by Lori Whitwam
The weight of his lower chest was on her pelvis, and she squirmed, helpless to control the need for more pressure there. Her shorts felt confining, and they were getting wetter by the second. The hair on Seth’s chest teased at her midriff as he slid lower, arousing every inch of her flesh along the way. She almost cried out when he nibbled his way along her hip and to her thigh rather than go directly to the center of her need. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and reminded herself to breathe. His teeth nipped at her inner thigh, and only his grip on her hips stopped them from arching from the mattress.
Seth’s hand skimmed inside the leg of her shorts, and he caressed her with his thumb. She felt a rush of moisture, and she dropped her hand to his, urging him further. Finally, he relented and eased her shorts down her legs and onto the floor. He parted her, his fingers tracing along her crease from bottom to top as she shivered with pleasure.
He retraced his fingers’ path with his tongue, focusing his attention on the swollen bud, which Abby was certain could no longer take “wait” for an answer. He slid his finger into her while his mouth worked its magic, and Abby brought her hands to her breasts, adding to the swirl of sensation. She felt him zero in on the pulsing spot within her, and knew she wasn’t going to last much longer. She tangled her fingers in his hair, urging him on, as her hips began to move in time with his caresses.
A strangled cry escaped her, and her muscles contracted around his fingers as the wave crested higher and higher, until she was sure it was impossible to survive the coming crash. Then it broke and roared over her, singing through her blood and stealing her breath. Seth’s rhythm slowed, encouraging the last shudder from her body, as he drank her in.
He licked his way up her abdomen until he was once again positioned directly above her. His lips found hers again, and she encountered her own salty sweetness. She reached between their bodies and tugged at his waistband until he disposed of the boxers. Abby’s manual investigation of the night before had been woefully brief, given her exhaustion, and she planned to correct that mistake right now.
Fingers barely encircling his girth, she stroked him from base to tip, and let her thumb swirl around the dampness she found there. She marveled at the way he filled her hand. “Mmmmm,” she murmured. “I thought so.”
“Thought what?”
“Nothing. That wasn’t out loud.”
“Yeah, it was.”
“Well, let’s just go on record as saying I’m pleased.” She wrapped her legs around Seth’s hips, making it very clear she was done talking for the moment.
Positioned at her entrance, Seth moved into her, a smooth, steady penetration, and she opened to receive him. She was still soaked and quivering from her climax, and the sensation of stretching around him brought her close to another peak.
He kissed her deeply as her hands played across the firm, taut muscles of his back and down to his hips, pulling him tightly inside her. He began moving, withdrawing almost completely before plunging again, and Abby had to interrupt their kiss to get enough air into her lungs. He balanced above her, looking into her eyes, his hair tenting their faces, and his pace increased. Every bit of her was straining to be a part of him, needing him. She shifted her legs higher around his waist, seeking any way to accommodate more of him. A second and more intense orgasm claimed her, surging through every nerve ending in her body.
Her legs tightened around his waist, a long, satisfied moan vibrating from her throat as her head fell back. Seth buried his face in her neck, and with a final thrust he tensed and stilled. His release flooded her, his groan blending with her own.
Still tangled together, they collapsed on the mound of pillows, as Abby’s breathing and pulse slowly returned to normal. Seth’s touch skimmed over her, and her entire body hummed with pleasure. She caught his hand and brought it to her lips, letting the delicate skin of her mouth map the strong fingers with their calloused tips.
Her body was languid and satiated, but her mind was chugging away, concerned about things she was too nervous to bring up. They’d had sex now. Toe-curling, nerve-flaming, these-sheets-are-never-going-to-be-the-same sex. But was that all it was? She had no reason to expect more, wasn’t even sure if it was a good idea, but the alternative would ultimately be demeaning. For both of them.
Seth curled a finger under her chin and tilted it up so she met his eyes. “Darlin’…”
Her stomach bottomed out. This must be where he’d tell her it was nice and all, but he had to be going.
“Darlin’, this is not just a hookup.” His sunlit hair framed his face, which bore the most intense, holding-nothing-back expression Abby had ever seen. “At least, it’s not for me.”
Maybe she should’ve been insulted, if he were implying she brought strange musicians home and screwed their brains out on a regular basis, but she knew it wasn’t what he meant. “I hoped not. It’s not for me, either.”
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, the relief she saw there was nearly overwhelming. Had he really thought she didn’t care about him?
He said, “If that’s all I wanted, I wouldn’t have come here. Not with you, not like this. I wouldn’t do that to you.” His thumb stroked along her jaw. “You couldn’t know it, but I don’t live my life that way. Never have.”
On some level, she thought she did know. But it was still nice to hear. “So, this is…?”
“More.” His lips brushed hers. “A lot more.”
Her heart stuttered. Enough heavy stuff. She gave herself over to kissing Seth for a while, and they lay there, warm and content.
“I’m not sure I can move,” she sighed.
“Well, when you’re able, let’s have some of the coffee I smell. We can rendezvous back here as soon as possible, because I think we’ll both be due for a nap. Or something.”
“Excellent idea.”
With the motivation of caffeine, Abby eventually forced her legs to comply and made it out of bed.
Seth retrieved his boxers while Abby rummaged in her closet for a robe, following the aroma of coffee to the kitchen.
Abby just filled their cups when Seth said, “Hey, I think your dog wants in.”
“I don’t have a dog.” She handed Seth his coffee.
“There’s one on your deck.”
“Oh. Dilbert. But he’s not my dog.”
She went to the French doors and opened them, letting the medium-sized black dog into the room. She filled a bowl with an assortment of leftovers and dry dog food from a container under the sink. Dilbert licked the bowl clean in under twenty seconds.
“He kind of looks like your dog.”
Abby shrugged and stooped to retrieve the bowl. “He showed up about six weeks ago. People dump dogs around here a lot, with the asinine notion they’ll ‘find a home in the country.’ I’ve been feeding him.” She took her coffee and went to the couch, picking up last night’s discarded shirt and throwing it toward the hallway. Dilbert promptly fetched it, so she stuck it between the sofa cushions.
Seth sat beside her. “What happened to his eye?”
Abby looked at the angry pink scar tissue bisecting where the dog’s left eye should have been. “Your guess is as good as mine. A branch, maybe, or barbed wire. Maybe even a scratch from a coyote or something. It was a mess when I first saw him, but I took him to the vet clinic where Molly works, and they patched him up. We think the fur will cover most of the scar eventually.”
“But he’s not your dog.” A dimple appeared on his right cheek, as the corner of his mouth quirked.
“No. My neighbors on the west side of the lake, the Nygaards, feed him too. They’re the ones who named him. He spends a lot of time here, though, because I let him inside more often than they do.”
“I love dogs, but I’ve never had one,” Seth said. “My dad didn’t have any interest in them, and being on the road so much isn’t exactly ideal for a dog. I tried once, a Boston terrier named Herschel, but things were wilder then and I knew it wasn’t fair to him
. I ended up giving him to my sister.”
“David took my dog in the divorce,” Abby said, thinking if the asshole had let her keep the gentle collie, she wouldn’t have gone after quite so much of his money.
“How’d he get away with that?”
“Because Duffy was his dog before we were married, so technically he owned him. But I worked at home, and for three years I was with him twenty-four-seven. I loved him. David didn’t. He only took him because he could.” Her throat tightened with the memory of yet another loss.
“Not to be nasty or anything, but he sounds like a real bastard.”
“No doubt about it.” Had David cheated on Joyce the way he’d cheated on her—with Joyce? If the day ever came, Abby knew she’d spend a great deal of time tracking down the perfect greeting card for the occasion. She might even make one herself.
The attention shifted to Dilbert, and Abby immersed herself in the sweet dog’s joyful affection. A few minutes later, her robe liberally dusted in dog hair, she stood and said, “Let’s go outside and let Dilbert show you around.”
“Sounds great, but can I throw a few things in your washer first?”
The extended road trip had probably left him with a whole bagful of stuff needing some freshening, and Abby went to the laundry room to make sure she didn’t have a forgotten load incubating mold before telling him to go ahead. Seth grabbed last night’s shirt then took his duffel bag to the spare room and sorted through it, throwing an armful of items into the wash.
They took their coffee and some bagels out onto the deck, though Abby thought the clothes they’d put on were taking her further from the bed than she’d prefer. The morning sun glinted on the water, and a family of ducks paddled along close to shore. The forest around her smelled of new growth, and birds flitted from branch to branch as they called to each other. When he figured out he wasn’t getting any bagels, Dilbert bounded off through the underbrush in search of something small and furry.
Seth’s arms encircled her from behind, so she put her coffee cup on the railing and leaned back against his chest.
“How much of this is yours?” he asked, as one hand played languidly over her ribs.
“Just six acres, over that way,” Abby said, indicating off to her right. “The Nygaards own most of it, but there’s a cabin on the north side, a guy from Rochester who’s only up here some weekends and about two weeks during the summer. Usually it’s pretty quiet. Let’s get Dilbert and we’ll take a walk around.”
Abby called the dog, and he returned immediately, tail waving and his single eye fixed on her, awaiting instruction.
He led them to the shore, and Seth held Abby’s hand as they turned up a narrow path angling back into the woods. They walked through the cool, shady acreage, and she showed him some of her favorite spots. There was a tiny brook trickling its way toward the lake over moss-covered rocks, a leafy patch of thimbleberries, and a hollow tree that was home to a plump, entertaining squirrel.
As they wandered, she wasn’t surprised to find herself paying more attention to him than the familiar landscape around them. She loved seeing him in her world, and had to give herself a few mental shakes to believe he truly was here with her.
They finally reached the far side of her property. “That’s all of it. It’s not huge, but without a bunch of other houses around, I can go for days without seeing anybody. It can be annoying when the cabin people are up here, but they make up for it by doing fascinating things like getting drunk and falling out of rowboats.”
Seth chuckled. “But don’t you worry about being so isolated up here? What if something went wrong?”
Abby had certainly heard this particular statement before. “I have my phone, and the Nygaards are retired, so they’re usually around if I need them. If we have really bad weather in the winter, I go stay at Mom’s house in town till I can make it back out here.”
Seth nodded, but a slight tightness at the corners of his mouth indicated her explanation didn’t completely eliminate his concern. They followed Dilbert back toward the lake, where he ran along the shore, barking at the ducks.
“He never gives up,” Abby said. “He chases them, but they can outswim him or fly if he gets too close. He thinks it’s important to keep trying, though.” She had to admit she admired his good-natured determination.
She led the way to an Adirondack-style bench situated slightly back from the water. The sun drew the chill from her skin, and she was warmed further by her proximity to Seth. She pointed out the Nygaards’ house, and the cabin on the north side of the lake. “You should see it in October.” Despite trying not to think too far ahead, she wondered how many times she’d see him between now and then. Thinking about it made her head hurt, so she stopped.
The ducks abandoned Dilbert, and he retreated to the edge of the trees to crunch with obvious pleasure on a stick. Though she was enjoying the tranquil moment, Abby said, “We should probably head back up to the house, don’t you think?” She definitely wanted to spend some more time with him in her bed. Or on the couch, the floor, the deck, or the breakfast bar. She wasn’t inclined to be picky right now. This morning might not have been the first orgasms for which he’d been at least partially responsible, but they were the first for which he was actually present. She didn’t intend for them to be the last.
Instead of starting back up the path, Seth gathered her to him for another spine-melting kiss. Plans for immediate departure evaporated. Just as she was reaching the seriously hot and bothered stage and adding “lakeshore” to her list of acceptable locations, Seth pulled back. His eyes mirrored the lake as he looked off into the distance, and he seemed to be struggling to find words for something he wanted to say.
“What is it?” she asked.
He brushed his fingers along her cheek before taking her hand. “This is going to sound crazy, and I’m sure it’s going to come out wrong, but let me try, okay?” She nodded her agreement, though tendrils of apprehension curled upward from her stomach. “In the past, I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions. For a long time now, I’ve avoided making any at all.”
“I’ve done that too.”
“I guess, for me, nothing mattered enough to bother. But now, all of a sudden, it does matter, and that happened when I met you.” He held nothing back in his direct gaze.
Abby couldn’t believe he was saying something like this, let alone so soon after they met. It was wonderful, yet disconcerting, and she attempted to lighten the tone of the conversation. Or possibly derail it. “You mean when I ran over Cujo?”
“Yeah. And when I managed to resist the urge to strangle you right there, I knew there was something going on. I had to find you, talk to you again, and everything since then…well, it’s been right. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve never been so sure of anything.”
So much for tone lightening. While it was amazing to hear, it was also making the vein by her right eye throb again. “Sure? What are you sure of?” Maybe she didn’t want to know. Not when her mind was still so chaotic.
He took a deep, shaky breath and squeezed her hand. “When I have to leave Minnesota, I can’t go without you.”
Abby’s “tendrils of apprehension” morphed into pythons and squeezed the air from her lungs. She knew she shouldn’t say anything yet, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Whoa. Back the truck up. Aren’t I, in the role of the girl, supposed to be the one saying stuff like that? And don’t guys usually run screaming for the horizon when we start talking about the future?” Her voice trembled, but she was fighting down the rising tide of panic.
Apparently this was not an acceptable response, because his spine stiffened and he dropped her hand. Abby’s throat tightened, realizing she’d managed to hurt him.
He stood and walked to the edge of the water, facing away from her. Dilbert trotted over, bringing his splintery stick, hoping Seth would throw it into the water for him to retrieve. He reached down and stroked the dog’s head but declined to accept the stick, so Di
lbert returned to the shade to continue his gnawing.
Seth turned, still not facing her directly, and scuffed one toe on the rocky ground. His jaw flexed, as if biting back words he didn’t dare allow to escape. His voice, when it came, was ragged. “Abby, this is not a joke. It’s not some stupid fucking line. And I believe you know that.”
“Is this what they call being swept off your feet? Because if it is, it’s not at all like I imagined.” Damn! Why couldn’t she shut up? It was like her mouth was falling down the stairs.
“Call it whatever you want,” he said, looking at her again. “I know it’s nuts. I sure never expected this.” His voice was choked with emotion, clear evidence of how much it was costing him to be so open about how he felt. “Hell, I don’t even know what ‘this’ is. But I do know it feels like a turning point, maybe the biggest one of my life, and it’s all about you. I can’t figure it out—we can’t figure it out—if we’re not together.”
The constriction in her chest eased the tiniest bit and she went to him. She placed her hands lightly at his waist, needing to touch him. She would not cry. While it was a reasonable response to her turbulent emotions, she didn’t want to make this any worse than she already had.
“You know what you’re asking, right?” She hoped he really did understand what giving up the emotional anchor of her home would mean, if she agreed to do this, because she wasn’t sure she could find the words.
“I do, darlin’, and I hate putting you in this position. But I’m not the kind of guy who can feel something like this and not let it show.” He put one hand at the small of her back, not quite an embrace. “We have to find a way. I need to be in Austin next week. I have to go back out on the road, and the thought of leaving you behind, seeing you for a day or two here and there, damn near kills me.”
“I’m scared,” she whispered.
Seth drew in a long, deep breath. “I know. I am too.” His lips brushed her hair. “Look, I’m staying for a while, right? So let’s take some time and work this out, okay?”
