"He's asked about you several times, you know."
I looked up to see Jasmine watching me intently. Quickly, I averted my eyes and pretended interest in a nearby table of rowdy but handsome men. My phone number hadn't changed. As far as I was concerned, if he worried about me, he could have called.
Jasmine released a long sigh. "He's not one to talk about his feelings. Too much of an alpha for that. But I know him well. Underneath that hard exterior, he's mushy when it comes to you."
Deciding I couldn't dodge this discussion with her, I opted to get it over with. "I think he's made up his mind when it comes to me. I'm in his past, not his future." I tugged nervously at my pink top, then grabbed the end of my braid to pluck at stray hairs.
She shook her head. "He's stubborn, but he'll come around."
I shrugged in lowly acceptance. "I'm human and won't live long enough for that to happen."
Before she could retort, I excused myself to go to the ladies' room. She let me go with a nod. "I'll watch our drinks."
I didn't know whether to take my time and enjoy the escape from such difficult questions, hoping the conversation would completely change topic once I returned, or to hurry back lest she come up with more material related to my presently defunct relationship with her brother.
Returning from the bathroom, I twisted and bent my way through the crowd, heading toward the table she'd commandeered for us. Picking up parts of conversations, I didn't pay much mind until one particular phrase caught my attention.
"Tyger said she can't teleport worth shit. The alpha helped her get back to that house."
"That's what happens when you let a human, a woman at that, think they have some skills. Piss poor skills at that. Have to bail them out each and every time," another voice agreed.
I swung around to see who spoke. Two blond-haired men sat at a nearby table, obviously discussing the incident and my part in it. I could only recognize them as part of the male dominated mob that night in the bar, meaning they were part of the Familia.
A lump lodged in my throat.
I knew Meat didn't believe in me. He'd stated that bluntly on the night those wolves kidnapped his sister. In front of every male shifter in a one hundred mile radius. No wonder the pack members spouted such conclusions. Maybe they were right too. Maybe I had fooled myself in thinking I actually teleported and hit my target when my back was plastered against the wall. The alpha surely had powerful magic and more than likely picked the image from my mind, using it to home us in on the abandoned house. The more I considered the revelations, the more they rang true. They didn't need my help to save the day. They solely needed the image from my mind. After that, I was dispensable. A useless human.
Anger coiled in my gut as I pushed my way through the crowd. As much as I wanted to tell those men off, I preferred not to make a public scene and ruin Jasmine's party. No. Much better to simply leave than confront gossip-spreading shape shifters.
I stumbled up to the table. Jasmine turned to me, her smile fading quickly to a look of concern. "What is it?"
I could only shake my head. "Noth… nothing."
"What happened? Did someone say something to you?" She stood up, her movements crisp and jerky with agitation.
"I… I just don't belong here. I'm sorry." No sooner were those words out than I made a beeline for the door.
Only when I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road, did I release a pent-up breath and unclench my teeth.
Humans and shape shifters were simply too different. Nothing I could do would change that fact. A relationship that at first looked bright and promising now appeared destined for failure from the get-go. Inter-species dating didn't work for a good reason.
With a weary sigh, I drove home.
No sooner had I tucked the boys into bed and kissed them goodnight than Jessica waited for me in the hallway. I glanced her way, then left the room, closing the door carefully behind me.
She didn't speak until we sat down on the living room couch. "What's wrong? It's written all over your face."
"I overheard some jerks talking at the club." Poking on the television, I absently thumbed through channels.
"I presume about you?"
"Yep. Questioning whether I really did teleport to find Jasmine or if Micah used his abilities to get the job done, making me a simple tool." Agitation reappeared. I sucked in a slow deep breath, trying not to let the buzzards get to me.
Jessica nodded. "I see." For a moment she watched the television screen. "Seems to me, what they think shouldn't matter."
Bumfuzzled, I turned and met her gaze. "Huh?"
She shrugged. "You don't know them. They don't know you. Why should what they think and believe matter? You're the one suffering because you're letting them get to you."
"It's hard to ignore a whole conversation when my name and reputation is completely maligned."
"True." She tapped her lips with a manicured finger. "If they whispered about your clothing choice, even that you had no fashion sense, would you be upset?"
"Not really. I don't follow fashion, never will. As long as I'm decently covered, I really don't care what people say."
"Then why is it different with your teleportation?"
"Because everyone always questions my abilities. It's a source of irritation."
"Perhaps they hit a nerve because you're insecure and question your own skills."
"Probably. But they were rude, laughing about it."
"It's rude to spit on the sidewalk or curse in public. Do you make a beeline for those people or sulk afterward because you were offended?"
"Well, no."
"Then it sounds like the issue isn't with the rude shifters, it's with your confidence and self-esteem. By listening to their garbage, you feel inadequate and take their words to heart."
The light bulb clicked on. Jessica made a good point, one I'd never considered. "When did you get so smart?" I grinned at her.
She snorted. "You wouldn't believe the counseling I get stuck with running the sex shop. It would make your head spin."
Now that made sense. My piddly confidence when it came to my magical abilities probably paled in comparison to some of these odd people with big time sex hang-ups.
I gave her a tight hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
She grinned back. "Let's not find out. I haven't caught the man of my dreams yet."
"Got one in mind?"
Jessica nodded.
"Dare I ask?"
Her gaze traveled the room before she leaned in close to whisper in my ear. "He lives right down the hall."
My mouth fell open. "Bas?"
"Shhhh. Yes."
"Oh, my." My mind whirled with delight.
"Not a word. Promise me."
"Promise." I crossed my fingers over my heart. "If there's anything I can do to help…"
"I'll let you know." With a flash of a smile, she headed back upstairs.
Chapter 9
"Come on, Shyanne. Gym time."
I grumbled under my breath and finished typing the final paragraph of a report. Normally I didn't play transcriptionist, but the company needed more help, and I could use more hours to beef up my paycheck. Luckily, PPD had its own daycare and allowed the boys to stay all day for a minimal charge as I worked.
"Time's a wasting." Cannibal sauntered over to my desk and stared down at me.
The sounds of keyboard pecking stopped abruptly with Cannibal's appearance. Glancing around the room, I found four sets of eyes locked on the tall, dark-haired Enforcer. More than one woman licked their lips in obvious appreciation.
Cannibal, despite his surliness, garnered plenty of attention from the workforce, mainly the women but even a few of the men. His large frame carried abundant muscles, grace, and power while his carriage spoke of absolute confidence with a healthy mix of arrogance thrown in. His personalized shirt could read, "Badass and proud of it." While not snooty, he kept to himself, remained aloof, and became the source of a litan
y of rumors due to the mystery that surrounded him. He made an excellent specimen for eye candy. Unfortunately, I felt no sparks between us. Friendship and caring, sure. I need you more than I need my next breath… nope.
"Okay. Okay." Saving the document, I quickly shut down my computer. Once the screen went black, I grabbed up my purse. "Lead the way."
The corners of his mouth hitched up. "Enthusiastic as ever." He spun around and strode down the hall, not stopping until he reached the door to the employee workout room.
I followed along dutifully, already cringing in anticipation of the soreness and bruises I'd carry home after this session. Heck, I wasn't even sure the ones from two days ago had time to heal yet.
"Remind me again why I'm doing this?" I walked through the door he held open, headed to the far mat, and dropped my purse against the wall.
For all intents and purposes, we had the area to ourselves. Two other men worked out on the weight machines far across the spacious room, both vaguely familiar Enforcers. The closest one stared for a long moment until his gaze landed on Cannibal. Immediately, he switched machines, jumping on the arm curls, which faced the opposite direction.
"You've been clobbered twice in the past few months. At this rate, you'll be dead before the year is out. Since I would hate to have to train another gopher when you're already marginally housebroken, I decided you needed some self-defense lessons."
I shot him a small grin. "I knew you cared."
He snorted. I giggled.
For a brief moment, his lips twitched and his eyes sparked with amusement. "On the mat. Let's run through what you learned last time first then I'll show you some new techniques."
Thirty minutes later, I groaned with the effort to lift myself off the mat and back into a fighting stance. My legs wobbled, arms trembled, and my butt stung from more than one hard landing on the cushioned mat.
"You've got to move faster with that spin and kick. Otherwise, your opponent will predict what's coming, slam an arm into your back, and…"
"Send me flying to the ground like you just did?" I panted in an effort to catch my breath.
"Exactly. Now, do it again."
He approached from the front. I ducked away from his long reach, spun, and nearly landed my foot in his gut. Nearly. Instead, I found myself flying toward the earth. On instinct, I grabbed the closest thing in reach, Cannibal's shirt, and held on for dear life.
Rip.
I sat on my bottom and stared up at Cannibal. His shirt now hung from his body where a large portion had been torn out. Said portion dangled from my hand. "Oops."
For a long moment, I ogled his broad chest and six pack abs, the tantalizing view held my attention. I'd seen his chest before. Not to mention his version of Mr Happy, which was quite impressive in my limited experience. As long as I stared and appreciated, no belly flips happened. Shy parts might have taken notice but they soon returned to a state of dormancy. No arousal, no need. No sparks. Darn it.
Cannibal squatted down to my level, studying my face. "You still love him."
I didn't even bother to ask who he spoke about. "Why do you say that?"
"If you didn't, we'd still be in the Himalayas having a threesome for the record books."
My mouth fell open.
"And you'd be sitting there in wet panties."
I took inventory. While sweat beaded on my forehead, my panties felt dry as the Sahara desert.
"I…"
"Have you fixed your relationship with that overgrown tomcat?"
"No." I shook my head and looked away.
His hand cupped my cheek, bringing my focus back on him. "Are you going to?"
I shrugged. "I've tried, but he's not cooperating."
"When you give up on him, give me a call."
I blinked at him. "You want to date me?"
A rueful grin crossed his face. "Date? Sure. Sleep with you? Hell, yeah. Marry you? Absolutely not."
My mouth opened and shut without words emerging.
"Don't get me wrong, baby. I'm a short term opportunist, not long term material."
"Ohhh." I couldn't wrap my mind around Cannibal's confession. He wanted me. For sex. In a limited capacity for a short period of time. The fact blew me away.
"You fall out of love with that asshole shifter, let me know." Leaning in, he brushed his lips across mine, offered his hand, and pulled me to my feet. "Now, do that spin again. Faster."
Chapter 10
A day later, life threw another twist my way.
The boys had just gone to bed when a knock sounded at the door. I peeked out to find Ducian, one of the local vampires and an erstwhile friend, standing on my doorstep. My heart thudded and mind raced at all the possible horrible reasons that would bring him to my doorstep.
"Hi," I whispered with concern.
He looked at me with puzzlement before apparently the light bulb flashed on. "No need to worry. I'm just here to say a few things."
"Oh." I gestured with my free hand. "You want to come in?"
With a nod, he strode through the doorway, waited for me, then followed until we were both seated on the couch. He declined my offer for something to drink, probably since I didn't have any blood bags in the fridge in preparation for a vampy visit, then sat for a long moment, staring at his clasped hands.
"I… Charity and I…" He stammered to a halt.
"Broke up because of me," I finished for him, my head hanging at the remembrance of my actions.
"Yes."
Taking a breath, I interjected, "I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back. I really do. Never did I intend to hurt anyone. I…"
He reached out with one finger, placing it on my lips. With a smile, he continued. "Let me finish. Okay?"
I nodded until he dropped his hand.
"I was angry, at her. At you."
I sighed but remained mute.
"But then Charity and I began to talk to one another. Cautiously, hesitantly, but gradually, we've built our relationship up again. We worked through our anger, some major issues that stood in our way." His hand moved to rest on his knee while he used the other to finger-comb his blond hair. "I began to realize that without you letting the cat out of the bag, we probably wouldn't be together today."
I met his gaze, unsure.
"That's right. You're the catalyst that we needed to get through some rough times. Charity believes that too. She probably still wouldn't have told me the truth to this day." He gave me a sincere smile. "I still have some hurt feelings, but I know that because of what you did, Charity and I are in a better place than we would have been without you."
A ghost of a grin crossed my lips. "I'm very glad to hear that." As much as I was happy for him, it still left a wound in my heart to think they made it through as a couple while Meat and I didn't. "What made you decide to go back to her?" Curiosity got the best of me.
He shrugged. "When the anger died down, I realized that I truly cared for her. And I felt we were worth a second chance."
"How'd you know it would work out?"
"I didn't. I just felt I had to give it one more try." Ducian shifted on the couch. "Nothing worth fighting for comes easy, you know."
I'd heard those same words not too long ago. From Jasmine.
"I've been meaning to tell you that for a while now. Thought I would see you at the club some night." He gazed into my eyes, and his voice softened. "I heard what happened with Meat's sister. I'm sorry."
"Thank you. She's safe, and that's what counts." I uttered the words that a noble person was expected to say. Look at the silver lining, put others before yourself. Yeah, but it still felt like a butter knife sawing off chunks of toes each time.
"I can speak to him for you."
Blinking, I looked away. "I don't think there's any need. He… I…" I shrugged. "Thank you, but I think when it comes to me, he's already made up his mind."
His hand reached out to rub my back, before he pulled me into his chest. Biting my lip, I refused to cry, push
ing back those emotions with a wall of tempered steel and a will forged with the heat of battle. Crying didn't solve anything. It never did.
"You might be surprised." I could barely hear his words, mumbled against my crown. He placed a gentle kiss to my forehead.
Soaking up the affection, I forced myself to lean back, breaking the embrace before I lost control of my emotions and soaked his shirt with fresh tears. "Thank you."
He stood, pulling me up with him. A smile once more appeared on his face. "Call me next time you decide to go play Wonder Woman."
"You want to play Superman? Strip down in phone booths and wear spandex?"
He chuckled. "Nah. I just want to see you in that bikini outfit she wore."
I snorted.
He laughed as we made our way toward the front door. He paused on the porch and looked at me. "For what it's worth, men don't like to admit they're wrong. They hate to apologize even more. But given the right motivation and reason, you'd be surprised what a man would do."
Unsure how to respond, I managed a weak smile.
With a kiss to my cheek, Ducian sauntered off to his car.
I watched from the doorway until he drove out of sight. Only then did I shut the door and retreat to the safety of my self-imposed prison.
Chapter 11
Stepping onto the main floor of the club, I searched through the masses of hot, horny women. It appeared, no matter the state of the economy, women found the money to not only come to the club but stuff the green papers into the thongs of several of the dancers. The place was packed and hopping with the loud, hard beat of music. Onstage, the current dancer tugged his shirt off and swung it over his head, earning a loud cheer from the crowd.
With a shake of my head, I maneuvered along the far wall, trying to inch my way toward the stage. All the time, I wondered why in the world I was there.
It was simple, actually. I valued my life.
Today, I'd opened my front door to a surprise visitor, bright and early in the morning. In fact, I could have sworn the doorbell rang at precisely the moment the sun made its way over the horizon, turning night to grayish pink.
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