by Marie Force
The phone buzzed with another text from David. Vic? You saw my message? Just making sure.
Got it, she replied. Thank you.
Hope I did the right thing telling him where to find you.
You did.
Let me know…
I will.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
I won’t. That’s what started this whole thing. Too late to turn back now.
He replied with a thumbs-up emoji.
When she took another sip from her coffee, she noticed her hands were shaking ever so slightly. Her entire body vibrated with excitement at knowing she was going to see him and fear over what he might have to tell her. She’d wanted to know more about his past, but was she prepared to fully experience the horror of it?
Probably not, but if that was the way forward toward a future she wanted with him so badly, then she would do whatever it took, even if that meant making his heartbreak her own.
Fifteen minutes later, she heard the bike in the distance and braced herself for his arrival.
Because he wasn’t wearing a helmet, she could see his relief when he saw that her car was still in the driveway. He parked behind her car and shut off the bike, gazing up at her on the deck with a look of yearning on his face.
Her heart beat so hard and so fast that she worried she would hyperventilate, and he hadn’t even gotten off the bike yet.
Then he was walking across the driveway to the stairs, coming up slowly, almost as if he was gauging his welcome. She noticed a manila envelope tucked under his arm.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
“May I?” he asked of the other chair on the small deck.
Victoria nodded.
“Thanks for seeing me.” He bent to rest his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair, a sign that he was nervous about whatever he’d come to tell her. “I’m really sorry about everything that happened yesterday.”
“How’s your hand?” she asked.
He seemed surprised that she’d asked. Flexing it, he said, “It’s killing me, but I suppose I deserve that.”
She didn’t disagree, so she said nothing about that. “I’m sorry that by talking to Seamus I made you mad and stirred up old crap you’d sooner forget. That wasn’t my intention.”
“I know, and you didn’t do anything wrong. He’s become your friend over the last year, and who else would you go to for insight about me if you weren’t getting it from me?”
“I would’ve much rather have gotten it from you.”
“I know.” After a pause, he said, “What exactly did Seamus tell you about Fiona?”
Realizing his use of her name was a big deal—and a good sign—Victoria said, “Only that you’d been together for years when she was murdered.”
Shannon nodded, and after a deep sigh, he began to talk. As always, Victoria was mesmerized by his accent as much as the words he was finally sharing with her. “We met in school when we were fifteen. Her family moved to Wicklow that summer, and she started school with us that year. I was immediately taken with her. We became the best of friends, and then, later, when we were older, much more. Looking back with hindsight, I think I was in love with her from the start.”
“What did she look like?”
Shannon handed over the envelope he’d brought.
Victoria’s hands trembled as she opened the envelope and carefully removed the priceless photographs of the stunningly beautiful woman he’d loved and lost. Fiona had curly strawberry-blonde hair, blue eyes, fair Irish skin and freckles across her nose and under her eyes. “She was beautiful,” Victoria said.
“Aye, she was. Inside and out. You couldn’t find a sweeter person anywhere. She never had a bad word to say about anyone and could find the good in even the most difficult people. She’d gotten into modeling and met some truly awful people at various jobs, but she didn’t let them get to her. I admired her and tried to be more like her. I dealt with my fair share of idiots as a bartender, and she would tell me there was probably some reason they were that way, and to try to have empathy toward them rather than getting angry.”
“She sounds like a saint.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he said with a gruff laugh. “She swore like a sailor and could knock back the pints with the best of us. I think you would’ve liked her.”
“I’m sure I would have.” Victoria carefully returned the photos to the envelope and handed it back to him. “Thank you for sharing her with me.”
“I should’ve done it a long time ago. Maybe if I had, we wouldn’t be in the spot we are now.”
“Will you tell me what happened to her?”
Before her eyes, his entire body went tense.
“If you can,” she added. “I’d never ask you to talk about it if it’s just too hard for you.”
“It is hard,” he said. “Even after all this time.” He looked away from her and seemed to gather his thoughts. “We moved to Dublin when we were twenty-one so she could pursue modeling. I bartended at a local pub five nights a week, including Saturdays. It was walking distance to our flat, so I usually took a dinner break around nine and went home to eat and see Fiona for a little bit. That Saturday, my rugby team came in to celebrate a big win earlier in the day, so I never made it home until after we closed.”
Victoria braced herself to hear the rest.
“When I got home, the door was open. Someone had kicked it in. I… I found her, on the floor. She’d been strangled. Later they told me she’d been raped, too.”
Victoria wiped away tears and reached for his hand, needing to offer whatever comfort she could. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.”
“Did they ever catch the person who did it?”
He shook his head. “It’s still an open investigation, but the chances of catching him now are slim. We still hope they will, though. She deserves justice for what was done to her. When I think about her final moments…”
Victoria rose and went to him, sitting on his lap and putting her arms around him. “I’m so sorry if my questions to Seamus brought this all up again for you.”
“You had no way to know what the answers to your questions would be, love.”
“I knew there was something holding you back, and I thought if there was just some way to scale that wall you’ve put up around your heart that maybe we could make this work somehow.”
“You have scaled the wall. You did it a long time ago.”
“I… you…”
“I love you, Victoria. How could I not after everything we’ve had together this last year? Before I came here and found you, I was totally lost. Someone asked me last night if I was homesick for Ireland, and I hadn’t been. Not until I thought I’d lost you. That’s when I realized that Gansett has become home to me. You have become home to me.”
Reeling from his words of love, she had to force herself to stay focused. “Yesterday, I told you I loved you, that I’m in love with you, and you walked away from me.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry about that. After I left you yesterday, I moved into the Beachcomber and went to the bar to drown my sorrows in a bottle of Jameson. I ran into Kevin McCarthy and ended up in his office, talking until three in the morning about the many ways I’ve been fucked up since Fiona died, ways I haven’t acknowledged until now.”
“How do you mean?”
“For one thing, my plan was to never again become so involved with a woman that losing her would ruin me.” He cupped her face in his big hand and ran his thumb over her cheek. “I was doing pretty well with that plan until I came here and met you.”
“I want you to know that I believe you when you say you love me.”
“I really do.”
“But if this isn’t what you want—”
He kissed her then, turning her face toward him to capture her lips in a deep, searching kiss full of love and the desire they’d felt for each other since the first night they met. �
��It’s what I want,” he whispered against her lips. “You are what I want, and I’m sorry I let you think otherwise for even one minute, let alone an entire night. I was completely overwhelmed to realize that in order to keep you I was going to have to tell you about Fiona. I never talk about her or what happened to her. Not ever.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Kevin has me convinced of it. He’s got me starting regular therapy this week. I’ve never properly processed what happened, and he’s made me see that until I do, I can’t be what you need or deserve in a partner.”
“You can’t do that for me.”
“I know, love. I’m doing it for me first, but I also hope it’ll help to convince you to give me another chance. I want to make you happy. I want to continue to build a life here with you and make a family together. I want it all with you, Vic. If you’ll still have me.”
She wiped away tears that slid down her cheeks despite her fierce desire to keep her emotions in check. “I want all of that, and I want it with you. I want it so badly.”
“But?”
“Just yesterday, you didn’t want any of this, and now you do?”
“I wanted it then, too, but I was so wound up about everything from the past coming to the surface and having to confront something I’ve never dealt with properly. What happened yesterday wasn’t about you as much as it was about that. I reacted poorly, and after a very intense evening with Kevin, things are much more clear to me.”
Victoria wanted to take what he’d offered and run with it. She wanted that so badly, she fairly ached from wanting it. But the sting of his rejection was too fresh in her mind to leap without careful consideration.
“What’re you thinking, love?”
“I need a little time to process all this.”
“You can have all the time you need, but I want you to know one very important thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Any doubts I might’ve had were about me, not you. I’ve always known how amazing you are and how lucky I am to have met you.”
“That’s good to hear. It helps.”
“I have a suggestion.”
His lighthearted tone made her smile. “What’s that?”
“I assume you’re not working today?”
“You assume correctly. David gave me the day off.”
“Since I’m not working either, what do you say we spend this beautiful day together? We could pick up some lunch and go to the beach. We can talk some more about any of this if you want to.”
When Victoria had asked for some time, she’d wanted to spend that time alone. But his offer was too good to pass up. “Okay.”
“Can you leave your car here and come with me? We’ll pick it up later.”
“Sure.” Swept up in his effortless charm, Victoria was reminded of the night they met and the instant attraction she’d felt toward him. Nothing had changed since that memorable first impression. Even after what’d happened yesterday, he was still her favorite person to be with.
While he waited, she went inside to tidy up the sofa and to wash the mug she’d used. She left David and Daisy a note thanking them for their friendship and their sofa and let them know she’d be back later to get her car. Just in case the day with Shannon didn’t go well, she took the key David had left for her and tucked it into her purse.
When she was ready, she locked the door and followed Shannon down the steps to the driveway. Shannon put a helmet on Victoria and fastened the strap. The brush of his fingers against her chin sent off a riot of sensation inside her. That was all it took to make her want him. The first few months they’d been together, she’d assumed their crazy attraction would wane over time, but it had only gotten stronger.
Smiling down at her, he kissed her and then got on the bike. “Hop on and hold on as tight as you can.”
“You always say that.”
“I always like the way you feel wrapped around me on my bike.”
Victoria sighed because she loved him, even more so after hearing about the terrible ordeal he’d suffered through and somehow managed to survive. She had other questions and would get the answers she needed before she decided anything for certain, but she already knew she would give him a chance. How could she not after hearing what he’d been through and in light of the time they’d already spent together?
He’d come looking for her today, shared his pain with her, told her he loved her and that any hesitation he’d had about their relationship was about him and not her. He’d said and done all the right things so far.
For a day that had started off with such despair, things were definitely looking up.
Chapter 11
Shannon dropped Victoria at home and then went to the hotel to change and then to the grocery store to pick up lunch. His spirits had risen exponentially after talking to her, and he was more hopeful now that they would find their way back to each other.
Determined to do everything he could to convince her to give him another chance, he bought her favorite salt-and-vinegar chips as well as the chocolate chip cookies from the bakery that he knew she loved. Anything to make her happy, to put the big smile back on her face and to dry the tears that had rattled him because he’d never seen her cry before yesterday.
He hated being the cause of her tears and was determined not to give her another reason to cry over him. Leaving the grocery store, he returned to the house to pick her up for the beach. She had a beach chair that she wore on her back like a backpack and a bag that he strapped to the bike for the short ride to the town beach.
The beach was busy for a weekday, so they walked along the shore a ways to a more deserted portion of sand, where Victoria spread the sheet she had brought. Then she removed the cover-up she’d worn, revealing a skimpy black bikini. Had she worn that one because she knew he loved it? He hoped so.
After they ate the lunch he’d gotten for them, Shannon stretched out on the blanket next to her.
“Will you do my back?” she asked, handing him the sunscreen. She lay facedown, her head propped on her folded arms, her gaze trained on him.
“Happy to.” He took his time rubbing in the lotion on her soft skin. “You want me to do your legs, too?”
“Sure.”
Shannon continued the sensual massage on the backs of her thighs and calves, noting the way she squirmed occasionally as he touched her. When he was finished, he lay down next to her. “Return the favor?”
“Of course.” She gave him the same treatment he’d given her, and by the time she was done, he was hard as a rock.
Shannon ached so badly that he moaned.
Victoria giggled. “Everything all right over there?”
Delighted to hear her laughter, he said, “Are you teasing me?”
“Maybe a little.”
He turned on his side, facing her, so she could see what she’d done to him, watching as her gaze traveled from his face to his chest and then his groin, focusing on the huge bulge in his board shorts.
“I did that?”
Shannon scowled playfully at her. “You know you did.” He reached for her hand and linked their fingers. “I hated sleeping alone last night.”
“I did, too. I’ve gotten very used to sleeping with you.” Glancing up at his face, she said, “Could I ask you something else?”
“Anything you want.” Kevin had helped him see that to make it work with Victoria, he had to open himself completely to her.
“Are there other things I should know about you? Things I don’t know that I should?”
“No, you know all the big things about my life and my family.”
“I didn’t know you played rugby.”
“Past tense. That’s a young fool’s game. I’m too old now to take that kind of beating on a regular basis.”
“If I hadn’t forced the issue, were you ever going to tell me about Fiona?”
“Probably not. Again, not because I didn’t trust you with the information, but because it’s ju
st so damned hard for me to talk about it.”
“I understand.”
“I’m going to talk about it, though. I’m going to do the work with Kevin so I can be what you need and deserve in a partner. I want to be the guy who gives you your fairy tale, Vic, and I want to find a better way to deal with it for my own sanity, too.”
“It means a lot to me that you’d put yourself through that, in part for me.”
“In big part for you. The fear that I had lost you forever was a huge wakeup call for me. I hope you know that.”
“Do you ever, when we’re together, mistake me for her?”
He stared at her, seeming dumbfounded by the question. “Never. Not one time. Ever. When we’re together, Victoria, there’s no one else but you.”
“Will you…”
“What, love? Anything…”
“Kiss me?”
“God, Vic, there’s nothing I’d rather do.” Mindless of where they were, he moved closer to her and put his arms around her, sliding his leg between hers. He gazed at her lovely face for a long moment full of the best kind of anticipation before he laid his lips gently on hers. Shannon watched her eyes close and felt the tremor that went through her when he deepened the kiss, stroking her tongue with his. After a while, he pulled back but only so he wouldn’t get carried away, not because he wanted to stop kissing her. “Do you remember the first time we kissed?”
“Of course I do. We didn’t stop until we’d done everything.”
“Almost everything.”
“More than I’d ever done with a guy I’d just met.”
“We’ve been good together from the start.” He kissed her again. “If you give me the chance to make you happy, I promise I’ll give you everything I’ve got to give for as long as you want me around.”
She released a deep breath. “I’m probably always going to want you around, if for no other reason than I’m addicted to the sound of your voice.”
“Ah-ha, now the truth comes out. It’s all about the bloody accent for you, isn’t it?”
She dissolved into laughter. “Not all, but mostly.”
