by Lisa Daniels
Chapter 10
A Growing Misunderstanding
Kerensa woke the next morning feeling incredibly sore, but it took a few minutes to remember why. A few scenes from the night before played through her mind, causing the young woman to sit bolt upright in the bed. Her eyes immediately went to the part of the bed where she thought Heath would be, but he was not there. Feeling a sense of panic, the young woman looked around the room. The fire was roaring, but other than that, the room was completely still.
Springing out of the bed, Kerensa immediately stumbled, and nearly hit the nightstand with her hip. “Woah, stupid, slow down,” she muttered at herself.
The door flew open, “If I hear you say that one more time, so help me, I will teach you what stupid is.” Standing in the door was Heath, a dead deer in his arms. Looking down at the kill, he tried to hide it behind his back. A little shaken, he said “I wasn’t going to bring this inside, but I cannot just sit by and listen to you talk about yourself that way. Honestly!” With that he shut the door and the room fell quiet.
Kerensa looked at the door and said just above a whisper, “So you can hear me all the way out there?”
“Yes, but I am trying to make breakfast, so please stop trying to experiment on me and focus on learning to be nice to yourself. You are going to need it.”
The threat hung in the air as Kerensa looked at the door. Uncertain what he meant, the young woman sat back down on the bed.
The shifter called through the door, “There is a book you may enjoy in the drawer on the other side of the bed. That should keep you occupied until I am done. By the way, are you alright?”
“Uh?” she asked the door.
“It sounded like you hit the nightstand. Are you alright?”
“Oh, thank you I am fine.” She leaned over the bed and pulled the book out of the drawer. It was a journal written in a very elegant hand.
“Do you mean this journal?”
“Do you see any other books in the drawer?”
Kerensa looked again. “No?” her voice more of a question than answer.
“Then yes, the journal. It’s mine and I’m telling you that you can use it.”
“Oh, thank you. You have very beautiful handwriting. It is much prettier than mine.”
“I do not agree, but thank you.”
Kerensa began pouring through the journal. More than a couple of times she lamented not having a pen or something to write with, then she reminded herself that she could not scribble in this book.
She was about half through, when Heath entered the cabin with some meat. He moved over to the fire and began cooking.
“Would you like some help?” She asked as he fumbled with a few of the tools.
“You are a guest, so that would be quite rude to ask of you.”
Kerensa stood up and slowly made her way over to him, “It would be far ruder to expect you to cook for me. Clearly you were not expecting company, so I know you are doing this for me.”
Heath looked at her, his clear eyes causing her heart to skip a beat. An image from the night before ran through her mind and she forced her eyes to look at the pan. She picked it up and began to cook the meat.
“I didn’t realize they taught young ladies to cook.” Heath’s voice was close. So close that Kerensa imagined throwing the food down and starting where they had left off the night before. It was only through reminding herself what Heath had been through to get that food that she was able to keep cooking.
“They don’t, but I insisted on it. Obviously not because I thought I would want to cook my husband a good meal, but because I was interested in the reactions. The results were also quite delicious as often as not. Chadwick used to help me when I burnt something. He really is quite a good cook. How would you like your part cooked?”
“I’m not hungry. This is for you.”
Kerensa turned to look at him, “You must be joking. How big do you think I am? I can’t possibly eat all of this!”
“What about jerky? I hear people make jerky out of meat.”
Kerensa shook her head, “I have no idea how to make it. I think it has something to do with leaving it in the sun or something though. It’s not something I ever considered. Please eat.”
Heath shrugged and moved to the other side of the room. Kerensa tried to watch him to see what he was up to, but his back was to her. She frowned, but decided to try a few different approaches with the spices and sauces he had on hand. It was clear that he came here at least a few times a year as there were a number of items there. Upon closer inspection, she realized that none of them had been used before she opened them. Looking from the items to the shifter, she wondered when he had gotten them, but she was too afraid to ask.
Several minutes later she spoke up, “Alright. Come an eat.”
“I am fine, thank you,” the shifter’s voice was cold and firm.
“Yes, I can see that you are, but I made this for you, and I would appreciate it if you would eat it.”
“There is no reason to be concerned about my diet. Eat what you will, and take the rest when we leave.”
“Leave?” Kerensa could not hide her surprise.
Heath turned to look at her, “Of course. You didn’t think this was the final destination, did you?”
“No, I guess I just thought we would stay here for a few days.”
He gave her an incredulous look, “Why would we do that?”
“You just got all of these,” she pointed to the items she had used to cook.
“Those have been here for a while.”
“And no one had used them?”
Heath opened his mouth then closed it again. “Fine, I picked them up this morning, but not so that we could stay. I do have something I need to do.”
“Yes, I know something dangerous. Well, if it can’t wait, come and eat, then we will go.”
“I am not hungry.” If she hadn’t known better, it almost sounded like he was pouting.
Kerensa sighed, “You are right. I’m being stupid again aren’t I?”
No sooner were the words out of her mouth than Heath was towering over her with a huge frown on his face. “What did I tell you-”
“Good. Now that you are here, sit down and eat.”
The shifter looked at her, then at the range of differently cooked meat. With a sigh, he sat down and began eating a leg. Kerensa watched with a smile on her face.
The look on his face was less than kind as he said, “I thought we both needed to eat.”
“Oh, right.” Together they ate in silence.
Once the food was gone, Kerensa began to clean up the dishes.
“I can do that later,” Heath said.
“Are you that eager to get rid of me?”
“I would think you would want to get back to your family to let them know you are alright. If nothing else, Chadwick is going to be very worried about you.”
Kerensa waved a hand, “He will be perfectly fine. After all, you gave him something to do. Actually,” she turned and looked at Heath, “what was in the note you gave him?”
Heath shrugged, “It’s not something for you to worry about.”
Frowning, the young woman responded, “I am not worried, but I am interested in what it is you have to tell my father about me.”
“It is my contact information and a short recording of the incident.”
“What do you mean a short recording?”
Heath sighed knowing that it was going to be difficult to explain, “It’s one of the skills I have – a skill that some ice dragons have. When I want to offer proof over something, I am able to freeze a moment in time and it can be reproduced and viewed later. Given what was happening, I made sure to provide only a small part of the recording so that he could hear the admission, but not see what the cretin had done. I’ve heard that he has used a couple of the cards before, so there is some detail in how to contact me so that we can discuss it further. I expect that given your gender, you will need some ba
ckup. Of course, it is going to take them a while to get back because where they are going they will be stranded for a bit. Not a lot of merchants are up this way at this time of year. However, it was the only choice given the location and the need to get off of the water as quickly as possible.”
“My father can watch what happened?”
“Only a small bit. It’s like a shadow of events, and it can only be watched a few times before it is too faint to see. If he only plays it once, it may still be too faint to determine his guilt. That is why your father will be able to use the card. He just needs to press his thumb on my name and I will be notified. With that, I will set out to see him.”
“That seems….incredibly useful.” Kerensa looked at the shifter and marveled at a whole new world that she had never even heard of. And her dad was used to it. “But doesn’t that mean that you will have to drop everything and go to my father? You won’t even know when he will get the message.”
“Given everything he has done, I don’t mind,” there was a smile on Heath’s lips as he looked at Kerensa.
“What exactly has he done?”
Heath twisted his mouth and considered how to answer, “I really can’t go into everything. It is something that you should learn about from your dad. He had an interesting youth, which I am guessing you have not heard about, but his family forced him to settle down when he reached a certain age. He has remained incredibly active as many of us are willing to use whatever means required to stay in contact with him. We choose to go to him. Even when it is to help him, it is worth it. And in this case, it will be my pleasure.” He gave her a look, but Kerensa wasn’t quite sure what he meant.
With so many questions, the best she could manage was a short expression of surprise, “Wow, I had no idea. He was always amazing, but I had no idea.”
“Well, it certainly makes sense that he would want to let you have your own life.”
“He basically raised me.”
Heath tilted his head, his expression quizzical, “Didn’t you have a governess or something like that to take care of you?”
“Yes, but when I didn’t talk much, she assumed, like everyone else, that I was an idiot. When my father caught her procreating in my closet, he took over my care.” Heath’s eyes widened, but Kerensa kept talking, “When my mom finally decided to acknowledge my existence, he all but made it impossible for her to drag me into that life. With what you said, that makes more sense.”
Heath looked at her, his expression unfamiliar to her. “So you are the reason for what he’s been doing.”
“What do you mean?”
“He was quite bitter for a while, and he was unfocused, but then about 15 years ago he started to change. He had less time, but his advice was much more insightful. We had thought it was strange, and now I finally know the reason behind that particular mystery. It makes sense.”
Kerensa looked at the shifter and wondered how to respond. That was a lot of unexpected information, and she wasn’t sure exactly how the man in front of her felt about everything. Needing to get back on more familiar footing, she tried to bring the conversation back to where they had been. “So once Chadwick returns, my father will be able to call you to the home at any time?”
“Yes. I understand if it is a little awkward, so I will make sure you are not around to be uncomfortable.”
“What do you mean? Are you saying you plan to avoid me?”
The shifter frowned, “Is that not what you want?”
“What makes you think that I would want that?”
“Chadwick loves you.”
Kerensa stepped back, “What do you mean? He is just a loyal servant.”
Heath’s voice was soft as he said, “You underestimate his feelings for you.”
Kerensa laughed, “Don’t be foolish. He’s fine.”
Heath stepped up beside her and forced her to look at him, “He’s in love with you.”
Kerensa shook off the hand and looked up at Heath with her brow furrowed, “That is not true. Not even a little bit.”
“Have you not noticed how he looks at you?”
“He’s always looked at me that way! Even when we were small.”
“That does not surprise me. It is hard to change your heart when you truly love someone.”
“There is no way he loves me. I do not even know how many women he has been with. If he loved me, he wouldn’t be doing that.”
Heath shook his head, “He is doing it because he loves you. He doesn't think he deserves you, and so he seeks comfort elsewhere.”
Kerensa shook her head, “Not possible.”
Heath put his hand under her chin. Despite feeling anger, Kerensa could not help but shiver at his touch, and again images went through her head.
The shifter spoke, “You don’t need to worry, he loves you. You are strong enough to stand up for what you want. Don’t be too afraid to fight for it now, not when you can be happy.
“What?” Kerensa looked up into the shifter’s beautiful eyes trying to figure out what he meant. He had been saying strange things ever since she had spoken to him as a dragon. After what had happened, it made even less sense that he was trying to tell her that Chadwick loved her. That wasn’t what she wanted at all.
“Think about it,” he replied. Suddenly he turned and moved to the door. There was sorrow in his eyes as he turned to look at her, “I have a few things to do, but I should be done by the time you finish. Be careful until I get back.”
Chapter 11
After the Snow Fall
Kerensa did not know how long he was gone, but she was beginning to get concerned about what had happened to Heath. Snow had started to fall outside, and it was now coming down faster than she had ever seen it before.
When the door opened, the young woman nearly sprang off of the bed, “I was so worried!”
Heath looked at her like she was a new species, “You were worried about an ice dragon in the snow?”
“Oh, well, you. I didn’t know where you went. You could have gone anywhere and done something reckless.”
“I think you are mistaking my actions with your own. I’ve never barreled into a situation without thinking.” Heath moved to the fire and began to put it out. “Speaking of thinking, have you made your decision?”
“What decision?” The young woman couldn’t keep up with the change in conversation as she was still stuck on Heath’s disappearance after trying to rush her.
Heath’s eyes were like the ice outside, lovely cold as they bore into hers, “About Chadwick. It is clear you still love him, no matter how much you try to convince yourself you don’t.”
“What?” Kerensa looked at the shifter like he was speaking another language. “I don’t understand.”
Heath sighed, then moved over to her just as he had done so many times before during their lessons. “You told me that story yesterday. After you two kissed. It is obvious you still love him, but you are trying to hide it from yourself because you don’t think it will work. And if something is impossible, you don’t think it is worth trying. But I am telling you that it is not impossible. You just need to open up and let yourself believe that everything will be alright. I can assure you that it will be. You have the brains to make it work, no matter the obstacles.”
“Where did you get this idea?” Kerensa could not follow the shifter’s train of thought. It explained some of what he had said earlier, but she had no idea what Heath was trying to do.
Heath sighed as if the entire thing was a pain, “When I first met you, I thought you wanted to be a man. It seemed obvious to me that you felt more like a man than a woman. You would not be the first woman whom I have encountered who felt that way. I tried to help and support you so that you could become the man I thought you wanted to be. After yesterday, I realized that you wanted to be more, to do more, so that you could find a way to be with Chadwick.”
Kerensa pressed her eyes closed and opened them, thinking that she would wake from a bizarre dream.
“Is that why you insisted on calling me he and him, no matter who was around?”
Heath nodded.
“And now you are convinced that I am in love with Chadwick?”
Heath simply looked at the young woman.
Kerensa scratched her head trying to untangle her thoughts and feelings. “If you believe that I am in love with Chadwick, why did last night happen?”
“You had so many words to convince yourself that love was not worth it. The physical aspect of love is critical for lovers to be together. You needed to learn about the beauty of being physical so that you would stop fighting it.”
Kerensa simply stared at him.
Heath watched her for a moment before continuing, “Of course, it is nothing like what it will be when you are with Chadwick next. It will just help you be comfortable and warm with him. I can assure you that if you take the same passion and desire into your next encounter-”
Kerensa cut him off, “I can’t!”
“See? You are already saying you can’t instead of trying.” He took her hand in his, “Promise me that you will try.”
“Absolutely not!’ She pulled her hand out of his, “I am not in love with Chadwick!”
Heath sighed, “Why do you keep denying it? You are only going to hurt yourself.”
Kerensa stood up quickly as she protested, “I am going to deny feelings I do not have.” Her leg hurt, causing her to stumble.
Before she knew it, Heath’s arms were around her keeping her from falling. He was stroking her hair, his voice melancholic, “Please. I need you to be happy.”
Kerensa gripped his arms, “I am happy.”
“Stop fighting what you feel. I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”
“I am not fighting my feelings, nor am I hurting. I am right where I want to be.”
Heath’s hand stopped moving.
Kerensa felt her hands tighten around the shifter’s arm as she asked, “Why does my happiness matter so much to you?”
