by Naomi West
I glanced down at him from my standing position, crossing my arms over my chest. “I know all of you are angry, as we should be. But we have to be angry at the fuckers that did this, and not the Boss.” Even as the words came out of my mouth, they felt hollow.
Loyalty is all that matters. If I turn against Kelly, it could mean my life and Josh’s. So, loyalty it is. I just hoped my loyalty would save me from whatever fallout was coming.
“We need to stick together in this; if we make this work, the cartels will set us up for the rest of our lives.” The men grumbled in response, but the killing rage that infected them seemed to be dissipating. They craved the money and the stability even more than they wanted Kelly’s head, and I would just have to use that to my advantage. “Just reacting without a plan won’t work; we need to figure out how to get back at the bastards that did this.”
I managed to redirect their rage, making all of them angry again, but this time at the right people. It turned my gut to have to defend Kelly. All of us knew he was wrong to put our people in danger like we were expendable. But I didn’t have a choice.
None of us had a choice. Kelly had seen to that.
Just as I got the men to walk away, Ivy walked into the door looking dazed. I winced; she was the last person in the world I wanted to see. But here she was, looking like a scared rabbit, her eyes fluttering all over the damn room. She didn’t see me, but I certainly saw her, my eyes drawn to that body like a goddamn magnet. Ivy was like gravity to me, and I knew there was something deeply wrong with how much I wanted her.
But Ivy didn’t come looking for me; she immediately went to Pearl, helping Patrick patch her up. Then, much to my surprise, she continued to help, walking around to every single one of the injured men. She was like some sort of angel, and each of her patients blinked up at her like she was too bright for their eyes.
I wanted to go over to her, shake her, scream in her face. How could Ivy be so blind? She didn’t belong here, among us bikers. She didn’t belong with the gang. She was too weak; this life would chew her up and spit her back out, leaving her even more broken and bleeding than she was right now.
Glossy curls fell down to her shoulders, her coffee eyes glittering with determination. She had never looked so beautiful. I could feel myself harden at the sight of her. There was a kind of steel in her that I’d never seen before. Her shoulders were squared against the blood and the wreckage.
After she was done nursing everyone she could help, Ivy sat down next to Pearl again.
I wanted to go over to her, to say something, anything, that would make her leave forever. But I couldn’t think of anything to say that she would take seriously. I couldn’t think of a single damn thing that would scare her off. I’d tried everything that had worked in the past, but every time I turned around, she was there again, haunting me.
I’d just made my mind up to go talk to her when Kelly walked in the room.
I could feel the undercurrent of hostility at Kelly’s appearance, a stupid smile on his face. Everyone seemed to be growling under their breath as he paraded into his beaten and broken home, his lips stretched in a smile that looked insane. “Good afternoon, everyone!” he announced, holding his hands out like some sort of announcer at a carnival. “I have great news. The cartel has promised us a brand new house, just as long as we make their deliveries for them starting Tuesday. The whole thing is already bought and paid for; all we need to do is hold up our end of the bargain.” He rubbed his hands together, his eyes a little too wide. “The lovely Christine has promised!”
A ragged, half-hearted cheer went up through the crowd. My eyes flicked back to where Ivy and Pearl still sat. They both looked like statues in the corner, their eyes hard and their mouths pressed together in eerily similar ways. Pearl whispered something to Ivy and she sneered, not taking her eyes from Kelly’s face.
I turned back to the front, determined to keep my eyes and my mind off of Ivy. “Alright, boys; let’s figure out who is going where,” I yelled, bringing in the attention of most of the gang. The boys gathered around, making it easier not to glance back at Ivy.
“We’ll need seventeen drop-offs in two days; we’ll set out and inform the network of our plans. Does everyone know their assignments?” The group collectively nodded, most of them looking a little less unsure and a little more determined. Ice filled my chest as I watched them all nod along to my instructions like trained animals. We shouldn’t be doing this. “If any of the small timers have a problem with the new products they’ll be pushing on the street, rough them up, but not too much. We have a lot riding on this and can’t lose any of our street guys if we can help it.”
The men all nodded, looking resigned and sober. I turned away from them before they could see the helplessness in my eyes. I was caught between this rock and that hard place, I wasn’t sure I was making the right choice. But what else could I do? I walked over to Ivy, my feet practically dragging me over to the corner where she sat.
“Ivy,” I said, gruffly, my voice rough and nearly unrecognizable with tension. She looked up, her eyes searching and finding me as if drawn by gravity. I winced at the emotions in her gaze, turning away before I could identify any of them. “Despite what I said this morning, I need you to take Josh home. I want him away from all this now. He needs to rest.”
Something had hardened in her face when I turned back to her. The rush of emotions in her eyes stopped, leaving nothing but a stoic kind of distance. As though she had somehow turned from a weakling to something made of steel in the last few seconds. Shaking my head, I walked away, not wanting to think too hard about Ivy’s sudden strength.
“Best for who, I wonder?” Ivy answered, quietly, her voice shaking just a little. I turned back, surprised, my eyes finding hers. “This is insanity, Creed. You are risking your son, the lives of your men, and your own life and for what?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Ivy,” I whispered, my voice deadly quiet. She needed to shut her mouth before she drew the attention of someone more loyal to Kelly than I was. Talk like this would get her killed, especially since she was an outsider.
Perhaps realizing the danger, she lowered her voice, but she didn’t back down. Her shoulders squared, Ivy leaned into me rather than wincing back like I expected. “You’re so focused on your loyalty to Kelly that you can’t see past your own idiocy. You can’t see the forest for the trees. And if you don’t think about what you’re doing, Josh is going to be the one who pays the price for you.”
Ivy glanced away, her hard expression turning to a brilliant smile. “Are you ready to go home, Josh?” she asked, her voice suddenly back to normal.
Josh had dark circles under his eyes and he looked a little like he might pass out where he was standing. “Yeah.” He yawned hugely. “We watched seven movies!”
Ivy held out her hand, and I watched in dull surprise as Josh reached out to take it without hesitation. “Seven? Wow, were they scary?” she asked, leading Josh out of the clubhouse, their fingers tightly knit together.
“Not as scary as this,” Josh said, his eyes a little too wide as he looked around the warehouse. “This is…”
“Don’t worry, kiddo,” Ivy answered, a little too loudly and a little too cheerfully. “Your dad is going to fix it. Just you watch.”
But I had no idea how to fix it. Feeling defeated, I turned back to the men. It was time to start the transition, and I would be needed to help keep the street kids in line.
Chapter Nineteen
Ivy
Josh looked pale, his little hands clutched hard to mine. I wasn’t sure if it was the scene at the clubhouse that had him so shaken or if it was all of those zombie movies that Bax no doubt subjected him to. Perhaps it was a combination of the two. I had to work not to grind my teeth in anger at Bax for bringing Josh around. I was even angrier at Creed.
But Josh had to come first, at least for now. “I have a good idea; you want to go to the Burger Busters and get some f
ries?” I dug through my pockets, finding a ten, a five, and a handful of change. “We can probably get something pretty yummy with the money your dad gave me.”
A little spark lit up Josh’s eyes, glittering in the depths of those coffee-colored eyes. “You mean it?”
“Sure. Just as long as you don’t go crazy. Come on; it’ll be fun.”
A genuine smile spread across Josh’s adorable, dirty little face. “Awesome! I want two burgers!”
“Two burgers it is then.” I chuckled, glancing down at him. “I’m pretty sure you can’t eat two whole burgers by yourself, though.”
“I can too!”
It was a short, ten-minute bus ride to the closest Burger Busters, leaving us plenty of time to argue over who could eat more from the value menu. By the time we reached the restaurant, Josh looked much more relaxed. He even smiled a few times, most of the tension seeping from his body. Hopefully, Creed does something about all this, before it gets worse.
We sat at one of the plastic tables, ignoring the rest of the patrons and the profanity scratched into the cheap laminate of the chairs. Josh took too big bites of his sandwiches, his tiny cheeks puffed up and looking like a chipmunk’s. After a moment, he paused, setting down his burger and wiping the ketchup from his mouth with the back of his hand. “So,” he said finally, his chocolate eyes locked with the table. He fidgeted in his seat, bringing his feet up underneath him before standing, then sitting properly. He repeated that process a few more times, his eyes never once coming to rest on my face. “Do you think Pearl will be okay?”
“Pearl is a very tough lady. I’m pretty sure she’d survive almost anything.” I smiled down at him, dipping a chicken nugget into one of the little plastic containers of honey. “Pearl will be just fine, Josh.”
Frowning, Josh pulled apart his sandwich, eating each layer individually. “Do you think my dad will be okay?”
I sighed, wiping my hands on the scruffy jeans I was wearing. “I think your dad is caught in the middle of a lot of other people’s problems. But he’s a tough guy; I believe he’s going to be okay.” Josh didn’t quite look convinced, so I smiled as brightly as I could manage at him. “But no matter what happens, you can stick with me, okay? We’ll figure it out together.”
“Thanks, Ivy,” he whispered. After a moment’s hesitation, he dug back into his burgers, that ravenous hunger returning after I laid whatever worries in his young mind to rest. I wish I could be convinced of things so easily. “Can we go home now?”
I gaped at him in mock horror. “But you haven’t finished your two whole burgers yet!”
He giggled, his little chocolate eyes lighting up like fireworks. “I’ll bring them and eat them, promise. I just want to go home.”
My heart crumbled into little pieces as he looked up at me pleading. He danced in place, his sneakers squeaking on the dirty linoleum floor. “Sure thing, kiddo. Anything you want.”
So we bundled up our food and headed back to the bus station. Josh filled me in on all of the horrifying details of the horror movies he watched the night before, and I didn’t have to pretend to be disgusted. Horror movies, especially horror movies where people eat other people, had never been my favorite genre of the movies.
Josh was mostly himself again, if still a little subdued, on the bus ride home. No matter what Creed says, I can’t leave him alone like this. I’ll just stick with him until he’s not so spooked anymore. I’ll take whatever screaming Creed dishes out; this is more important than whatever is going on with him.
The walk back to the motel was long from the last bus stop, but Josh didn’t complain. He seemed to like being outside better than inside. It was no wonder; out here, he could run and fidget and play, all things he had no room for inside that stuffy motel room. Even though the sky was overcast and the world a little monochromatic under the dense carpet of clouds, Josh found what little color there was to be seen in the smog and the industrial dust of the poorer part of town. I envied him a little; there was nothing here I found beautiful. No, all of the beautiful things in life had disappeared when Janice took my shop.
We started across the parking lot, hand in hand, when something strange caught my eye. There was one of those nondescript white vans in the parking lot. Which was odd; who would be here this time of day? Most of the residents here didn’t own a car, and those who did didn’t park it in front. That was a surefire way to have your car end up on blocks with the muffler removed.
With a quick glance, I noticed two things that bothered me: the van was full of men, and those men seemed to be watching us walk across the pavement. My heart hammered in my chest. Oh, calm down; now you’re acting paranoid. What would anyone want with me? Or even Josh, no matter who his father is?
So I forced myself to take a deep breath, ignoring the niggling feeling in my belly that I was making a horrible mistake.
“Ivy,” Josh whispered urgently as we started up the stairs. “Those men are following us.”
Panicked, I started to run up the stairs, nearly dragging Josh along by the arm. I could see over the railing of the motel’s hallway that he was right. They had all gotten out of the van the moment we walked by. A few carried rope. All of them looked incredibly mean.
I ran the rest of the way to Creed’s room, locking the door the moment we were inside. Out of breath and panicking, I pressed my back against the door. Josh fumbled around under the bed as I took a deep breath. The darkness of a full-blown panic pressed in around my edges, quivering in all of my muscles. I tried to think, but couldn’t think of anything to do.
Given who lives here, I can’t even call the police.
So it was up to us.
“Josh, we’re going to climb out of the window onto the fire escape.” I ran over to where he was still digging under the bed, pulling on his shoulder. “We need to go now.”
“It’s okay, Ivy,” he said, his voice muffled by the mattress. He stood up suddenly, his tiny hands filled with the black, cold metal of some sort of handgun. I gulped as he rather expertly loaded the gun.
“No, Josh. You’ll hurt yourself, or me. There are more of those guys than you have bullets. We need to run!”
Josh turned back to me, keeping the gun steadily pointed away from me and toward the ceiling. “Don’t worry, Ivy; we’ll take care of all of them.”
I didn’t like how steady his voice sounded. The kid spoke like he’d killed someone before. His little hands didn’t even tremble around the loaded gun. Panic spilled up over my calm facade. My screaming brain cursed Creed in the most colorful of terms. “We can’t! We can’t! We have to run!” I grabbed for the gun, my hand closing around his hands. I yanked back hard on the firearm, hoping to dislodge it enough to get Josh to drop it.
Noise clamored up the stairs outside, and both of us froze. Josh let go of the gun and I dropped it, praying it wouldn’t go off and hit one of us in the feet. My heart trembled in my chest as I stooped, grabbing Josh and the gun from the floor as I spun toward the window. Swinging my arm hard, I smashed the gun into the window, glass shattering out onto the fire escape outside. Someone fumbled with the door handle as I pushed Josh out of the gaping hole where the window once was.
Pushing myself up onto the ledge, I cried out as glass stuck into my hands, but I managed to scramble out of the window anyway. Josh was already booking it down the stairs as fast as his little legs could manage, sliding around the rails with the liquid grace I couldn’t hope to manage. I heard the door shatter behind me but was too scared to turn around and look. I tumbled down the first flight of stairs, tripping over my own feet and slamming hard into the railing. Blood spilled down my hands as I glanced behind; no one was on the railing just yet.
But there would be someone soon.
Careening down the stairs, I caught up with Josh. He was pushing all of his weight against the drop-down safety ladder at the top, slamming his little fists and feet against it with all of his might. He didn’t possess the leverage or the weight to dislodge it
. “Josh!” I said urgently.
He stepped aside, his face filled with disappointment at his inability to help. His eyes grew wide as he glanced above us, his eyes darkening with real, tangible fear. So I wasted no time in slamming my boots down onto the ladder as hard as I could manage.
The ladder slammed down into place with a sound like a shotgun blast. A few heads poked out of open windows, eyes wide, only to duck back inside. They were smart to keep away from us. I hoped against hope that someone would help us, but a quick look up as we climbed down the stairs made it pretty clear that everyone else in this rotting shithole was never going to do anything to help any of us.
And who stuck their necks out for anyone anymore?
But it didn’t matter. We had to get out of here, with or without help. Several men were climbing down the escape after us. Josh stumbled away from the parking lot as his feet hit the pavement. I followed, my breath short and my heart thundering. “Which way should I go?” Josh yelled over his shoulder, his voice already breathless.
