I have no idea what the sign for ‘stay in here’ is so I point to the bed and mouth ‘stay.’
I close the door and bang my head against it. Because not only did I insult her with my first comment, I did it again by telling her to stay like she was a fucking dog.
I’m going to hell.
To make up for being the biggest asshole in the morning, I cook Luna breakfast.
I vow to myself that I’ll never be so stupid again.
I break that vow when I knock on her door, signaling that I’m coming in.
Why are you so stupid, man? She still can’t hear you.
I don’t hear an invitation, and I’m honestly kind of scared to walk in. MacKay said that Luna keeps the door closed so we know when she’s naked or not in the mood to come out. I don’t know if she stripped her clothes off while I was downstairs.
I step back until I can peer into MacKay’s room. His ass is finally covered but he’s still knocked out cold.
I adjust the breakfast tray in my hands and man up. She’s got tits, no big deal, they’re nothing I haven’t already seen before.
I twist the doorknob and crack the door open slowly. Her room comes into view with every inch, Luna nowhere in sight.
I lean forward and stick my head in through the crack.
I find her standing by her dresser, digging through a drawer. She’s clothed, thank god.
I set the tray down on the table by her bed and move my legs in her direction. I tap her on the shoulder. She turns around slowly, eyes cautious, and I sign, Breakfast. Well, the YouTube video I replayed over and over again while brewing the coffee states that I just said, ‘eat-morning’ but she’ll understand what I’m trying to say. This way is how some instructors teach their students.
Luna looks down at my hands, confused. Her eyes flick up and a look of wonder passes them.
I surprised her.
I finally feel somewhat better for everything I did and said earlier.
She looks toward her bed and her lips kick up into a smile. “Thank you,” she says, looking unsure.
I nod, and her eyes drop. Mine follow.
I did not put pants on and I do not give no fucks. She woke me up and my boxers were the only thing I could grab. So what if they’re red, The Flash printed on the waistband with the emblem right on my dick.
Luna shakes her head and goes to her bed, taking something off the nightstand. I see her tilt her head while she adjusts something on both of her ears. As Luna puts it, she ‘has put her ears on.’ She winces and rubs her forehead then seems to get over whatever just happened.
“You would rock Deadpool boxers. You seem like you’d enjoy posing like him.”
I smirk thinking back to when I actually did pose like Ryan Reynolds in his Deadpool suit. I couldn’t help it, I have the boxers. And I was standing in front of a mirror.
“You already do that, don’t you?” she asks, sitting down on the bed, bringing the breakfast tray onto her lap. She looks up when I don’t answer. I shrug because some guys just need to have secrets about what they do in private. “Do you want to share? You didn’t have to make me breakfast. I just wanted coffee.”
“No, it’s for you. Enjoy.” Please. Eat it and let me forget about this morning.
Luna stares down at the food while I stand here like some creep.
I should probably go back to bed and sleep for a few more hours because it’s my last free day before Monday starts.
“Well, I–”
“Hey, Phoenix–”
We talk over the other and that seems to make Luna laugh. “Sorry.” She lifts the fork and stabs the eggs on the plate.
“What were you going to say?”
She stabs it again and says, “It means a lot that you signed.” She doesn’t look up and that makes me want to move closer. I’ve noticed that she’s always looking down. She hides within herself yet dresses like she welcomes the attention. Her own name fits her; like the moon, a part of her is always hiding. I stop walking when her eyes lock on mine. “And I really hate eggs.”
“Really?”
She crinkles her nose and nods. “So…do you want to share? I can eat the orange slices and strawberries.” Luna sits there with this unreadable expression on her face. “Everything looks so perfect, I don’t want to ruin it.”
I glance at the plate and smile at the creation I made. The eggs are my favorite, which I thought would be nice to share, but next time I know they’re a no-go. I buttered the toast, and the fruit is arranged in a way that Margo would be proud of. Her and her Instagram food pictures.
“You literally just wanted coffee.”
Luna nods with a smile forming on her lips. For some reason, I can’t stop staring at her mouth. She doesn’t smile around people. MacKay and his family are the only exception.
“After I took some aspirin, that’s all I wanted.”
“Did you fall?”
“Eh, I collided into the wall. I’m fine.”
She picks up a strawberry and bites into it. “Well, I was going to start Daredevil…you’re more than welcome to join me.”
“The show?” She nods. “On Netflix?” She nods again. “It’s out?!” Where the hell have I been? MacKay keeps me updated on these kinds of things and he hasn’t said shit. All three of us are obsessed with Marvel and DC comics. It’s how Mackenzie and I became friends.
Luna laughs softly, covering her mouth with her hand. “Came out the eighteenth. Mac already watched it and is dying to spoil it for me. That asshole.”
“That fucker.”
Luna taps the empty side of the bed, inviting me.
“You want me in there like this?” I point out the fact that I’m still in boxers.
“You can be naked for all I care. Get in.” A blush creeps up her neck, which she knows is there because she looks off to the side, embarrassed.
Her confession at the bar yesterday comes to mind. She asked if I would sleep with her, and hell yes I would, any man would, it’s just, she asked. She asked because she’s not confident enough in herself that someone, anyone, would go for someone like her. She sees her deafness as a problem when in reality it makes her stand out more than she already does. Which is a good thing.
“Hey, Luna,” I start, walking to the empty side of her bed. I get in and lock eyes on hers. “You know you’re beautiful, right?”
Her eyes never stray from mine. I wait for an acknowledgement because I really want her to know this. People messed up her head with fucking lies. Hell, even her family did. I bet they made her feel like shit ever since the day she became deaf. Like she had a choice in the matter.
MacKay talks about Luna like she is his moon, no pun intended. She’s the light keeping his world from a blackout after the sun sets. He loves her but he’s not in love with her. Not anymore. Whatever they share though, it helps her. He makes her feel normal when everybody else makes her feel strange.
Having Luna live here, getting to know her little by little, makes me want to help her too. She sees nothing but the bad when she looks in the mirror. Years of hurtful words, abandonment, and guilt plague her.
I want to help MacKay bring the Luna he knows out into the world. Because the stories I’ve heard, there is a strong woman waiting to be released from the shackles that hold her back.
“You asked me if I’d sleep with you,” I mention.
Luna tears her eyes away quickly and focuses on the plate of food.
“Any man would be lucky to have you.” In their bed or in their arms.
Damn, I’d be lucky. I just need to get to know her more if I want to pursue the idea of being with her. Luna isn’t just some random girl, she fucking lives with me. She’s MacKay’s best friend. I have to be smart about this. I need to know what the fuck I’m doing.
See, I’m more of a relationship type of man. I never really did the whole ‘fuck buddies’ thing so it’s hard for me to put aside my emotions. But if the time comes, I can most definitely try. I just like havin
g someone I know I can call and text, hang out with or just think about when I’m having a shitty day or one of the best days of my life. I like talking to a person who enjoys having me around. Even if the relationship is short or ends before it starts, I give it a shot because you never know who will be it for you.
Isn’t that what everyone looks for? The one.
So far, none of my exes have gotten that close to be considered the one but hey, I’m still young and I’ve got time to explore.
Damn, I’m starting to get off track. No one mentioned anything about fuck buddies or relationships. Focus, man.
I reach for Luna’s laptop at the foot of her bed and hand it to her to put in the password. We don’t exchange words as I set up Netflix. But I look at her from the corner of my eye as I eat the eggs, and I see the corners of her mouth curl up in a barely there smile.
My new vow is to keep that smile from ever disappearing because it does something to me. Something I’ve never felt before with anyone.
Chapter Eight
Luna
Phoenix leaves my room after we watch a few Daredevil episodes. I think I made him feel a little uncomfortable by knocking and rubbing my knee against his leg every few seconds. It’s not entirely my fault. We had my laptop on both of our laps and I needed to shift into a comfortable spot. Multiple times. Okay, I’ll admit I touched him a few times, too. And I may or may not have brushed my knuckles over his junk while I was adjusting my laptop on his side so it wouldn’t tip over.
When I leave my hiding spot, I head downstairs and join Mac in the kitchen. He looks up at me with a shit-eating grin as he stuffs something into an Easter goodies bag full of pastel colored tissue paper sitting on the kitchen island.
“I see I was officially replaced.” I roll my eyes at his comment. Phoenix just kept me company because the both of us haven’t seen the new season. “I got you something so you don’t kick me to the curb.”
I throw in a wink because he knows I’ll never leave him, but I love screwing with him.
I hop onto a barstool, eyeing the goodie bag. “I didn’t get you anything.”
“Because you’re broke. And I don’t need anything. I’m getting all the sex I want, I’m good-looking, and I get to spend my day with you. It’s like Christmas all-year-round.”
“You’re so conceited.”
Mac raises an eyebrow and points at his face, moving his hand down his body. “I’m just stating what I’m told.”
I reach out and poke his stomach, hard. He doubles over and whacks my hand away.
“Yeah, yeah. So, what’s in the bag?”
Mac slides it over to me and comes to stand by my side. “It’s–”
“Dude, did you really just steal my chocolate and pass it off to Luna?” Phoenix comes to my other side, dressed only in black sweats, and peers into the bag, my bag, ruffling through the tissue paper. “Why the fuck is there a bag of dicks in here.” He reaches a hand in and pulls out a bag of gummies. “Literally, a bag of dicks.”
“Mac got this for me,” I answer, sliding the bag to my chest so he can stop digging inside of it. I want to be surprised! I also love gummy dicks!!
“Thanks, dipshit.” Mac snatches the bag of dicks from Phoenix’s hand and puts it back in the goodie bag. “Yours is over there.” Mac points to the counter behind us where a goodie bag sits split open, chocolate falling out from the sides. “I was looking for a Twix when it tore. I didn’t have time to fix it.” He shrugs and nudges my shoulder. “Back to this. Look inside.” Mac clasps his hands together and tries to hide the creeper smile he has going on.
I dig inside my bag with flushed cheeks because Mac seriously just got me a goodie bag full of dick-like candies. Aside from the bag of gummy dicks, he got me a 6-inch jumbo dick lollipop, a candy necklace full of candy dicks, and a cum-shot liquid marshmallow dick candy.
I look up at him, blushing. “Jesus, are you trying to tell me I need dick in my life?” Because, yes, I do. I have yet to satisfy my needs. My fingers can only do so much. It doesn’t help that I keep thinking about my hot roommate either.
“You get like super horny when it’s that time of the month. Thought I’d give you some food to obsess over instead of actual cocks.”
I break out into a laugh because what the hell? Only Mac would know when it’s Aunt Flo’s time to visit. Which is today. He’s getting prepared for the horny, snapping bitch that will take over my body in a matter of time.
“Thank you. I love it.”
I stick everything back in the bag and fan my face when I realize that I’m kind of squirming in my seat. It doesn’t help when I look up and find Phoenix staring down at me with a puzzled expression.
“Why don’t you two just have sex?” he asks.
“It’s complicated,” both of us answer.
We decided after we broke things off before he headed to college that we should never sleep with each other again. Mackenzie cares too much, I don’t care enough. I love him but…he’s just my best friend. He makes me happy. He’s a part of me. My soulmate. Some people hear that and think, “Then why aren’t you two together?” Soulmates don’t have to be the person you marry or fall deeply in love with. It’s something a person has that connects to you. And Mac is it for me.
A person can have more than one soulmate. I just never found another one.
“You want to have sex, but not with Mackenzie. Are you sure? Because you change your mind a lot.”
I nod my head. “People would think I’m a pervert if they read my mind.”
Mac nods along with me. “It’s always the quiet ones, man. She’s a fucking freak.”
I whack Mac’s stomach and give him a pointed look to shut his face. “So,” I brush loose hair behind my ear and glance at Phoenix’s chocolate on the counter. “Do you two always give chocolate to each other on Easter?” This is news to me.
“MacKay made me do a calendar shoot with him last year for charity so to make up for that embarrassing moment, he gives me chocolate. I think he just wants my cock but you know, I don’t go that way.” Phoenix leans in a little closer, holding my eyes as if to say, ‘I stick to your kind.’
Having his breath on the side of my neck makes a chill run down my spine. It makes me want to arch my back and purr. I know, what the fuck?
“Ohmygod, I never showed it to you?!” Mac smacks his forehead then reaches into the pocket of his basketball shorts. He brings out his phone and starts moving his thumb in all directions. He chuckles then brings the phone up so I can see a picture. And holy shit, I snatch his phone out of his hands with lighting speed and bring it closer because it’s a picture of two naked men (their faces are cut out of the picture) with their asses colored and professionally decorated as Easter eggs.
“What. The. Fuck.” I look up at Mac but he proves useless to me with his belly-laughing. I turn toward Phoenix for some explaining. “This is you?” He nods. “Why?”
“Some chicks we met were making a calendar and bribed us into being Mr. March. We would have been April but Easter was pushed up a few weeks this year. Mackenzie was all for it.”
“What did they bribe you with? A blow job?” I look at the picture again, homing in on how hot these two look. Their bodies are like art, a fucking masterpiece, with bulging muscles and hard lines. They look as ripped as athletes. They look like sex. Hot, rough, bone trembling sex.
“Uh…yeah,” Phoenix confesses, shifting onto his other foot, looking like a fourteen-year-old boy who just got caught jerking it to his first naked lady poster.
I’ve never had a threesome but this picture makes me question it. And now I’m visualizing all the things we could do. “Damn, looking at this, I would gladly volunteer to get Eiffel Towered,” I whisper to myself. See, pervert.
The stool beside me scrapes against the tile, making me look up. Phoenix stands there, gripping the granite countertop, wide-eyed and open mouthed.
Mac turns my head toward him, squeezing my cheeks together.
&nb
sp; “You heard me, didn’t you?” I mumble.
“Saying shit like that is why you’re my best friend.”
“I’m going to go hide now.”
I take my bag, steal some chocolate from Phoenix’s bag, and run upstairs, throwing myself onto my bed, welcoming the feeling of solitude underneath my blanket.
***
The last couple of days have been…interesting. I notice that when I’m in the basement with my pottery, either Mac or Phoenix will come down and stay with me for a few minutes, asking me about my day. They would usually leave me alone so I can have me time, but that ship has sailed. Mac feels the need to compliment me on every outfit I wear. He even tells me about Noland’s sexual feelings toward me when I ask why he hasn’t come over yet.
Phoenix asks me about school and when I plan on finishing my last year. I say I don’t want to talk about it. He talks about his sisters, about how they’d love to see more of me. Apparently, my bluntness was appealing.
Both men go the extra mile and try to get me out of the house today because it’s a beautiful Saturday night. They tried yesterday but I used April Fool’s Day as my excuse for bailing on them.
Phoenix invites me to go to Club Therapy with him while Mac plans another Tinder date, which I agree to. I’ve been holed up too long and I need to dance. They open at midnight, which gives me plenty of time to get ready, and then we head over. I turn my ears off because of the very loud music but I can feel it thumping throughout my body. I love clubs because of this effect. When I’m around extremely loud music, I feel normal. Being deaf is nowhere on my mind when I can feel the music, see the people moving their bodies or snapping pictures on their phone, and smell every scent in the room. It’s intoxicating.
I don’t even think of heading toward the bottles of booze lining the mirrored wall behind the bar; dancing with Phoenix has me feeling drunk enough.
Phoenix has gotten too comfortable around me this past week; he’s always touching me. Constantly looking at me like he’s a predator and I’m his prey. Those looks are intense; my kind of foreplay.
A Sky Full of Secrets Page 7
