look too bad themselves.
Josie received a room full of awes as she threw plum rose petals on the white aisle runner. She was super cute. So cute I forgot about the time she threw up on me.
My heart started to race once Josie made her way to Missy in the front row. I tried to stand still and not twitch while I waited to see her. My palms were starting to sweat along with my forehead. I dabbed my forehead with my palm, not wanting to look sweaty for my beautiful bride.
A song started to play, and I cocked my head when I listened, trying to figure out which one it was. My heart thudded even faster as I realized it was our song. The song I was going to surprise her with as our first dance. The song I sang in her ear at the Valentine’s Day party, telling her every single beat of my heart was hers to keep, that she was the one who always pulls us through. That had never been truer these past few months. She’s the reason why I’m still breathing and why I finally feel safe.
Then, like a goddess, she moved into my vision.
The sight of her was even more intoxicating than I’d imagined. My chest rose as my breath was taken away by her beauty.
Her dress was stunning, showing off those curves that I loved. It was as if she were floating like an angel towards me, her baby blue eyes shining brighter and brighter the closer she came. Her light brown hair was curled elegantly, falling down her shoulders and just above the small amount of cleavage of her breasts. Her flawless smile captured my heart, and it took everything in me to not meet her halfway, scoop her in my arms and call her mine forever.
My eyes were wet, but I didn’t care. Tears of joy were allowed for my Becs. I barely looked at Max as he handed his daughter over to me. He gave me a loving smile, one that I actually believed. Maybe I was just seeing love everywhere. Becca’s image burned in my mind.
I reached for her hands. They were trembling from anticipation and excitement. Her eyes were glistening like mine as she whispered, “Hi.”
I mouthed hi back as well, but only because I was choking back my emotion.
Men don’t get to experience their dreams in a lifetime.
Becca was my dream.
My Becs.
Forever and Always.
Epilogue
Becca
“We’re home, baby doll,” Tyler said gently as he pulled the Lexus in the garage.
I stretched my arms, feeling groggy from our long few days of traveling. It was nearly 1:00 a.m., and our families were coming over at 11:00 a.m. bringing brunch and all the gifts from the wedding.
Even my father was taking another Saturday off to join in on the fun. I still had my reservations about him, but was trying to put his double life behind me. He was still my father, provided for me and offered guidance my whole life, even if he were a complete hypocrite.
Our father-daughter dance was fortunately not as awkward as I thought it was going to be. I was too high from marrying the man of my dreams to have any doubts or negative feelings.
Max was teary eyed and emotional which helped to make him seem to have a heart. I was glad the side of the man I knew my whole life showed up for my wedding, not the terrifying monster who was at the Arena.
My body felt heavy as I stepped out of the car, but I was quickly lifted off my feet, curling myself into Tyler’s chest. He rubbed his nose with mine, giving me sweet Eskimo kisses, causing me to giggle.
“Why aren’t we going in through the garage?” I asked sleepily as Tyler carried me through the lighted path to the front door.
“I have to carry you across the threshold. Marriage tradition,” he said as a matter of fact.
I wanted to roll my eyes but refrained. He was eating every bit of this marriage up, and it was adorable and very unlike Tyler.
I loved every second of his traditional attitude.
The lights inside slowly started to dim on as Tyler impressively finished putting in the code with one hand. “Welcome home, Mrs. Conklin,” Tyler’s deep voice said as he nudged the door open with his elbow.
My cheeks heated as he called me Mrs. Conklin. I was really his, branded with his name.
I began to squirm, expecting him to put me down, but his grip tightened. “I can walk now. I’m sure after all that island food I’m at least fifteen pounds heavier,” I grumbled.
Tyler ignored my request, walking s
traight towards our bedroom. “I’ll set you down once I pass the most important threshold. Our bedroom,” he said, his voice turning sultry. “Besides, you saying I can’t handle another fifteen pounds is offensive.”
I smacked his chest playfully, enjoying seeing his ever-famous Conklin grin slowly spread across his face.
Finally making our way to the bedroom, Tyler laid me down gently, his body covering mine.
Bringing my hands to his cheeks, I pulled him in for a sweet and tender kiss.
When we pulled apart, Tyler looked into my eyes filled with love and desire. “You’re not too tired to relive our wedding night, are you?” Tyler’s mischievous grin made me melt, and my sleepiness from earlier evaporated.
“I guess I could muster enough strength for that. As long as we can relive some honeymoon sex later this week,” I flirted.
Tyler’s eyes smoldered into mine as his grin grew wider.
“You can count on that for the rest of our lives, baby doll.”
***
After our family brunch, we opened all the extravagant gifts from the mile long list of guests. Overly priced crystal vases and glasses that we would hardly ever use were piled in our living room. The gifts I enjoyed the most were, per my request, the envelopes holding cards with donations to the Conklin’s fund for building shelters and low-income housing. I was extremely grateful for everything but guilty in return.
Over our honeymoon, Tyler and I discussed revamping the shelters and low-income housing project. I couldn’t wait to start giving back. We both agreed any wedding checks that were made out to us would automatically go into that fund. We didn’t need any more money. We were fortunate enough as it was.
After every present and envelope were opened, everyone scurried in different directions. My father and brothers went down to the cigar cellar, while our mothers, Heather and the kids went into the kitchen. Nathan, Mitch, and Tyler escaped to the deck. Probably discussing work. Tyler and I had been gone for three weeks. Of course he still had a few conference calls, but I made sure to be a very big distraction. A welcomed one at that.
