by Lucy Gordon
‘Star-crossed lovers?’
‘That’s right. He was poor, her family was rich. When they couldn’t marry, he died of a broken heart, but she went to his tomb and-Well, wait and see.’
When dinner was over they slipped into place, securing a table near the stage. Gradually the lights went down and plaintive music filled the air. Zhu Yingtai, a beautiful young girl, appeared with her family, pleading with them for the right to study. They were shocked at this unladylike behaviour, but finally let her go to college disguised as a man. She sang of her joy:
‘Other women dream of husbands,
But I do not seek a husband.
I choose freedom.’
As the scene changed Lang whispered provocatively to Olivia, ‘She’s looking forward to a life of learning and independence, with no male complications. I know you’ll approve.’
She smiled. It seemed such a long time since she’d been that woman, and the man who’d released her from her cage was sitting so close that she could feel his warmth mingling with another kind of warmth that was part memory, part anticipation.
In the next scene Zhu Yingtai, now dressed as a man, met Liang Shanbo and they became fellow students. They grew close, singing about their deep friendship.
‘Our hearts beat together.
All is understood between us.’
‘And yet he doesn’t suspect that she’s a woman?’ Olivia mused.
‘Perhaps friendship is also part of love,’ Lang murmured. ‘If they’d been able to marry, the fact that they could confide in each other might have sustained them through the years, making them strong while other couples fell apart.’
His face was very close to hers, his eyes glowing with a message he knew she could understand without words. She nodded slowly.
At last Zhu Yingtai revealed her true identity and they declared their love, but it was in vain. Liang Shanbo was poor. Her parents betrothed her to a rich man.
He sang a plaintive ballad, full of heartbreak, saying that his life was nothing without his beloved. Then he lay down and quietly died.
The day of Zhu Yingtai’s wedding dawned. She too sang, longing for death to reunite her with the man she loved. On the way to the ceremony she stopped beside her lover’s tomb, crying out her longing for them to be together.
Olivia held her breath. For some reason what would happen next mattered to her.
The music swelled. The tomb doors opened. Zhu Yingtai threw up her arms in ecstatic gratitude and walked triumphantly inside.
The lights dimmed, except for one brilliant beam over the tomb. From somewhere overhead a hologram was projected into the light, and two large butterflies came into view. They hovered for a moment before flying off together into the darkness.
These were the souls of the lovers, now united for ever. The audience gasped, then applauded ecstatically. The lights came up and Olivia hastily dried her eyes.
All about them people were exclaiming with appreciation. Lang and Olivia quietly slipped away and went up on deck.
‘Did I understand the end properly?’ she asked as they strolled hand in hand. ‘The butterflies were the lovers, and now they’ll always be together?’
‘That’s right.’
She stopped and looked up at the moon. No full moon tonight, but a crescent hanging in the sky. Lang followed her gaze.
‘According to Meihui,’ he said, ‘the two butterflies didn’t only signify reunion in death, but eternal fidelity in life also. She said there were so many different stage versions all over China that one or other was always being performed. When I came here, almost the first thing I did was to find a performance, to see if it spoke to me in her voice, and it did. I was so glad it was on here tonight, so that I could show it to you.’
‘Butterflies,’ she mused. ‘Flying away together for eternity. What a lovely thought!’
‘Eternity,’ he echoed. ‘That’s what I want with you, if it’s what you want.’
‘It’s all I shall ever want,’ she told him passionately.
‘Then we have everything. Let’s go inside.’
‘We can go on travelling for another couple of weeks,’ Lang said next morning. ‘And then it’ll be back to Beijing to plan the wedding.’
‘And that’s going to take a lot of planning,’ Olivia mused.
‘Nonsense, we just give Biyu the date and leave everything to her. In fact, why don’t we just let her choose the date?’
‘Good idea. She’ll be better at planning it than I will.’
Biyu thought so too. In a feverish telephone call, she tried to make them return at once and plunge into arrangements. It took all Lang’s strength to resist, and when he hung up Olivia had to take drastic steps to restore his energy. That distracted them so long that they got behind with their packing and nearly weren’t ready when the boat docked at Yichang.
From there they took a plane to Shangai on the coast. During the flight, they planned out the rest of their trip.
‘We could go to Chengdu and see the panda sanctuary,’ he said. ‘I’ve got some more relatives up there, and I’d like them to meet you. But let’s enjoy Shanghai first.’
It was a revelation, an ultra-modern, bustling city where almost every inch seemed to be neon-lit. On the first night they took a boat down the river, gazing up at the skyscrapers adorned with multi-coloured lights. Then they escaped to their hotel room on the thirty-fifth floor and watched from the window.
‘I’m dizzy being up so high,’ she murmured, leaning back against him.
‘I’m dizzy too,’ he whispered against her neck. ‘But it’s not from the height.’
She chuckled but didn’t move, even when he drew his lips across the skin below her ear, although it sent delicious tremors through her.
‘Come to bed,’ he urged.
‘Can’t you just let a girl enjoy the view?’
‘No,’ he said firmly, sweeping her up and carrying her to the huge bed, where she forgot all about skyscrapers and neon lights.
They slept late, rose late and sauntered out, meaning to do some serious educational sightseeing. They ended up in a theatre where motorbike riders diced with death, crossing each other’s path within inches at high speed.
‘Well, I’ve learned something,’ she remarked as they walked slowly back to the hotel. ‘I’ve learned never to get on a motorbike.’
They had the elevator to themselves and kissed all the way to the thirty-fifth floor, their minds running ahead to the pleasures to come.
But as they reached their room Lang’s mobile phone began to buzz. Groaning, he answered, and Olivia saw him grow instantly alert. The next moment he swung away from her, as though she had no part of what was happening, and went to stand by the window.
He was talking too rapidly for her to follow, and his whole body was alive with excitement. When he hung up, he looked as though he was lit from within.
‘That’s it!’ he cried. ‘I knew it must happen some time.’
He hurled himself on the bed and lay back with his hands behind his head, the picture of triumph. Then he saw her regarding him, puzzled, and opened his arms to her. She went into them and nearly had the breath squeezed out of her.
‘What’s happened?’ she gasped, laughing.
‘That vacancy for a consultant has come up at the hospital!’ he cried exultantly. ‘It’s a brilliant opportunity. Just what I’ve been waiting for.’
‘That’s wonderful. Who called you?’
‘Another doctor, a friend who knows how badly I want this. He’s put my name forward, and he called to tell me when the interviews start.’
‘So we have to go back now,’ she said, trying not to sound too disappointed.
‘No, nothing’s going to happen until next week. We can have another couple of days. And then…’ He sighed. ‘Back to the real world.’
‘But the real world is going to be wonderful,’ she reminded him. ‘You’re going to be a great consultant, and in a few years you’ll be in ch
arge of the whole hospital.’
‘I hope so. If you only knew how much I hope so. I want it so much it scares me.’
That night was different. They made love and slept close as always, but when Olivia awoke in the small hours she saw him standing at the window looking out, so preoccupied that he never once looked back at the bed.
She wondered where he was now, inside his mind, and concluded that wherever it was she wasn’t there with him. It was the first shadow on their relationship, only a tiny one, but perceptible.
Next day he seemed preoccupied over breakfast, and she said little, understanding that he would wish to mull over the situation that was opening up to him. They went out on a brief shopping-expedition, but over lunch he suddenly left her alone and was away for nearly an hour. Returning, he apologised profusely, but didn’t say where he’d been. Sadly, she realised that part of him was already returning to ‘the real world’, where she seemed to live on the margins.
Or did she live anywhere at all? Had she, in the end, been nothing but a holiday romance? Lang had spoken of marriage and eternity, but that was before he’d been offered the chance of the thing he admitted he wanted more than anything in the world.
Suddenly she was in darkness, stumbling about an alien universe. She had survived Andy’s betrayal. She knew she wouldn’t survive Lang’s.
But the moment of doubt passed, and that evening her fears were eased when Lang suggested talking to Norah.
In a moment they were online, and there was Norah’s face, beaming at them.
‘Hello, darling! And, Lang-is that you I see?’
‘Hello, Norah,’ he said, seating himself on the bed next to Olivia, before the little camera. ‘How are you?’
‘Better than ever since my gifts arrived. Look.’
She held up the tiny figurine of a terracotta warrior in one hand, and a book in the other.
‘The postman delivered them this morning,’ she bubbled. ‘It was so kind of you.’
He told her about Biyu and the wedding plans.
‘As soon as we’ve set the date we’ll arrange your flight out here,’ he told her.
For a moment Olivia thought a faint shadow crossed Norah’s face, but it was gone too quickly for her to be sure. It might have been a trick of the camera.
‘What kind of a wedding are you going to have?’ Norah wanted to know.
Lang talked at length, describing in detail what would probably happen and the part he expected her to play in it. She giggled and called him a cheeky young devil, which seemed to please him.
‘Hey, can I get a word in edgeways?’ Olivia protested. ‘How about saying something about my new dress?’
‘It’s very pretty, dear.’
‘I chose it,’ Lang put in.
‘Of course you did. Olivia’s dress sense was always a little wayward.’
‘Oi!’ Olivia cried.
‘Well, it’s true, darling. But Lang has wonderful taste. You should always listen to him.’
‘I’ll remind her of that,’ Lang said gravely.
‘Oi!’ Olivia said again, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow. He gave an exaggerated wince, which made Norah laugh more than ever.
‘I’m so glad you’re having a wonderful time,’ she said. ‘You look ever so much better. I was becoming afraid for you, but not any more.’
‘Don’t be afraid for her,’ Lang said, suddenly serious. He slipped his arm around Olivia in such a way that Norah could see it.
‘I never will again,’ she said. ‘Darling, you be good to him. He’s one in a million.’
‘I know,’ Olivia replied, gazing back at the old woman with love. Norah beamed back, their understanding as perfect as ever.
‘Now I’ve got some marvellous news to tell you,’ Lang said.
‘More marvellous news? As well as your marriage? Tell, tell.’
‘I’ve had a call from-’
He stopped as a terrible change came over Norah. Her smile faded abruptly and she gave a choking sound. Aghast, they watched as she clutched her throat and heaved in distress.
‘Norah!’ Olivia cried, reaching out frantically to the screen. But Norah was five thousand miles away. ‘Oh, heavens, what’s happening to her?’
‘I think she’s having a heart attack,’ Lang said.
‘A heart attack?’ Olivia echoed in horror. ‘Oh, no, it can’t be!’
‘I’m afraid it is,’ he said tersely, not taking his eyes from the screen. ‘Norah-can you hear me?’
Norah couldn’t speak, but she managed to nod.
‘Don’t fight it,’ Lang told her. ‘Try to take deep, slow breaths until the ambulance reaches you.’
Olivia was dialling her mobile phone.
‘I’m calling her neighbour in the apartment downstairs,’ she said. ‘Hello, Jack, it’s Olivia. Norah’s having a heart attack-can you-? Norah, Jack says he’s on his way.’
‘Can he get in?’ Lang asked.
‘Yes, they’ve each got a key to the other’s place so that they can keep an eye on each other. There he is.’
They could see Jack on the screen now, an elderly man but still full of vigour. He reached for Norah’s phone, dialling for the ambulance.
‘It’s on its way,’ he said at last to Olivia.
‘Thank you,’ she wept.
By now Norah was lying back on the pillow, not moving. They saw Jack try to rouse her, but she lay terrifyingly still.
‘She’s passed out,’ Jack said desperately. ‘What can I do?’
‘Don’t panic,’ Lang said firmly. ‘I’m a doctor, do as I say. Place two fingers against her throat to check for a pulse.’
Jack did so, but wailed, ‘I can’t feel anything, and she’s stopped breathing. Oh, dear God, she’s dead!’
‘No!’ Olivia screamed.
‘Don’t panic, either of you,’ Lang said sternly. ‘She isn’t dead, but she’s had a cardiac arrest. Jack, we’ve got to get her heart started again. First raise her legs about eighteen inches, to help blood flow back to the heart.’
They both watched as Jack put a couple of pillows under Norah’s feet, then looked back at the screen for further instructions.
‘Place the palm of your hand flat on her chest just over the lower part of her breast bone,’ Lang continued. ‘Then press down in a pumping motion. Use the other hand, as well, to give extra power-that’s it! Excellent.’
‘But is it working?’ Olivia whispered.
‘Don’t disturb him,’ Lang advised.
As they watched, Norah made a slight movement. Jack gave a yell of triumph.
‘The medics should be here soon,’ he said. ‘I left the main door open so that they could-Here they are.’
Two ambulance crew burst in, armed with equipment, confidently taking over. One of them asked Jack what he’d done, then nodded in approval.
‘Well done,’ he said. ‘She was lucky to have you.’
As they moved Norah onto the stretcher, Jack addressed the screen.
‘I’m going to the hospital with her,’ he said. ‘I’ll call you when I know something.’
‘Give her my love,’ Olivia begged. ‘Tell her I’ll be there soon. And, Jack, thank you for everything.’
‘It’s not me you should thank, it’s him,’ he said gruffly, and the screen went dead.
‘He’s right,’ she whispered. ‘If she lives, you did it.’
‘Of course she will live,’ Lang insisted.
‘I shouldn’t have left her. She’s old and frail. I’ve stayed away too long.’
‘But she wanted you to. Every time I’ve seen her she’s been encouraging you, smiling.’
‘Yes, because she’s sweet and generous. She must have smiled on purpose to make me think she was all right. She was thinking of me, but I should have been thinking of her.’
‘Olivia, my darling, stop blaming yourself. You’re right, she is generous. She knew that you needed your freedom and she gave it to you. Accept her generosity.’
/> ‘I know you’re right, but-’
She could say no more. Grief overwhelmed her and she sobbed helplessly. Lang’s arms went around her, holding her close, offering her all the comfort in his power.
Many times in the past he’d held her with passion, letting her know that she could bring his body alive, as he could hers. But now there was only strength and tenderness, giving without taking, all the warmth and compassion of his nature offered in her service.
She stopped weeping at last, because the strength had drained out of her. Normally so decisive, she now found herself floundering.
‘Start your packing,’ he told her gently, ‘and I’ll call the airport.’
An hour later they were on their way. Lang had found a flight to London for her, and one to Beijing for himself. When she had checked in, they sat in silence, holding hands, trying to come to terms with what had happened. One moment their joyous life had seemed set to last for ever. The next, without warning, it was all over. The speed with which light had turned to darkness left her reeling.
And yet, what had I expected? she asked herself. We were always fooling ourselves about bringing Norah to China. I have to go to England and his life is here.
How bitter was the irony! The woman who’d been so sure she could command her own fate had been swept away by a tide of love whose strength she was only beginning to appreciate now that it was slipping away from her.
‘I’ve got something for you,’ Lang said. ‘I bought it to give you as a symbol of our coming marriage.’
‘Oh, no,’ she begged. ‘Don’t say that. I can’t bear it. How can we ever marry?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said sombrely. ‘I only know that somehow we must. Don’t you feel that too?’
‘Yes. Yes, I do. But how can we?’
‘I had hoped that we might make our home in China and Norah could come here and live with us. I still hope for that. She will recover in time, and all will be well. We have only to be patient.’
She looked at him with desperate eyes, longing to believe that it could be that easy, but she was full of fear.
‘We must never give up hope,’ Lang persisted. ‘Don’t you know that whatever happens some day, somehow, we must be together?’
‘I want to think so, but how can we? I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, perhaps always.’
