“Not particularly.” There was a flash of a boyish grin, one I imagined he wore quite a bit when he was younger and about to do something he knew he would get in trouble for. “My parents will be…displeased.”
“Displeased?” I choked on a laugh. “I have a feeling there will be a stronger emotion.”
“Quite possibly. But my parents will seek to delay the marriage until they are sure it’s true. We cannot afford the time it will take to gain their permission—permission I do not need,” he said. “As I said before, my people want retribution. If they think this is a ploy to get back a Prince they have already mourned, and if they value revenge over life, they will try something. Once you become my wife, you will be protected.”
“Your people seem…” I trailed off. His people seemed barbaric, but mine weren’t much better. Whether I claimed the Ascended as my people or not, I had been raised by them. And wouldn’t I be just as violent if I lived every day, knowing that the Ascended could arrive at any time to slaughter without question or punishment? I would be just as wrathful.
A shudder worked its way through me as I stared at his profile, at the taut lines of his face, and the shadows under his eyes. I realized that maybe Casteel and I weren’t all that different. “I understand.”
His gaze flew to mine, his eyes wide. “What?”
“I understand why you’re doing this. They have your brother, who was captured in the process of freeing you,” I told him, my thoughts shifting to Ian. “I can understand that you’d go to extremes to get him back.”
He turned to me. “Really?”
I nodded. “I would do the same. So, I can understand and still not like it. I can hate that I’m nothing more than a pawn to you and still understand why I am.”
“You’re not just a pawn to me, Poppy.”
“Don’t lie,” I told him, my heart squeezing. “That’s not doing either of us any favors.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it, seeming to rethink what he’d been about to say.
“There’s a reason I understand,” I told him. “You would do anything to free your brother, and I will do anything to get back to mine. I’ll agree to this if you promise to help me get to Ian.”
“Poppy—”
“I know what he is, and you know that I have to see what he’s become.”
He turned fully to me. “And what if he has become just like the others?”
“Just because he’s Ascended doesn’t automatically mean he’s evil—don’t.” I lifted a hand when he moved to speak again. “You said that they can control their bloodlust if they want. Many of the Ascended are evil, but just as many were good people before their Ascensions, and they had no idea what the truth was. My brother…” I drew in a shaky breath, squaring my shoulders. “I have to see for myself what he has become. So that is the deal. I will temporarily marry you and help you free your brother if you help me free mine.”
Casteel’s head tilted as he stared at me for several moments. I had no idea what he saw, but then he nodded. “I agree.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“You’re not going to fight me on this?”
I considered that. “Not in front of others. Why would I? If them believing we’re getting married keeps me alive, then why wouldn’t I go along with that?” I reasoned, frowning slightly. I would never have guessed that whiskey had such an amazing ability to clear one’s thoughts. “I don’t have a death wish. Neither do I have a desire to be caged and used as a bag of blood.”
He flinched. It was small, but I saw it. “But in private, you’ll fight me tooth and nail?” he surmised.
“Kieran knows what you’ve planned, doesn’t he?”
He nodded.
I met his stare. “Then in front of him and in private, I will fight you tooth and nail. I will not pretend to be the docile fiancée without an audience.”
“Understandable.” He dragged his thumb over his glass. “But if you want to pretend to be just that in private—”
“Not going to happen.”
Something glimmered in his golden eyes. “I think you will find that I can be impossibly charming.”
I glared at him.
“Remember what you said about impossibilities?”
I did. “But this is truly impossible.”
“I guess we will see.”
“I guess we will,” I told him, relaxing. This banter felt normal. At least, for us.
Casteel eyed me. “I feel like this is a trick, and you’re two seconds from trying to plunge that knife into my heart again.”
I coughed out a dry laugh. “What good would that do? You’d only be annoyed, and the knife is not nearly sharp enough to sever your head or pierce your incredibly thick skull.”
He smirked, finishing off the whiskey left in his glass before moving away from the mantel. “But it would give you great satisfaction.”
I considered that.
It would.
“I knew it,” he murmured, placing the glass on the table.
A couple of moments passed as I felt Casteel’s gaze on me. “Do Atlantians recognize the tradition of rings when they propose?” I asked. The Ascended didn’t in Solis, but many of the mortals did. A ring was bestowed upon a couple’s engagement, and then bands were exchanged upon marriage.
“We do.”
“Then how believable is it that we are engaged if I don’t have a ring?”
“Good point,” he murmured.
“I want a ring,” I announced. “I want an obscenely big one like I’ve seen some of the wives of wealthy merchants have. Their diamonds are so large they look like they should weigh down their hands.”
He angled his body toward me. “I will find you a diamond so big it will enter the room before you do.”
“Good.” It took me a moment to realize that I was smiling. I wondered if I should be concerned by that as I thought everything over. I felt a little more at ease. What I had said to him about understanding why he was doing this was true. That didn’t mean I had to like it or that reality didn’t sting and hurt something fierce. But if Vikter had taught me anything, if I’d learned anything from Queen Ileana and my time as the Maiden, dealing with Duke Teerman and Lord Mazeen, it was that being pragmatic and rational was the only way to win a battle and survive a war. I would go along with this because this was how I stayed alive and got to Ian. I, like Casteel, would do anything for my brother. And that included going from one viper’s nest to another.
Chapter 11
I was to be married.
That was the last thought I had before falling asleep and the first thought I had upon waking—both of which I’d done alone.
Casteel had left shortly after I agreed, Delano having summoned him. I ended up falling asleep, and the only reason I knew he’d returned in the middle of the night was because I’d woken at some point with the warmth of his body inches from mine. I’d lain there for far too long, listening to the steady sound of his breathing, fighting the urge to roll over and look at him. He was gone when I woke, and I was relieved—this time for different reasons than before.
I needed to wrap my head around what I had agreed to, and I tried to do so as I stood in front of the dimly lit vanity in the bathing chamber, tackling the knots in my hair as if they had the answers to all my questions.
The marriage was real…yet not. A business arrangement that would give both of us what we wanted. His brother. Land. My brother. Freedom. And maybe even an end to a war that hadn’t even begun yet.
Well, hopefully, we would gain what we desired.
How could I not agree? If I said no, and Casteel truly let me go, stashing me away where no one could find me—if that were even possible—I would still need to see Ian. This way, I wasn’t doing it alone. I may be Casteel’s key to the King and Queen, but I had enough intelligence and common sense to recognize that he was also the safest and smartest path to my brother.
But that wasn’t the only reason I had agreed.
> Despite Casteel’s lies and betrayals, I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to walk away, leaving Casteel to save his brother and possibly even his people through different means. Even though I had been given little opportunity to discover who I was as a person, I knew enough about myself to realize that I wouldn’t have found a moment of peace in whatever freedom I had. Not after everything I’d learned, and not when there was something I could do.
But marriage?
It had been so long since little-girl fantasies of weddings and the possibility of being tied to an Ascended—something that, at the time, I hadn’t known would never happen—had filled me with fear and panic.
This marriage filled me with panic and fear too, but for very, very different reasons. We would have to behave as if we wanted one another in a way that went beyond the physical. We’d have to act as if we were in love. And that was dangerous. Even with my lack of experience in all things, I knew this. What I already felt for him in spite of everything felt like a slippery slope. It would be hard enough to pretend to be together so we could convince his people of our relationship and not be affected by it. There needed to be boundaries. Lines. I was still a pawn. Only now, I was an active one.
I couldn’t forget that.
I wouldn’t.
Another worry manifested. How were we going to convince anyone that we were in a loving relationship when I’d publicly refused the proposal and insinuated, rather clearly, that I thought he’d lost his mind?
How was I supposed to even act? All I had as examples were my parents, and from what I could remember, everything about their love—the long looks and the way they constantly touched one another—had been natural. Something that couldn’t be faked or forced. And the rest of the relationships I’d seen regularly were those of the Ascended, and I’d never seen the Duke and Duchess touch each other. Even Ian never spoke of his wife in any of the letters he sent. Not once beyond announcing their marriage—something I hadn’t been allowed to attend. Then, Queen Ileana’s refusal to allow me to travel had been positioned as a safety concern. But now, I wondered if it was something more.
I should’ve questioned more then, but I had become complacent in the Ascended’s absolute control of me. How did that happen? How did the people of Solis get to the point where so very few questioned handing over their children? Some even happily did so, feeling honored. Was it fear? Misinformation? Lack of access to education and resources? There were so many reasons why, and even more for those who had begun to suspect that things were not as they seemed, yet had made excuses.
Like I had.
Because seeing the truth was terrifying.
And what if Casteel’s plan worked? I saw Ian and…dealt with how that turned out. Then what? Would the Ascended truly change? Would the people of Atlantia be satisfied? And how would we know if the Ascended were following the new rules, living a more restricted life? Even if they did, I doubted the divide between those who lived in places like Radiant Row and the slums by the Rise would suddenly evaporate. The wheel the Ascended created would continue to turn, wouldn’t it? Or would losing the Queen and King scatter the rest of the Ascended, forcing them into a new way of life?
I didn’t know the answers to any of that. All I did know was that the people of Solis couldn’t continue to be preyed upon. And if I could help stop that, then I would.
That was a purpose far greater than the one I’d lived with as the Maiden. It was real. It would change lives. It made me feel as if I had been chosen for something that mattered.
But none of that told me how I was supposed to act in a loving relationship. The Ascended always came across as if they were somehow removed from physical needs, but I knew that wasn’t always the case. Though Duke Teerman’s and Lord Mazeen’s perversions were not good examples of how to behave in a relationship.
My heart beat too fast in my chest as a knock sounded. A moment later, the door cracked open, and Kieran called out, “Want breakfast?”
“Yes.” Dropping the brush, I hurried from the bathing chamber.
Kieran held the door open for me. “Someone is very hungry.”
I wasn’t sure I could consume even a mouthful of food. I stepped out into the walkway to see that the snow had stopped, even though the wind still whipped through the trees, sending the fallen snow whirling across the yard.
“Will we be leaving soon?” I asked. “Since the snow has stopped?”
“I believe Alastir and some of the others will leave later today to check the roads to our east, to see if they’re passable. I hope so since the storm didn’t stretch very far to the west.”
Meaning the roads from Masadonia, or even the capital, wouldn’t be as impassable. “Do you think they realized we haven’t shown at our next location yet?”
“I don’t think so. We have time. Not much, but some,” he said.
It was weird to feel relief, almost as if it were a betrayal of some sort, even though I knew it wasn’t.
“So, Penellaphe. For once, I have a question for you,” Kieran drawled as we entered the stairwell.
I glanced over at him. “Okay?”
“How’s it feel to be on the verge of becoming a real Princess?”
“He told you already?” I didn’t know why that should surprise me. Casteel had probably seen Kieran last night.
“Of course, he did. I probably knew his plans had changed before he did.”
My eyes narrowed. “I’m willing to bet his plans changed when he realized I was part Atlantian.”
He smiled, and the expression hid a wealth of mysteries. “His plans changed well before that. But like I said, he hadn’t quite realized that.”
“But you did? You know him that well?”
“I do.”
“Well, good for you,” I muttered.
He chuckled. “I can’t wait to see how you two are going to pull this off.”
My pulse skittered like a wild horse. “What does that mean?”
Kieran slid me a knowing look as we entered the bustling common area. “Not a minute has gone by since we left the Blood Forest that you aren’t threatening Casteel’s life.”
“That’s an exaggeration. There’s definitely been… Several minutes have gone by.” I cringed, but Kieran had a point.
“I guess we’ll find out soon.”
I was too nervous to wonder if anyone was shooting me hateful looks as we went into the otherwise empty banquet hall and took our seats at the table. Chairs had now replaced benches.
Food was brought out—sausage and eggs, along with those amazing biscuits. Somehow, I got past the twisting of my stomach to snatch one of those. I was far quieter this morning as I ate my food. The reason why appeared just as I finished what I could eat. Kieran looked over his shoulder, and I knew who had arrived.
Slowly, I peeked behind me. Casteel walked into the room with Alastir and several of the men at his side. Alastir spoke to him as Casteel looked straight to where Kieran and I sat. Our gazes seemed to lock for a moment, and then I quickly looked away, heart back to thundering in my chest.
“Casteel will announce you as his fiancée.” Kieran lowered his cup. “It will be wise to behave appropriately.”
My eyes narrowed on Kieran’s profile. “Do you think I’m going to scream in Casteel’s face and run off instead?”
A hint of a smile appeared. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Rolling my eyes, I peeked at the doors. The group had stopped just inside the room, speaking with Naill, who, like the rest of them, had a habit of seemingly appearing out of nowhere. “Do you think he’ll believe us?”
“Yet another question?” Kieran leaned back, crossing his arms. “Seriously? Do you ever get tired of asking so many?”
“Apparently, you don’t, since you just asked three of them.”
He chuckled then. “I think it will be tough to convince Alastir.”
I stared at him. “That’s really motivational. Thank you.”
“You’re welcom
e.”
One quick glance, and I saw that they were still by the doors. “How do you know he will announce that I agreed to the marriage? Did he tell you?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know?”
“I just know things.”
I pinned him with a bland look. “I know you two are close, but…” Something occurred to me. The bond. “I read that some Atlantians of a certain class and wolven have bonds.”
“Did you?” he murmured.
“Yes. It is believed the wolven are duty-bound to protect the Atlantian they’re bonded to.”
“Are you going to eat that biscuit?” he asked.
Brows knitting, I shook my head. “You can have it.”
Kieran picked up the roll and immediately began tearing it into tiny pieces, reminding me of how the small rodents the Healers kept in cages ripped apart their paper bedding.
I shoved that image out of my head. “I’m thinking the history texts had the part about the bond being with a certain Atlantian class wrong. It’s a certain bloodline. Elemental.”
“You’d be right.” He popped a piece of the bread into his mouth. “I could live off this bread.”
“The bread is…tasty.” I kind of wished I hadn’t let him have it. “The bond between you two is more than just you protecting him, isn’t it?”
“We were bonded at birth, and the connection is a lot of things, Penellaphe.”
I was about to demand details, like if he could somehow sense what Casteel was about to do or not, but the sound of approaching footsteps quelled the desire. My heart, which had only slowed down slightly, started pounding again. Casteel and the men were coming over, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Smile prettily and behave as if Casteel hung the very moon and stars each and every night? My shoulders tightened as I tried to picture myself doing that. And for some reason, the scars on my face became bigger and more visible in my mind.
“Are you hyperventilating?” Kieran asked.
“What?” I stared at my plate. “No.”
“You’re breathing very fast.”
Was I? Oh gods, I was. Why was I behaving like—?
A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire: A Blood and Ash Novel Page 16
