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“Listen to me. ” He approached her, arms extending to latch onto her shoulders. “None of that is important to—”
Wolf growled low in his throat.
Tucker stilled, gulped again. “You’re beautiful and smart and I just feel better when I’m with you. I don’t know how else to describe it, and I don’t know how you do it. All I know is that you make me feel normal for the first time in my life. ”
Normal? Tucker hadn’t always felt normal? That surprised her, and proved just how little she’d ever actually known about him. He’d always seemed like the most put-together, confident guy she’d ever met. Well, besides Wolf, but he didn’t count.
“That’s not a reason to stay together, Tucker. ” The words left her of their own accord and she shook her head. Was she breaking up with him now, rather than merely asking for some time apart?
Yes, she thought. Yes, she was. They truly weren’t meant for each other. She’d been a terrible girlfriend. Absent, distracted and less than passionate. They’d only ever kissed. Anytime he’d tried for more, she’d always stopped him. She’d thought it was because she wasn’t ready, but now, looking back, she realized she hadn’t been ready with him. He wasn’t right for her. They were too different.
Like you’ve got more in common with a wolf? She brushed that thought aside. She hadn’t been thinking about Wolf along those lines, whoever he was. Had she?
“If you don’t want to date me, at least be my friend,” he said, a desperate edge to the words. “Please. Like I said, I can’t lose you. And I swear to you now that I’m not the father of Penny’s baby. Don’t let her convince you otherwise. Promise me. ”
Mary Ann laughed. “Penny’s not pregnant. ” A baby was something her friend would have mentioned.
Unless…unless the father really was Mary Ann’s boyfriend.
Her stomach did that twisting thing again and her focus intensified on Tucker. He was pale, sweating. “She’s not pregnant. Is she?”
He looked away guiltily, then gave a jerky nod. “She’s slept with half the football team. Surely you know that. It could be anyone’s. ”
The seriousness of his tone settled like a weight inside her. She thought back to the last time she’d spoken to Penny. It had been in front of the school, more than a week ago. Since then, she’d been too distracted. But she remembered that Penny’s eyes had been red-rimmed, as if she’d been crying. As if she’d told the father of her baby that she was pregnant and he had denied responsibility.
Before that, at the café, Penny had mentioned Tucker would cheat on Mary Ann if she didn’t sleep with him soon. That he might already be doing so. There’d been something in Penny’s eyes, an emotion Mary Ann hadn’t understood until now. Guilt.
“She’s…you…”
“I’m not the father, I swear! I’m not ready to have kids. ”
His words sank in, as did acceptance. Penny really was pregnant. And Tucker had slept with her. He hadn’t said, “There’s no way I can be the father because I never touched her. ” Just that he wasn’t the dad because he didn’t want to be.
Slightly light-headed, she covered her mouth with her hand. The fact that Tucker had cheated on her embarrassed her to her very soul, yes. Had everyone but her known? Had they laughed at her behind her back? But what hurt her most, what cut like a knife, what utterly destroyed her, was Penny’s betrayal. Penny, whom she loved. Penny, whom she trusted.
“How long?” she asked quietly. It couldn’t have been too long ago, because she and Tucker had only been dating a few months. “How many times were you together? When were you together?” She couldn’t stop the questions from lashing from her.
Wolf nudged her leg with his nose, and her hand automatically sought the warmth of his fur. There was comfort in the action, comfort from simply stroking him.
Tucker shifted uncomfortably. “Like I said, none of that is important. ”
“Tell me! Or I swear we’ll never be friends. ” They wouldn’t be anyway, but he didn’t need to know that right now.
She’d thought him pale before, but he became chalk-white, the blue lines in his forehead visible. “Just once, I swear. Not that long after we started dating. I came over but you weren’t home, so I popped over to her house to ask where you were since you weren’t answering my calls. If only you’d answered my calls…” He shook his head, pulling himself from his “regrets. ” “We started talking and things just happened. It didn’t mean anything, you have to believe me, Mar. ”
It hadn’t meant anything to him. Oh, well, that made everything better and negated what he and Penny had done. She wanted to shake him. What they’d done shredded her, left her raw. Of course it meant something.
“You need to go,” she croaked past the lump in her throat.
“We can work this out. ” Expression once more beseeching, he moved toward her. “I know we can. You just have to—”
Wolf snarled as she shouted, “Go!”
A muscle in Tucker’s jaw clenched. For a long while, he did nothing but peer over at her. Finally, Wolf grew tired of waiting and stalked forward, sharp teeth bared.
Tucker squealed like a toddler and danced a wide circle around the animal before running for his truck. Which was parked in Penny’s driveway, she realized. Had the two spoken before he’d come here? Had they had sex, then laughed about Mary Ann’s prudishness?
Wolf nudged her leg again.
“You need to go, too,” she said softly. Yeah, she’d wanted him to stay earlier, but she didn’t think she could withstand company right now.
Her hand was shaking as she unlocked her front door. Hinges squeaked as it opened. Wolf soared past her. He’d never done that before, and any other time, she would have welcomed him.
“Wolf,” she called through clenched teeth. “Now isn’t the time for this. ”
He paced through the house, sniffing the furniture. If you think you can force two hundred pounds of animal to leave, be my guest.
“Talking to me again? Lucky me. ” She tossed up her hands. “Fine. Do what you want. Don’t be surprised if my dad takes out his . 44 when he sees you. ” A lie, but he wouldn’t know that. “And don’t pee on the rug. ” The last was mean, but the last five minutes of her life had eaten away at her nice-girl filter.
She pounded up the stairs, into her bedroom, and dropped her backpack on the floor. Usually she hung it in her closet, taking pride in the neatness of her personal space. Just then, she didn’t care about her routine. Tears burning her eyes, she threw herself on the bed and rolled to her side. She clutched her pillow to her chest. The shock was wearing off, replaced by a burning sickness in her veins.
She could have called Penny, screamed, ranted, cried, but she didn’t. That wasn’t how she wanted to handle this. Actually, she didn’t know how she wanted to handle it. Except maybe to go back in time, race past Tucker so he couldn’t tell her what had happened and she could continue on, unaware and happy.
Had she truly been happy, though?
Wolf suddenly jumped onto the bed, the mattress bouncing, and snuggled up next to her, soft and oh, so warm. His breath trekked over the back of her neck. Look at me.
“Go away. ”
Look at me.
“Can’t you do anything I ask you? Anything at all?”
Please.
It was the first time he’d ever asked her for something nicely.
Absently, she rolled to her back, then her other side, and petted his neck. One of her tears spilled over, and she fought the rest back. No reason to add “sobbing like a baby” to her list of embarrassments today.
I’m sorry you’re hurting, but I can’t say I’m sorry he’s out of your life. You were too good for him.
“Him, I’ll get over. ” Her voice shook, the vibrations affecting her chin. The trembling then spread to her jaw.
It’s the girl, then. Penny. She’s your friend?
“Was. Was my friend. My best friend. ” Oh, God. So many years of love and trust, now ruined.
Why not still? People make mistakes, Mary Ann.
That was only the second time he’d said her name. She liked the way he said it, drawing out the A’s. “I know they make mistakes. I’m studying to be a psychologist, you know. I’m highly aware that some impulses are harder to ignore than others. I’m aware that fear of consequences causes us to guard our secrets. But it’s our actions when faced with temptation that define who we are. It’s our courage in admitting what we’ve done wrong that makes us forgivable. She slept with my boyfriend, and then pretended it never happened. ”
And you’re perfect? You’ve never made the wrong decision? Never tried to hide your actions from your father?
She stiffened against him. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. But I have never lied to Penny or taken something from her. ”
Wolf snorted. And what did she take? A piece of trash, that’s what. You should thank her, and then pity her, because she’s the one who’s now stuck with him.
“That doesn’t make it right. ”
I know. You have been hurt and your sense of betrayal is warranted. But was the boy truly yours to begin with? The entire time I’ve watched you, you kept him at a distance. You were happier away from him.
Maybe he was right, but that didn’t lessen the pain of what had been done. “Penny should have told me. ”
Did you give her the chance to confess? Not once have I seen you seek her out. And when she approached you, you dismissed her, other things on your mind.
Mary Ann slammed her fist against the mattress. “You are so irritating! You sound just like my dad and I—”
I am not your dad, he growled, planting his front paws on her shoulders and shoving her to her back. Those green eyes glared down at her.
She didn’t push him off; she didn’t want to. His shoulders were so wide he enveloped her, almost like a curtain that shielded her from all the world’s hurt. Dangerous as he clearly was, such a sensation amazed her.
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