And the Bride Wore Red

by Lucy Gordon

  ‘This I have to hear. How did it do that?’

  ‘I arrived to collect you and you’d gone, “for ever”.’

  ‘It was just an accident.’

  ‘I didn’t know that. I thought you’d had enough of me and decided to get out fast. You might have left the country and vanished into thin air. I didn’t know how to contact you in England, and I couldn’t ask the school until term started weeks later. I nearly went mad.’

  ‘You could have texted my mobile phone.’

  ‘Not if you’d turned it off and blocked my calls,’ he said glumly. ‘Which you’d do if you were running away from me.’

  She stared at him, astonishment at his vulnerability mingling with happiness that she affected him so strongly.

  ‘You’ve really got a vivid imagination, haven’t you?’ she said.

  ‘You arrived just in time to stop me going crazy.’

  Light dawned. ‘Is that why you slammed your hand on the taxi?’

  ‘I had to do something. It was that or a heart attack. I’m not usually violent, it’s just-I don’t know-it mattered. And until then I hadn’t faced how much it mattered.

  ‘But I could tell you didn’t like me getting so worked up, so after that I backed off, played it cool, so as not to alarm you.’

  ‘I thought you were having regrets,’ she whispered.

  He shook his head and said in a slow, deliberate voice, ‘If there is one thing I will never regret, it is you. If I live to be a hundred I shall still say that this was the supreme moment of my life. If you leave me tomorrow, I’ll still remember this as the greatest joy I ever knew. I say that with all my heart and soul. No, don’t speak.’

  He laid his hand quickly over her lips, silencing what she would have said.

  ‘Don’t say anything now,’ he urged. ‘I don’t want you to be kind, or say what you think I want to hear. I’ll wait gladly until your feelings prompt you to speak. Until then, silence is better.’

  She could have said everything at that moment, gladdening his heart with a declaration to match his own. But instinct warned her that his reticence sprang from a deep need, and the kindest thing she could do for him was to respect that need.

  So she merely enfolded him in her arms, drawing him close in an embrace that was comforting rather than passionate.

  ‘It’s all right,’ she whispered. ‘It’s all right. I’m here.’

  In a moment they were both asleep.

  She awoke in the early hours to find him still lying across her in the same position. Everything about him spoke of blissful contentment.

  Then he opened his eyes, looking at her. The same contentment was there, like a man who’d come home. It became a joyous, conspiratorial smile, the meaning of which they both understood. They had a shared secret.

  Light was creeping in through the curtains over the window behind the bed. She pulled herself up in bed and drew the curtains back a little, careful in case they were passing another boat. But the river was empty. There was nobody to see her nakedness, so she moved up further. He joined her and they sat together at the window, watching a soft, misty dawn come up on the Yangtze, drifting slowly past.

  It was like a new day in which the shapes were ill-defined, changing from moment to moment, but always beautiful, leading them on to more beauty and happiness.

  Could you really start a new life like this? she wondered. Or was it nothing but a vague dream, too perfect to be true? And did she really want to know the answer just yet?

  She slid down into the bed again, stretching luxuriously, and he joined her, laughing. Then he saw something on the side table that made him stare.

  ‘Hey, what’s this? Ming Zhi?’ He took the little panda in his hand. ‘You brought her with you?’

  ‘I like to have her near as a reminder not to get carried away,’ Olivia said.

  He raised eyebrows. ‘What happened last night?’

  ‘I gave her time off.’

  He set Ming Zhi down again and lay back, wrapping Olivia in his arms.

  ‘If she’s still off-duty, perhaps I should make the most of it.’

  He didn’t wait for her to answer, but covered her mouth forcefully and proceeded to ‘make the most of it’ in a way that left her no chance to argue even if she’d wanted to.

  It was a riotous loving, filled with the sense of discovery that two people know when they have answered the first question and are eager to learn the others. This was an exploration, with more sense of adventure than tenderness, and when it was finished they were both gasping.

  ‘I need my breakfast,’ Lang said in a faint voice. He was lying flat on his back, holding her hand. ‘Then I think I’ll come back to bed.’

  ‘Nonsense!’ she declared in a hearty voice that made him wince. ‘When the boat makes its first stop we’re going to get out and do some sensible sight-seeing.’

  ‘Not me. I’m staying here.’

  ‘All right. You stay and I’ll go. It’ll give me a chance to get to know that very tall young man who came aboard in the same group as us.’

  ‘You’re a cruel woman. Help me up.’

  They became conventional tourists, joining the crowds to see the sights, but always chiefly aware of each other. They were the first back on board, declaring themselves exhausted and badly in need of a siesta. Then they vanished for the rest of the afternoon.

  ‘What shall I wear tonight?’ she mused as they were dressing for dinner.

  She held up the figure-hugging cheongsam and, to her surprise, he shook his head.

  ‘I thought you liked it.’

  ‘I do,’ he said. ‘When we’re alone. But if you think I want every other man in the place gawping at you…’

  ‘Fine, I’ll wear it.’

  From this he could not budge her. The ensuing argument came close to being their first quarrel, but the knowledge that he was jealous was like heady wine, driving her a little crazy.

  When she was dressed, he growled, ‘Don’t even look at anyone but me,’ clamping his arm around her waist to make his point.

  ‘I wasn’t going to,’ she assured him. ‘Unless, of course, I get up onstage.’

  ‘Why should you do that?’

  ‘They’re having a talent contest for the passengers. I thought I’d do a striptease.’

  ‘Try that and I’ll toss you over my shoulder and carry you off caveman-style.’

  ‘Mmm, is that a promise?’

  ‘Wait and see.’

  The boat was equipped with a tiny nightclub, with a stage just big enough for modest entertainment. One by one people got up and sang out of tune, to the cheers of their friends.

  ‘Hey!’ A young man tapped Lang on the shoulder. ‘There’s a group of us going to sing a pop song. Want to join us?’

  ‘Thank you, but no,’ Lang said. ‘I can’t sing.’

  ‘Neither can we, but it won’t stop us. Aw, come on. Don’t you know how to have a good time?’

  ‘I am having a good time,’ Lang said, polite but unmoved.

  The young man became belligerent. He had a good-natured, if slightly oafish face, but had drunk rather too much.

  ‘You don’t look it to me. It’s supposed to be a party. Come on.’

  Lang made no reply but merely sat with an implacable smile on his face. At last the oaf gave up and moved away, but not before one parting shot to Olivia.

  ‘I feel sorry for you, luv, know what I mean? A wimp, that’s what he is.’

  Olivia could have laughed out loud at such a total misreading of Lang. But she only looked the man in the eye, smiled knowingly and shook her head. He understood at once and backed off.

  ‘More to him than meets the eye, eh?’ he queried.

  ‘Much, much more,’ she said significantly.

  ‘Ah, well, in that case…’

  He took himself off.

  Lang eyed her. ‘Thank you, dragon lady, for coming to my defence.’

  ‘Don’t give me that. You don’t need me or anyone defen
ding you.’

  ‘True, but it’s nice to know that you don’t consider me a wimp. Our vulgar friend can think what he likes.’

  ‘Well, you know exactly what he’s thinking.’

  He grinned. ‘Yes, thanks to you he believes I’m a cross between Casanova and Romeo.’

  ‘He’s not the only one. Look.’

  Their tormentor had joined his fellows on the stage and was whispering to them urgently, pointing in Lang’s direction.

  ‘Oh, no!’ Lang groaned. ‘What have you done?’

  ‘Given you a really impressive reputation.’ She chuckled. ‘You should be grateful to me.’

  ‘Grateful? Let’s get out of here.’

  He hastily set down his glass, grabbed her hand and drew her away with more vigour than chivalry. By now the entire audience seemed to be in the know, and they were pursued by whistles of envy and appreciation.

  Lang almost dragged her down the corridor and into their suite, where he pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely, both laughing and complaining together.

  ‘Olivia, you wretch! I’ll never be able to show my face again.’

  ‘Nonsense, you’ll be a hero.’ She chuckled, kissing him between words.

  ‘Come here!’

  He drew her firmly down on the bed and lay on top of her, pinning her down, his eyes gleaming with enjoyment.

  ‘Perhaps we should discuss this,’ he said.

  ‘Mmm, I’d like that. But you know what?’

  ‘What?’ he asked with misgiving.

  ‘You’re acting in exactly the kind of he-man style that they’re imagining.’

  ‘Oh, hell!’

  He rolled off her but she immediately followed until she’d rolled on top of him, thanking her lucky stars that the bed was wide enough for this kind of frolicking.

  ‘Now it’s my turn to be the he-man,’ she informed him.

  ‘I didn’t think it worked that way.’

  ‘It does when I do it.’

  He gave her his wickedest look. ‘I’m at your mercy, dragon lady,’ he said with relish.

  ‘You’d better believe it.’

  She began to work on his shirt buttons, opening them swiftly until she could run her hands over his chest. By the violent tremors that went through him she could tell that he loved it, but he made no move to do the same for her.

  ‘Are you going to just lie there?’ she demanded indignantly.

  ‘What else can I do? I am but a mere wimp, awaiting orders.’

  ‘Well,’ she said, breathing hard, ‘my orders are for you to go into action.’

  ‘Right!’

  One swift, forceful movement was enough to demolish the front of her dress. Then she was on her back, having the rest of her clothes ripped away.

  ‘To hear is to obey,’ he murmured, tossing aside his own clothes and settling on top of her.

  They fought it out, laughing, loving, challenging, bickering amiably, then doing it all again until they fell asleep in each other’s arms, happy and exhausted.

  It was a good night.

  Now and then the boat stopped and everyone went ashore for an excursion to a temple, or to view one of the famous Three Gorges dams. Lang and Olivia joined these expeditions but they were always glad to get back on board.

  In the privacy of their suite they could enjoy not merely love-making but talk. To both of them it was a special joy that their pleasure in each other was not confined to passion. Huddled close, they could explore hearts and minds in sleepy content.

  Olivia found herself talking about her fractured life as she’d never done before, except with Norah.

  ‘You said once that I was my mother’s mother, and you were right. My parents are just like a couple of kids. It can seem charming, until you see all the people they’ve let down.’

  ‘Mostly you,’ Lang said tenderly.

  ‘Yes, but there’s a queue that stretches behind me-Tony, my mother’s second husband, her step-children by that marriage, her child by Tony-my half-brother. He’s about fourteen now and beginning to realise what she’s like. He calls me sometimes for advice. I do my best, but I’ve never told him the worst she’s capable of.’

  She fell silent. At last Lang said, ‘Tell me, if you can.’

  ‘I was about twelve. It was December and I was getting all excited about Christmas. I was staying with Norah, but Dad and I were going to Paris together. I got ready, everything packed, and waited for him. When he was late I went outside and sat on the wall, looking for his car to appear at the end of the road, but he didn’t come.

  ‘Norah called him, but all she got was the answer machine. We tried his mobile phone but it was switched off. I suppose I knew in my heart that he wasn’t coming, but I wouldn’t face it. At last, hours later, he called to see if I was having a great time with my mother. I said, “But I’m supposed to be with you.” Then it all came out about Evadne, his new girlfriend. She’d begged him to take her to Paris instead of me, and been very persuasive, so he’d left a message on my mother’s phone to say she’d have to have me. He seemed terribly surprised that she hadn’t turned up.’

  Lang swore violently and rolled over away from her, his hands over his face. Then he rolled back and took her in his arms. ‘I will kill him,’ he muttered over and over. ‘Don’t ever let me meet your father or I will kill him. Hold onto me-hold me.’

  It felt so good to embrace him, to bury her head against his shoulder and blot out everything else, as though he had it in his power to put the world right.

  ‘So you had to spend Christmas with your mother?’ he said at last.

  ‘Oh, no, she didn’t get his message until she’d left to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend-at least, she said she didn’t. So neither of them came for me and I spent Christmas with Norah.’

  He seized her again and this time it was he who hid his face in her shoulder, as though her pain was unbearable to him.

  ‘How did you survive?’ he murmured.

  ‘Part of me didn’t. I learned not to trust people, especially when they talked about their feelings. I thought Andy was different, but he was just the same.’

  ‘Was he the only one?’

  ‘You mean, have I had other boyfriends? Oh, yes. I dipped my toe in the water a few times, but only my toe. I always got cautious before I went too far. It doesn’t take much to turn me back into that little girl sitting on the wall, watching for someone who never appeared. In my heart-’ she shuddered ‘-I always know that’s going to happen.’

  ‘Never,’ he said violently. ‘Never, do you hear me? I’m yours for life. Or at least for as long as you want me. No, don’t answer.’ He laid a swift hand over her lips. ‘You can’t promise life, not yet. I know that. But I’ll be patient. Just remember that I’m always here.’

  ‘Always,’ she murmured longingly.

  Always? queried the voice in her head. If only.

  But held in his arms she could believe in anything, and she clung to him in desperate hope.

  CHAPTER NINE

  SOMETIMES he teased her about her preference for good sense.

  ‘If I really believed in good sense I’d never have come anywhere near you,’ she said indignantly.

  ‘You’re trying to reform me. I realised that ages ago.’

  ‘I’m not having much luck, am I? Sometimes I doubt myself. You know those marvellous roofs you see on old buildings, the ones that curve up at the corners? I read that it dates back to a Buddhist belief about evil residing in straight lines, so they should be avoided if possible.

  ‘But another book talked about architecture and rainfall, and how the curve was precisely calculated to give maximum benefit to the building. I hated that. I like the Buddhist interpretation much better.’

  Lang’s response was to lift Ming Zhi from beside the bed, and address Olivia severely. ‘You’re slipping. That kind of sentimentality isn’t what I engaged you for.’

  They laughed, cocooned in the safe refuge they offered each o
ther. Their laughter ended in passion.

  Another time Olivia recalled the night she’d met the Langs, and had seen him in the context of both his families.

  ‘They say a picture’s worth a thousand words,’ she murmured. ‘You told me how out of place you felt with your English family, but it only became real when I saw the photograph of you all together. You looked exactly like them, but I could still see you were a fish out of water.’

  ‘That’s putting it mildly,’ he said. ‘But, looking back, I feel sorry for them.’

  ‘Sorry for them?’

  ‘I know I was difficult. In some ways I’m not a very nice character. You said I looked like a misfit with them, and that was how I felt. But in my mind it was they who were the misfits, and I was the one who’d got it right, which isn’t very amiable in a fifteen-year-old boy.’

  ‘No, but it is very typical of fifteen-year-old boys,’ she riposted. ‘So you were a grumpy adolescent-join the club.’

  ‘That’s one way of looking at it,’ he said with a self-mocking smile. ‘The other way is that I’m stubborn, inflexible and set on my own way. Once I want something I won’t give up. Everyone else becomes the victim.’ He tightened his arms around her. ‘As you have cause to know.’

  ‘Mmm, I’m not complaining.’

  ‘Good, because I’ve got you and I’m going to keep you.’

  ‘Do I get a say about that?’ she teased.

  ‘Nope, you have nothing to say about it. You belong to me, understand?’

  She couldn’t resist saying, ‘You mean, like Jaio belonged to the Emperor Qin?’

  ‘No way. She escaped. You’ll never escape me.’

  ‘What, no gallant warrior to ride to my rescue?’

  ‘The man who could take you away from me hasn’t been born.’

  ‘What happened to being patient and letting me decide in my own time?’

  ‘That was then. This is now.’

  She chuckled. ‘That’s all right, then. I’ll forgive you if you’re a bit overbearing, or even a lot overbearing. Which you most definitely will be. Anything else you want to warn me about?’