by Tonya Kappes
“No. You’ve done enough damage,” I groaned.
Poor Fifi. I grabbed her leash away from Timmy. He ran off hysterically crying towards Ty, who was now making his way over to us.
I grabbed Fifi and darted off to the camper, not without noticing Norman Pettleman shaking his head in disapproval. The entire way over, I prayed and prayed real hard. Please, God. I’m begging. Please don’t let Fifi be pregnant with Rosco’s babies. Tammy Jo will kill me if Fifi’s designer breeding has been ruined and she loses her house for good.
“Mae!” Ty jogged up beside me. “What on earth happened?”
“I don’t want to speak it into existence.” I jerked Fifi closer to me. “Besides, shouldn’t you be getting ready for you drink with Nicki or are you going to go after we have supper. Or are you going to break that off with me?”
“Stop right there.” He jumped in between me and the camper door. “I don’t know what’s going on here. I feel like you’re mad at me and I didn’t do anything. Neither did Timmy.” He pointed to the picnic table that was under my camper awning. “Please, just sit down for a minute and talk to me. Then I’ll let you do whatever you need to do.”
Fifi squirmed in my arms until I finally let her down. She darted out from underneath the awning when I sat down on the bench, but the leash brought her back when it was stretched to it maximum length. Ty didn’t take his eyes off of me. He sat down next to me. I dizzied from his smell, my heart softened.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at Timmy, but Rosco had taken advantage of Fifi.” I looked up at him and made my eyes big to emphasize what I meant.
“Advantage of as in sex?” As he questioned me, his chin got lower and lower.
“Exactly. Poor girl.” I bit back tears.
Ty Randal apparently thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard because he was literally bent over from laughing so hard.
“I’m glad you find this so funny,” I tried to say with a straight face but his laughter was so infectious that I too started to laugh. “It sounds so ridiculous,” I admitted. The tears falling down my face were from laughing.
It took a few minutes until we’d gotten ourselves together. Rosco had sniffed his way over to the camper.
“No. No,” I warned the dog. “You’ve done enough damage.”
“Awe, he’s smitten with her.” Ty smiled at the dogs. “The damage is already done.”
“How on earth am I going to explain this to Tammy Jo? She’ll have to go on suicide watch,” I said half joking, half not. “Her beloved, DNA-insured Fifi will not be continuing the prized line of breeding.”
“Insured?” He started to laugh again. “That’s even funnier.”
“No. It’s really not.” I gnawed my lip and looked at the two dogs. Fifi was prancing around on the tips of her fancy painted toes like she knew she was messing with a dog from the seedy side of town and that her mother was never going to approve of it.
“I think Camille Braun was killed over this pocket watch that Fifi is trained by,” I continued to talk as I watched his face go into some different contorted positions because he clearly couldn’t believe what I was telling him. “It was Harrison Swaggert’s and I had no idea he was Dottie’s deceased husband or that Nicki was her stepdaughter.”
I had to reel in my frustration. None of this was Ty’s fault. Not yet anyways.
“The watch is missing. It’s been stolen. It’s worth 2.2 million dollars. The watch goes to Fifi per the divorce papers. Fifi comes from a line of top poodle breeding and Tammy Jo has mortgaged her house as leverage to have Fifi’s DNA cloned.” My jaw dropped. “Maybe she’s already had her cloned and we can just use that instead of her offspring.” I jerked the leash when I noticed Rosco sniffing in places he didn’t need to sniff.
The fat dog with a smushed face waddled off, farting the entire way. I looked over the party. Ethel was back to belting out tunes. Bobby Ray was doing some sort of jig in front of the stage. Smacking his leg, jerking up one foot at a time in beat with the band. People were eating, laughing, and really having a good time. I would’ve too if it weren’t for an angelic Nicki Swaggert swaying to the music with her face up to the sun looking like a goddess.
I looked back at Ty. He too was focused on Nicki.
“Listen, I can’t go tonight. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go look at one of the toilets in one of the bungalows.” I left out that it was a clogged toilet of Bobby Ray’s. “I really need to be here for Fifi too.”
“Alright. I’m not going to beg you to let me take you for supper just so I can apologize for leaving last time.” He made it very clear we weren’t going on a date, something I blamed on Nicki Swaggert. “Let me know if you change your mind.” When he stood up and ran his hand through his hair, his bicep popped. My heart fell into my stomach.
“I won’t.” One thing about me, when I made my mind up, I made my mind up. Nicki made no secret that she and Ty were going to enjoy a drink. Who was I to stop the high school reunion.
I watched Ty walk off. He was almost to the lake when I saw his hand fly up. Nicki was across the other side near the band waving him over. He didn’t hesitate one bit. He took her cue and headed right towards her.
Watching her grab his hand and his twirling her around in circles made me sick. Sick enough to get ready to plunge Bobby Ray’s crap.
FOURTEEN
If I’d known running a campground was like running a daycare, I might’ve just sold the darn thing when I had the chance. Especially now that I stared down at the great unknown in the porcelain throne in Bobby Ray’s bungalow.
Me and the plunger were in the fight of our lives. I put all I had into pushing the tool up and down as the brown, murky water gurgled and splashed. A few times I gagged and had to look back at Fifi. I didn’t dare leave her in the camper or, even worse, let Timmy Randal watch her again. We all saw how that turned out.
Fifi wasn’t impressed. She tap danced on the floor and decided to tests the length of the leash that I’d tied to the bathroom door handle.
“If it weren’t for your rebellious ways, you could still be out there enjoying the fun.” I waved the plunger around, gagging at the drips coming off of it.
Fifi looked back at me and I swear she was judging me with her high dollar eyes. She turned and started to sniff around the floor.
“I’m glad Ethel buzzed off the ball on your tail.” I know she didn’t understand me, but it made me feel better.
I went back to take a few more jabs to clear the clog. I rocked back and forth on my heels as the plunger sucked and released, finding a groove. There were some things that came out of my mouth that probably shouldn’t, at least not in front of Betts Hager and her bible thumpers.
“Seriously. I wonder if that buyer still wants a campground,” I grunted just as something flew out of the toilet and hit my shirt, then landed on the ground.
Fifi scurried back into the bathroom and snatched up whatever it was.
“Gross!” I yelled and said a few more swear words. Not only had Fifi gotten dirty, she was probably knocked-up by Tammy Jo’s enemy’s pug and was now eating whatever it was that came out of Bobby Ray.
She looked up at me. There was something dangling from her mouth.
“Drop it,” I insisted and snapped my finger at her. Just like that, she opened her tiny little mouth, dropping a pocket watch on the bathroom floor. I looked back and forth from the toilet to the pocket watch that looked awful similar to the one stolen from Tammy Jo’s.
All sorts of ews and more ewwws came out of me when I took a piece of toilet paper and picked up the pocket watch, dangling it the air to get a better look. There was no way I was going to run water over it or even try to see if it worked for fear I’d damage it even more.
I quickly untied the leash from the doorknob with one hand. Bobby Ray’s toilet was going to have to wait. He had a lot of explaining to do about why this pocket watch was down his toilet.
I was temporarily blinded
when I stepped out of the bungalow. I blinked a few times to get rid of the big black dots and tried to get some fresh air into my lungs. I caught sight of myself in the glass of the bungalow’s door. While my bushy hair and the wet spot on my shirt hadn’t done it, hearing Nicki Swagger’s laughter as she swung her hair back and forth in front of Hank Sharp sent me into a spiral.
I bolted across the campground with my arm extended out front, the toilet paper flying around my hand, the watch dangling, Fifi’s little legs trying to keep up with me, and my medusa hair bouncing around. It was a pretty picture for sure. I’d really seen better days.
“Where did you get that?” Bobby Ray stopped me before I even got to the boat dock.
Over his shoulder, I could see Hank turn. His eyes focused on me. He said something to Nicki and started to make his way towards us. He took his phone from his pocket and made a call.
“Where did you get this?” I shoved the watch in front of Bobby Ray’s face.
“It was a gift.” He shrugged.
“From who?” I asked, a little more irritated.
“It doesn’t matter.” His jaw tensed. His eyes darkened.
“You shoved a gift down my toilet and clogged it. I’ve got God knows what all over my shirt and this watch that looks eerily similar to the 2.2 million dollar watch that was stolen from Tammy Jo Bentley’s house exploded out of my bungalow’s toilet. So, yes, it does matter who gave it to you.”
“Excuse me.” Hank Sharp’s green eyes hardened. “Bobby Ray Bonds?”
“Who wants to know?” Bobby Ray’s chest fluffed out like a bandy rooster about to have a cock fight.
“Detective Hank Sharp.” Hank grabbed Bobby by the wrist and before he could even get out the rest of his words, he had Bobby pinned on the ground. “You are under the arrest for robbery. You stay right here and play nice so I don’t have to hurt you. I’ve already called for backup.”
“I didn’t rob no one.” Bobby tried to jerk free with his face in the grass. “Let me go. Police bru-tality!” Bobby’s voice echoed, once again, stopping Blue Ethel and the Adolescent Farm Boys’s rendition of Will Smith’s Summertime, which didn’t sound good anyways. “Help me! Po-leeece bru-tality!”
“Bobby Ray, stop it,” I warned. “Seriously, Hank. Let him up. He’s not going anywhere.”
“Yeah, dude. I’m not going anywhere. Listen to May-bell-ine.” Bobby finally stopped squirming. “I’ll answer any questions you need me too.”
“May-bell-ine?” Hank looked at me as if that was what was important this very minute. I glared at him. He smiled, though he still had a death grip on Bobby Ray. “You swear you ain’t gonna run? I’ve got a gun in my sock and I’m not afraid to shoot you.”
“No. May-bell-line Grant, tell him who I am,” Bobby Ray insisted.
“Bobby Ray is one of my foster brothers. He is the one who gave me the money to move to New York City when I turned eighteen. He showed up here a couple of days ago and has been living here since.” Hank seemed to ease up on his grip, but not much. His eyes focused on the dangling pocket watch. “His bungalow toilet was clogged. I’ve been in there plunging it and this came out. I recognized it from cleaning Tammy Jo’s house. I was in the process of asking him how he got it when you came over here and went all ninja on him.”
The sound of sirens got closer and, in the distance, I could see plumes of gravel smoke rising in the air before I saw the black sedan barreling up the campground road with the red flashing light in the front windshield.
Now the entire party crowd had gathered around us and the bungalows. Dottie shook her head in disapproval as if she were reminding me that she told me Bobby Ray was bad news.
Hank didn’t let him go until Detective Elmo Burke got out of the car and had handcuffs they could slap on Bobby’s wrists.
“Come see me in the poky, May-bell-ine! You owe me!” Bobby hollered the entire way to the black car before Elmo shoved him in the backseat.
“Yep.” Dottie saddled up to me.
“I know,” I said sarcastically. “You told me.”
“Mmmhhhmmm.” She nodded proudly as both of us watched the taillights of the car disappear.
“You didn’t tell me that Nicki, the ex of Ty, was your stepdaughter.” I couldn’t help but glance over at Nicki, the good time girl. I grinned when that title popped into my head. She now had the audience of Henry and Ty.
“You never asked.” Dottie’s brows rose.
“You love to talk about everybody else, but I notice that you’ve never told me anything about you.” My temples began to throb. Rosco was waddling back over to us. “I’ve got to get Fifi in the house.”
“What do you want to know, Mae?” Dottie walked beside of me. “There’s nothing to know. I married her father when she was out of high school and off on her own life. I only heard rumblings about her little romance with Ty, but they were kids. It was when she got back from college that she strung along both boys.”
“Hank and Ty?” I gave her a sharp look.
“No different than what you’ve been doing.” Her right eyebrow rose.
Touché. Well played, Dottie Swaggert.
I walked up the camper steps and slammed the door behind me. I got Fifi a drink of water and filled her bowl with leftovers from the refrigerator. There was no sense in giving her the good kibble Tammy Jo insisted on. She was already wearing a scarlet letter. I quickly made a pot of coffee and took the notebook where I’d been writing down my sleuthing ideas to help Tammy Jo when apparently it was Bobby Ray all along.
There was a knock at my door.
“I don’t have anything,” I stopped talking when it was Hank Sharp standing at the door.
“We need to talk.” He pushed his way into the camper.
“Well, come on in. Oh.” I lifted my hands. “You already came in.”
“Coffee, please.” He sat down at the table. His eyes looked at my notebook. He groaned and shoved it off to the side. “I need you to tell me everything from the beginning about this Bobby Ray, May-bell-ine,” his southern accent was deep.
I gave him a long look. It would’ve been longer, but the coffeepot beeped that it was finished with the brew cycle. Right now, I needed coffee to help clear my head.
I fixed a couple of mugs and set one in front of Hank. I leaned up against the kitchen sink and took a few sips.
“He showed up here a couple of days ago. He said he’d seen the article about me in the magazine and he walked here. He needed a place to stay. I owe him that. I let him shower, I gave him a bungalow to sleep in, and I gave him back the three-thousand dollars he gave me when we were kids. He insisted that I didn’t owe him, but he didn’t try to give it back either.” I took a few more sips. “I have no idea how he got the watch.”
“He’s got a record.” Hank informed about his petty theft charges. “He’s on camera sitting in Tammy Jo’s kitchen with Camille.”
Swaying a bit, I leaned back even more.
“Just hours later, Camille’s seen taking the watch out for a second time, after the fight with Tammy Jo.” He had a good case against Bobby Ray. “When I searched Bobby Ray’s bungalow, I found a phone. There’s not much on there, but there is a Google search about the Daniels watch. I haven’t questioned him yet, but it appears he’s likely the killer.”
“The Bobby Ray I knew twelve years ago was not capable of killing someone. But I don’t know him as an adult.” Now I wished I’d listened to Dottie. “Can I see him?” I asked in a hushed whisper.
“I’ll let you have a few minutes with him later after we question him. Do you have a to-go cup? I need to finish going through the bungalow and head back to the department.” He’d gone back to being the somewhat reasonable man I’d seen a few times.
“Sure.” I searched the cabinet before finally finding a to-go cup in the far back. “What about Tammy Jo?”
He poured another cup of coffee in the to-go cup.
“I guess I don’t have anything to keep her on. I need
to get her released too.” He opened the door of the camper. “When you come down to the station, I’m going to need a formal statement from you about how you found the watch.”
“Okay.” I shut the door after he left and looked over at Fifi.
Her white paws were brown and she’d had a full day, but I swear there was a smile on her face.
FIFTEEN
Not even a little arrest could dampen the spirits of the campers and attendees of the Summer Sizzler. Maybe it had to do with some day drinking and liquid courage. After I packed up Fifi’s things, we took our last walk together down to get into my car that I’d parked earlier next to the office.
I didn’t bother Dottie, who seemed to finally be enjoying the fruits of her labor. She had her toes dangled into the lake. Ty and his boys were in one of the pedal boats in the middle of the lake. I didn’t see Nicki Swaggert anywhere. The humidity probably got to her and she melted. Just a thought.
Fifi had her head stuck out the window the entire way across town until we pulled into the police station. I parked next to the two black sedan cars that I knew belong to Hank and Elmo. With a twinge of sadness in my heart, I picked up Fifi and got her fancy pink, monogrammed bag. She licked my face like she knew what was happening and was begging me to keep her. It made me feel better to think that.
“Fifi!” Tammy Jo came running out the door next to Agnes’s window when we walked in. She went to grab the poodle but pulled back. “Oh, what the heck.” She grabbed her from me. “You might be dirty, but nothing a little bath from Camille. . .” She paused when she realized what she said. “From mommy will fix you right on up.”
Tammy Jo nostrils flared with a couple of quick whiffs. She lifted Fifi up in the air and twisted the dog all around. Then. . .as if she were some sort of Rosco magnet, hand to God, Tammy Jo lifted Fifi’s butt right up to her nose. She looked at me as if her head was about to spin off her shoulders and Satan himself was going to pop right out of her body.
