She nodded. “Yes, I—”
Noah’s cock brushing against her inner thigh stopped her words. She yanked her gaze to him. Hands planted on either side of her chest, he settled between her legs. She focused on his hard length ready to pierce her. Her core clenched, needing to pull him deep. She felt empty without him.
“Look at me, Hannah.”
She glanced into his face. A gasp escaped her, and her heart stopped. Full green eyes stared back at her. She’d bridged him, exactly as she had Ethan. It wasn’t what left her breathless. One truth did—Ethan and Noah were her true mates.
They’d been right all along. The idea had left her feeling special before. It still did. She wouldn’t deny it. It was the sadness the realization brought that left her crying inside. She wanted to lock both males to her soul, ensuring they’d always be together.
She couldn’t. Noah had chosen to mate another woman before her. He’d given her a piece of his soul. There was nothing left for Hannah to claim except the empty space left behind.
“No. Don’t go there, my beautiful Hannah. We can’t change the past, and regret will poison us. Leave us bitter.” He bent closer and kissed her cheeks, her nose, her eyes before taking her mouth on a reverent twining of their tongues that drained the sadness from her body.
He eased back so his lips brushed hers. “I don’t want that for any of us. I want to focus on what we’ve been given.”
“What’s that?”
He lowered his hips and filled her on a slow, steady thrust. She arched into him, taking him impossibly deeper. Seated fully, he dropped his head to her shoulder.
“A chance at a bond that’ll ensure we always find each other.” Noah turned his head and nibbled on her shoulder. “One based on love, Hannah. It might not be the mystical tie you and Ethan will share, but it’ll be just as strong. Just as special. We’ll find each other in heaven or another life. I don’t doubt it.”
Tears welled in her eyes, not sad ones, not happy ones. The moisture making her vision blurry stemmed from love, the deep kind that surpassed all barriers and mended all wounds. It didn’t promise their path would be easy, but it offered hope there would be one, no matter how many times fate pulled them apart.
Ethan released the grip he had on her wrists. She captured his hand before he slipped away and curled her other one around the back of Noah’s neck. “Yes. We will. It starts here. Now.”
Ethan bent and kissed her, then turned his head for Noah’s kiss before easing back. “It does, and it’ll be powerful, exactly as Noah said. But the night’s slipping away from us. Let’s spend it in passion, not worrying about the past or the future. I have faith in what we’re building here and in the spirit wolf.”
“Me too.” Noah shifted over her. “And I need Hannah to complete me.”
She linked her arms around his shoulders and spread her legs wide. “Then love me, Noah, and let me inside your heart. Let me fill the emptiness inside you.”
“Oh, Hannah.” He kissed her, making love to her mouth and her body.
They fell into a rhythm of give and take. For every rough drive, she lifted her hips to meet him. He fucked her as hard as Ethan had taken her, shaking her body with every stroke. It wasn’t any less than what they’d shared. It wasn’t better either. It was just as special, though. And unique. The realization eased some of the worry she’d felt. She didn’t want to care for either male more than the other, nor did she want to exchange one for the other.
She wanted their relationships to stand on their own, yet mesh.
She wrapped her legs around Noah’s hips, urging him to slow his frantic loving. He did but broke their kiss. No demand over why showed on his expression. Understanding did. With his gaze locked on hers, he rocked into her, over and over.
Passion built. Her body tightened, and heaviness settled low. Small waves danced over his length, pulling him deep. She was going to come. It’d be explosive, the kind of release that left her fingers and toes tingling, along with her scalp. It’d turn her inside out, and she’d take Noah into her soul. Figuratively, of course. But she felt herself falling in love with him. Maybe it was too soon for her to tag the word on to her emotions. At the moment, she didn’t care. The rightness she experienced was all that mattered.
The touch of her pack’s spirit teased her mind in a way it never had before. It didn’t exactly speak to her. She didn’t need its words to understand what it offered—the same blessing it had bestowed upon her and Ethan.
“You are beautiful, Hannah. Inside and out.” Noah slowed his thrusts until every drag of his cock through her center pushed her to the edge of pleasure yet left her hovering on the verge of frustration. “I am honored to call you my lover. As long as I have you, I’m whole.”
“Noah.” She pulled his head to hers and stared deep into his eyes. “Finish it. Complete us. Please.”
His grin told her everything she suspected he couldn’t put into words. Gaze locked to hers, he eased his cock out of her body, then pushed forward on a rough drive that stole her breath. He grunted and spilled himself inside her. The hot splash of his seed tipped her over. Her orgasm swept over her in one continuous wave. It built on itself, tightening her core and squeezing Noah’s cock, dragging every drop of his release free.
She trembled under his strong body and gloried in the feelings spreading through her. Every inch of her came alive, but where her skin met Noah’s, she burned. The sensations intensified. She writhed, and he tightened his hold on her as if he never wanted to let her go. The emotion resonated within her the same way. She clutched at him too, despite the heat building between them.
“Hannah, I feel you.”
She didn’t know what he meant. Didn’t care. The awe in his voice was all that mattered. “Good, then hold me. Never let me go.”
And if she could keep both of her lovers locked to her side, she’d be content. Life didn’t work that way. She could only cherish the moments they had together and pray they had a long lifetime to make them.
Chapter Eighteen
The first splashes of color streaked across the morning sky. Ethan crouched several feet away from a sleeping Hannah and watched the sunrise harken a new day. It would mark a change in destinies—for him, his pack, Noah and Hannah. He should’ve been excited to face the future. He wasn’t. Trepidation had woven itself into his being in the hours since he and Hannah had made love.
What it stemmed from, he didn’t have a clue. He only felt certain nothing would be the same tomorrow.
Noah matched his stance across from him. “We should wake Hannah and get her home.”
Ethan glanced at her. She lay curled on her side, his shirt draped over her chest, and her hands folded under her head. A small smile played on her lips. The wonder and peace she bestowed upon him seized him, chasing back some of his anxiety.
He tore his focus from her and glanced at Noah. “Soon. I didn’t get a chance to tell you everything yesterday.”
Noah tensed, suddenly alert. “Has Michael found out about Hannah?”
Ethan shook his head. “No, not that I know of.”
He’d shared the details of his conversation with Michael. Noah knew of the danger Hannah would be in if Michael thought Ethan was involved with her. It was why Noah had watched over her yesterday, following her from her pack lands to the building where she worked, then back home.
They couldn’t take the chance one of the Tanner protectors had seen her enter their land. Only two remained, but they were loyal to Michael and would’ve reported her destination to him. Unlikely considering the sheer amount of territory they should’ve been patrolling. But if Michael had decided to have Ethan watched instead of their pack lands? No, Ethan couldn’t risk it.
“I never should’ve invited her over.” Noah ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “Hell, I thought Michael would’ve been happy to hear that Hannah was intere
sted in you. I figured he’d look at it as an opportunity to finally get his hands on the Kagan pack.”
“I would’ve thought the same.” Ethan sighed. “No matter. What’s done is done. Besides, if you hadn’t brought the three of us together, this”—he motioned between them—“wouldn’t have been possible.”
Noah glanced at the ground. His grin spread. “That was just me being stubborn and possessive. I wasn’t willing to lose anyone I considered mine.” He raised his gaze. “And you’ve been mine forever. I was just too foolish and young to accept it.”
“You knew Hannah was your true mate the moment you met her, didn’t you?”
Noah inclined his head. “Yeah. I was damn angry about missing out on her too.”
Ethan opened his mouth but closed it without saying anything about Mindy. He didn’t want to tarnish what they’d had. It’d been love too, only different.
Noah squeezed Ethan’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I chose my path and Mindy. I can only hope the gods’ promise of rebirth is true, and she finds her true mate in another life.” He dropped his hand and shifted his attention to the woods surrounding them. “Or at least binds herself to a male who can protect her. ’Cause, the gods know, I fucking failed her.”
“You didn’t know she was in danger. How do you expect—”
“Stop.” Noah gnashed his teeth. “I. Failed. Her. There is no way to fucking sugarcoat that. I failed her from the moment I asked her to mate me so we could take over the pack to the morning I taunted Michael. I never thought he’d go after my mate. He was strict and insensitive to our betas, but at the time, I hadn’t considered him a murderer.”
“Exactly. None of us did. How—”
Noah leaned closer and lowered his voice to a mere whisper. “That morning, I saw the depraved glint in his eyes. It’s what set me off. I should’ve held my tongue. I was foolish, running my mouth the way I had. I should’ve known he would go after my weakness, especially after he said he’d make sure I could never take the position from him. Other than Mindy being threatened, nothing would’ve stopped me. I should’ve realized that. I didn’t, and instead of going home to her, I went for a run to burn off my aggression.”
Ethan ground his jaw but kept his arguments to himself. They’d engaged in the discussion too many times over the years. Every one had ended in Noah storming off and disappearing for weeks on end. Ethan didn’t want to send him off to wallow in his anger or pity, not today. He wanted both of his lovers safe and, preferably, together.
Noah pushed to his feet, grabbed his sweats from the ground, and yanked them on. “What else didn’t you tell me?”
“I went to the humans for help in finding Owen.”
Noah hunkered down in front of Ethan. “Did they have any leads?”
“No, but I did meet an agent that I’m confident will do everything possible to help. Seems the human is intimately familiar with shifter trafficking rings.”
“As a buyer?”
Ethan shook his head. “As a victim and a survivor of—”
His phone rang. The shrill, generic ringtone jerked Hannah awake. She hopped to her feet and scanned the area. He couldn’t stop his grin at the sight of his little protector, ready to defend them.
Noah went to her and drew her into his embrace, whispering to her. Ethan turned his back on them, snatched his phone from the ground and answered. “Hello?”
“Ethan?”
He frowned for a moment at the unfamiliar female’s voice, then recognition dawned. “Ella, is everything okay?”
“I have a lead on your brother. Well…a possible lead.”
Possible was better than nothing. He straightened. “That’s good news. Where?”
“Charleston. There’s a sale going down today featuring several feral males who’ve proven themselves as hunters.” Her sigh carried over the line. “It’s not much. I know that, but it’s the only thing I’ve found that’s remotely plausible.”
He rubbed at the back of his neck. The idea of leaving his pack land to travel to the human’s city didn’t sit well with him, not on the night of the full moon. The memory of the last time he’d spoken to Owen overshadowed it. He’d been the one to send his brother running. He had a responsibility to see him home. Besides, no matter how angry Owen had been, he loved Ethan. Their connection might be the only thing that would draw Owen from the edge.
He gripped his phone tighter. “What time? I’ll come.”
Another weary sound filled the line. “I don’t know. We got the date and city. That’s how these sales work. Buyers will apply to join the auction. Once their background clears, they’re given specifics. Unfortunately, we might not get them until an hour or two before it starts. Maybe less.”
“You’re not going, are you?” With her scent marking, she’d stand out and blow her cover.
“No.” The sharp bite to the word spoke of her frustration. “I’ve been reassigned permanently to a desk job because of my unfortunate history.”
He relaxed. “That’s good. Safer—”
“I didn’t call to discuss my life with you, Mr. Lyons. I called to inform you of the shifter sale.”
“And I thank you for that. Will you let me know the details once you have them? I have much to do tonight, but I want to be there.”
“It might be better if you aren’t.” Her voice gentled. “If your brother is deemed unsalvageable—”
“No. Don’t say it. I won’t allow it. No matter his condition, he’s to be returned to me. If you fail to make sure that happens, you and your department will regret it.”
“Threatening me is a violation of the government’s arrangement with the shifter community. If I report you, the government is well within its rights to punish you.”
“You won’t, so mentioning it is a waste of time.”
Silence stretched between them. He waited patiently for her to get her anger under control.
“I don’t know if I can make it happen, Ethan. Honestly, I don’t. It’s not like I have that kind of pull. I haven’t been in this role long, nor am I the ideal person for it. I meet with our in-house shrink weekly and end up lying to him so I can stay involved in Shifter Affairs.”
“What do you lie about?”
She huffed. “My anger. My reason for wanting to be tied to the organization. My motives in general. Fucking life. Everything.”
“Why is it so important for you to stay involved?” He’d been thinking a lot about the male who’d abandoned her. There was one thing he could do for her, but that involved inviting her to visit his pack.
“I want to find the fucking bear shifter who raped me and offered me up as a toy to his goddamn brothers.” Her voice lowered. “Every last one of them.”
“You find them, and I’ll hold them down for you so you can make them hurt. Make them cry. Make them beg for mercy.”
She chuckled. “That’s sweet of you, but making them grovel isn’t enough. I want their blood, and I won’t involve you in my murder plots. Besides, this is something I either need to do or die trying. Nobody will ever call me weak again. If I can’t prove I’m not, then I deserve to suffer.”
He squeezed the bridge of his nose. Hatred gripped him. The feline shifter who’d tossed his true mate aside needed a lesson in humanity or maybe a beating. Only a fool would turn his back on his gift from the gods.
“No matter how things work out today with the sale, I’d like you to come visit my pack. There are some older shifters in the area who might be able to help you find your male.”
More silence filled the line. Finally, she asked, “How? I don’t know anything about him. I don’t even have a name.”
“They have their ways. Say you’ll come.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. He doesn’t want to ever see me again. He made that perfectly clear.” She snorted. “Hell, I wasn’t even good
enough for him to fuck. I don’t know why either. None of those other shifters had a problem with it.”
He clenched his jaw. Anger and sympathy mixed. Her male was a coward. There was no doubt about it, but his conversation with Noah offered another perspective to why Ella’s mate had walked away from her.
“Shifters don’t always think the same way humans do. Give him another chance, Ella. He might’ve felt like a failure for what happened to you. As if he should’ve sensed the danger you were in and saved you from what happened.”
Another long moment of silence passed before she said, “I’ll think about it.”
“Good. That’s all I ask.” He breathed a sigh. “You’ll call?”
“Yes, and thank you.”
She ended the call, and he faced Noah and Hannah. They watched him warily. “They might have a lead on Owen.”
“Where?” Noah asked.
Ethan glanced at Hannah. He hadn’t finished telling her how he had failed his only brother. “A shifter auction selling several feral males.”
Her eyes widened.
“Owen took off because of me. I don’t know where he’s been or what he’s been doing, but somewhere along the line, he got picked up by a shifter trafficking ring. If he’s one of those feral males being auctioned, he’s more beast than man now. And it’s my fault.”
Hannah went to him and took his hand, linking her fingers with his. “No, it’s Michael’s fault. We’ll get Owen back and heal him.”
Apparently, Noah had filled in the details Ethan had skipped. He was glad. “And if we don’t, he’ll die.”
She shook her head. “I doubt it. Unless Michael is going to compensate his owners, they’re not going to kill him. From what Noah told me, there’s a market for feral males. Cage fights. Who knows what else. My point is, Owen is worth money. And from what I’ve heard, Michael doesn’t have any to spare.”
Of course. Owen was valuable. Ethan hadn’t let himself think logically about the situation to see any other possible outcome. His guilt had blinded him. It still hung heavy on his soul, but Hannah helped him past the debilitating effects of it. He held her words close and let the hope they offered strengthen him.
Shared for Love: Kagan Wolves, Book 2 Page 19
