by Holly Webb
It was all very well saying it, and Daisy kept repeating the words over and over as they half ran back through the trees, “She’s ours. She is. She’s ours.” But ever since she’d first seen Em, she’d had a memory-picture of her, the white pony with the messy fringe. It had been deep down inside her and she could see Em whenever she wanted.
In her imagination, Daisy was stroking Em’s whiskery grey nose and Em had her eyes half closed as if she was so happy. Mara was there too, patting Em’s neck. She was a bit hard to see but that was only because the pony was in between them. She was there – Daisy knew it.
The picture didn’t feel the same any more. Em was still there but she wasn’t looking at Daisy. It was Jack who was patting her nose and Mara had disappeared.
Daisy was determined that Jack wasn’t going to spoil things. She’d only fallen in love with the ponies this summer but now they felt like the most important part of the forest for her. She noticed them all, not just Em and her little herd. She was starting to see the differences in them, the way they stood, what they liked to eat. She could tell the different ways their tails were trimmed, to show which part of the forest their owners lived in. When she was out in the car with Mum or Dad, she sometimes spotted ponies that she was sure she’d seen when she was walking Betsy and it made her feel like she belonged. No one was going to take that away.
But she couldn’t help looking out for Jack now, whenever she took Betsy for a walk. She didn’t want another argument – especially since last time he’d been right. Still, he couldn’t stop her watching the ponies, Daisy told herself, even if Em did belong to his family. The forest was free for everyone to walk in. She avoided going out straight after lunch, which was when she’d run into Jack last time. If he always went to see the ponies around then, she’d make sure she missed him.
It was almost a week after their fight, about halfway through the summer holidays, when she saw Jack again. She’d taken Betsy out for an early morning walk and had stopped to watch Em eating gorse from the bushes that bordered the heathland. Even though she knew about the ponies’ special mouths, it still made Daisy shudder when she saw them eating the prickly gorse.
She and Oscar had made a cave inside a gorse bush once – it had big holes in it that you could crawl through like tunnels and they’d called it their secret den. They’d hidden from Mum, though looking back Daisy realized she’d known exactly where they were or she’d have been more panicked. Finally they’d come out of their secret hiding place covered in scratches and Oscar had made a hole in his T-shirt. What would gorse do to the inside of someone’s mouth? But the ponies didn’t seem to have any problems.
“Here, look,” she murmured to Betsy. “Let’s sit up here.” She wasn’t very good at climbing trees but every so often she came across one that was too good not to climb. The first branch was so low she could practically step on to it, with Betsy in her arms, and there was a smooth piece of bark just right to lean against. Betsy wriggled but once they were sitting down she settled for sniffing all round the branch and then decided that she quite liked being high up. The little dog sat in her lap like a queen as Daisy peered down at Em, who was ignoring their silly antics.
It was so peaceful up there, quiet enough to hear the bees humming in the gorse and Em chewing her prickly mouthfuls. Quiet enough to hear soft footsteps scuffing over the grass. Daisy froze, pressing herself in tight against the bark. If she didn’t move, hopefully he wouldn’t spot her. Luckily Betsy was half asleep and all she did was open one eye to see who was coming.
Jack had a bucket with him again. Daisy supposed that was the feed he’d mentioned – the smaller flaxen chestnut pony was the foal he was feeding up. Before he’d said it, she hadn’t realized that the flaxen chestnut was only a baby. Jack stopped to talk to Em first, though, and the pony stepped towards him, nudging him with her nose and letting him gently clap her neck.
She was trying to get in the bucket, and Jack laughed and held it behind his back. “Get out of it, Snowball!” he said, pushing her nose.
Snowball! That was Em’s real name? Daisy felt like kicking the tree. She watched, blinking angry hot tears, as Jack gave Em a bit of carrot out of his pocket. The white pony crunched the carrot eagerly but it wasn’t just the food she wanted. Daisy could see that.
Em – Snowball – she liked him. She was gazing hopefully at him, and when he scratched under her messy fringe she stood with her head lowered, looking blissful. Jack smiled lovingly as he patted her nose and scratched her itches – and when he’d finished, he leaned his cheek against the grey-white dapples of her neck and closed his eyes, just for a second.
Daisy had to look away, she felt so jealous. She kept stone-still as he started to feed the foal. He fussed over her, talking to her gently and praising her for eating it all up.
“Aren’t you clever? Clever girl, Acorn! She’s getting big, isn’t she, Bracken? You’re such a good mum, aren’t you?”
The ponies all had names then. Daisy bit her lip. They really did belong to him.
“It suits you,” Mara said, grinning at Daisy. “It’s your colour.”
Daisy made a face but she didn’t mind the weird green plastic apron covering her clothes. It was to make things as safe as possible for Mara and Daisy wanted to do everything right. Mara sounded chirpy, almost like she did before this all started, but she looked so pale and thin. Dad always teased Daisy and Oscar and Chloe when they were sick, saying that they looked as if a gust of wind would blow them over. Daisy had never seen anyone who looked as if they really would blow over in a strong wind but Mara seemed so fragile. Daisy could see the veins under her skin.
Mara patted the bed next to her. “Sit next to me. Have you got your phone? Can I see the pony photos again?”
Daisy almost didn’t want to. What if she hurt her? Mara looked like she might break if Daisy sat down too hard. Her mum and Mara’s had gone to the café to get drinks for everyone – if something went wrong, Daisy was the only one there.
“Don’t look at me like that!” Mara said, and Daisy froze.
“Like what…” she muttered, trying not to sound guilty.
“Like you’re scared to be near me. It’s not catching!”
“It wasn’t that!” Daisy shook her head earnestly. “It’s just…”
“What?” Mara snapped. “Is it because of my hair?”
“No! It’s – it’s just that you look sick,” Daisy tried to explain. “I mean – I knew you were…”
“Yeah, I’ve been in hospital for months,” Mara pointed out icily.
“But I hadn’t seen you! Don’t be angry, Mara. I’m worried about you, that’s all!” Daisy could feel her voice choking up inside her. This wasn’t how she wanted things to go. She’d been so excited to see Mara at last and now she was ruining it. “And it isn’t because of your hair – of course it isn’t! I like the scarf thing anyway.”
“Mum got me lots of them,” Mara said, a bit sulkily. She pulled at the bandana covering her head – she was making sure it was on properly, Daisy guessed. Then suddenly Daisy realized she was twirling the curly end of her own dark braid around her finger and stopped as if it had bitten her.
She sat down on the end of Mara’s bed cautiously but trying not to look as though she was being careful. “Um. Ponies?” she said hopefully, holding up her phone.
Mara nodded. “You’ll have to come closer,” she said sternly as if it was a test, and Daisy nodded. Mara was being snappy and bossy and argumentative like she always had been. It made her seem a lot less poorly.
Daisy edged further up the bed and leaned against the stack of pillows next to Mara, opening up her phone. “Here, look. I took this one along the ride that runs past the back of our house, you know? Oh, that’s just Betsy being cute…”
“Your photos are all of Betsy or ponies,” Mara said a few minutes later, laughing.
“Yeah, well, yours would be the same except no dog,” Daisy pointed out. She didn’t realize what she’d s
aid until she glanced at Mara’s stricken face. “Sorry…” she whispered.
Mara shrugged. “I took a few of me and the nurses. But I didn’t want photos of this place.” She waved at the hospital room. “Mum takes loads of pictures anyway.”
“Because I think we’ll want to remember it one day, when you’re home,” Mara’s mum said, coming back in with a tray.
After that there wasn’t as much chance to talk. Daisy could see Mara’s mum watching them as if she had to keep checking to see if things were too much for Mara.
“We should get going,” Daisy’s mum said, a few minutes later. “We don’t want to wear Mara out. Daisy can come again soon.”
Daisy nodded hopefully, and Mara smiled and looked as though she actually did want her to. Daisy hadn’t been sure she would – they seemed to have spent half the time arguing.
On the way out of the hospital, Daisy’s mum met someone she knew and stopped to chat. They went on and on talking, so Daisy wandered over to look at one of the noticeboards about fundraising. It had a few interesting photos on, but that was about it, and she was turning round to see if Mum was nearly finished when she came face to face with Jack.
“Oh. You.” She said it before she thought.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Visiting Mara, of course.” Daisy eyed him doubtfully. She felt like saying something snappy, even though she had seen him being so nice with Em the other day. She’d been so jealous of him, getting nuzzles from her pony.
Now that she’d been mean to him once, it seemed easier to do it again. But they were in a hospital, so he must be visiting someone who was ill. It would be really horrible of her. “Er … are you visiting someone?”
He looked surprised. “Yeah, Mara.”
“You’re visiting Mara?” Daisy stared at him. “You?”
“Why shouldn’t I be?” He frowned at her as though she was being dim.
“You hate Mara!”
“No, I don’t.” He shrugged. “She lives almost next door to me. I see her all the time. And we go to the same riding school. I don’t hate her – we just argue. She’s always telling me off.”
“Oh…” Daisy folded her arms across her middle. She was feeling cold again, like she had when he’d told her Em belonged to his dad. She’d never realized Jack and Mara saw so much of each other out of school.
“I mean, I did see her all the time,” he added. “Not for ages now.” He made a weird face and Daisy suddenly realized that he was missing Mara too. It felt like she had to click everything around inside her head to make it fit again.
“Yeah…” she murmured. “I called her when I wasn’t allowed to visit but it’s not the same.”
“Is she OK? You’ve just seen her…” Jack looked at her sideways. He was scared too.
“She sounded like herself – more than she did on the phone. But she does look…” Daisy caught her breath. She didn’t want to say Mara looked ill. Surely she should be saying everything was brilliant? It didn’t feel very loyal, saying that Mara had scared her too.
Jack’s shoulders were up round his ears. “Mm. I guessed. OK. That’s my mum coming,” he added. “She was asking about where the ward was. See you, then.”
“See you.” Daisy lifted her hand awkwardly, giving him half a wave, and Jack nodded back.
“Daisy, hurry up! Come on, or we’ll miss it!”
“I’m getting the money!” Daisy yelled back from the kitchen. “Thanks, Mum!” She dashed down the hallway after Oscar and grabbed Chloe’s hand. “You have to stick with me, Mum said.”
“I want a banana lolly!” Chloe told her, tugging Daisy out of the front door. They had lollies in the freezer but they definitely tasted better if you’d had to race after the ice-cream van.
“Yes, a banana lolly for you and Mum wants a lemonade one. Oscar, is it still there? Is it going?” Daisy called. Oscar was already hurrying down the street.
“No, there’s lots of people waiting, it’s OK,” he yelled back. “I’ll go and get in the queue.”
Chloe was still going on and on about the banana lolly, so it took Daisy a little while to notice that it was Jack in the queue in front of them. He got a cone with two Flakes and strawberry sauce, and Oscar was eyeing it up enviously as he walked off.
“Can I have two Flakes?”
“No. Mum didn’t give us enough money. You can have one.”
Jack stopped walking and looked back. “Oh, hi, Daisy.”
“Hi.” Daisy gave him a half-smile, expecting that he’d carry on going, but he waited for her to buy their ice creams and then wandered along with them.
“I’m on the way back from seeing to the ponies,” Jack explained, waving an empty bucket at Daisy.
She nodded. “You still have to feed the little one?”
“Yeah, but not for much longer. She’s doing well enough on her own.” He slurped at his ice cream and Oscar immediately did the same. Daisy rolled her eyes and they both smirked. “They’re going further away now – that’s why you’ve been seeing them over your way. When the foal was younger they used to just hang around by our back gate most of the time. They know they get carrots if they put their heads over the gate when we’re in the garden.” He took another big mouthful of ice cream and asked, “You going to visit Mara again?” in an offhand sort of way.
“Yeah, I think Mum said we could go tomorrow. But we have to call Mara’s mum first. You know, to check she’s well enough.”
“Yeah.” He nodded and stared down at the soggy cone. They were back at Daisy’s front gate by now, and Oscar and Chloe ran inside. Daisy didn’t know whether to follow them or not. It felt rude to walk away from Jack but she had Mum’s lemonade lolly – it was going to melt.
“Um. Do you want to come with us? To the hospital?” she asked. She didn’t know why she’d done it. Maybe it was the way his shoulders were all hunched up and worried. She remembered him fussing over the ponies too… He couldn’t be that bad, the way he loved them.
“Your mum wouldn’t mind?” he said, looking up hopefully. “I do want to go. It’s just … the last time I didn’t know what to say. I felt bad, like everything I was talking about was stuff she couldn’t do… Especially riding. I was telling her about my lessons, and then Mara went quiet and I remembered she hasn’t been on a pony for ages. So I stopped and then I couldn’t think of anything else to talk about.”
Daisy nodded. “Same here. Come on. We can ask my mum now.”
As she shut the front door behind them, Daisy thought how strange it was. Two weeks ago, she’d have been more likely to invite a poisonous snake inside her house than Jack Wilson.
“Do you mind it raining?” Daisy murmured to Em. It had been pouring for the last few days, which was sad as it was the last week of the summer break. Betsy had turned up her nose at a walk again, even though the rain had mostly stopped now. Mum didn’t mind Daisy going to watch the ponies without Betsy as long as she had her phone and she was always back when she said she would be.
“You must be soaked. Unless … how waterproof are ponies? I’ll have to ask Mara. Or Jack, maybe.” Daisy wrinkled her nose. She wouldn’t have considered giving him such a good chance to make fun of her before. What she ought to ask him was, Why were you so mean to me? But she didn’t think she ever would. To make himself look good, she supposed. Because he had to have someone to pick on… She wasn’t sure that being a friend of Mara’s and looking after the ponies so well meant that Jack was going to be any nicer once he was back at school with his mates but maybe she wouldn’t just hide behind her hair any more. She’d answered him back now – she was pretty sure she could do it again.
He hadn’t teased her when they’d gone to see Mara together but it hadn’t been the most successful visit. Maybe all the visitors she was getting now were tiring Mara out, Daisy thought. She knew Kacie and Skye had been to see Mara too. This time she’d been very quiet and none of them had said much. But when they’d gone, Mara’s mum ha
d hurried out into the main part of the ward after them. She’d hugged Daisy, and then Jack, and told them they were amazing. Then she’d dashed back again, leaving them staring at each other in surprise.
Em took another mouthful of grass and looked up at Daisy. She shook her ears briskly, as if she’d made a decision, and then walked away, slow but determined, as though she knew exactly where she was going. Daisy wondered where the two chestnuts were. Perhaps the other ponies hated the rain and they’d stayed somewhere more sheltered? Em was a few metres away now, sauntering along the faint path that years and years of ponies and walkers must have worn into the turf.
Then she stopped and glanced back, peering through her fringe expectantly. As if she was telling Daisy to get a move on.
Daisy felt her mouth twist into a smile. Hurriedly, her wellies slipping a little on the soaked ground, she ran after the white pony, catching her up and standing by her shoulder. Then, without really thinking about it, she put out her hand and patted Em’s neck, very gently. It was the first time that she’d touched her – that she’d touched any of the ponies. She knew she wasn’t supposed to but she was sure Em had wanted her to. That look…
Em was warm, and her coat was somehow rough and silky at the same time. She gazed solemnly back at Daisy and snorted, blowing so that her damp fringe fluttered. Daisy laughed. Slowly, she moved her hand to stroke Em’s nose, running her hand over the iron-grey velvet. She held it there just for a second, as if someone was going to tell her off. Then she tucked her hands back in her pockets, grinning all over.
The pony walked on and Daisy hurried after her. She wouldn’t go far – she’d promised Mum – but she couldn’t leave Em to walk on her own, not now. If Em went too far, she would just turn back. She’d walked round this part of the forest with her family and she knew the path they were on. They were going to slope down towards the little stream soon – she and Oscar had spent ages there one afternoon last summer, trying to make boats out of sticks tied together with grass. The stream was her boundary – she wasn’t supposed to cross it when she was out on walks with Betsy.
