“You’ll have to talk to her,” Kian replied. “Go on and take a shower. Luca will go get you something to eat and then we’ll go to the infirmary.”
Without another word Luca turned on the ball of his foot and swaggered, yes swaggered, out of the room at Kian’s order. I cocked my head to the side as I considered this new dynamic to the guys’ relationship. Before the attack, Luca would have had a sarcastic comeback for Kian and certainly wouldn’t follow his orders without arguing, or at the very least would part with a sarcastic remark, even if it were for me.
Interesting.
Kian didn’t seem to notice, or he was used to Luca’s new compliant attitude. He just motioned to the bathroom, his face serious, but a sparkle behind his eyes. I stood there for a moment admiring Kian. My eyes roamed his body, taking in every dip and curve of his frame. When I was satisfied that he was uninjured, I returned my gaze to his face. My heart filled with joy. With everything that had happened lately, he stuck by me.
I am incredibly lucky to have Kian in my life.
The three of us walked toward the infirmary in silence. I felt marginally better between the hot shower and the sandwich Luca had brought me, but if I was honest with myself, I was looking forward to another healing. The lacerations on my torso pulled with a stinging pain if I wasn’t careful how I moved and the limited motion aggravated me more than the jolt of pain I felt from my left leg every time I took a step.
Nerves built in my stomach with each step that brought me closer to the infirmary.
How are my friends? I brought this upon them. Are they going to hate me now?
Thoughts swirled through my head and although I was fearful of what was to come, I knew I needed to woman up and face them. Kian stopped outside of the door, stepping in front of me. I avoided his eyes and instead stared at the giant red cross painted on the stark white wall, indicating we were in the infirmary wing.
My nostrils flared as I took in a deep breath, my eyes watering from the overwhelming smell of antiseptic. “Come on, Kian. Let’s do this.”
“Are you ready?” I knew he wasn’t asking about my physical well-being and honestly, I was taken aback at how well he had read my uneasiness.
I closed my eyes as I considered his question. “Ready as I will ever be. I’m just…” I paused as Luca’s warm arm snaked through mine, a silent offering of support. Kian’s eyes narrowed at Luca before turning back to me. “I’m just scared they will hate me because after all, it’s my fault they’re here.”
“They won’t hate you,” he breathed into my ear, as Luca pushed opened the door to the infirmary.
We stepped inside the infirmary without any of the staff noticing our presence. There were about eight Caelian healers and two norm physicians bustling around two occupied hospital beds. The curtains were drawn so that I couldn’t see who the patients were, but my chest constricted at the sight of only two injured.
Who isn’t in a bed? Was my first thought followed by, Why are there only two? Every thought after that went downhill as any semblance of a positive attitude I had gained on the trip to the infirmary was erased with the sight of only two occupied beds.
I leaned over to Kian, who had stood on the opposite side from where Luca was still holding on to my arm with a firm grip as if I was going to escape or faint. “Why are there only two beds occupied?”
“The rest are across the hall. This room is for critical care.”
“Oh,” was all I could say. The threat of tears stung as I turned to look at the beds again. This time, one of the healers noticed the three of us.
“Nurse Bennet, your ward has arrived,” the willowy Caelian that noticed us announced to the room. Silence followed as everyone standing on two feet stared at me before all together they erupted in a deafening noise of gratitude. Their admiration making me sick with guilt. I was unworthy of their praise. This attack wouldn’t have happened because of me. The two nurses closest to me grabbed my hands and pulled me away from my support system and toward an empty bed.
“I’m here to see my friends,” I said to one of the nurses, but instead of answering she walked away. Kian and Luca, who had followed me to the bed, were pushed away by others before the nurse who hadn’t answered my question shut them out with a swish from the thick divider curtain.
“I don’t really need to be seen yet. I just want to see my friends,” I pleaded again. A norm doctor approached, her gaze focused on my chart, with Nurse Bennet at her side. I gasped as I took in the yellowing bruises and the faint scarring covering her jaw that flowed down her neck to her shoulders, marring her once smooth skin. Her lavender hair was closely cropped in a stylish, but edgy haircut which matched her new self-assured attitude. She looked worlds different from the last time I had seen her, when she had been shaking from fear at the thought of touching me.
“You’ll see them in a minute, Sadie,” Nurse Bennet spoke in her calm, soothing voice and placed a hand on my knee without an ounce of fear. “They’re not going anywhere at the moment, but you need to be seen again.”
“What about you? You need healing too!” I paused a moment to look over her again, “What happened to your beautiful hair?”
She raised her hand from my knee and with a soft touch, ran her fingers down her scarred neck, “Burned in the attack. As soon as I was injured, Joseph grabbed me and started to take me to the safe area to be taken care of. I couldn’t speak, the pain was so intense.” Her voice began to shake. “I couldn’t tell him that we had left little Holly behind, but I saw you pick her up before I lost consciousness. You saved her.”
“I did what anyone would do.”
“Perhaps, but you did it. You saved her when I couldn’t, and now I’m going to make sure you are well enough to do what needs to be done.” She gave me a knowing look and I felt my resolve against my grandfather grow.
Another Caelian nurse walked in, her lips pulled in a broad smile, showing her perfect teeth and causing the laugh lines in her face to deepen. The doctor spoke to her for a moment before exiting along with Nurse Bennet.
I couldn’t help but stare at the new nurse. She was the oldest nurse I had ever seen and she emitted a soothing aura that calmed me the instant it touched my mind. Her baby blue hair was pulled into a bun at the nape of her neck like other members of the Underground.
“Hi Sadie. My name is Candace.” She took one of my hands in two of hers. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
I nodded as waves of calm washed over me and my vision narrowed so that it was only Candace and me in the world.
“I am to be your healer today. Forgive my secondary; my calming aura can sometimes be too intense. I don’t usually work in the trauma ward. I’m stationed in the mental health wing.”
Candace kept talking as she worked. She told me how she’d been busier than ever since the attack on the orphanage. Her wing had an abundance of adolescents needing her calming aura when they went through therapy.
The next thing I knew, Candace was being wheeled away and the fog lifted from my brain. I jerked to a seated position, noting that the pain in my side had been reduced to an uncomfortable stretching. Nurse Bennet walked in, her eyes downcast.
“What the hell?” I whispered menacingly.
She released a long-suffering sigh. “I’ve known you for years, Sadie. You would have refused help from Candace because of her age, but she wanted to help. She’s the only nurse available who isn’t struggling with the cost of using their Talent. Her secondary doesn’t drain her and we all agreed that you would need her calming aura to accept the healing properly.”
“I don’t like things being done to me against my will,” I spat with unrestrained anger, before taking a few calming breaths. Although what they did had pissed me off to no end, I knew she was right. “Will she be okay?”
“Yes. Since you were calm and accepting of her healing, she was able to completely heal you. You will not have to come for another session, which is good because the nurses, both Caelia
n and norm, are being stretched too thin.”
“Thanks,” I whispered. “But you could have let me heal naturally once the danger had passed.”
She pursed her lips. “I could have and probably should have, but we all have a feeling that you will need your strength. Cecile told me who you are.”
I stiffened at the mention of Mrs. LaMotte’s real name. Obviously Nurse Bennet knows her story too. I didn’t know what to say, so I just stared at her, letting my expression tell her to hurry up and get to the point.
“The news. Your grandfather. The attack. Everything seems to involve you in some small way and that scares me.”
“Scares you?” I asked.
“Yes. I don’t want you to be some political pawn for war and destruction.”
“My genetics have already dictated that I will always be involved in destruction. Why not throw some politics in it for good measure?” Sarcasm poured out of my voice.
“Don’t take that tone with me young lady. I may have just joined the Underground, but I will always be your elder.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I replied, my lips curled into a half smile.
“Okay then. Let’s go see your friends.”
Chapter 21
My heart sank as Nurse Bennet opened the curtain. For a moment I had forgotten why I was in the infirmary to begin with. Kian and Luca stood abruptly when they saw me. Both sets of eyes scanned my body critically before relaxing.
Nurse Bennet didn’t ignore their ridiculous perusal. “What? Did you think we were going to beat her more? You boys need to back off before Sadie wises up and finds friends who aren’t so overbearing.”
A loud laugh escaped from my lips at their shocked expressions. Nurse Bennet, a tiny middle aged woman, had just handed their asses to them on a silver platter. It was glorious.
“Sadie.” A weak voice called out from the nearest occupied bed. My laugh died in my throat at the sound of Rebecca’s voice.
I wasn’t ready for this. But I had to be.
Straightening my shoulders and taking a deep breath, I swept the curtain to the side and walked to the bed. Memories from a few months ago when our roles were reversed exploded in my mind as I saw her propped up with at least five pillows behind her and a fashion magazine splayed across her lap.
Her midnight blue skin had paled to a sickly royal blue. It looked unnatural on her and my heart clenched at the thought of her being in this bed. Blankets were pulled up to her chest, covering most of her body, but other than the obvious missing outline where her left leg used to be, she looked fine.
“Stop staring at me.”
“I’m sorry.” There were so many things I wanted, needed to say, but my traitorous mouth wouldn’t work. So I tried to put everything into those two words.
“Get over here.” Rebecca reached out to me and I let myself melt into her hug. Her warm hands gently pat a soothing rhythm on my back.
“Here you are in a hospital bed and you are soothing me.” My voice was muffled and just above a whisper since my lips were pressed against her shoulder.
“You need it more than I do.”
I pulled back, shocked and a little angry that she thought me so weak.
“What? Look at you. Look what knowing me has caused you. I came here to see you and to support you and the others like you did me when I was hospitalized.”
A smile lit up her face, a wan ghost of her usual joy-filled grin, but the sight of her smiling in her situation filled me with pride. Rebecca was often seen as nothing but a beautiful thing, a weak siren who could only be used as a distraction. But this woman smiling before me was one of the strongest people I knew.
“That is why you need the comfort. I bet the entire walk over here, you beat yourself up for causing us harm and thinking we’d hate you.” She paused to cross her arms. “Am I wrong?”
I raised both eyebrows so high my forehead wrinkled and I pursed my lips, not saying anything. She was right and I knew that, but I didn’t want to confirm it.
“No. You’re right,” Luca spoke up behind me, followed by an “OOF.” I looked over my shoulder. Luca was holding his ribs, glaring at Kian, while Kian stood tall and gave me a wink. My lips curled into a grin. Kian knew I was trying to save face and in his own way he was supporting me.
I love that about him. My eyes widened at that thought and before he or anyone else could try to read my shocked expression, I cut them to the floor and stared at the white tile. There was no way I was going to explore that train of thought in the infirmary, surrounded by my injured friends and the object of those stray thoughts.
I shook my head and returned my gaze to Rebecca. She had this smug, triumphant look on her face. The one she gets when she thinks she knows something juicy. I knew she had somehow figured out what was going on in my head. Eyes widened, I shook my head with a ‘no’ in a tight movement as to not alert the boys. She raised an eyebrow and mouthed We will talk later.
“How can you be so calm after…” I pointed to her missing leg.
“I can’t change what has happened, but I won’t lie and say that it doesn’t disturb me. I feel less of a woman and less of a Caelian. I don’t know how I will be able to use my Talent properly anymore. Who will be attracted to a one-legged woman?”
I swore I heard Luca mumble “you’d be surprised,” followed by a cough. Rebecca narrowed her gaze at Luca and my suspicions were confirmed. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears and I decided it would be prudent to change the subject.
“Where are Madison and John?”
Rebecca’s gaze instantly softened. “John is the bed next to us.” I stood up to go see him, but Rebecca’s hand grabbed my wrist. “Wait.”
She held on to my wrist with a tight hold, surprising me since she was the one sitting in the hospital bed. “Madison is fine, just a few cuts and bruises. But John, he’s…” she paused as tears pooled in her eyes. “He’s not doing good.”
All the strength left my legs and I melted, sitting beside Rebecca on her bed. Warm tears slid down both cheeks as I thought back to the last time I had seen John, lying on the ground covering Madison with his body.
“John, he protected Madison with his body. He took the brunt force of the explosion for her, which caused massive internal injuries. His brain activity is well below what it should be and the doctors do not think that he’ll wake up. Madison is not taking it well.”
“Oh my god.” I covered my face with my hands and let the tears flow. Guilt poured over me like hot oil. I felt as if I were melting from the inside out. A pair of warm hands squeezed my shoulders and I felt the strength of Kian’s Talent pour into me.
“Where’s Madison?” Kian asked as I struggled to push back the tears.
“She hasn’t left his side, except to visit me a few times when the doctor kicked her out of his room. Last I heard, they had to give her something to sleep.”
A pressing urge to see my friend filled my body until I couldn’t sit still anymore. Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I stood. “I’ll come back before I leave the infirmary.”
Rebecca nodded and gave my arm a final squeeze before letting go. “I’ll be here waiting.”
Luca held open the curtain so Kian and I could exit, but he didn’t follow. His head was tilted, eyes focused on Rebecca, his chest heaving as he took in deep breaths. I stopped before crossing the threshold, turned around and met his eyes, questioning. What was he picking up with his secondary to cause such a strong reaction?
He straightened his head and shrugged his shoulders, his dilated eyes still focused on Rebecca. “I think you two need to do this alone.” A light pink flush spread across his cheeks. “Plus, I’d like to talk to Rebecca in private.”
“You be nice or I’ll hand you your balls on a platter,” I threatened, although a small part of me was hoping that he could be there for her in a way that she would never allow me to be.
His face was serious when he nodded before closing the curtain on Kian and me.
/> Kian wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me toward him. Our bodies aligned and melded together and I rested my cheek against his chest, letting the comforting rhythm of his heart beat and the strength of his Talent flow into me. I felt years older than 18. A sickening pit formed in my stomach as I thought of what I would see behind John’s curtain.
“You need to do this.” Kian’s gruff voice rumbled against my cheek and in that moment I didn’t want to be strong. I didn’t want to be the girl whose best friend had had her leg blown off, her other friend in a coma, while the strongest member of their group lost herself to grief.
I wanted to run.
Kian’s strong arms tightened around me as if he could feel the fear become this tangible thing threatening to consume me. “If there is one thing that I know about you, Sadie, it’s that you are not selfish and you are not weak. You love your friends more than your own life and you will face this.” Kian pulled back, lifting my chin with his fingers so he could look me in the eye. “I didn’t know you before you lost Liam, but I know you had lost yourself for a while. These people, your friends, kept you from losing yourself completely. Now it is time for you to keep yourself together. For them. You will go in there and no matter what happens, you will be their strength now because that is who you are.”
It baffled me that Kian understood me inside and out, that his instincts were so keen to my needs. He knew what to say in order to ground me and return my focus to what mattered. I was being selfish, thinking only of my own hurt and my own guilt so that I wasn’t considering my friends.
I raised up on my toes, placed a gentle kiss on Kian’s cheek, and whispered, “Thank you” before gathering the courage to turn around and walk toward John’s curtained room. Kian kept a firm grip on my hand, squeezing it reassuringly with each step we took.
Kian reached out and grabbed the curtain, then paused to look at me. I nodded before stepping into the darkened room. My nostrils were assaulted with a strong antiseptic odor and a lingering sour stench that caused my stomach to roil. A steady beeping filled the silence as I blinked, trying to force them to adjust to the lack of light.
The Caelian Cycle Boxed Set Page 27
