I helped Nana up into the passenger seat then hopped in the back seat. I'm embarrassed to say I sat in the middle so that I could see Katie's profile and watch her eyes in the rear-view mirror. Then we headed off to the south in a somber silence.
We arrived at the VA Tahoma National Cemetery down in Kent, I looked at the directions, and had Katie navigate to the in-ground cremation garden. It was hard to find a place to park along the lanes. When we stopped, I took two deep breaths then stepped out. I put my cover on my head and opened the door for Nama and helped her out.
I had to pause when I looked over to the gardens. There were over a hundred people there. My God. Dad had touched so many lives. Nana took my right arm and Katie took my left and I ushered the women to the a small row of chairs that was set up in the front of the gathered people that were reserved for family.
I stared at them, all empty. Nana and I were it. No, Dad had a bigger family than this, they didn't need to be related by blood. I sat the girls down then excused myself and located Iris, Ren, and Joe. “What the hell are you people doing?”
They blinked at my terse greeting. I pointed back at the chairs. “Family up front.” Then I spun and walked off grinning at the looks on their faces. I realized my mistake as soon as I turned. People started gathering around me, talking to me about Dad and giving condolences. I felt obligated to circulate through the crowd.
I had this odd cold, dead space inside me where my heart was supposed to be. I knew what I was supposed to be feeling at my father's funeral, but I couldn't feel anything. Again I wondered if I had lost any humanity I had left when the man I most respected had died.
I rejoined my... family, at the chairs. I shared a smile with my pseudo aunt and uncles then sat stock still when I felt Katie's hands on my arm as I tried to process the reason we were here. I knew that he was dead, but it was as if a tiny part of me was expecting this all to be some sort of sick joke, and Dad would step out at any minute.
The honor guard started walking and we stood. I stood at attention as they marched up to the recessed cylinder in the ground. My eyes darted around, there should only be two... were too many. I stopped breathing as I realized that this was a full honor guard. My mind raced but then realized that the Chief must have called ahead and pulled some strings.
I saluted as the guns fired the volley. I don't think I was breathing or able to take a breath as a bugler played taps. I fought hard to stop them, when something inside of me finally snapped, but silent tears flowed down my cheeks as I stood in salute.
I stood numbly as the flag was folded and presented to me. I swallowed hard but then Katie put her hands in the crook of my arm and I allowed myself to try to breathe normally. The canister of my father's ashes was slid into the marble grave marker with Dad's name on it. My eyes just stayed on the born and died dates engraved there. I tuned and held Nana as her tears came. There seemed to be some sort of finality there. Now I couldn't deny the fact that Dad was no longer with us.
When it was over and we were on the road again, nobody spoke. When we hit Seattle and pulled into her driveway, my grandmother seemed to exhale then said without looking at us, “I think I need a drink Kenzie girl.” I smiled sadly. So did I. I remembered Dad talking about a place he was fond of whenever he was in Seattle between tours of the show. It was a country bar he and the crew enjoyed. I never understood Dad's like of country music, but then again, modern country music sounds more pop than pop music lately. I asked to nobody in particular, “The Bucking Chute?”
Katie nodded and mumbled, “I know the place,” She pulled back out into traffic and turned us toward downtown. Our somber mood was interrupted when we stepped into the huge bar. It was like stepping into a giant party. People were cheering and laughing as a live country band played on a stage by a dance-floor. Some people by the bar turned toward the door and then a cheer sounded out.
I blinked, it was Iris, Ren, and Joe with a group of people in more denim and flannel than I have seen in one place. Iris motored over as more cheers circulated around the bar. “What a surprise, you're all just in time for the celebration!” She put an arm around Nana's shoulder and started ushering her to a table by the bar. My almost-uncles stood and joined us and people packed around the table as we all sat.
I looked around and then at Iris, “What celebration?” She grinned and pulled an envelope out of her pocket that was wrinkled and worn, and slid it over to me. I stopped breathing as I realized it was the same kind of envelope that Kincade handed me.
She grinned. “Just following orders. Your father demanded that if he ever passed that we do not mourn, he wanted a party, a celebration of his life. That's who he is... was. I'll be damned if I don't follow boss' last order.”
I looked at the envelope and just grinned, that sounded like Dad alright. I handed it back to her without looking inside as she waved her hands at the crowd around us. “All of these people are here for the party. George touched each of their lives in some way.” She paused. “We weren't sure if you were up to it so we didn't let you know.” Then she added a squint eyed, “Sorry?”
Then she grinned, stood, and whistled a shrill whistle that almost made my ears bleed like only aunt Iris could do. The bar quieted down and the band stopped playing. She pointed down at me as she yelled, “George's little girl everyone! And a bon-o-fied American hero to boot!”
Everyone cheered and the party started back up as the band kicked in again. We spent hours listening to story after story being told about the amazing things, and stupid things, and possibly exaggerated antics that Dad was involved with. To my surprise, I was having a great time and caught myself laughing at some of the stories.
I learned some valuable information that night about my grandmother. Man could she drink, and dance! She had been with grandpa for almost thirty years before he died when I was really young. It still shocked me when she walked up to us after a dance on the arm of a man about twenty years younger than her, and she cupped a hand to my ear. “I'll find my own way home Kenz.” She winked at the sixty-year-old rugged cowboy looking man and added, “Don't wait up.” Then she grinned and was gone.
I couldn't stop my shocked smile as I uttered a disbelieving, “Oh my god, Nana!” I blushed for her and then realized the sad fact that my seventy-five year old Nana had more game than me. Just then, Katie almost yanked my arm out of its socket yelling, “Dance with me soldier girl!” I paled. Dance? Shit.
I must have looked like a God damned moose in a skirt the way I clomped around to the music with an angel floating gracefully around me. She had me mesmerized and I found myself having a great time in spite of my seven left feet. The lead singer caught my eye and he had a wicked gleam in his eye. The next song was a slow one. Katie didn't let me retreat, she just laid her head on my chest with her arms draped over my hips. I just held her and swayed to the music and melted into her. I think I owe that singer a beer.
I was a little tipsy when last call rang out, and we were on the dance floor again. Katie had a warm blush going on. “You ok to drive?” I asked. She just grinned up at me and tilted her head way too cutely then shook it. I leaned down and gave her a feather light kiss then said, “A cab it is then.”
She held her hand above her head, clasping my hand, and dragged me off the dance floor toward the doors. She looked back over her shoulder demurely. “My place sugar?” Causing warmth to spread though me and I had to bite my lower lip as I nodded.
There whoops, hollers and clapping from over where the remnants of our group was. I looked back in an embarrassed apology to Iris and the crew as they cheered us. They were all grins and raised their bottles to us as I was pulled through the doors out into the crisp night air. I was debating on whether I was more embarrassed or turned on at the time. Katie on her tip toes laying a passionate kiss on me decided it for me.
The cab ride was a blur, I only had eyes for her. I treasured her giggle when I pinned her to her door after we got into her apartment and whispered as I stared
hungrily at her inviting lips, “Valkyrie One, target in sight.”
Chapter 9 – Return to Base
There is nothing like the walk of shame when it is shared by two. When I got home the next morning with my dress uniform in disarray and walking a little funny Nana Z just shuffled over to me from the kitchen in a similar state of disarray and handed me a cup of coffee. We didn't meet each other's eyes, but we shared a grin and sat to watch the morning news as we drank our hot caffeine in a silent agreement to never speak of this.
At one point, Nana giggled and I threw a pillow at her. I grinned and finally looked at her and stood. “I have to get cleaned up and into some real clothes.” She just nodded and headed for her own room.
I swear that Katie and I spent every moment of my leave together after that. I felt seventeen again, like I was in my first relationship. It was so exciting and scary. She helped me get Dad's estate in order. I was debating on whether to sell the house or not. I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was my Dad's. So I arranged for a maintenance company to see to the upkeep for the last two years of my service, and Katie said she'd help out.
I couldn't believe how much fun she was to be around, and her sarcastic humor always had me grinning. She dragged me to one of her family meals and her mother was a hoot of a southern belle. Her father had his evil eye on me the whole time, I was expecting the “What are your intentions with my daughter,” speech at any moment, in his pronounced southern drawl. Or that he'd pull out his guns and start cleaning them in the living room to intimidate me. No doubt the man loved his daughter. My toes kept curling the whole meal as Katie's southern accent was let out to play like a kitten with a ball of yarn.
We had gone out riding, I had to give Starfire at least one good workout while I was there. Katie was giggly and impressed with all the tricks that my filly could do and with our trick riding. Even though I was a little rusty, it brought back so many happy memories of the Wild West Extravaganza. I had contacted Fran with Valentine's and got them to board her while I was deployed so I didn't burden Iris with it. They wouldn't take any money from me for her upkeep.
Then before I knew it, I had to ship back out. I had never taken leave willingly before, and when it was forced on me I usually stayed on base, but for the first time ever, I was sad it was over. Katie sat on my bed cross legged, thumbing through my scrapbook as I packed my duffle and took the plastic bag off my dry-cleaned dress uniform and stuffed it back into its garment bag.
Katie raised a disapproving eyebrow when I took off the medals and callously threw them into my duffle bag with my underwear. “Why do you do that? They mean something you know.”
I paused and looked at her. “Yeah, they mean I fucked... ummm sorry... I screwed up and got people hurt or worse and was lucky enough to survive my own mistakes. Then the Army goes and gives me medals for my stupidity?”
She grinned at my attempt at not cussing, she's made progress there, but then frowned and sighed. She reached out and lightly backhanded my gut. “They are a symbol to inspire others. And what did I tell you about the negative Nancy crap soldier girl? It puts frown lines on my girlfriend.” She stood and stopped me from packing, grabbing both of may hands and placing them on her hips.
I grinned at her, and she raised a hand to my head, and brushed her fingers over the chocolate brownish stubble. Hmmm... I'd have to shave it off when I got back to base. She said almost wistfully, “Brunette? It's such a pretty color. Shame you don't grow it out.” Ok, so shaving it is out. Hey! Don't look at me like that, I'm not whipped. I just like making her smile.
Wait! I shook myself out of my thoughts. Did she just call me her girlfriend? A wave of heat spread out through me from my core. I leaned down and kissed her. Then scooped her up like a rag-doll and deposited her unceremoniously on the bed as I turned back to packing. Her smoky chuckle kept the grin on my face.
She picked up the scrapbook again and turned to a page near the end then asked, “Do you ever think about her. I mean, like, wonder what she's doing now or what kind of woman she became?”
I looked at the photo of Monica and me in our graduation gowns then shrugged. “I dunno, sometimes I guess. She was my first love. I don't blame her or hold any malice over her decision to dump my ass... umm, butt. I just wish it hadn't of been in a letter. But she's not a bad person so I'm sure she's done just fine for herself.”
She closed the book and put it back on the nightstand then hopped up and wrapped her arms around me. I dropped my duffel, she was much more fun to hold than it was. She looked up into my eyes, hers were sparkling and she smiled and kissed me gently and said, “She'd be kickin' herself soundly now, seeing the spectacular woman you have become. Her loss is my gain.”
I grinned at her and she looked down to where the envelope in the pocket of my BDUs crinkled. She turned us and maneuvered me back and pushed me down on the bed and disengaged to sit beside me. She nudged her eyes down. “You gotta open it sometime.”
I looked at her long and hard then down at the envelope. I took a breath and held it then closed my eyes and exhaled and pulled the envelope out. I opened my eyes and looked at it for a moment. The only thing written on the envelope was simply, “Kenzie Girl” in my father's clumsy block handwriting.
I carefully opened it so I didn't damage the envelope too much and pulled out a letter. It was wrapped around a small parcel of papers or something wrapped in a large handkerchief that I recognized. I had seen the flowery thing, with its embroidered lilacs, once when I was younger. Dad had said it was Mom's.
I looked at the letter, again in Dad's handwriting. “God's greatest gift to me. I love you so much McKenzie and am so very proud to have had you as my daughter. I've always watched over you and always will, now my vantage point is just going to be from a lot higher up. Dad” I was tearing up. I folded the letter and stuffed it back in the envelope and just sat there breathing. Katie looked at me then the handkerchief and reached over and took it from me and unfolded it.
Inside was a stack of news clippings. She smiled up at me as she sifted through them. All news articles about me, and the things I had accomplished as a soldier, and some of my shame. I had no clue that so much had been written about me. Why was the media following me? I'm just a soldier. The last article was two years ago. That's about when Dad's will had been revised. He must have put this letter in with it then.
I took two shuddering breaths and steeled myself. I took the oversize handkerchief and stuffed it into my pocket, then took the clippings from Katie, who was just watching me. I stuffed them into the envelope then leaned over and put the envelope in the back of the scrapbook.
I wiped my wet cheeks on my sleeve then smiled at my girl. “Well, there's no time like the present I s'pose.” We stood and I grabbed the garment bag then Katie bent to grab my duffel before I could. She strained a bit with both hands and grinned. I rolled my eyes at her and grabbed the sling on it and just threw it over my shoulder with one hand.
She bit her lower lip and grabbed my arm around my right biceps as I led her out to the living room. She gave a little squeeze and I tried to hide my grin. She had confirmed my suspicions about having a thing about my muscles a few days back. She had said, “Normally I don't like the look of muscles on a woman, but on you...” She fanned her face. “...oh mah God sugar!”
We stopped in front of Nana. I dug some keys out of my pocket. “These are for Crystal's car. Tell her the loan was much appreciated.” She nodded. I remembered something. I squatted as I said, “Oh! This is for you, I know it is a couple days early but, happy birthday Nana. Love you.” I unzipped my duffel and pulled out a small wrapped box that contained the scarf I had bought for her in Chad.
She looked at the box and gave me a hug. “Love you too Kenzie girl. Thank you.” Then she added, “I am so glad you came home after so long. I wish it were under happier circumstances. You should come home more often.”
Katie chimed in, “Oh I'm hoping I can entice soldier girl here to visit often
.”
I blushed in embarrassment, but she was probably right. I couldn't get enough of the woman, and her eyes always showed me she always means what she says, the eyes never lie.
I engulfed my grandmother in a bear hug and dangled her feet off the ground. “I'm going to miss you Nana.” I set her down and she grinned, “I'll miss you too. Now you better get going or you will miss your flight.” I nodded with a sad smile. She chuckled and said, “And I have to get to the Pike to see what that young boy has done to my eatery in my absence.” We all chuckled and I shook my head. She was calling a fifty-year-old man a young boy.
I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and Katie led me out to her car. Nana stood in the doorway and waved as we drove off. There was a long silence before I noticed I was getting a sidelong expectant glare from my sexy chauffeur. “Whaaaat?” I whined.
This got a half smile from her she tried to hide. Then she said, “I'm serious lady. You are going to spend you next leave here right?”
I shrugged, fighting off a smile of my own. “Dunno.”
She backhanded my arm. “Kenz!”
I grasped her hand and laced our fingers as I turned back to look out the windshield while trying to suppress a chuckle. “No place I'd rather be Valkyrie One.” A self-satisfied smiled spread across her face and we drove the forty miles south of Seattle to Joint Base Lewis–McChord in a comfortable silence, just soaking each other's presence in, holding hands.
I had procured a Space-A seat on a C-17 to DC for the first leg of my journey back to base. They had a group of Marines hitching a ride but had a seat open in the cargo hold. I guess I can suffer through sharing with some jarheads. I grinned at my inner voice.
We showed our ID at the gates and we drove onto the huge air wing base. She parked us at the passenger terminal and we got out. I collected my gear and set it on the asphalt as she stepped up to me. God, why did this feel like the day I said goodbye to Monica when I went into Basic?
Dead Shot Page 8
