“Anyway,” I said, getting back on track. “I tiptoed in and peeked around the corner. I saw Duck choking you, and I thought making a commotion was the best thing to do. I went back and shoved the door as hard as I could against the wall and yelled. Duck took off out of there so fast, he nearly knocked me over. When I looked around the corner again, I saw you moving, so I knew you were alive. I ran out after Duck.”
Keith yelled out, “And that’s when she ran over Duck, because he’s a schmuck!”
“It’s a long story,” I said. “I won’t bore you with the details, but you might be interested to know he was riding a motorcycle. I couldn’t stop in time when he flopped it, and I ran over his legs. He won’t be going anywhere for a while.”
Darby and Susan both looked flabbergasted. Darby leaned into her and said, “It sounds like something you would have done.”
After Susan punched him on the arm, she asked, “Is that everything then? Is there enough evidence to convict Duck of setting all the fires?”
Glenn came over and slipped his arm around my waist. “There is,” he said. “There’s enough information on the phone to tie him to all the fires – even the nursing home fire. He was a fool for not deleting his messages. There’ll be more arrests made if we can identify some of the numbers – or if he confesses and gives up the others involved.”
“What about Reggie’s murder?” Susan asked.
“We’ve got a handle on that, too,” Glenn said. “I can’t talk about the details, but let’s just say Duck may never see the light of day again.”
Susan looked lost in thought for a few moments. “It’s a good thing I had your card to give to Mrs. Rorski,” she said to me. “She really did save me.”
“What’s with everybody and cards?” Darby asked. “Does everyone in this town have a card?”
There was a sudden flurry of activity as everyone who hadn’t yet given Darby a business card hurried to get one for him. Keith ran into the house to get his.
The conversation had left me with a feeling of unease. Everything had worked out last night, but what if Duck had been armed? Or what if he hadn’t run for it and attacked me, too? I wasn’t strong enough to fight off a large man. I needed some type of protection.
I let out a loud sigh. What I really needed right now was more pie. I walked back to the dessert table and cut a slice of the peach.
I knew deep down some of my unease had come from Darby mentioning the name Bailey. It was the name of the woman Alan had left me for, and it had momentarily brought him to mind. Valentine’s Day had been our favorite holiday, and he knew how to do romantic in a big way. I was happy with my life now, but I couldn’t help the good memories with Alan that came to mind every now and then. Sometimes I wallowed in them. Other times, I forced myself to remember how he used to humiliate me in front of his friends about my weight gain, and how much I hated him at times.
I looked over at Glenn and tried to imagine being married to him. If this morning had been any indication, we would be good together.
He appeared to be engaged in a friendly argument with Mama, and I realized she was telling everyone about seeing Carl Montgomery’s winky-wonker last week.
“Ew,” Kelly said.
I walked over to stand next to Glenn. “Mama, you’re inappropriate,” I said.
Keith ran back into the garage, waving a business card he had just made. I heard him tell Darby that he helped me solve crimes, and he liked to make people laugh. I could imagine what the card said – Keith Swenson, Comic P.I.
I looked across to Susan at the dessert table. She was holding a plate with a slice of pie. As she lifted her fork to take a bite, the pie rolled off the fork and down the front of her sweater. I couldn’t hold back a loud, “hah!” It was satisfying to see she was capable of a food malfunction, too.
I walked into the kitchen with my empty plate and tossed it into the trash. Mama followed me.
“You look nice today, Jo” she said. “You looked nicer before the blueberry stain, but you look rested for a change. I take it Glenn spent the night.”
“I wouldn’t know.” I said. “I went to bed late last night and he was in the kitchen making breakfast when I came downstairs this morning.”
“Well then, you got some nookie before you came over here, because you got that look like you got some nookie.”
I held back a smile and forced a frown. “I certainly wouldn’t tell you if I did. It’s none of your business.”
She made clicking and clucking noises with her tongue to indicate she knew she was right about the nookie. I changed the subject.
“Mama, I’m not bowling with you every week. I’m too busy with work to fill in for someone for the rest of the season. You’ll have to get someone else.”
“I already did. I knew I couldn’t count on you. Pepper’s going to fill in.”
“I thought Pepper was busy with her Sally Lou parties.”
“Not anymore she’s not. Sally Lou is being sued for copyright infringement, or trademark infringement, or some kind of copycat infringement by some other makeup company, and they have to shut down. Pepper’s out of business.”
This was news to me. I hadn’t heard anything about it, and Pepper hadn’t said anything. Maybe Mama was misinformed.
“Did you get a sponsor for your bowling team yet?”
Her eyes lit up, and she made one loud hand clap. “Yes, we did. We got us a good one. Rotating Rooters.”
I frowned again. “The sewer guys? The guys who come to clean out your pipes when you clog them?”
“Yep. They’re giving us new shirts next week.”
“But their logo has a toilet on it.” I said.
“I know. Beggars can’t be choosers, and we think it goes well with our diaper theme.”
Glenn walked in to rescue me.
“We’re talking about diapers?”
“I guess they’re all the rage right now,” I said. “Even Keith had one on last night.”
He looked confused, but I didn’t offer an explanation. My car popped into my mind. “Why isn’t it good for your engine if you let your car idle too long?” I asked him.
“Who said it was?” he asked.
“Mama did when I was learning to drive.”
“No I didn’t,” she said.
“You most certainly did,” I countered. “You told me that more than once, and I’ve been turning my car off and freezing my tush off while I spy on George Graham.”
“The only reason not to let your car idle is to save gas,” Glenn said.
“Yeah. What he said,” Mama said. “Everyone knows it wastes gas to let an engine idle.”
Pepper came into the kitchen.
“The party’s in the garage,” she said. “What are you guys doing in here?”
“Mama taught you how to drive,” I said. “Did she tell you not to let the engine idle for long periods of time?”
“Yeah. She said it wasted gas.”
Glenn tried to hold back a smile. He grabbed Mama by the arm and said, “Estelle, why don’t you and I try some of that pie everyone seems to be getting all over their clothes?”
She was delighted with his attention and went happily with him into the garage.
“Wait here,” I said to Pepper.
I went into the living room and picked up a gift I had slipped behind a chair when we first came in. I took it to the kitchen and handed it to her.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” I said.
A big smile crossed her face. “You didn’t need to get me a present. I don’t have anything for you.”
“I know, but I thought you might like this. Open it.”
She ripped the paper away to reveal the Snoopy fishing pole I had rescued from Roger’s flea market table. I waited for nostalgic tears of joy to surface. Instead, she held it up with a puzzled look on her face.
“It’s yours,” I said. “It’s the one you had when you were a little girl. Mama’s been giving our things to Roger to sell,
and when I saw this on his table, I grabbed it. I knew you’d want to keep it.”
“This isn’t mine,” she said.
“Of course it is. How else would Roger have gotten it?”
“I don’t know, but Keith has mine up in his bedroom. He has a magnet on the end of it. He glues metal washers on his army men and then he fishes for them from his bed.”
I burst into laughter remembering how unpleasant I had been with Roger when I snatched the pole off his table. He must have thought I had completely lost my mind.
“I stole this from Roger,” I told her. “I guess I owe him an apology and twenty dollars.”
She laughed and said, “I went over to Mama’s weeks ago and grabbed the things I wanted. If you saw anything that was mine on one of his tables, it was because I left it for him.”
“Mama just told me about Sally Lou. Is that true? Are they out of business? Just like that?”
She looked disgusted. “It’s like they never existed. Orders aren’t being filled, money isn’t being returned, and commissions aren’t being paid. I’m going to take the money I squirreled away from previous showings to pay back the ladies who ordered from the last show. Other than having enough makeup samples to last the rest of my life, it’s all a wash.”
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I know how much you enjoyed hosting the parties.”
“It’s ok. I didn’t like going out in bad weather in the evenings, and I think it would have eventually taken too much of my time, so it’s probably for the best. You coming back out?” she asked, pointing toward the garage.
“I’m going to wash my hands and try to get some of this blueberry stain out before it’s permanently set. I’ll be there in a minute.”
I slipped into the half bath off the kitchen and did my best to use hand soap and hot water on the smear. It was lighter, but I doubted it would ever fully come out.
A loud knocking sounded on the front door. What was it with people and banging on doors this week? Whoever it was had better not be looking for me.
I opened the door to an older, attractive man with a moustache. He held a present in his hands. “I’m Max. Bee invited me. Is she here?”
I introduced myself and led him into the garage. Just about everyone knew who he was and offered some type of greeting. He handed the present to Aunt Bee. She was positively glowing. Once again, I felt completely out of the loop with my family. I had no idea Aunt Bee was seeing a man again.
Pepper and the kids began passing Valentine’s Day cards out to everyone in the room. Gifts were revealed from hiding places.
Glenn whistled to get everyone’s attention. “We all know how much Jo wants a gun,” he said.
I maintained a smile, but I flinched inside when everyone groaned.
“I have something for her that’s better than a gun.”
He grabbed a box with a big red bow from behind a stack of boxes and handed it to me.
“It better be a taser,” I said.
I lifted the lid and was thrilled to see a digital camera. I pulled it out of the box to show everyone.
“You can’t do proper surveillance without a good camera,” he said. “If you would have had this last night, you could have taken pictures of Duck trying to kill Susan. And you could have taken a picture of him getting away on his motorcycle instead of running him down. It even has a zoom function.”
I knew he was teasing, but it was a great gift. Taking pictures with my cell phone wasn’t getting the job done. Most of my efforts were blurry with unrecognizable subjects.
I gave him a hug and a kiss. “I love it,” I whispered. “Thank you. I have a present for you, but it’s over at the house. I’ll give it to you later.”
“You’re present enough for me,” he said and pulled me closer for an even deeper kiss.
I would normally be uncomfortable with such a public display of affection, but everyone was in their own little world as they opened presents and engaged in a few smooches of their own.
Several minutes later, Susan walked over to us.
“We’re going to head for home now, but I wanted to tell you that the woman from the garage in Hapsburg threatened me. She thought Darby and I were married, and she said if he didn’t stop snooping around, we would never be able to own a car again - they would always be stolen. She has my address, so she knows where I live. I told her we was going home, and she’d never hear from us again, but I’m still concerned.”
“There’s nothing to worry about,” I told her. “Jackie and another reporter are investigating and have the situation under control. It might take a few weeks before they have everything they need, but Ed, his garage, the police chief, and the mayor are all going down for the scam they’re running.”
Pepper handed coats to Susan and Darby, and I realized I would probably never see them again. It had been a rough week for Susan, but she couldn’t have been nicer through it all. I marveled at her fortitude, and I felt a glimmer of friendship toward her.
“Did I see you wearing fuzzy pink slippers last night?” I asked her.
“Yes. Mick bought them for me for Christmas. Why?”
“Mine are orange,” I said and gave her a wink.
Pepper laughed loudly. “You two could be sisters!”
There was a sudden burst of activity as everyone said good-bye to them. Jackie boxed an uncut cherry pie and insisted Susan take it home to her family. Darby seemed genuinely sad to say goodbye to everyone. Mama was nearly in tears and threatening to drive the ladies from Rita’s porch up to Carbide City this summer to visit with him and sit on his porch. “I’m looking forward to it,” he said.
Pepper walked them to the door. I gave in to hunger for something other than sugar and grabbed a sandwich off the table. I looked over at Glenn. He and Matt were sitting together discussing their plans for this year’s Fourth of July fireworks display. The Fourth would almost be the one-year mark for Glenn and me. I had a good feeling if we could make it to a year, it would be smooth sailing after that.
Pepper came to stand beside me. “Weren’t they such a nice couple?”
“They’re not a couple,” I said.
“You know what I mean. They were just so nice. I really liked Susan. When do you want to go back to Slimmer’s and join?”
“Never,” I said. I simply couldn’t do another weight loss program. “I know you have your heart set on it, but it’s not for me. I’m sorry.”
She looked like she was going to cry. I sighed and hung my head. She was going to guilt me into joining just like she always did.
I looked up and saw her smiling. “I knew you wouldn’t do it. I went back and joined by myself last Thursday. I’ve already lost four pounds.”
“Why do you torture me like that?” I asked, but I smiled. “I’m glad you like it. Good for you.”
“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asked.
“I’m on George Graham all day. I have to catch him with someone, or find out for certain that he’s not having an affair. It’s terrible to hope for him to be cheating, but that would be easier to prove. Want to come with me?”
“I can’t. I’m taking the kids to COSI. They have ocean and space exhibits right now, and we’re covering both in science, so it’s perfect. I thought you might want to come with us.”
“Can’t. George’s overactive libido is the only science I want to encounter tomorrow.”
Keith stood in the middle of the garage and blew a whistle. He held his Grandpa Swenson’s fedora hat in one hand. It was filled with papers.
“Charades,” he said. “Choose your teams. I’m with Aunt Bee and Max.”
Glenn and I moved our chairs next to Mama and Roger. She may be maddening, but overacting and being overly expressive made her crazy good at charades.
Glenn slipped his arm around my shoulders. I settled comfortably against him while we waited for everyone to take their seats.
Keith went first. He held his palms up flat and looked back and forth between them.<
br />
“It’s a book,” Mama yelled.
He nodded a yes and held two fingers up.
“Two words,” everyone said.
He held up one finger.
“First word,” everyone said.
He cupped his hand behind his ear.
“Rhymes with,” Pepper said.
He squatted down and began walking while flapping his arms.
“Rhymes with duck!” Mama yelled. “Huckleberry Finn!”
Everyone laughed. Keith had more than likely planted quite a few papers that rhymed with the word that was going to have him rubbing his grandmama’s feet for a week.
I smiled at Glenn. It was going to be a fun evening.
Chapter Fifteen
Someone should have prepared me for how boring it was to run surveillance.
My eyelids were heavy, and I had allowed them to close more than once. The harder I struggled against sleep, the angrier I became. Surely, there were tricks to staying alert. Why hadn’t Arnie taught them to me?
I stepped out of my car and into the cold air. I wasn’t really mad at Arnie, but I couldn’t control my crankiness. I had to discuss this with him. I could feel the blood buzzing in my veins from all the coffee I had already consumed, and it wasn’t helping one bit.
Maybe reading the boring manual for my new camera three times had lulled me into a sleepy haze.
But I knew the heavy fatigue was really from staying up late and being active with Glenn. We had so little time together, and it was rare when we could spend a night together. We took advantage of the time by sleeping as little as possible.
Yesterday had been the perfect day with him. He fit in well with my family, and Mama’s eccentricities were endearing to him.
After we left Pepper’s party and walked back over to my house, we grabbed a couple of beers and snuggled together on the sofa to watch a movie. Before he hit the play button on the remote, he asked, “Where’s my present?”
“What present?”
“The one you said you had here for me. Are you sure you want me to press play? Or did you want to play?” He raised his eyebrows up and down in a teasing manner.
Murder Welcomes You to Buxley Page 16
