by A. J. Rand
The god of dreams opened his arms to me, and I willingly stepped in to give him a quick hug. He pushed me back out to arms’ length and studied me carefully.
“You have been decidedly hard to reach, Yeshua.”
I shrugged. “I’ve been a little preoccupied.”
Morpheus frowned and moved to sit, offering me a place next to him. I dropped into our natural state of familiarity and looked around the room again. Marduk was staring at me with intensity. Now that I understood what had gone on before between him and me in my past life form, I couldn’t help but turn away from his scrutiny. Morpheus caught the look and frowned. I wasn’t his any more, but he was never one to share. I wasn’t ready to deal with any of it at the moment.
“I heard you were successful in your struggle against the dream stalker.”
Okay, so he was going to force me to look at Marduk. I tilted my head in deference of the Sumerian immortal and gave a smile of gratitude. “I had some help, but yes, I won out in the end.”
“Was there ever any doubt?” Phobetor was back to his flirty self again. I could deal with that a lot better.
My grin was rueful. “Oh yeah, plenty of doubt.”
“There was more to that dream stalker than with the others.” Morpheus made it a statement not a question.
“A lot more.” I nodded, looking at him curiously. “How much do you know?”
“Not a whole lot.” He looked disgruntled. “There has been some powerful shielding going on around you. A new trick you’ve learned?”
I laughed. “When does an old dog learn new tricks, Morpheus?” I shook my head. “No. It has been courtesy of the angelic host, I suspect.”
Some of the others started murmuring among themselves. They were not happy at my announcement. Come to think of it, I wasn’t happy about being shielded without permission. What if I had needed to get a hold of one of my allies? Would they have let me get through? Or were they blocking both ways?
“How did you manage to get through to me now?”
“It took a little combined energy.” Morpheus nodded to the others in the room. “But I think also that your angelic host was distracted. I am not sure we have much time.”
“Which begs the question––why did they feel it was necessary to shield me from you? What were they afraid I would find out?”
“What we do know,” Morpheus frowned. “Is that there are a series of events taking place, still on the subtle planes, but something big is going down.”
“The biggest.” I nodded and filled him in to what had happened so far.
“You cannot possibly mean to let the Grigori succeed in his task?” Erishkigal was giving me a cold look of disbelief.
“What if the Grigori are right and it happens anyway, whether by force or by design?” I countered.
Marduk was looking very grim. “It is not only Abaddon that would be released from the pit––”
“I know.” My voice was soft. “It is also Lilith––Tiamat.”
“You don’t know how difficult this is going to be, Yeshua.” Marduk was shaking his head. “We––”
He stopped, but I knew what he was going to say. “I know, Lord Marduk. I know of the history between us, what we did.”
There was an odd look in his eyes. “All of it?”
I shook my head. “No. But I know that you and I worked together long before Abaddon came into the picture to put Tiamat away. I also know those two are not the only ones bound to that pit.”
“Then how can you even think to release them?” Erishkigal was very agitated. I’m betting there was a whole lot more to the story between her and Tiamat that I wasn’t aware of at the moment. I’d have to have Chaz look into it.
“Because she is deciding whether or not to have control over the situation when it happens, or to sit back and hope it doesn’t.” Marduk was staring at me, trying to read my mind. “As a warrior, I can understand what her dilemma is. I would not want to be in your place, making this choice, Yeshua.”
“Gee, thanks, I think.”
“What gives her the right to make the choice for the rest of us?” Erishkigal was starting to get on my last nerve. “She is only a mortal.”
I shrugged. “So go ahead––you make the choice.”
“What?”
“If I am so deficient, you make the choice. Hey––I’m only a lowly mortal. What do I know? Besides, it will be nice to have someone else to blame for the decision. When it all gets screwed up, I’d rather not be the one in the hot seat.”
“I deal in the energy of death,” the black-haired, dark-eyed Osiris spoke for the first time. “But even I will not survive the ultimate destruction, if it comes down to that.” He smiled. “I’ll be pretty damned powerful up to the end, but I will still perish. Not a choice I would like to make.”
“From where I’m sitting,” Loki piped up, his red curls swaying back and forth with his shaking head. “The angelic host seems to be pulling every stop, trying to trick our girl here into seeing things their way. But I don’t see where they are showing any care for what happens to the rest of us.”
“You are right, Yeshua.” Erishkigal was cold, but gracious in her concession. “I would not want to make that decision.”
I want to tease her, call her a chicken, but I didn’t think it would suit the mood of the moment. I accepted her acknowledgement with a nod. Heck, I didn’t want to make the decision.
“So in which direction are you leaning?” This came from Apollo, his golden, honey-colored eyes almost the same color as his hair.
“To be honest, I’m not sure.”
And I wasn’t. But time had just run out on me. I felt it before it came, the sound of a trumpet reverberating through the room, echoing through the confines of the dreamscape. The fifth trumpet. My heart dropped, and I felt a cold chill wash over my body.
Morpheus gave me a grim look. “My guess is that the time has come.” He reached out and out his hand on my arm, giving it a light squeeze. “Know this, Yeshua Star. No matter what your decision, I will be at your back.”
There were nods and murmurs of agreement from all those present. A lump stuck in my throat. I was not going to cry here, in front of some of the most powerful people of my world. I wasn’t going to do it. But my eyes filled with unshed tears, betraying my firm conviction. The room started to get fuzzy around me. Morpheus cursed, trying to pull the focus back in. I guess the angelic host had caught onto our little powwow.
Marduk stood up and crossed the room. He reached in his pocket, holding something out to me. It was an amulet. I hesitated only a moment before tipping my head forward to allow him to place the medallion around me neck. Hey, he had done right by me before, and time didn’t seem to be a luxury afforded to me right now.
“Ashardu.”
“Baxtandabal.”
He invoked the amulet and powered it by the word of control. I looked at him quizzically, feeling the warmth of the activated energy of the seal he had just called to life.
“Pay attention to your heart, Yeshua Star. This will only help to bring to the surface that which you need to know.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “We await your direction.”
And then he was gone. They were all gone. I woke up in my apartment––well, my pseudo-apartment in the Crystal City, anyway. Great. More pressure. At least these guys believed in me. I wish I had that much faith.
The room was stifling. I needed to get out. This time I knew where I was headed. Within minutes I was standing in front of the Thirteenth Gate. For an inanimate object, the thing seemed to have a life of its own. And it wasn’t a pleasant life force either. It was full of darkness and treachery. Images flashed on the surface of the Gate, something that hadn’t happened before. It was a direct link to the Earth plane, and I felt all the negativity humankind had to offer with each horrible image displayed.
I shut my eyes against the horror. Was humanity worth saving? Why not give the world a clean slate to begin over again? But then
who would be there to stand against the atrocities of Abaddon and the hordes of Lucifer? Okay––Lucien, I mentally corrected. A rose by any other name––
“Is all well?”
The voice came from behind me. I knew it without looking, but I turned to face him anyway. The Archangel Gabriel stood behind me, studying me closely. Why was everybody watching me with such intent? Did they expect to read my mind? Good luck. I didn’t even know what was going on inside of there.
I sighed, turning back to the Gate. The pictures were gone, leaving the surface the same, flat, blank image I had always seen. What, was the Gate now trying to influence my decision, too? Or was it just another trick, courtesy of the angelic host? This whole game was getting really old. I didn’t want to play any more.
“I’m fine, Gabriel.” I lied, rubbing the tiredness from my eyes. “What do you want?”
“The Thrones have requested your presence.”
“Yeah? Let me guess––the fifth trumpet has sounded and they want me to give them an answer.” I dropped my hand and looked at him. He frowned. He hadn’t been expecting my awareness of the situation.
“Yes.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “So lead the way. Don’t want to keep them waiting now, do we?”
Gabriel’s frown deepened. I could tell he didn’t trust my acquiescence. It didn’t matter to me. He shouldn’t trust it. I was over this whole game of chess. I was no one’s pawn.
I was betting the vast sea of faces inside the Hall of Thrones pretty much combined every being that existed within the ranks of the angelic host. There were three other, very intimidating angels to either side of the dais where the Thrones sat. Gabriel took his place among those, so I’d also wager that I was getting to see the core of the Archangel tier for the first time, all members present.
Chaz was waiting near the front, with a very distraught Arianna. Whatever had the cherub all worked up couldn’t be good. But she was the least of my troubles right now. I came up and stood next to Chaz, but didn’t look at him. My focus was saved for the Thrones.
“The fifth trumpet has sounded.” Delphia started in without preliminaries.
I shrugged. “I know. But how long do we have before it is reflected on the Earth plane?”
There was murmuring among the host, I could hear the unhappiness in their voices. Maybe they didn’t care for my attitude? To hell with them. I didn’t care.
Delphia worked to hold back her anger. I could tell it was some struggle. That was interesting. How angry were angels allowed to get?
“It reflects current events, ones that unfold now.”
It took me a moment to realize what she was saying. I glanced around me, but I knew I wouldn’t find the one angel I wanted to see. Ke was not present. I couldn’t imagine he’d resign himself to the back ranks of the hosts for this meeting. He wasn’t here. Shit.
“He went to unlock the Pit.”
“Yes.”
I sighed. “So what is my next move?”
Delphia tilted her head. “It is the time for choice.”
“So what if he and the rest of the Grigori are right?” I looked the head of the Thrones straight in the eye without flinching. “What if this is the only way?”
“You do realize what has happened, do you not?” I didn’t like the tone in her voice. Delphia had something up her sleeve.
“Yeah. The whole thing is the beginning of the end. It signals the start of Armageddon.”
“The Grigori, Ke, has used you. He has played you like the foolish mortal female that you are.”
Okay, this lady was really starting to piss me off.
“You have thrown yourself at him repeatedly.” Delphia stated, but I could hear the derision in her voice. “And he has not responded to your advances has he? He probably even gave you some kind of noble excuse, like he did not want to venture into forbidden territory.”
Delphia was watching closely for my reaction. I could feel my cheeks grow hot with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. She had brought this up in front of the entire angelic host. I refused to give her any satisfaction, and I certainly didn’t want to look around to see what everyone else was thinking. I’d never felt so degraded in my life. I maintained my stare, giving away nothing of the turmoil that raged within me.
“Ke is no different than the rest of the angelic host. He was one of the few among the Grigori that never touched a human. Why do you think he has pushed so hard for you to unbind him? Do you think he wants to be bound to human form? There was no restriction then on your coming together. Why did he still turn you away?”
I knew it. But I didn’t comment. My heart felt heavy.
“But most of all, why do you think he encouraged your advances, even while pushing you away?” Delphia’s look turned to sly speculation. “Because if he could make you fall in love with him, you would not do what needed to be done to stop him from opening the pit.”
“Oh?” I feigned interest. “And what could I do to stop him?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Delphia backed off. “The time has come for you to make a decision. But it has moved beyond the point of not doing anything. Ke will open the pit. He is on his way there even now. The decision now comes down to whether you will choose to stop him or not.”
My laugh was bitter, but pointed. “You can’t say it, can you? You are not even allowed to try and put the idea into words, but you would condemn me for making the decision if I did. It is against the natural order to destroy any life form. You can’t even tell me that the only way to stop him is to kill him. And why? Angels have killed before. But only upon orders. You can’t make that decision. So you want me to. You haven’t been given the order to stop him at all cost, have you? Or else you wouldn’t be sitting here trying to talk me into committing murder.”
“That is not––”
I held up my hand to stop her. “Save it for someone else who might be taken in by your crap. I’m a realist. I’m also human. You have shown me exactly what you think of that, so excuse me if I put little weight in what you think.”
That was that. I turned and walked away. I could hear Delphia calling to me. She wanted to know what I would do. Let her wonder. Let them all wonder. I still had no clue.
Chapter 25
All my life I worked hard and pretty much did what everyone asked of me. Maybe I would toss in a few embellishments of my own to the task, but hey, if you can’t add your personal touch to a situation, then it’s not worth doing. You have to feel personal involvement on some level, or you can’t put enough heart into it to succeed. I never saw myself as being anything other than what I was––a fighter for the side of good. I didn’t do it for the glory, or for some need to play the hero. My fight against the darkness was very personal and had some deep meaning, a driving need even I couldn’t pinpoint.
People like Erishkigal, who could make decisions every day from her ivory tower that separated her from the heart of her company––never having to deal with the many people who performed the tasks she directed––it wasn’t my style. I could never imagine being so cut off and separated from the people whose very lives and stability rested on the decisions I made. But I had gone and committed a cardinal sin in my profession. I had let it get too personal.
Father David had raised me with the thought of not getting involved with others. It really had nothing to do with the feelings of the church in regards to having sex outside of marriage. It was more of a safety precaution for the safety of the individual I might choose. That was why I had pretty much relegated myself to a life of dealing with immortals on any kind of intimacy level. At least they could protect themselves. They’d been doing it for years.
Chaz was the first mortal to come into my life that brought the whole danger thing home to me. Heck, I wasn’t even sure he was mortal––were any of the Nephilim? It wasn’t a question I could just come out and ask without having questions raised, so I let it go. But it did make me feel very protective of the kid. I couldn�
��t live with myself if anything happened to him because I slipped up. That’s why Father David had tried to make that possibility very clear to me. If I had to protect someone else on top of trying to keep my own neck safe, it would hinder my efforts.
Ke was the first guy I had ever allowed to get under my skin the way that he had. To be honest, I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was some kind of past life thing. Maybe it was because he was so-called forbidden fruit. It could even be because he pushed me away. I’m as human as the next person. We always want most what we can’t have.
But was it love, or just a strong attraction? I pondered this question as I walked through the gates of the Garden of Eden. Where I was going didn’t even cross my mind. I was just walking with my thoughts. So was it a wish of suicide that drew me straight to the Tree of Knowledge? Maybe I hoped run into Lucifer––Lucien again? I don’t have a clue, but that’s exactly where I ended up.
As I stood there staring up at the Tree, thinking once again how unremarkable it seemed when standing as a whole unit, a voice from off to the side startled me from my thoughts.
“It’s really not much to look at, is it?”
I turned to see an angel sitting on the ground a short distance form where I stood. I had never seen a full figured angel before. This guy was quite rotund. And he wasn’t a cherub. He had twinkling blue eyes, an impish smile and a ring of white hair that fell past his shoulders, circling a bald spot. A matching, well-trimmed beard and mustache surrounded full, pouty lips. He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place–
My eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Didn’t I see you at Morpheus’ place?”
He laughed, a full belly rumble shaking his frame. “Yes. You caught me by surprise there.”
I raised an eyebrow. “An angel with a drug addiction? Or were you following me to keep tabs for the angelic host?”
He shook his head, smiling. “No drug addiction. It only affects me if I let it.”
