by Annie Murray
‘Not yet. I couldn’t sell ’er out from under the nose of my father without ’im being there. Nor Joel. Mr Barlow said ’e could wait.’
‘So . . . you didn’t come the whole way single-handed?’
‘No. There’s a nipper come up with me this time. The Higgins family loaned me young Ernie. I left ’im asleep—’ For the first time something like a smile came to Darius’s weathered face. Maryann saw Nance watching him, intrigued. ‘That’s a trip ’e won’t forget in a hurry!’
‘How’s old Mr Bartholomew?’ Maryann asked.
Darius shook his head. ‘Mending – slow though. Oh, ta – very good of you.’ He nodded appreciatively at Nance as she set before him a plate piled with bread and butter and three fried eggs. Maryann’s plate held one and Nance appeared to be having only bread. Maryann raised an eyebrow at her.
‘’E’s ’ad a long night,’ Nance said, blushing. ‘’E deserves a good feed.’
They ate in silence for a time. Darius seemed ravenous and emptied his plate quickly, wiping up every last drop of yolk with the bread. Nance’s knife and fork looked like toys in his big hands. She nibbled at her bread, seeming fascinated by Darius. Maryann also found her eyes drawn to his face as she ate. Having him here was wonderful to her, like having part of Joel. Though they looked different, there was something about the way they both moved and in the tone of their voices that was similar. She felt proud that he had appeared. But she was longing to ask him, keep on at him – you can’t really sell the Esther Jane? You’re not really going to? And her heart ached. She knew how much this would mean to Joel, how much he would struggle with every ounce of strength he had to stop it happening if he were able. But now perhaps Darius would be left alone for ever. Perhaps Joel would never . . .
Feeling tears welling in her eyes again she tore her thoughts away and looked up at Darius. He’d drunk his tea and his eyes were drooping, his whole body sagging with weariness.
‘You need a sleep,’ she told him. ‘Would it be awright if ’e went up on my bed for a bit, Nance?’
For a second Nance looked put out, and Maryann knew she was calculating what Mick would have to say about this. But Darius would be gone long before Mick appeared.
‘’Course ’e can.’ She smiled warmly. ‘You show ’im up there, Maryann.’
Darius was dead to the world all morning. Maryann helped Nance around the house, glad to have plenty to do to while away the morning. She scrubbed the front step and helped with a load of washing, mangling it and pegging it out in the hazy sunshine, a shaft of which penetrated into the yard round the back where they were working.
‘On the cut they hang the washing out along the boats,’ she told Nance, shaking out a dress of her own before she pegged it on the line. It smelled rather harshly of soap.
Nance looked up, bent over the mangle. ‘Do they? Fancy—’ She frowned. ‘I always thought them people on the cut were just a bunch of gypos. But that Darius seems a nice man.’
‘They ain’t gypos,’ Maryann said hotly. ‘And they ain’t all rough. They just live a bit different, that’s all.’
Nance looked doubtful. ‘Very different, going by what I’ve ’eard. Still – some of ’em are awright I s’pose.’
‘Yes.’ Maryann still sounded cross. ‘’Course they are. You want to see for yerself before you start canting on about things you don’t know.’
‘’Eh – there’s no need to bite my ’ead off—’ Nance began mangling again furiously. ‘Bet you’d’ve said the same if yer didn’t know.’
Maryann took Mick’s spare trousers as they rolled through the mangle. ‘S’pose so,’ she conceded. ‘Sorry, Nance.’
‘That’s awright. I know you’re on edge.’
After a few moments, without looking up from the mangle, Nance said, ‘’E’s got a wife, I s’pose?’
‘No.’ Maryann was stretching up to the line.
Nance looked over at her. ‘’E ain’t married? Your Joel ain’t married. I mean they’re getting on, the pair of ’em. What’s the matter with ’em?’
‘There’s nothing the matter with them!’ Maryann snapped again, irritated by the way Nance said it. ‘Joel ’ad a sweetheart when ’e was young and she married someone else by the end of the War. I don’t know about Darius – they’re working almost every hour of the day and it ain’t that easy to meet up with anyone on the cut. You just don’t know what it’s like, Nance.’
‘No. So yer keep saying. I’m just surprised a man with ’is looks ain’t wed by now, that’s all. ’E looks a bit of awright to me.’
‘Does ’e now?’ Maryann teased. ‘Well – you’d better watch yerself then. Old married woman like you.’
She didn’t fail to notice the blush that rushed through Nance’s cheeks.
They had to wake Darius after midday. He emerged from sleep utterly bewildered as he looked round, then seeing Maryann, he sat up in a panic.
‘Is it time – are we too late?’
‘No – yer awright. Nance’s done us a bit of dinner, and then we’ll go.’ She gave her hair a hasty going over with her treasured brush she had had that Christmas at Charnwood. ‘Don’t worry – we’ll be in good time.’
Don’t worry! she thought later as she sat beside Darius on the tram along the Bristol Road. Well, there was a daft thing to say. The whole of her life was consumed with worry. She looked round at Darius. He didn’t look any too happy on the tram. It was quite full and she could sense how uneasy and out of place he felt.
Inside the hospital was even worse. He walked along the corridor beside her, tense and silent, looking about him. Maryann felt the usual sense of panic and dread engulf her as they approached the ward but she fought against it, determined not to show Darius how bad she was feeling.
At the door she forced herself to look along, her gaze racing to the spot where Joel had been lying all that week. For a moment she couldn’t take it in, could not make sense of anything, and then she saw properly as the room came into focus.
‘Oh—’ she gulped. ‘Oh, it’s awright, Darius – ’e’s still there! Come on.’ She found herself taking his arm, leading him down to Joel’s bed.
She had grown used to the sight of how Joel had become through illness and that his beard had gone, and she had not thought to warn Darius. The shock registered in his face. Plainly Joel looked a lot worse than when Darius had last seen him.
They went to the side of the bed and Maryann searched hungrily for any sign of change. Joel still lay with his eyes closed, his breathing shallow and laboured. Each time she saw him his body seemed more slight and the sight of him filled her with pain. He was disappearing. Slowly, inexorably, day by day, the man she loved was slipping away. Darius sat on the chair, cap in hand, staring at his brother in appalled silence.
Maryann kneeled down and took Joel’s hand, kissing it as she always did.
‘Joel? It’s me again – Maryann. And Darius – your brother – he’s here with me. He’s come all the way up from Banbury to see you – brought the Esther Jane out of Tooley’s Yard and she’s ’ere—’ On her own she often broke down talking to him, receiving as much reply as she would from a stone, but today she wanted to be strong for Darius’s sake. She looked round at him. ‘D’yer want to say anything to him?’
Darius leaned forward. ‘Joel. It’s Darius—’ He looked round the room distractedly, as if searching for the right words. ‘I ’ope you’re going to get better, Joel – on your feet soon, eh?’ He sat back, clearly at a loss, but his gaze never left Joel’s face.
‘D’you ’ear that, Joel? What Darius says? Please get better and come back to us. We all need yer – Darius and me and your dad and the Esther Jane . . . .’ More softly, she added, ‘And I love you, Joel – I do love you so much.’
It was then she felt it. Just for a second. She turned with a gasp to Darius. ‘He moved his hand! I felt it. ’E sort of squeezed mine – there, ’e did it again!’
‘Don’t ’e do that normally?’
‘No – no! I’ve not had anything out of him. Oh Joel – can you hear us?’
Again, a pressure round her hand. Then a faint fluttering of his eyelashes. She and Darius stood waiting, absolutely still. There was nothing more, though they waited on and on.
‘Nurse!’ Maryann was too emotional to be frightened of the nurse. The woman came over to her, her face grave, obviously steeling herself.
‘What is it?’ Her voice was sharp.
‘’E just squeezed my hand – a few times. He squeezed my hand!’
The woman’s face relaxed, looking relieved, then pleased. ‘Did he, now?’
Maryann left the hospital with Darius feeling like a different person. It had been a small thing, that tiny movement that told her Joel knew he was still with them, but it changed everything. They had hope, hope which lit the day brighter than the brightest summer sun.
‘I’m so glad it happened with you ’ere,’ she told Darius, who seemed to be grasping just how much this meant. ‘Oh – I feel so happy!’ She felt like shouting and singing. ‘Are you coming back to Nance’s?’
‘No – reckon I’ll get back to the boat.’
‘I tell you what, let’s take Nance to see ’er. We’ve got to go back that way any’ow and it’s not far. How about that?’
‘Awright. If that’s what you want.’ He smiled. ‘Reckon young Ernie’ll just be awake by now and starving ’ungry!’
Nance was all of a tizz when they got back and asked her to come out with them. ‘But I can’t – I mean I’ve got to do the dinner, and . . .’
‘Oh come on, Nance!’ Maryann chivvied her, untying her apron. ‘No arguments – you’re coming.’
‘Maryann!’ Nance laughed. She could see the change in Maryann immediately.
‘We’ll get some liver or summat on the way back – that’s nice and quick. It’s a lovely day today – you don’t want to spend it stuck in ’ere, do you?’
‘Well – if Mr – if Darius don’t mind?’
Darius shrugged. ‘I can stay ’ere a bit longer. If you want to come that’s all right with me.’
They walked out into the bright, hot afternoon. Darius told them he had tied up not far from Farmer’s Bridge and Maryann led the way through the streets of buses and trams and hurrying people, which seemed to be as foreign as a jungle to Darius.
‘Did you bring her up empty?’ Maryann asked him.
‘Oh no – I got a load on grain into ’er – unloaded that this morning.’
‘There she is!’ Maryann cried as they reached the spot. The boat sat high in the water. ‘Ooh, she’s looking nice, Darius – much better than when I saw ’er before.’
‘She’s ’ad a good going over,’ he agreed. ‘And a lick of paint. She was in a bad state before. Only we ’ad to keep getting ahead – there was never time.’
Young Ernie Higgins was sitting out on the bank beside the boat chewing on an apple. Darius helped Nance on board and Maryann followed.
‘Oh my – it’s tiny in ’ere!’ Nance said, peering into the cabin. Astonished, she turned to Darius and Maryann. ‘D’you live in ’ere – all year round?’
‘Got nowhere else,’ Darius said. ‘That’s it – home to us.’ He smiled, obviously enjoying her amazement.
‘And you lived on ’ere an’ all?’ she said to Maryann. ‘Where on earth did yer sleep?’
Maryann took great pride in showing her the cabin, where they slept and cooked and old Mrs Bartholomew’s crochet work, almost as if she’d been born to the life and wasn’t a newcomer ‘off the bank’ herself. Nance sat at the tiny table.
‘It’s like playing doll’s ’ouses!’ She laughed. She was more light-hearted than Maryann had yet seen her. ‘I’ve never seen anything so tiny. And it’s ever so clean – not like them dirty old joey boats. Ooh – ain’t it nice?’
‘There’s nothing like it,’ Maryann said, taking a seat beside her. She looked round contentedly. Darius had had time to polish the brasses while he was at Tooley’s Yard, and the cabin was fairly clean too. Her eye still picked out a lot of things that needed doing. It felt like her home.
‘Oh Nance—’ She squeezed her friend’s hand. ‘Joel’s going to get better. I know ’e is! This feels like the happiest day of my life!’
‘I’m glad for yer,’ Nance said sincerely.
Darius poked his head through the door of the cabin and smiled. ‘I’ll brew up a cuppa tea, shall I?’
He seemed to enjoy their company and was far more relaxed now he was back on the cut, having come through the ordeal of going to the hospital. They sat drinking tea – Darius and Nance perched at the stern, Maryann sat half twisted round on the cabin step. Darius told Nance about the life and how they worked. Maryann could see she admired Darius and he was at ease with her, seemed to like her. She made him laugh. And Nance basked in the sun, her pale, thin body seeming to relax and become more youthful away from home. Maryann saw Darius looking at her often. If only things were different, she thought, I do believe these two might’ve had something. But it was no good thinking of that. She thought bitterly about Mick. Shame you could never see what was just round the corner.
‘Now I’ve seen Joel,’ Darius was saying, ‘I’ll go looking for a load tonight – get off in the morning. I’d thought I might ’ave to be here longer, if . . . but I’ll get ahead for a bit. Keep ’er going. There’s nothing I can do ’ere for now.’
‘Oh – I wish I was coming with you,’ Maryann said.
‘I almost wish I was from what you’ve told me.’ Nance laughed. Maryann hadn’t heard her laugh like that in ages.
‘Ah well.’ Darius smiled. ‘God knows, you’d both be welcome. I could do with more hands on board. I s’pose we’ll manage though.’ He nodded his head towards Ernie. ‘For now.’
Thirty-Eight
‘Don’t tell ’im where we’ve been, for God’s sake,’ Nance implored later as they got the tea ready fast and furiously. They’d stayed too long down on the cut and had had to run back, via the butcher’s. The prospect of Mick’s fury if everything wasn’t ready when he got home set the pair of them off and the cooking became a joke. Maryann was chopping onions frantically at the table. Nance was so dithery she dropped the liver on the floor so it had to be washed and then she got the giggles.
‘Oh, look at that! What’d Mick say if ’e saw me throwing ’is tea on the floor!’ Her laughter almost got the better of her as she mimicked her husband’s indignation, swaggering and waving a piece of liver around in her hand like a weapon. ‘“Sure I don’t see my dinner ready. What sort of a wife is it who can’t even put a meal on the table when a man walks through the door!” Oh my Lord!’ she spluttered. ‘I don’t know what’s got into me!’
Maryann was laughing just as much, her eyes also streaming from the onions. She was bubbly with relief and hope over Joel, and really happy to see what difference a little break had made to Nance, who looked younger again suddenly, face pink from the sun and full of mirth under her mop of black curls. They were both laughing so much that for a few minutes they were incapable of cooking anything at all and the liver and onions lay untouched on the table.
A rattle at the door sobered them instantly.
Nance gasped, horrified. ‘’E can’t be back already!’
But the door didn’t open.
‘Must be someone else,’ Nance hissed and crept over to open it. ‘Oh – ’ello, Tony love.’ She started giggling again with relief. ‘’Ow’re you? Come on in. Don’t mind me.’
‘S’Maryann there?’
Maryann experienced a flutter of pleasure that he had come to find her. My brother. He had clearly just got off work again and was as grubby as the last time she saw him.
‘Awright, Tony – ain’t yer coming in?’
He looked awkward and anxious at the same time. ‘Can yer come out – just for a bit?’
Maryann looked doubtful. ‘Can you manage, Nance?’
‘Yes, go on – I’ll get on quicker without yo
u setting me off.’
She walked with Tony down to the end of the street, passing men on their way home from work, a few kids playing out. Smells of cooking drifted from the houses as they walked along.
‘I thought you were going to bring Billy to see me,’ she reproached him.
‘Not this time.’ Tony seemed tense.
‘What’s up?’
‘I know where ’e’s living.’
Maryann didn’t need to ask who. ‘You went to see him?’
‘No. Course not. I followed ’im home. ’E does just what ’e did when ’e was with Mom. Leaves and locks up just the same time, quick pint and ’ome. ’E lives up behind the park in Handsworth.’
‘And has a shop on the Soho Road? An undertaker’s?’
‘It’s an undertaker’s, but it ain’t under the name of Griffin. ’E set ’imself up under a new name: Arthur Lambert. ’E’s made ’isself a new life awright.’
‘The slimy . . .’ Maryann began, but Tony interrupted.
‘T’ain’t the main fing though. After I followed ’im home I waited for a bit to see if I could see anyfing. I daint see much, but when it was getting dark this woman come and shut the curtains at the front.’
‘Woman – what, you mean . . .? Could be a landlady, couldn’t it?’
‘Could be. I dunno. But then, when I was getting fed up, nuffing to see – I s’pose they’d been ’aving some tea – the door come open and two girls came out and went off down the road.’
‘Girls?’ Maryann stopped, full of foreboding. ‘How old?’
‘Couldn’t see for sure. Younger’un me.’
Maryann felt herself swell inside with suspicion and fury. ‘Oh no – oh Tony, d’yer think . . .?’
Tony shrugged. ‘Dunno – couldn’t make out anyfing else.’
‘No. Course yer couldn’t.’ She felt sorry he was involved. He was still only a kid, even if he was tall and muscular and doing a man’s work. He shouldn’t even have to know any of this. ‘Look – thanks, Tony. For doing that.’
