by Aiden Bates
“No, no, I think this is separate from yours. Our baby’s heartbeat, Bennet. Strong and healthy and true.” He kissed my belly over and over again, lapping at a stray rope of cum and brushing his eyelashes against my abs in a butterfly kiss.
When he spoke again, it wasn’t to me.
“I’m going to be here when you arrive, little one.” Another kiss, this time filled with fatherly affection. The heat of it glowed clear through me, focusing on my womb and surrounding it in a halo of love. “This family is my new commission—and I’m seeing it through.”
27
Logan
Seeing it through. It was the last promise I’d made to Bennet and my child on the subject of our lives together. A promise I was finding surprisingly easy to achieve. Every day as the clock ran down, I practically leaped from my desk and rushed to my car—actually excited to be going home to my blushing omega partner and the child he was carrying in his womb. Sure, sometimes it meant work was left undone—but as it turned out, taking some time in the morning to finish it up while I let Sergeant Wheeler whip his troops into shape was actually a good thing. Without me looming over his proceedings, the men were finally coming to respect Wheeler, allowing me to adopt a more hands-off approach to their training.
As I saw one particularly glum looking omega walking lines around the mess hall five months later, two heavy dictionaries from the base library balanced atop his head, I couldn’t help but smirk with pride.
“Keep it up, cadet,” I called out to him in encouragement.
Of course, that only left him startling, the books tumbling to the ground as his body jolted—but that was fine by me. I might have been going into retirement in just over a month, but it was good to know that my reputation as the biggest hardass on base was still holding to be true. I watched him scramble to pick the books up for a moment, then headed out to my truck as he placed his precious cargo back atop his head so he could start all over again.
Starting all over again was something I was quickly realizing I’d taken for granted before I’d finally faced my fears about fatherhood. I could sympathize with the omega—we were both doing some hard work on that day. But while the cadet’s current task probably felt heavy and exhausting, I was finding mine to be surprisingly light.
The little black velvet box I had on me couldn’t have weighed more than a few ounces. The precious cargo of my own that it contained weighed even less. But it was just as important of a burden to carry. Luckily, I could keep it in my pocket instead of walking around with it on my head.
In the driver’s seat of my truck I let out a long, slow breath to steady myself, and then dialed a number I hadn’t used in a long time.
“Logan.” Roland’s voice was as butter smooth as ever—only now, it lacked the stress fatherhood had often placed on it. “God, it’s been ages. I figured you’d lost my number completely by now.”
“Half thought I should call Teddy to confirm it,” I admitted with a chuckle. “I haven’t heard from you since…”
There was a long, solemn silence. Jason’s funeral hadn’t been easy on either of us. The tension between Roland and I had taken to the back burner as we’d laid our firstborn to rest. We’d barely said a word to each other even then—just a hug while Roland cried and I bit back my own tears. But miraculously, now it was all finally over, that tension seemed to have dissipated completely.
“It’s good to hear from you, Logan,” Roland said, actually sounding genuine about it. “How’ve you been?”
I took in a sharp breath. “Well… It’s a long story, actually. But I was hoping…”
“Of course. Let’s hear it.” Either I was dreaming, or there was even the hint of a friendly smile in my ex-husband’s voice. “I’ve got time.”
It all spilled out like rainwater over a flood line. Reconnecting with Bennet Long—as two adults this time. Horny, heat-addled adults, sure—a fact that left Roland in stitches—but in the aftermath, two men who’d turned out to be just as in love as we were in lust. It was a little awkward, describing the whole of the situation to Roland, especially the part where I had to admit that I’d spent several months making the same old mistakes all over again. But by the end of it, my chest felt light. Free. Like a cycle had finally been broken. A long, hard winter that had finally melted away into the fresh new growth of springtime.
“And you’re really ready to do this?” Roland asked after I’d explained what I saw as the only possible next step. The move I was planning to make so I could seal the deal once and for all. “You’re not going to chicken out this time?”
“My days of sticking my head in the sand are dead and gone,” I said. “I’m sure of it.”
“Those are ostriches, Logan.”
“What?”
Roland chuckled. “Metaphorically, it’s ostriches who stick their heads in the sand. Not chickens.”
“Ah.” I blinked, stunned by the way Roland was giving me shit now. Not as a disgruntled lover or a still-hurting ex, but as a friend. It was…nice. Surprisingly nice. Something I thought I might actually be able to keep up with. “Well, you always were the more clever of us, I guess.”
“And you were always the brave one. Even when you were, well. Sticking your head in the sand, so to speak.”
“You really think I can do this, though? I mean… I know I didn’t do right by you as a husband, but…”
“Oh, Logan. Of course I think you can do it. You always had it in you. Why else do you think I married you in the first place?”
I grinned, shaking my head as I stared down at my steering wheel. “Figured you just had a bad taste in men, honestly.”
“Oh, I do,” Roland replied. “But you, Logan… You always tried your hardest. Did your best. You’re going to be a great husband this time around. An even better father. I can hear it in your voice.” He paused for a second, like he was still processing it all. “I think it honestly sounds like you’ve changed. I’m really happy for you, and for Bennet, too.”
“And you’re okay with that?” I rubbed my temple, feeling the tension building there all over again. “I wasn’t able to give this to you, and—”
“Oh, shut it. You’re a different person than you were back then. We both are. And—what? I’m supposed to be bitter about you becoming better? Please.” Roland clicked his tongue at me. “I’m not some kind of Real Househusbands of Hollywood evil ex. These were the lots we drew. There’s no undoing the past, but how could I not be happy that you’re moving forward more positively for the future?”
“That’s…incredibly generous of you, Roland.”
“It’s not generous, dummy. It’s just basic human decency. I’m happy in my own life right now, you know? You and I… We got two beautiful boys out of what we had together. Lost one together. Got an even more beautiful granddaughter out of the other. Whatever we went through… I’m happy it’s brought you here. You deserve to be happy too, you grumpy old grizzly bear.”
“Still… Thank you, Roland. For everything.”
“If anything, this is just what you need. I’m grateful too, you know? It was nice to be along for the ride.”
As we said our goodbyes, I felt like I was on top of the world. Whatever mistakes I’d made in the past were exactly where Roland said they were; in the past.
The future was looking bright. Brighter than ever.
And it only kept looking brighter as I ran my thumb over the ring box at dinner that night, taking in how gorgeous Bennet looked in the low candlelight of the restaurant.
“Bennet… I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” I smiled across the table at him, relishing the way he licked his lips clean of the molten chocolate lava cake we’d split for dessert. “You’ve made me into a better man. Better than I ever could have been in any awful universe where I never got to have you.”
“Those exist?” Bennet leaned forward and rested his jaw in the palms of his hands.
“Mm. If they do, they’re pretty grim ones.” I laugh
ed slightly, more out of nervousness than amusement. I had a good idea of how I thought Bennet would respond to what I had to ask him, but there was still that little fear inside that was preparing me for the worst. A fear that, decisively, I swept aside. Time to get on with it. “I love you, Bennet. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And if you’ll have me…”
“Fuck.” Bennet lurched forward against the table. Scraping his fingers against the tablecloth, bunching it up in his fist as he grappled with it for purchase. “Oh, fuck. That—oh, fuck, that hurts. I—”
Bennet winced, color draining from his face until it was even whiter than the cloth between us. My heart sank into my stomach for a moment, the box in my pocket long forgotten as panic set in.
The baby. He was going to lose the baby. Oh god. Oh no.
Luckily, my body responded well to panic. After all my years of military service, leaping into action was second nature.
I whisked him away as quick as I could, looping his arm over my shoulder for a few staggering steps, then eliciting a series of scattered gasps from the other diners as I threw caution to the wind and lifted him up into my arms completely. I carried him to my truck, dialing nine-one-one on my phone and speeding to the Arlington General as fast as the truck could safely take us.
The hours after were spent in agonizing worry. Once I’d handed Bennet over to the doctors at the ER, there wasn’t anything for me to do but pace trenches into the carpet. At one point, a nurse finally came back to update me on Bennet’s status. He had gone into early labor. An emergency c-section was all that could save him, and even then, she warned me, her face twisted with sympathy, there was a pretty high chance I might lose both my child and my omega.
All of the good vibes I’d been riding that day came crashing down around me, one by one like satellites dropping from the sky. I bit my nails down to the quick, a bad habit that hadn’t made a resurgence since I’d hit puberty. Tore the edges of an old copy of GQ I’d found in the waiting room to ribbons, leaving fringes along the bottom of Tom Hardy’s tuxedo pants on the cover that even I knew looked out of season.
With every passing moment I found myself bracing harder and harder for the worst—until the door of the waiting room finally popped open again, revealing the warm, bearded face of Bennet’s OB staring down at me, his lips curled upward in a reassuring smile.
“Oh, thank fuck,” I swore as soon as I saw him, relief flooding my chest as I let out the rare f-bomb that normally wouldn’t have even come close to weighing on my tongue.
“Thank fuck indeed.” Dr. Lemon cocked his head toward the door, beckoning me to come with him. “Everything’s turned out fine. Want to come back and meet your son?”
My son. The words sounded so good, I played them over and over in my head as my boots carried me down the hall to Bennet’s room, my vision tunneling to a pinprick with shock and awe. My son. My son. My son.
Bennet himself looked exhausted, propped up in the hospital bed with a pillow beneath his soft brown hair and a blanket drawn up over his chest. Exhausted, but awake. Okay. Alive.
And when my gaze fell on the chubby sleeping baby bundled up and tucked safely in Bennet’s loving arms…
My heart skipped a terrifying beat, and then swelled to such a warmth beneath my ribs that, if I didn’t know it to be medically impossible, felt like I’d suddenly grown a second heart right next to it, the two of them thrumming away in perfect time.
“Did you… Are you…” I froze there in the doorway.
Bennet only smiled, waving me toward him and holding the baby up for offer. “Meet your son. I know we only just barely settled on the name, but…”
“Carter?”
Bennet nodded, passing the baby from his arms and into mine. “Carter O’Rourke. Be careful with his head and neck, he’s—”
“Perfect,” I said, cradling our son against my chest. He had hair the same color as Bennet’s, that lovely pale brown that almost looked like dark gold when it caught the light. “He’s perfect, and so are you.”
“I’m… Well, I’m alright.” Bennet laughed as I passed Carter back to him. “You can hold him for longer, you know. I’ve had him for a few minutes already, if you want to—”
“In a second.” I reached into my pocket. I had something important to do before that, something I should have done the moment I first set eyes on the handsome, blushing omega who’d come stumbling into my life only to change it forever. “In a second, we can do whatever we want. But first…”
I dropped down to one knee, leaning over the side of the hospital bed and popping the ring box open so Bennet could see it. Within was a simple silver band, perfect for Bennet’s coloring. Sized for him and engraved with a little paper airplane on the inside.
“Are you…actually proposing to me while I’m still coming down from anesthesia, Logan O’Rourke?” Bennet giggled at the very thought.
“Suppose I am,” I said with a smirk. “How else am I going to trick an omega like you into spending the rest of his life with an alpha like me?”
Bennet threw his head back, roaring with laughter so loud it startled baby Carter awake. Our son’s cries were ear-shatteringly strong, but healthy.
“You don’t have to trick me, you know,” Bennet said as we both tried to sooth Carter back into a new set of sweet dreams. “I know exactly what I’m getting myself into with you, Logan.”
“Yeah?” I smiled, wincing slightly at Carter’s screams. “Well, even if you don’t…”
“We’ve got a lifetime to figure it out.” Bennet held Carter tight, shushing him softly until the screaming finally faded into an adorable little hiccup—then, silence once again.
I stood back, wracked with the strangest mix of awe, joy and pride. “Is that a yes, then?”
Bennet laughed again, more quietly this time. “Of course it’s a yes. It was always going to be a yes.”
“You’re sure? You mean it?”
“Logan, I’ve never meant anything more in my entire life.”
28
Bennet
“I mean, you still fucked my dad, man,” Teddy said, elbowing me out of the way as I chopped parsley and he moved to the stove.
“Yeah, but I gave you a really perfect nephew to make up for it,” I reminded him.
Teddy pulled the pasta bake from the oven, sending a waft of steam and the scent of melted cheese billowing into the air. “I guess you’re right. And you’ve convinced him that pizza and lasagna is actually an edible food group as well, so I guess, in a way, I should thank you.”
“Thank me for fucking your dad?”
I burst into laughter as Teddy took an oven mitt off and threw it at me, just like old times. It had been two months since Carter’s birth, and now that baby Viola was just old enough for the flight back from Montana, Teddy and Roman had brought her down for a visit to meet her new uncle. It was a little weird, seeing my newborn son resting in his bassinet and knowing he was already the uncle of a one-year-old little girl, but I guessed in a way this whole situation was weird. The weirdest part of all being, obviously, was breaking it to Teddy that I’d fucked his dad—and gotten pregnant doing it—and was now going to marry him, but as far as fucked up family dynamics went, given my childhood I knew there were worse things than becoming your own best friend’s step-father.
Looked bad on paper, maybe, but in practice, it was all coming together surprisingly well.
There was a knock at the door as we put the pasta bake out on the table. I heard Logan offer Roman another beer from the living room as he got up to answer it.
“Silas and Garret?” Teddy asked, returning to the oven for the garlic bread.
I sprinkled a handful of parsley over the pasta with a flourish. “And baby Jason, too, yeah.”
“Probably not much of a baby anymore. He’s what, two now?”
“Terrible twos,” I said with a chuckle. “He’s really into flushing things down the toilet. Silas and Garret finally had to put locks on all of the l
ids after Jason decided their wedding rings needed a field trip down the pipes.”
“Yikes.” Teddy cringed. “So, not so different from his namesake, then.”
“A little troublemaker, through and through,” I agreed. “He’s smart, too. Garret thinks he’s probably about a week away from figuring out the current set of locks, at which point—”
“At which point, we’re just getting rid of all the toilets in the house entirely.” Silas entered with a big bowl of salad hugged against his chest in one arm and Jason on his hip. “Garret has already offered to dig the latrines in the backyard.”
“Watrines! Watrines!” Jason announced, flashing his baby teeth in a broad grin.
Teddy and I shared an amused look as Silas groaned.
“At least someone’s excited about it,” Silas deadpanned.
We all settled around the table, trading plates and serving each other based on whatever was within reach. As we talked and traded stories of fatherhood, I felt a warmth encircling us that I couldn’t quite place, maybe because I’d never really felt it before. Dinners when Garret and I were growing up were always tense affairs. TV dinners scarfed down as quickly as possible to give our father as little opportunity as possible to find something to be angry at us about. But this…
This was light. Comforting. The kind of thing I could see myself actually enjoying, as often as I could get it, in fact. It felt like we were a real, honest to goodness family.
Technically, I supposed that was exactly what we were. And it was nice. Really nice. The kind of thing I could easily get used to, and had every intention of doing so.
Around the time that Logan pulled out a tub of ice cream for dessert, another set of knocks sounded at the door. The first ushered in Charlie Zimmerman, big Jason’s comic artist fiancé and inarguably still an important part of the O’Rourke clan—despite the fact that Jason had died before they managed to make it down the aisle. He made a beeline for little Jason as soon as Silas brought him into the kitchen, cooing and pulling faces at the little boy who’d been named after the love of his life.
